Anyone ride/compete and also have more than 2 young children

[Wouldibemad]

I am a regular but have name changed for this.

I have 2 children, 5 and 18 months, and my heart tells me I'd like another. However, on a practical level, it is a juggling act to get to work, have a home life and ride (let alone compete). I wondered if anyone on here has managed to continue to ride and compete with more than 2 kids and if so have you done it - is it much worse than trying to juggle 2?

I don't have a lot of family help (certainly none that would trail off to competitions with me and 3 kids every weekend). I wondered about a horsey au pair (I know they can't be left with a baby alone but might not mind coming to the yard or competitions so much and could also help to keep horse fit) but not sure I want someone living in my house.

So, really looking for inspirational stories and advice but equally happy to accept a reality check!

Thanks (also in Tack Room)

 

[PorkChop]

I only have two so I don't know if one more would be a lot more difficult, however I do know that if you are determined to make it work you will.

If you have the resources to be able to pay for help on a competition day then I see no reason why not.

If it were me, considering your children's ages I might think it would be better to have a couple of years off competing, it gets so much easier once they are that bit older.

Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[Lucyad]

Quite frankly it is hard enough with one young child without backup - folk can say 'where there's a will there's a way' but that doesn't magic a safe and willing pair of hands to hold a baby while you ride the horse - and you can't exactly leave it lying on the grass next to the ring!

I relied on OH, family or lovely friends to help - and I only have one child and competed very locally, very low level only, minimising time involved. It is so much easier now she is old enough to look after herself on a showground - and can actually be quite helpful occasionally! Good luck, and I hope you get some more useful suggestions than mine!

 

[HotToTrot]

Horsey au pair a good idea. Or, multi-pronged approach! Sometimes leave the kids at home (with husband?) whilst you compete. In return, you'd obv have to have them whilst he watched Rugby, or whatever he does! Friends and family are generally good for a little babysitting, so ask them to come to one thing, or to have the kids whilst you went off and did one thing. That might get you five or six competitions. Pay for help sometimes, that gets you another few competitions. Doesn't need to be someone with child experience if they're just doing the odd day. Find teenagers who want to earn cash at weekends. I think if you mix n match a bit, then nobody gets too put upon and you don't have to spend too much. By the time you get no.3, no. 1 will be old enough to give a bottle to no.3, for example, if they were at the side of the arena at home whilst you rode. Three is going to be harder than two, I think, esp as no. 3 will be pretty demanding to start with. But soon, presumably, no. 1 will have weekend activities to go to - netball in the mornings for example. So that could alleviate the load a bit....?

 

[Wouldibemad]

Thanks all, so many sensible comments. HotToTrot I like the multipronged attack. All food for thought. I guess if I decide it's really what I want (not that husband gets a say of course!) then even though it'll be a grind at times and I may miss some competitions, I'm hardly going to look back in 30 years and say 'god, I missed too many pre-novices!', but I would probably always regret not having a child I wanted.................who knows.

Perhaps the answer is to swap car and trailer for a 7.5T lorry and convert the living into a travelling crèche - could fund it by extending the service to other competitors!!