Appeal for new rider

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Hovis_and_SidsMum

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22 January 2007
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My name is Hovis. I am 5 years old and a big boy who is growing up fast. I have stolen my mums account on here to make a request for a new rider.
I love my mum, shes really good to me but sometimes I do worry about what goes on in her head.
Last night it was really hot, i was quite happy hanging out with my mates in the field eyeing up this really fit mare thats just arrived on the yard - hubba hubba. But no! Mother wants to do some "schooling", YAWN. So off we poddle and I'm on best behaviour figuring that this will be over quicker if I don't do my world acclaimed sideways canter down the school. Sure enough after 30 minutes shes cuddling me and telling me since I'm a good boy we'll call it a night. SUCKER!
But then she decides that we'll practise opening and shutting the gate. What she means is SHE needs to practise as she's pants at it, and i mean pants.
After 10 minutes of her asking me to go backwards and forwards like some sort of hobby horse i took matters out of her hands.
I opened my mouth, got hold of the gate and pushed it open then did the same the other way around. Its hardly difficult. Now shes acting like i'm some sort of genius which is embarrassing me in front of the rest of my posse. Its like the way she kisses me goodbye in front of them - SO embarrassing. i'm not a baby up for god sakes
So is there anyone out there who wants to adopt me? All I ask is that you're intelligent enough to know how to open gates, don't call me "Hovey baby" in front of my mates and absolutely no kissing me in front of the mare I'm trying to pull.
Any takers?
 
ROFL! love it!
grin.gif
 
Dear Hovis

Have you ever heard of the word "sectioned" ... just whisper it back to Mummy when she calls you Hovey.
 
Dear Hovis,

You're obviously way smarter than your mummy and I agree that calling you Hovey is just wrong.

Maybe though, she just needs retraining and I think she would benefit from a few weeks 'reschooling'.

Next time though, don't deny yourself that world renowned canter - let it out, don't hold back.
 
Hi Babe, My mum told me about your post so I have managed to get on line at last and find it.

You sound really hot and I am quite a goey type of gal, if you get my drift, had a few babies but hey, I got my figure back!

I sympathise with you about all the kissing stuff. She does that to me, puts her arms around my neck and tries to make my mane stay over on the same side as it makes me look smarter. Ugh. The gate trick sounds cool, I dont bother with using my mouth, I just push with my shapely shoulders and it seems to make her cross for some reason.

I wouldn't bother with trying to get another rider, just pretend you are lame, like I did, but you have to persist and not forget to do it when you are caught unawares. If she loves you enough you will get to have a long rest, you may have to go to the vet, but hey that's a small price to pay.

I was allowed to get off with a really cool boy and that was fun and then I had a baby. But, I guess you are a boy, so not sure what the lameness trick would hold for you.......

On second thoughts, dont try it!!!
 
Oh Hovis, if you have your mum pts (coz she does sound terminally insane) you could come and live with me but I'm afraid I totally could NOT guarantee the "no kissing" clause! xxx
 
Hi Hovis this is Tiggy. My mums horse cant log on because he is away and anyway he is rubbish on the keebored I however have been using my mums keebored since I was a 10 week old kitun. Originally I used to sleep on it but now I have lurned too tipe but not spel!!

I think you shud hang on too yore mum. Gulliver found that it helped when he blew in his mums ear while she was putting his boots on. I like the behaving trick but if you decide to be naughty you'll find that when you stop work if she looks cross with you do lots of fussing and flirting with the back of her neck Gulliver says it works a treat.

His other bit of advice is to make sure you always give your best work the last ride before she has her hols that really winds them up.

I would advice you to stick wiv her but see if you can weedle grapes out of her. Gulliver got thos when he was poorly and he sid that "Huffur huffur huffur hur" I think it meant they were lush!!
 
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