Are horsey people too judgemental?

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HappyHorses:)

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Humm now we all know of someone who is quick to criticize but, and this is in my life experiance, horsey people seem to be the worst.

This is off the back of the rugging up thread.

Now if it's 5 degrees and my horse is cold he will wear a rug, if he isn't then he wont. Simple. No-one elses business.

Got me thinking about all the gossips and know it all's I've come across over the last twenty years, all those people who think their opinion is THE way for things to be done. 'why do you warm him up for so long' 'why don't you compete more' why did she get that horse' why do/don't you feed that etc.

We have all come across them. :rolleyes:

Don't get me wrong, if advice is needed for safty, welfare or been asked for then fair enough but if people are caring for their horse and it is well loved then surely people should butt out?! It can make people feel really bad for no reason and that is a shame. My friend called me in tears today after a livery where she is mad a comment about her horse looking scruffy and needing a mane pull.

I especially dislike those on yards who gossip behind someones back.
Thank gward i now have my own place and don't have to put up with this kinda thing anymore.

So for a giggle, what has been the stupidest/ most unhelpful advise you have been given yet not asked for? :D
 
Probably why didn't I "just get on it and wallop it if it starts acting scared of anything"... Great advice for a nervous horse don't you think? (I also don't like people calling horses it either, but appreciate that some people don't mind that).

I don't think all horsey people are judgemental thankfully. You'll always get the odd one but I still think they are in the minority.

My opinion on rugging btw is it depends on each individual horse. My horses are unrugged at the moment. But that doesn't mean that I would have a problem with anyone rugging right now. Could be age, health reasons, a fine coated horse, clipped horse etc. It's about taking care of the horse in front of you and sod the armchair critics!
 
Why don't i break my (Just Turned) 2 year old in before he gets too big but lunge him for 10 mins before anyone gets on him!!!!:eek:

As for rugging...your horse and you know what's best for your horse.

All i say to others is, Nobody else knows the full situation of you or your horse so please don't make sweeping statements that blanket covers everyone. Each to their own.
 
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The worst is...I would shoot it,its not safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 years on hes a saint and is loved to bits,although cant be ridden by anyone as he relies on daughter to much.
 
I was worried about my horse as he had had a kick but was not overtly lame but I knew there was something wrong. YO - oh there's nothing wrong with him - do you want a lesson? Me - I think I will get vet out anyway - vet xrays - turns out had a bone chip and was recommended field rest for 6 weeks.

Really beginning to hate my yard now - "No I do not want to do the bl**dy dressage I don't think he is ready yet" I respond (without the bl**dy) for the zillionth time in a matter of days. My YO cannot stand it if you don't do what she thinks you should and there are a couple of groupies on the yard with their heads stuck firmly up her backside who report everything back to her. Really starting to get to me!
 
Horsey people are NOT judgemental at all, that is just stupid- STUPID I tells ya! You must be stupid :D

Seriously though, I dunno about judgemental, mental yes but JUDGEmental....?
 
LOL at Farrierlover.

You after a bundle??!!

Hey I have met some lovely horsey friends over the years but after trying to convince my friend that she was not a bad owner because her horses mane was a bit scraggy just got me thinking.
 
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My mare has just had a KS operation and somebody told me why waste my money on putting her through an operation when could could get another horse for what it costs!

That pi**ed me off. Some people think horses are just disposable creatures that you get rid of if they go wrong. She's my horse, my responsibility and my god she's worth it!
 
marmalade76 said:
Your friend was in tears because someone suggested she pull her horse's mane? :confused::confused:
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She was upset because she was made to feel like she wasn't looking after her horse properly. Silly I know and I kinda tried to put it in perspective, but I think she has had quite a few comments off this person before and what with a few personal problems shes been dealing with I think she is a bit sensitive at the mo. My point was what has it got to do with the other person?!

Anyways! Just wanted people to share their experiences for a giggle.
 
I think it's rather like the scraps/differences of opinion that people have over childraising. At the heart of it is something absolute – the welfare of an animal or a child – so people feel free to have strong opinions about what's right and what's wrong.
 
If you ask for advice you will receive it up to you whether you take it or not. horses now adays seem to have rugs for every month of the year. In my day NZ rug for turn out in winter, Jute rug+blanket stabled if really cold single duvet underneath if fully clipped. Things change not always for the better.
 
Oh the best thing that was ever said to me was about my shettie. The woman who is a know it all in the next field to our yard complained to my sister that it was cruel for him to be out in all weathers without a rug...and this was in the summer!!!! She also thought I was cruel because I had to stable my little mare who was crippled with lami for 7 months, as it was unnatural....strangley her mare has to brought in at the first sign of rain and she had been known to phone me at work and ask me if I could go and put her mare in for her.....I work 4 miles away and cycle there. I just said "how about you do it and while your there muck my field out so I can go home for a cuppa from work"..

Just to prove how knowledgable she is, at a show we both went in to the veteran class with our arab x mares. Sovereign went round beautifully and we came 3rd, she came last in 6th. She stormed out of the ring but later said her combination(conformation) was all wrong and she was playing up because she had put her new bit in that morning. She was convinced when she said combination and I corrected her that she meant conformation but she actually meant that she and her mare weren't working properly together as she always says how my other mare and my daughter are a great conformation......

I don't care what other people do or say if it doesn't affect me but when they say stupid things I just snigger at them and make corrections......
 
I had the rug comment the other day off some stupid girl on my yard. She speaks like a complete retard, never comes up to the yard to see her pony, because she can't be arsed. She asked me why I was rugging my pathetically wet Thoroughbred (from a racing yard where he's never even had to lift his own tail to dump) when it was blowing a gale and whizzing with rain the other night. "Because he's thin-skinned and has no fat on him whatsoever as he is literally all muscle" was my reply. "Well, that rug seems thick to me" came my reply and I refrained from retorting "so do you". It's mediumweight and I have just ordered a heavyweight as he's still a bit chilly on a night.

That was from a girl who's pony's teeth are chattering he's so cold so he has a rug on that doesn't do up at the front and is half way up his rump so he's still cold.

Maybe I should ask HER why she's put a rug on him that doesn't even fit?! :rolleyes:
 
Well sometimes it becomes necessary to become judgemental, because the owner is mental :eek: Like the woman who put a lint dressing on a wound on her horses nose,(caused by ill fitting fly mask rubbing on old scar tissue) held on with micropore wrapped round it's jaw, I kid you not. I then saw the same woman about three weeks after this, riding out with an elastpolast on the horses nose (areound noseband level). I could not help myself had to ask her what the bl@@dy H@ll she was doing, told me that she had to do that to stop the bridle rubbing the sore spot. I 'suggested' that she should desist from riding until the poor mare had healed, or at least take the noseband off!
 
The best two (that I can think of atm) "Why don't you get a synthetic?" <--We'd been talking about cost as they'd just spent a fortune on getting the daughter stuff for college, and I was on about how much getting new stuff for showing was going to set me back and the fact I needed a new sadde for it (my responce..trying very hard not to talk to them like the were an idiot "no it needs to be leather")

And (same family) when on about jumping, and the fact Herc has a max hight of 2ft ish before he starts clipping poles (we only jump for fun so I don't care really) "If you lift the pole as he goes over and hit his legs he'll jump higher next time" Erm no love...thats rapping, and i'll stick with my little jumpies thank you very much.

Oh and just remembed another one...Blue can be a pig with his bridle, it's fine when its on, but while your trying to get his bit in he tosses his head, and my sharer - bless her - is not too competant while tacking up (he's the only horse she's ever tacked up really and hes not the best to learn on) so it takes her a while to get it on and over with out dropping the bit (the fact he's 16.1hh and she bout 5'3" doesn't help) so what we do is she has a few attempts and usually eventually gets it, if she can't or she feels he's getting too wound up she asks me to do it. So we were stood there one day, her trying it, me watching and offering advice, when an overly helpful livery (who is currently doing my head in, but thats another rant) starts offering her advice, comes over and asks to have ago, so my sharer let her...first thing she did - hit my already headshy horse around the face as he tossed it...our rule is ignore his bad behaviour (as long as it's not dangerous) and praise him when he behaves...I was speechless and fuming. Even more so when it took me the better part of 5 minutes to get near him with the bridle the next day, let alone to get the bit in.

I'll admit that I have been wondering why somepeople are rugging already, but i do get that some horses are thinner skinned and are used to it etc. (tho I was wondering why one livery was putting her horses L/W (heavier that a fleece/sheet) with a neck on at 4 in the afternoon while it was still warm enough for her to be comfortable in a t-shirt rather than ask the YO to do it when/if the temps dropped)
 
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I'd say yes, they are. I don't know one horsey person who isn't judgemental, and I don't believe anyone who says they arn't.

But, the difference is some people say it, and some people don't. If they do say it, you just have to get on and ignore it. It's part and parcel of this world.
 
Srarsnrunes, not being judgemental but may be able to help with your tacking up, our mare was horribly headshy when we first got her, so much so the vet couldn't do her teeth, it didn't help that she was part girraffe, iniatally we backed her up to a wall and gently held her nose down to get the bridle on, with lots of praise, she would often drag us round her box avoiding her bridle, then once it was on, more praise and a treat, she quickly learnt not to fear the bridle, hope this helps but kindness always wins through in the end.
 
flirtygerty said:
Srarsnrunes, not being judgemental but may be able to help with your tacking up, our mare was horribly headshy when we first got her, so much so the vet couldn't do her teeth, it didn't help that she was part girraffe, iniatally we backed her up to a wall and gently held her nose down to get the bridle on, with lots of praise, she would often drag us round her box avoiding her bridle, then once it was on, more praise and a treat, she quickly learnt not to fear the bridle, hope this helps but kindness always wins through in the end.
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Thats what I do. Slip the bridle over his nose, let him have his initial toss, then bit in and he gets a polo straight away (they're in the same hand so he takes both at the same time, and luckily he's a total polo-whore so it wins over the dislike of the bit, lol) then over the ears...It's wierd as he doesn't refuse to open his mouth and is fine once the bits in. He's actually alot better than he used to be. It's just unfortunately my sharer isn't experienced/quick/tall enough to manage it staight away even though she tries the same principal. I think my next stage will be teaching him to lower his head, even if it's just a little to help her out.

He had to be sedated for the dentist last time we had them too, I think (I was away at the time) that it was the bit that holds the mouth open that he wasn't happy with having on. I think he's been socked in the mouth by a previous rider in the past.

Thanks for the help tho.
 
I think the thing is if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing.

If someone ASKS for your opinion, then maybe give in my opinion I would do xyz. Unless it is a serious welfare issue (when I tend to find those people that complain about stupid things and voice their views stand there with their hands in their pockets and do nothing) and the horse is not suffering it is totally up to the owner.

Things have changed rapidly in the last 20 years with rugging, feeding, veterinary knowledge so hugely different views come from different generations. I still see nothing wrong in hacking the ponies out to the fields, in just headcollars, no hats, no bp and having good old fashioned fun with our horses, other people wave their arms in horror.

A little bit of live and let live, and no one should ever reduce someone to tears especially over a mane needing pulling, that is just bullying and snobbery we dont all want perfect show ponies on our yards, hairy and scruffy normally means happy ponies :).
 
In my experience, they definitly are. Esp those who are with horses full time. Get a busy, absorbing, full time job lovey and broaden your horizons / have the edges knocked off you and then you won't be so interested in whether someone else has or hasn't done a, b or c!
 
yorksG said:
Well sometimes it becomes necessary to become judgemental, because the owner is mental :eek: Like the woman who put a lint dressing on a wound on her horses nose,(caused by ill fitting fly mask rubbing on old scar tissue) held on with micropore wrapped round it's jaw, I kid you not. I then saw the same woman about three weeks after this, riding out with an elastpolast on the horses nose (areound noseband level). I could not help myself had to ask her what the bl@@dy H@ll she was doing, told me that she had to do that to stop the bridle rubbing the sore spot. I 'suggested' that she should desist from riding until the poor mare had healed, or at least take the noseband off!
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:D:D:D:D
 
LOL PoppyAnderson but isnt that reply judgemental about people working full time with horses.

I have a Masters in Aviation that only 3 women in the UK have, have done a job in rotary aircraft that I am the only female to have achieved but now do horses 95% of my time, the other 5% is TV aviation filming and teaching english to foreign students both I have to take qualify to be able to do. I have worked in a male only environment where can I broaden my horizons have the edges knocked off of me :).
 
I get the irony of saying what I said! I too have worked with horses full time in the past and now work as a senior manager in engineering, so I work in a male dom enviro too. Given the experiences I've had in the past and observations I've made, it just seems that there's a particular type of horsey woman who spends too much time ........ I'll stop now should I!!!!!!
 
Thank you, you have given me the biggest laugh of the night, it has totally made my day (would put a big huge laughing smiley here if I knew how).
 
The most judgemental folk I have ever met in my life have been horsy people.
I think it goes with the territory, every stable has its share of know it alls.

At times in my life, I have found it intimidating, it has rocked my confidence and self belief.

I now have the attitude, my horses...my way. Thats not to say I think I know it all, its a constant learning curve and I ask for advice frequently, but I will no longer be made to feel bad for doing things my way having weighed up all advice given on an issue.
I've known some people who get the holly hump if you dont look after your horse as they say, seriously over bearing YO's who totally interfere with how you take care of your horse. No one has the right to do this, they are basically control freaks!

But I think the worst of all are the highly judgemental know it alls that actually know very little about horses. I have seen and heard some shocking statements from such people.
EG: Dont be ridicoulous, Ragwort doesn't poison horses............from a know it all YO !!!!
Replied with: Oh so DEFRA has it wrong heh......no hint of sarcasm honest ;)
 
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