Are some horses just indifferent?

mollichop

mollichop

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I have had my 17 year old mare for about 6 years now. Having always had affectionate geldings before, I feel I really don't have a bond with her at all and it is really getting me down.

After reading about, and seeing pics on here of the great relationships people on here have with their horses, i'm upset that she sems to see me as nothing more than a waitress :(

She may or may not have had a rough time before I had her as she was a freebie having been passed through a market with a bad leg injury - looks like wire wrapped round her hock.

Whenever I try to be affectionate with her, I get head tossing and ears back. She would never bite of kick me I don't think, but never seems interested or pleased to see me unless I have food.

I am the only person who cares for her, so she definately knows she is 'my' horse if that makes sense. I try to fuss her and give her a scratch and rub but she moves away every time. Any ideas?
 
Sounds like maybe shes had a troubled past before you got her. It may take a long time and I bet if you think back to when you first had her, things will have come further forward than you think. I have a mare and she has her own mind, shes not as affectionate as my gelding. Another mare we owned loved to have her head cuddled and would stand for ages. They are all different.
 
I'm currently looking after a mare that belongs to a very good friend (I'll call her A). I have known the mare since she was born, 16years. If you saw her with me you'd think she had never seen me before, she has no interest in interacting with me at all, or so it seems! I was talking to A about it (mare has been here about 6 months) and A said "She's exactly like that with me!" However when A came to see the mare it was very obvious that she was really, really pleased to see her, although she was still by no means cuddly :) A couldn't really see it at all. I wonder if it is the same for yours?
 
Dont suppose she is TB is she?

My old boy was just the same, one day loved me, next could not care less except if his breakfast and tea was late. That was his way, and I oved him for it.

I see it as this, we were one and the same, I have not kissed or hugged my parents since I was 18mths old, but does that mean I love them any less? my sister is very huggy and kissey , does that mean she loves them more?

NO, we just show if in different ways, my boy was totally indifferent until I was pregnant, then I did not recognise him , he was over me like a rash. Whwn Daisy was born, he returned back to type.

She loves you, she just does not do public affection xxxxxx
 
Do we own the same horse? It took me months to stroke her face, though she still moves away. She rarely makes any noise unless I'm late and then she nickers softly in disgust. She waves a leg, snakes her head and gnashes her teeth when rug changing. But she is wonderful nonetheless, excellent ground manners and great to ride. She loves treats, that's what brings her over in the field. Not me, but my apple core or whatever might be lurking in my pockets.
 
my 20 yr old mare is very similair to the OP - & ive owned her a long time & at best i woud describe her as politely indifferent to me - well behaved, good to ride , nice manners but has never really shown me any affection UNTIL last summer when a friend put her youngster in my field - whenever i went to give him any attention - she chased him away [ & i never give treats in the field so it wasnt food based] - recently i have been looking after another baby cob & she is quick to put him in his place if she feels he is getting too much fuss BUT if i dare try to give her any fuss - she is quick to remind me that she just isnt that sorta girl:rolleyes:
perhaps some horses are just more reserved than others
 
9tails said:
Do we own the same horse? It took me months to stroke her face, though she still moves away. She rarely makes any noise unless I'm late and then she nickers softly in disgust. She waves a leg, snakes her head and gnashes her teeth when rug changing. But she is wonderful nonetheless, excellent ground manners and great to ride. She loves treats, that's what brings her over in the field. Not me, but my apple core or whatever might be lurking in my pockets.
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I think we may do :), I lost my beautiful boy last month, but that sounds just like him xxxxxx, in every way, st least he loved my pockets :D xx
 
I think thats quite normal marish behaviour for some. one of my old share horses was like that and the other also a mare loved a good fuss.
 
My friend's mare is not affectionate at all, never has been. She is pleased to see someone if she thinks she'll get food, but she doesn't like grooming, stroking or anything. It's just her way - she's 25 now, so won't change!
 
Yes she is a TB! Interesting to hear other horses are the same.

She has had a new field mate this week and I must admit to trying to make her a bit jealous by fussing the new mare to get a reaction - nothing! lol guess i'll have to accept that's just her way and she doesn't do PDA's :D
 
One of my friends has a gelding who she absolutely worships. But he is so unaffectionate, always has been and it appears always will be as she's had him for about 7 years now. Like people they are all different. Some love being touchy feely, others are distant and everything in between.

Don't be downbeat, I bet your girl loves you dearly.
 
Some show their feelings others dont i have several but the one that is least affectionate i have had since a yearling was very troubled terrified when i got him but i have had him 19 years.

He hates being cuddled threatens you ears back cringes and flinches when you touch him or walk past him has just about accepted he has to be caught,groans when the fariirer does him at least he doesnt box him now and despises and wont let anybody catch him but me, but he does favour me and i think he is just not very friendly along with a bad start, he does sometimes show a flicker of affection but soon starts scowling i just accept that is how he is he knows i am his mum and does trust me will do almost anything i ask and i know that is alot for him so for me that is enough.

All of the horses i have had from foals or ones that have been well treated are loving it can be a combination of upbringing and personality.
But if your horse isnt being horrible to you just not being cuddly i am sure they love you just in thier own quiet way.
Although we have joked if i die suddenly my family will have to call in a marksman or just open the gate and let him loose to be one of those mythical animals roaming like the beast of bodmin ha ha.

So it could be worse you could own the little toad i do bless him.:)
 
My TB rarely shows affection, unless she's ill or has really had a good day. She is jealous if I spend time with others, but not demonstrative otherwise. Rosie (WBx) is even worse, she's never affectionate at all, just becomes bolshier if not ridden.
 
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