Are some people unteachable when it comes to riding? Whinge alert!

FestiveSpirit

FestiveSpirit

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I am looking for a new instructor at the moment, and have had two lessons with different instructors this week to see who I get on best with. Both have told me that I am not competent enough to be show-jumping in a BE80(T) class at the moment
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ETA - they are right BTW, I dont have any issue with what they are telling me!

I have had my current horse since October last year, and have been having regular (minimum weekly) lessons since then pretty much consistently, of which 80% have been jumping lessons. Prior to that I have been riding for 18 years (started when I was 21) and have had my own horse for the past ten years, competing at unaff stuff and some BE (although only to PN level).

So have I simply had the wrong instructor for the past six months with my present horse, or I am unteachable?
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I am beginning to wonder.... I would quite happily jack it all in at this minute and go and do something completely different, except for the fact that I love riding and I love my horse
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I'm beginning to think I'm unteachable. Just returning to riding after a 4 year break, hacking out happily, lessons were going well. Lesson last sunday on an RS schoolmaster - couldn't even trot a bloody circle. Spent most of the evening in floods of tears and contemplating giving it all up.

So back to happy hacking on my share horse for a couple of weeks, then have another lesson and see how I go. If I still can't ride, then that's it, I'm just going to happy hack and forget my ambitions of dressage etc. I wouldn't be quite so frustrated except I've been riding for over 20 years and I used to be reasonably competent.

AARGH!

Anyway, no advice, just wanted to sympathise and let you know you're not on your own
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Move down here - I'll give you a hand
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Think you just need to find the right person who you click with, I am soooo fussy LOL took me years to find someone who I got along with.

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LMAO - Suffolk to Hereford would be a really long job commute every day
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I'm beginning to think I'm unteachable. Just returning to riding after a 4 year break, hacking out happily, lessons were going well. Lesson last sunday on an RS schoolmaster - couldn't even trot a bloody circle. Spent most of the evening in floods of tears and contemplating giving it all up.

So back to happy hacking on my share horse for a couple of weeks, then have another lesson and see how I go. If I still can't ride, then that's it, I'm just going to happy hack and forget my ambitions of dressage etc. I wouldn't be quite so frustrated except I've been riding for over 20 years and I used to be reasonably competent.

AARGH!

Anyway, no advice, just wanted to sympathise and let you know you're not on your own
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Thanks Rana, I was beginning to think it is just me
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It just struck me that I have, for various reasons, had quite a few horses in the past ten years, and then I started thinking that the common denominator which meant that it didnt go right was me...
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I just cant understand why I can continue to be so completely crap at something I love doing
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I really like eventing, but it just turns to rubbish every time
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How rude! Did the instructors tell you why they thought you weren't competant? Was it one thing in particular or was it just your whole general rubbishness?
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I think that is awful. Constructive critisism is fine. I would be glad to know things I need to work on or things I'm doing wrong, but I would hate to hear that I am useless. You don't need to waste your money and pay to hear that. An instructor is meant to help, teach and encourage you, not undermine your confidence which can be so easily lost with riding.

Fwiw I have seen your photo's and I think you look great riding and competing. Find another instructor who can teach properly.
 
Did they say why you arent competant enough? I'd be really annoyed if my instructor told me I wasnt good enough but didnt explain why or how I could improve.
 
In some ways I like not having lessons
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When things don't go right I can use that as an excuse in my head
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Seeing as you want to improve you're clearly not unteachable, its just finding the right instuctor that works for you. I am sure it will all start clicking into place soon- You have already achieved an awful lot
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Good luck
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Did they say why you arent competant enough? I'd be really annoyed if my instructor told me I wasnt good enough but didnt explain why or how I could improve.

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Oh yes, they were both very clear on what I was doing, how it was affecting my show-jumping, and how I needed to practice to get better.

It isnt their assessment I struggle with, it is how I can have been pootling along for 6-7 months with my previous instructor not saying anything
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How rude! Did the instructors tell you why they thought you weren't competant? Was it one thing in particular or was it just your whole general rubbishness?
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But they are absolutely right A1fie - I am not competent at the moment
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Horse and I have got into a downward spiral where we just dont trust each other when show-jumping, and it has started manifesting itself big time now
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They were both very clear on what I was doing wrong, how I need to improve etc, but felt that eventing at the moment was not a good idea?

I think I am more fed up at having wasted so much money on lessons which dont appear to have achieved much so far
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It isnt their assessment I struggle with, it is how I can have been pootling along for 6-7 months with my previous instructor not saying anything
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Is it your old instructor who wanted you to go traipsing across the country grooming for her, all hours of the day and night (or am I totally muddled)
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If so... perhaps she had more than just your interests at heart?
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Or.. From my own experience (which is just helping kids with their ponies), when you've been watching someone ride for some time I tend to remember what they were like at the beginning, and try to help them feel good about the improvements they have made, while still working on the stuff that isn't quite right. Perhaps she picked up on a lack of confidence and didn't want to push you too far, too fast?

New instructors don't know how far you have come, and just see what is still to improve, possibly resulting in a different feel to the lesson.
 
Maybe so you'd keep paying for lessons? Or maybe they werent such a great teacher.

Best thing to do is just move on and find a good instructor.


The one I had before I switched to one of the school's other instructors, gave me a really hard time because I was having a meltdown with my confidence and basically I thought of giving up. She made me feel unworthy of riding.
The one I have now is so understanding, she does things gradually so that I can still improve and push myself but without feeling pressure. Hey presto! Riding lessons got fun again and I feel much more confident.

Its amazing the difference a really good instructor makes, even if there are some dodgy ones out there.
 
I think some people are much harder to teach than others - but i have seen your pictures and I honestly don't think you are one of them (and that is hardly sucking up since i don't know you!).

I have been riding since I was four, but i am dreadful, have no balance and can barely jump. Its not that i am nervous of jumping, but in ten+ years of lessons (I jsut hacked after that), i was never actually taught to. Thinking back, i don't actually think i was ever taught very much, so even though my parents faithfully sought out the cheapest, shoddiest riding schools they could for me, so they didnt have to spend much on my hobby, they'd actually have been better off paying for one year of lessons at Trent Park or Suzannes, and I would have probably learned more !!
 
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Maybe the instructors should be looking at themselves if they feel you are not progressing?

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These were new instructors who were giving me my first lesson this week - a PM from another HHOer has let me accept that it isnt necessarily just me with one of them, it is simply that their teaching style is not compatible with my learning style
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I suppose my thoughts are that I want to trust the other instructor, as I certainly have a lot of respect for her achievements and observations during my lesson, but I am concious that my last instructor appears to have spent 6 months teaching me nothing
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Ahhhh Horse and Hound Forum is so therauptic for working out thought processes
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Hang on a second, if it was not for people like you ....and me and no doubt half the people on this forum, they be out of a job, the whole point is to give instruction and tell people where they are gong wrong, its how they do it that's important. If there making out that your a lost cause and will never make it to the level of your ambitions, then I'm afraid their in the wrong profession and not worth their salt anyway but if there just perfectionists and want to bring you back to basics so everything in near on dam perfect....well that's not a bad thing, it will pay in end.

If you coped so far then you can't of being doing to bad surely, so don't get disheartened or by to hard on yourself.
 
I thinkit is very importaant for you to find an instructor who you get on with and also who is good at thier job ie; qualified in what you want them to teach you and good at it. they need to give you things to practice between lessons and even by the end of the first lesson you should see/feel an improvement. dont take it to heart just hve a chat with them or get an new instructor. try word of mouth or the BHS web site or BE/ BSJA.
 
Don't give yourself a hard time. However bad you think you are you are way better than a lot of people. Me and my horse are not even good enough to enter a local riding show. ( We hitched a lift on the lorry and went for a hack whilst others on the yard competed!)

Learning and improving seems to come in fits and starts. Maybe stop and think for a minute on what you can actually do, and not what you can't. The fact that you can do BE80 is something in itself.

This may just be a period for you when your not improving as fast as you'd like. You need these periods so that you can have the ones when you come out of lessons buzzing when everything has gone well.

If there is genuine merit in what the instructors are saying then maybe have a little break from competing so that you can work on stuff without feeling any pressure.

Don't give up though.
 
Definitely not just you!

I think it's right to say that the new instructors teaching style doesn't fit with your learning style. Just keep trying different instructors until you find someone who is encouraging but critical enough that you improve.

My instructor is a real perfectionist - great for me as I'm exactly the same, but my OH didn't get on so well with her as he just likes to get on and do things and doesn't mind if it's not 100% correct, as long as it's basically right. So he has lessons with someone else now, who's more in tune with his thinking.

Don't give up on the basis of what these instructors have said having seen you ride during one lesson
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Can I clarify something? You've had lessons with one insturctor for months and have now been told by two different instructors that at the moment they don't feel you're up to going to do BE80,and they have told what you're doing wrong and how to improve? Am I right in thinking that you're not annoyed with them (although you don't like their assessment) but with the original instructor? And that of the two new instructors, you weren't so keen on one, but you're happy with the other?

If that is the case, I'd stick with the one you like, and work out a proper improvement programme with her. It doesn't sound like you've been told you'll never do it, just that it would be counter-productive in the long term to do it at the moment.

You could spend the money you save on entries on regular lessons, set a goal to do one late this year or early next year and really work hard to get there and do yourself justice. I find that I am always much more motivated to work towards something specific than just improve for the sake of it!

Good luck and chin up (literally if you're anything like me, my nodding head is my downfall when it comes to jumping!)
 
There's a vast difference in how instructors teach - and different instructors get more out of different pupils, and work better with different abilities. Certainly noticed it! Daughter has ridden at 3 riding schools total of about 10 different instructors + private instructor over 6 years, so we've some favourites and some not so favourite instructors!
I would say that if you feel you've not progressed in the last 9 months then that instructor isn't right for you.
I would maybe go back to the 2 you had lessons with and ask them what they think you should be working on to improve and how quickly they can progress you to competent enough to be show-jumping in a BE80(T) class. Did your last instructor give you 'homework' to be practising between lessons? T's private instructor (who is very very good) usually gives her a few little things to work on and practise till we see her next.
Another thing to consider would be to go on an intensive course - am sure someone will have a recommendation. I do notice if daughter or her friends have been riding several times on a pony day or days then there's a noticable improvement.
Anyhow who am I to talk, like Trundle my riding when I was at school was cheapest - self-funded - so hardly had any proper lessons it was mostly helping at RS and jump on to fill a space in a lesson, or hacking which probably explains why I'm so useless now I've finally got on again 25 years later.
 
It sounds to me like you need to go with a new instructor. Sometimes we just 'grow out' of an instructors capabilities - just because they have achieved themselves it does not necessarily make them the best instructor. A half decent instructor recognises their limitations and should encourage you to move on to the next level - even if it means with some one else.

I used to swim in the GB team and the best coaches were those who pushed you and moved you on to those who could take you further. Get yourself an new RI that is going to help you achieve your ambitions. Good luck
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Can I clarify something? You've had lessons with one insturctor for months and have now been told by two different instructors that at the moment they don't feel you're up to going to do BE80,and they have told what you're doing wrong and how to improve? Am I right in thinking that you're not annoyed with them (although you don't like their assessment) but with the original instructor? And that of the two new instructors, you weren't so keen on one, but you're happy with the other?

If that is the case, I'd stick with the one you like, and work out a proper improvement programme with her. It doesn't sound like you've been told you'll never do it, just that it would be counter-productive in the long term to do it at the moment.

You could spend the money you save on entries on regular lessons, set a goal to do one late this year or early next year and really work hard to get there and do yourself justice. I find that I am always much more motivated to work towards something specific than just improve for the sake of it!

Good luck and chin up (literally if you're anything like me, my nodding head is my downfall when it comes to jumping!)

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Annagain that is a very clear synopsis of what I have been blathering on about
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I have given myself a metaphorical slap and had just decided that I would do exactly as you suggest - then I read your post
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Perhaps I will keep this pinned to my fridge for future reference
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In a strange way it's focused my mind on choosing a BE 80 next year and working towards it as well. I've been toying with the idea for a while but not doing anything about it and it wasn't until reading my advice to you that I realised that I will only manage to improve by the necessary amount by really focusing on it and working towards it.

Our downfalls are the flat work rather than the jumping, and his nappiness at competitions. I'm not sure he'll ever get over that but I've got to stop using it as an excuse for not trying. He's lame at the moment, so I'm being realistic in going for one for next year rather than rushing it once he's sound again. Thankyou, maybe we should compare notes!
 
You ride well. I thought you did everything you could when I saw you at Summerhouse.
The key thing is that you've hit a wall with your current thinking/instructor and are prepared to try new approaches.
You shouldn't take it too much to heart, many trainers really aren't great at managing your morale and motivation, sounds like, even though they may have a point these latest two could be more tactful.
 
What's your horse like? Is he capable of eventing without a pro carrying him round? I think often the horses amateurs come across have lots of little limitations which make them, if not incapable, reluctant to just help with the job. Has your horse had some eventing experience, or are you trying to teach him and progress yourself?

I think you'll get there, but IMO you need a the kind of teacher who's more focused on effectiveness and the competitive goal than trying to get everything perfect first. FWIW I've seen the pics of you and you look a nice rider, and unless the pony isn't wanting to play the game I can't see why you couldn't manage intro eventing.
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Splotchy when I eventually got my horse to advanced level (dressage) a judge that had been judging me for many years came up to me and said how well I had done for a rider with no natural talent!!!

I know this sounds like a terrible thing to say to anyone but she was right and she meant it in the right way, I had no natural talent as a rider (not meaning this to sound like you dont as dont know you) but what I did have was determination, dedication, and a will to succeed, I worked incredibly hard at it got the right help and surrounded myself with people that would encourage and support me and not critisize and put me down.

Keep going find a trainer that you like and trust and I am sure that if you really want to do it you will do it.

Good luck.
 
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You ride well. I thought you did everything you could when I saw you at Summerhouse.
The key thing is that you've hit a wall with your current thinking/instructor and are prepared to try new approaches.
You shouldn't take it too much to heart, many trainers really aren't great at managing your morale and motivation, sounds like, even though they may have a point these latest two could be more tactful.

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Thank you so much Siennamum, that has made me feel a whole lot better
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I am very bad at taking things to heart, but now I have managed to get a sense of perspective I am feeling a lot better tonight
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What's your horse like? Is he capable of eventing without a pro carrying him round? I think often the horses amateurs come across have lots of little limitations which make them, if not incapable, reluctant to just help with the job. Has your horse had some eventing experience, or are you trying to teach him and progress yourself?

I think you'll get there, but IMO you need a the kind of teacher who's more focused on effectiveness and the competitive goal than trying to get everything perfect first. FWIW I've seen the pics of you and you look a nice rider, and unless the pony isn't wanting to play the game I can't see why you couldn't manage intro eventing.
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There lies the heart of our problem Flame - Bob is a 10 year old with the mind of a 5 year old, he hasnt really done much in his lifetime
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Add that to a rider who isnt particularly good like me, and that is how we have got ourselves into the position we are now
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But he is sweet, and genuine, and he (and I) want it to work, so I have to accept that patience is the name of the game! Once it all comes together then I know he will be exactly what I want - a cracking little Intro/PN eventer, and we will go and have fun together. I am just trying to get that straight away, wanting too much too soon
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But if I am SENSIBLE (doesnt happen often
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) I know it will happen, just not NOW like I want it to
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Splotchy when I eventually got my horse to advanced level (dressage) a judge that had been judging me for many years came up to me and said how well I had done for a rider with no natural talent!!!

I know this sounds like a terrible thing to say to anyone but she was right and she meant it in the right way, I had no natural talent as a rider (not meaning this to sound like you dont as dont know you) but what I did have was determination, dedication, and a will to succeed, I worked incredibly hard at it got the right help and surrounded myself with people that would encourage and support me and not critisize and put me down.

Keep going find a trainer that you like and trust and I am sure that if you really want to do it you will do it.

Good luck.

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Thank you CoachinaCar
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Owning Bob has made me realise that I have been coasting along for quite a few years expecting the horse to do it all with me not really putting much into it... I have always had lots of lessons, but not really been serious about practising by myself? But Bob is here to stay, so I really know it has to work, so practice is necessary
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