Are we really that wrong?

[Gerry-Boy]

Bit of a long story but I'm at a loss and totally don't trust myself anymore.

We bought the Boy in October as a nice and easy going leisure ride. Newbies we were/are we got him from a dodgy dealer, the horse was a mess, unhealed injury and months of neglect.
He was a nightmare to handle back then, huge abandonment issues, we had to bring at least one other horse out at all times.

We got his health issues fixed and he's had a lot of time to heal.

I was scared to ride him (confidence issues, he's chucked me off once, way too much horse for me) so we found him a lovely rider. She's only 16 but very very good with him, so understanding and she's worked incredibly hard to get him back to being a horse.
We do trust her and, more importantly, the Boy trusts her. She's done lots of ground work in the beginning, establishing a bond, then went on to riding him, now jumping. He's showing so much promise, loves jumping and is most of the time, a lovely lovely horse.

And then it went all bad about a month ago. We took him to his first Clear Round, he loaded with no problems and behaved impeccably at the venue. He clearly was enjoying himself very much. It was a very low key event, just at the local riding club, we thought it'd be great to see how he does. It became clear he'd been evented in his previous home.

A week later we took him again, he loaded ok at home, was a bit reluctant first but then went on the trailer.
Same venue, he was again very very good and enjoyed himself very much.

When we wanted to go back home he refused to go on the trailer. It took us 3 hours and a trip home to fetch another horse until he would finally go on the trailer.

We're not sure why he wouldn't load, we've got a camera in the trailer and he was enjoying the ride. Happy ears, looked out of the window, nibbled his hay, wasn't sweaty/excited when unloaded.

He had a few days off in the field and then his loaner came out to try and work on the loading issues.
He very strongly refused, there was no way he was going to get on that trailer, not even with another horse on there.
This was the first time he's reared up. Ever.

Ok, so back in the field, think of a plan B.
Over the next few days we gave him lots of time to process, worked with him to come out to the yard to see there's nothing bad there, got him to come out reluctantly and then quite happily.
The girl rode him last Wednesday and he was his usual lovely self. He was alone in the arena with no issues.

On the Thursday our yard help, without my permission, decided to take him out of the field to exercise him. He refused to come, her story is that he reared up and hit her on the head.
I do believe she provoked him as I know she used to slap him with the leadrope when he wouldn't come.

But that's not important, it's very very bad and a horrible thing and we're utterly shocked. Luckily the yard help "only" needed stitches on her head and was otherwise fine. I don't want to imagine what could have happened!!!

Anyway, we are now being pressured to put him down as he's uncontrollable and a liability. Our riding instructor emailed me yesterday to say either I put him down/re-home him immediately or she won't come out to teach us anymore

I know we have a huge problem - but am I really so wrong in wanting to give this horse another chance? We've spoken with the girl who loans him and her mum and both are happy for her to continue working with him (which at the moment is only picking poo in the field he's in). We've made it a rule that there always has to be an adult present and that she is to wear a hat at all times.

I just don't know what to think anymore, yes, I know we have a massive problem that needs fixing immediately. I'd rather have him gone today than tomorrow but he's an ex racer TB with issues - who's going to take a horse like that? Unless another dodgy dealer :|
But putting him down?

I'd be really grateful for your opinions - sorry for the long post :| We're not too experienced with horses (I've had horses for around 6 years and my husband for about 3 years, they were at a livery yard though) we've never intended to get a "nutter" like that, we trusted the wrong people and ended up with one and then decided to do the responsible thing and fix him up and give him a chance.

Thank you

 

[Crugeran Celt]

If you are happy to keep him and the rider is confident to handle him and he is happy with her then just keep doing what you are doing. I think the horse is making it clear that competition is something he doesn't want to do any more so I wouldn't even try that. As to him rearing up and hurting someone, it happens, he's a horse. Many years ago I went to bring my elderley mare in, had her for over 20 years, she had never reared but she didn't want to come in that day and reared up and kicked me in the face, knocked me out cold. Ended up with smashed nose and two black eyes. She had made it clear before rearing that she really didn't want to come in but I kept on at her so it was her only way to make it clear she wasn't happy and I suspect your horse had run out of ways to express himself before rearing and hurting anyone. Too many people think horses are machines that have to obey your every command when in reality we really need to communicate better with them to get better results from our relationship with them. Good luck with him.

 

[blitznbobs]

So he rears once and won't load and now people want you to put him down? Really that's all he's done? Sounds strange to me

 

[Gerry-Boy]

If you are happy to keep him and the rider is confident to handle him and he is happy with her then just keep doing what you are doing. I think the horse is making it clear that competition is something he doesn't want to do any more so I wouldn't even try that. As to him rearing up and hurting someone, it happens, he's a horse. Many years ago I went to bring my elderley mare in, had her for over 20 years, she had never reared but she didn't want to come in that day and reared up and kicked me in the face, knocked me out cold. Ended up with smashed nose and two black eyes. She had made it clear before rearing that she really didn't want to come in but I kept on at her so it was her only way to make it clear she wasn't happy and I suspect your horse had run out of ways to express himself before rearing and hurting anyone. Too many people think horses are machines that have to obey your every command when in reality we really need to communicate better with them to get better results from our relationship with them. Good luck with him.

Thank you so much for your reply, I'm just at a loss of what to do. Our instructor is very experienced, I am not so part of me thinks that she knows better. But then there's me going into the field and seeing the Boy, clearly not happy at the moment, still loving a cuddle and the girl who loans him clearly in love with him. I can't just give up on him :|

The yard help was old school and he's never liked her, the girl who loans him said she could always tell when the help handled him as he was head shy and twitchy.

 

[sarahann1]

It'll cost in the region of £300 to put him down, it'll cost around the same to have someone like Richard Maxwell come out and assess, I know where I'd spend my money.

Good luck getting it all sorted one way or another.

 

[Gerry-Boy]

So he rears once and won't load and now people want you to put him down? Really that's all he's done? Sounds strange to me

Well, he's reared up twice, once when they were practicing the loading and then a week later when the yard help tried to get him out of the field.
I think he's now figured out that rearing up is a good way for him to get out of things - and obviously I'm very worried about the girl who loans him!

He's a horse with issues, there's no doubt about that. We know nothing from his past, as I said we were lied to, the passport I was shown when I saw him the first time wasn't his, he didn't even have a microchip.

He's got this thing where he gets himself into a state and then completely shuts down and goes crazy. It hasn't happened in a very long time, he used to do it quite a bit in the beginning.
We asked our instructor in December (I think) to work with him. We were doing natural horsemanship and I was hoping that she'd find a way to communicate with him). Unfortunately it didn't go well, the other two horses were out in the field and started to canter around and the Boy totally lost the plot. That's when she first decided he needed to be put down as he was dangerous.

A month later or so we found the girl who loans him and she's started working with him and within a few months he was a different horse.

Funnily enough the girl joined a lesson with us a few weeks ago and the instructor commented on the amazing bond the Boy and the girl have... And now she says she's just a child that doesn't know a thing, he's a liability and we're idiots to give him another chance

 

[Pinkvboots]

I agree with the others his only reared once and won't load can't see why you should have him pts any horse is capable of doing the same, it's not a cheap option but how bout getting some help from Michael Peace or Richard Maxwell both have success at loading issues and can help with handling him on the ground, I would also have the trailer checked and make sure there is nothing wrong there, like tyre pressure the floor any strange noises things like that can make some horses reluctant to travel.

 

[ihatework]

Given you have referred to the horse as 'crazy' and 'nutter' in other posts I'd imagine there must be some basis for your instructors reaction. I'd also evaluate very carefully any liability for a teenager who is riding a tricky horse you own. Ex racers can come with a whole heap of issues. Perhaps it might be worth considering if he would be better off retired?

Any as for the 'un' helpful yard hand - let's hope it knocked some sense into her. I'd be livid if anyone helped themselves to one of my horses.

 

[sarahann1]

I have a friend who was told to either sell or put down her horse as he was in the words of a 'very experienced instructor' 'unmanageable and dangerous' they're now doing brilliantly at Team Quest dressage and pop round XC courses no bother.

Getting the right help can make all the difference.

Worth also bearing in mind; Natural Horsemanship done wrong can be incredibly damaging to a horse both physically and mentally.

 

[JulesRules]

Firstly, I think you are great for being so patient with a tricky horse. Many people would have passed him on or sent him back. Lucky horse he sounds like he landed on his feet and he doesn't sound too bad. Sounds like he is making real progress.

I think you should find yourselves a new instructor as it sounds like your current one has had one side of the story and made a snap judgement. Maybe look for someone who is a bit more sensitive to a horses body language and behaviour rather than a more traditional instructor. Maybe someone on here can suggest someone?

My horse can be tricky to load. I used to have a trailer and although she travelled fine she hated it and would rear to avoid going on. I now have a lorry and she goes on fine and is otherwise a dope on a rope. She just didn't like that trailer. I would do all the usual checks on your trailer - floor, tyre pressures, service etc. What type of trailer is it? How solid is it? It it big enough for rhe horse? Have you tried a lorry? Can you try a lorry?

There is also the consideration of what your yard help was doing messing with your horse without permission or agreement. I'm not sure if this is someone who works on a livery yard where you are stabled, or if this is someone you employed to do jobs. Either way I would probably be dispensing with their services if I'm honest.

I'm not saying it's okay for a horse to rear but he's clearly only done it when he's felt under pressure and to tell you when he really isn't happy with a situation.

I

 

[merlinsquest]

I had a pony once, she was difficult, nappy & ran away with me & frightened me. My regular trainer kept on that I was more talented than the pony, that I could be competing at PSG by now, but that was her dream not mine. My show jumping coach with regular help & endless patience turned it all around, yes at times I was nervous if her. But suddenly I could ride her & we were consistently placed eventing, jumping & dressage until she retired to the field with an injury. Sometimes it's just a case of being true to yourself & having the right help. Good luck!

 

[Goldenstar]

Well if he where here there's no way I would put him down at this stage but it's very difficult to keep a horse who has damaged a member of staff in a livery type situation if that's how your keeping him.
What's key is the yard owners view you need to have a face to face serious talk about what happened why on earth did 'yard help ' decided off their own bat to exercise an owners horse this makes no sense to me at all what was going on .
You do have an insurance issue so does the yard owner the horse who is known to unpredictable has damaged a member of staff that needs to be micro managed going forward .
I would recommend you make notes now date them and sign them about the incident and include clearly the member of staff was handling the horse without your permission however like I said it's hard to own a horse like that in a situation where many people are about .
The yard owner is the person you need to talk with first on the trainer just swop to another .

 

[scats]

So someone, without your permission, goes to remove your horse from the field to exercise him and he rears on her (although I assume there are no other witnesses to what may have caused this reaction?) and now you are being pressured to put him down because he has also reared being loaded??

I do hope this person was reprimanded for trying to do something with your horse without permission. I would be removing him from this yard if this yard help will be handling him! As for putting him down, I think your loaner has taken a difficult horse and turned it around, nothing in your post makes me think this horse is dangerous and needs to be destroyed.
Loading is easy to sort with the right help.

 

[Gerry-Boy]

Given you have referred to the horse as 'crazy' and 'nutter' in other posts I'd imagine there must be some basis for your instructors reaction. I'd also evaluate very carefully any liability for a teenager who is riding a tricky horse you own. Ex racers can come with a whole heap of issues. Perhaps it might be worth considering if he would be better off retired?

Any as for the 'un' helpful yard hand - let's hope it knocked some sense into her. I'd be livid if anyone helped themselves to one of my horses.

And that's exactly the other side of things and why I'm so worried to make the wrong decision. I couldn't forgive myself if something like this were to happen again. If he hurts somebody else.

I know he's got issues and he's got generally not a lot of respect for people and doesn't deal well with authority. With him it's more a trust thing, he trusts the girl and respects her for trusting him. I know that sounds stupid, I can't really explain it. She's not once used a whip or any force on him. When he's naughty she uses her voice and tells him off very firmly. Never shouts at him, always very calm but consequent. And he's responding so well to that.

For me he's way too much horse - and he knows it. It's very rare he will come out of the field with me leading him, he's happier with being led by my husband. I'm generally the one who gives him cuddles (he's such a softy, often falls asleep in my arms when I cuddle him), but I don't work with him.

With regards to the yard help, she used to work him a little before we found the girl but I was quite clear that I wanted the girl to handle him, there was only one occasion in the past months where I asked her if she could lunge him. She knew about the issues we've had with him (Facebook....) and decided to take him out without checking with me.

Again, I know that's no excuse for him, he shouldn't have reared up!

 

[tallyho!]

I can't believe your trainer has said that!! totally not her place... find another more sympathetic one that can actually help you through this - I mean suggesting you sell this "dangerous horse" is a big ding of the alarm bell.... terrible suggestion.

I too would move yards if possible. The situation there may be untenable now that the yard help has had this injury... you were making great progress until then.

I have been there with trailering issues... you just have to persevere I'm afraid or get a professional (a kind professional!) to help you there.

Good luck, I wouldn't give up yet

 

[teddypops]

So someone, without your permission, goes to remove your horse from the field to exercise him and he rears on her (although I assume there are no other witnesses to what may have caused this reaction?) and now you are being pressured to put him down because he has also reared being loaded??

I do hope this person was reprimanded for trying to do something with your horse without permission. I would be removing him from this yard if this yard help will be handling him! As for putting him down, I think your loaner has taken a difficult horse and turned it around, nothing in your post makes me think this horse is dangerous and needs to be destroyed.
Loading is easy to sort with the right help.

I agree with this but I don't like the sound of your instructor! It is not their place to tell you what to do with your horse. They don't have to come and teach you if they don't want but nothing else!

 

[Gerry-Boy]

So someone, without your permission, goes to remove your horse from the field to exercise him and he rears on her (although I assume there are no other witnesses to what may have caused this reaction?) and now you are being pressured to put him down because he has also reared being loaded??

I do hope this person was reprimanded for trying to do something with your horse without permission. I would be removing him from this yard if this yard help will be handling him! As for putting him down, I think your loaner has taken a difficult horse and turned it around, nothing in your post makes me think this horse is dangerous and needs to be destroyed.
Loading is easy to sort with the right help.

Thank you so much, scats! We keep the horses at home so luckily we are in a position to pick the people we want around our horses - and the yard help will no longer be required - she's sort of quit the day it happened anyway and hasn't turned up since (understandably). We've terminated the arrangement we had with her.

 

[Annagain]

Do the yard help and instructor know each other? I wonder if there are two different versions of the story being told - the yard help is trying to save face so has exaggerated his behaviour? It sounds to me like you're doing all you can to help him and I wouldn't give up on him just yet.

I wonder if there's a physical reason behind this rearing though. If it started with the trailer, maybe he was anticipating the journey, and having to balance etc hurting. Generally, I find if horse are going to be a pain to load, it's on the way out, rather than the way home (although not every time I know) Then you've tried to load him again, when he's said no in no uncertain terms. I would maybe get him checked by a vet first and then enlist a specialist. I can recommend someone excellent if you're not too far from South Wales.

 

[Gerry-Boy]

Firstly, I think you are great for being so patient with a tricky horse. Many people would have passed him on or sent him back. Lucky horse he sounds like he landed on his feet and he doesn't sound too bad. Sounds like he is making real progress.

I think you should find yourselves a new instructor as it sounds like your current one has had one side of the story and made a snap judgement. Maybe look for someone who is a bit more sensitive to a horses body language and behaviour rather than a more traditional instructor. Maybe someone on here can suggest someone?

My horse can be tricky to load. I used to have a trailer and although she travelled fine she hated it and would rear to avoid going on. I now have a lorry and she goes on fine and is otherwise a dope on a rope. She just didn't like that trailer. I would do all the usual checks on your trailer - floor, tyre pressures, service etc. What type of trailer is it? How solid is it? It it big enough for rhe horse? Have you tried a lorry? Can you try a lorry?

There is also the consideration of what your yard help was doing messing with your horse without permission or agreement. I'm not sure if this is someone who works on a livery yard where you are stabled, or if this is someone you employed to do jobs. Either way I would probably be dispensing with their services if I'm honest.

I'm not saying it's okay for a horse to rear but he's clearly only done it when he's felt under pressure and to tell you when he really isn't happy with a situation.

I

Thank you for your kind words. To be honest I didn't do anything with him, just fixed him up physically and then found him a rider to work with him. The credit really should go to the girl who's put all the work in!

The instructor's basically quit on us yesterday, we feel utterly betrayed by her and, even if she were to come around, wouldn't want to work with her anymore. Trust is gone, she's not even given us a chance to tell our side of the story.

The Boy hasn't actually had many lessons, only one with our instructor and then the girl had another instructor out for another lesson. It was mainly just the two of them working together.

It's a bit more complicated with the yard help, according to the agreement we have with her she's been hired to do the poo picking and, occasionally exercise the horses. So it was within her rights to take him out. I would, however, have expected her to let me know and check with me that that's ok, she's known about the recent problems we've had and shouldn't just have taken him out.

We'll be looking for a new instructor now, I've previously worked with Nick Dutton and really liked him. I'm hoping he's free to come out.

Re the trailer: It's an Equi-Trek trailer, it's brand new so not really an option to part with it. It's definitely big enough as it was mainly bought for my heavy cob and my husband's Shire/Clydesdale cross
We don't have a lorry, no.

We're keeping the horses at home so only the one trailer.

 

[maree t]

We had a horse that learnt to rear to avoid anything he doesnt want to do . Its like a temper type thing , he only started doing it when he had settled in and learnt to trust us . I couldnt get richard maxwell , he was too busy so I looked up our nearest Intelligent horsemanship person who duly came out and worked with us for an hour and a half . Best money we ever spent . He will still pop a rear in when pushed out of his comfort zone but that is very rare now .

 

[Gerry-Boy]

Well if he where here there's no way I would put him down at this stage but it's very difficult to keep a horse who has damaged a member of staff in a livery type situation if that's how your keeping him.
What's key is the yard owners view you need to have a face to face serious talk about what happened why on earth did 'yard help ' decided off their own bat to exercise an owners horse this makes no sense to me at all what was going on .
You do have an insurance issue so does the yard owner the horse who is known to unpredictable has damaged a member of staff that needs to be micro managed going forward .
I would recommend you make notes now date them and sign them about the incident and include clearly the member of staff was handling the horse without your permission however like I said it's hard to own a horse like that in a situation where many people are about .
The yard owner is the person you need to talk with first on the trainer just swop to another .

We're keeping our horses at home, we are the owners We've only got the yard help around (well, not anymore now) an the girl who works with him.

 

[zaminda]

I was given a horse in March, who is a known rearer. I have known the horse for 3 years, and have always said she wasn't suitable for the people, but we had finally made a lot of progress, and they did get out competing last summer. They took her to school, and the rearing started up again after a few weeks. I wasn't surprised. She was ok with me when she came home, but not the girls she was intended for. She spent 5 weeks with a behaviourist, and they then decided to give up and shoot her. At this point I took her on. I will say there have been times over the years I would have happily shot her myself, and would say she was seriously dangerous. I now have a much better understanding of how she ticks, and we are rubbing along fine, and will be out competing again before long.
What i'm trying to say is sometimes you need to step back and re evaluate the situation. I would find a different instructor, where are you based, someone may be able to recommend someone. If the girl is happy to keep working with the horse, then I would say it hasn't done anything that bad which would warrant being put down. I would also say the loading thing can be worked on. I'm probably an optimist, but my mare has made me see things so differently.

 

[Gerry-Boy]

Do the yard help and instructor know each other? I wonder if there are two different versions of the story being told - the yard help is trying to save face so has exaggerated his behaviour? It sounds to me like you're doing all you can to help him and I wouldn't give up on him just yet.

I wonder if there's a physical reason behind this rearing though. If it started with the trailer, maybe he was anticipating the journey, and having to balance etc hurting. Generally, I find if horse are going to be a pain to load, it's on the way out, rather than the way home (although not every time I know) Then you've tried to load him again, when he's said no in no uncertain terms. I would maybe get him checked by a vet first and then enlist a specialist. I can recommend someone excellent if you're not too far from South Wales.

Thank you.

The (ex-) yard help and the (ex-) instructor are friends on Facebook so I'm sure the yard help messaged her version of what happened.

I need to get him to come out happily to the yard again but I'll have him checked out again, thank you. It's a shame you're so far away, we're in Warwickshire.

 

[Gerry-Boy]

We had a horse that learnt to rear to avoid anything he doesnt want to do . Its like a temper type thing , he only started doing it when he had settled in and learnt to trust us . I couldnt get richard maxwell , he was too busy so I looked up our nearest Intelligent horsemanship person who duly came out and worked with us for an hour and a half . Best money we ever spent . He will still pop a rear in when pushed out of his comfort zone but that is very rare now .

Thank you, unfortunately there's nobody on the IH webiste listed in our area, the nearest is almost 2 hours away and I'm doubtful they'd make the journey. We're trying to get a behaviourist to look at him.

 

[Gerry-Boy]

I was given a horse in March, who is a known rearer. I have known the horse for 3 years, and have always said she wasn't suitable for the people, but we had finally made a lot of progress, and they did get out competing last summer. They took her to school, and the rearing started up again after a few weeks. I wasn't surprised. She was ok with me when she came home, but not the girls she was intended for. She spent 5 weeks with a behaviourist, and they then decided to give up and shoot her. At this point I took her on. I will say there have been times over the years I would have happily shot her myself, and would say she was seriously dangerous. I now have a much better understanding of how she ticks, and we are rubbing along fine, and will be out competing again before long.
What i'm trying to say is sometimes you need to step back and re evaluate the situation. I would find a different instructor, where are you based, someone may be able to recommend someone. If the girl is happy to keep working with the horse, then I would say it hasn't done anything that bad which would warrant being put down. I would also say the loading thing can be worked on. I'm probably an optimist, but my mare has made me see things so differently.

Thank you! That gives me real hope!!

We're based in Warwickshire - if anybody knows someone, whether that's an instructor or a behaviourist please let me know!

 

[Annagain]

Thank you.

The (ex-) yard help and the (ex-) instructor are friends on Facebook so I'm sure the yard help messaged her version of what happened.

I need to get him to come out happily to the yard again but I'll have him checked out again, thank you. It's a shame you're so far away, we're in Warwickshire.

In that case I don't think Richard Maxwell is too far from you, I think he's in Oxfordshire if I'm not mistaken?

ETA - I was wrong it's Michael Peace who's in Oxfordshire. Might be worth contacting him.

 

[JulesRules]

If you are in Warwickshire I would recommend trying Vickie Jayne Yates.

She calls what she does 'inspirational horsemanship'. I don't buy into all of the reiki and communication type stuff but she is really sensitive and sympathetic with horses like yours and can help with groundwork, loading and ridden.

She is mad as a box of frogs (sorry Vicki if you are reading this) but also really lovely and gets results.

She is on facebook and has a website if you Google her.

 

[Red-1]

I am glad the yard help has gone, if you have seen her be rough then I can only imagine that the behaviour when she was alone was worse.

As far as the instructor goes, I feel he/she has not really given you enough information to make a decision on. If they are good (with horses) then they may well have seen that the horse has an issue, maybe pain related, but they have not communicated this to you. I would try a conversation with them asking for what they think with evidence. Having said that, with a statement to the degree of PTS or I'm not coming back is not, IMO the most communicative, so you may not glean much more information. But, there may be information that he/she thinks you won't want to listen to, so I would ask the question and listen with an open mind.

Evidence of not loading could be because of pain again, especially for the way home. If there is an arthritis or muscle injury the travelling could actually hurt.

I would also get the services of an 'expert' as not only may they have some revelations for you, but even if not they mitigate against the risk of the young helper having a case against you if she were to be injured, if they say the horse is within a normal range of reactions.

Lastly though, I would evaluate how much fun you are really having with this horse. I would not be happy with a horse that I did not feel confident to lead in from the field after a long period of ownership. It is lovely for you to work with this horse and rider, as long as it gives you pleasure to do so.

If it does not give you pleasure then there is nothing wrong with maybe having the horse assessed professionally with either a view to a sales livery if deemed workable, or PTS if not deemed workable.

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

The instructor sounds useless, and perhaps jealous that someone else (the 16yr old) has had success where they haven't, so I don't think you've lost anything much there. The yard helper is nop loss either. No need to PTS at this stage, you're happily looking after the horse, the girl/her mum is happily and successfully training the horse, the only real problems appear to be the 2 people who have now left. I'd suspect either competing or travelling is the problem with the horse, you could if you wanted to try to rule either out by doing only one at a time. Eg hack to a horse show or travel somewhere but don't go anywhere/unload just drive a circular route and come home.

 

[9tails]

We asked our instructor in December (I think) to work with him. We were doing natural horsemanship and I was hoping that she'd find a way to communicate with him). Unfortunately it didn't go well, the other two horses were out in the field and started to canter around and the Boy totally lost the plot. That's when she first decided he needed to be put down as he was dangerous.

A month later or so we found the girl who loans him and she's started working with him and within a few months he was a different horse.

Funnily enough the girl joined a lesson with us a few weeks ago and the instructor commented on the amazing bond the Boy and the girl have... And now she says she's just a child that doesn't know a thing, he's a liability and we're idiots to give him another chance

Get another instructor, there is no room for ego or jealousy in training a horse. Anyway, who is she going to teach if you get rid of/put down the horse?