Are you addicted to horses ?

confusedmum

confusedmum

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Any one else out there this morning wallowing in self pity like me

Just been told i have to stop riding and i am devastated, I have had 3 spinal fusions to my neck in the past and started show jumping again at the ripe age of 57 last year i had such an amazing time ! I have an awesome experienced horse that i just clicked with and we were away and were beating ( well he was ! ) all the youngsters

Then everything went wrong my neck got a lot worse and an mri has just revealed pressure on the spinal cord and i am looking at more surgery and have been strongly advised not to even hack out due to the impact on the vertebrae

I know i should be really grateful that i am still mobile I have just finished reading Claire Lomas's book which makes me feel very ashamed of myself
Then the gremlins get in my head and i start thinking i cant stop riding, I am being such a cow i am irritable stressed and grumpy and i know if i went for a hack i would be a different person
If i was reading this i would be disgusted and say thank your lucky stars you have done what you have and pull yourself together woman its not the end off the world which it isnt but i have ridden all my life and just cant imagine stopping
told you i was wallowing !! sorry anyway like to know if there are any recovering horse addicts
out there and how did you cope ?
 
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I don't think you are wallowing at all, being told that you can no longer do the thing that you love the most IS devastating, I feel so sorry for you.

I wouldn't give up hope altogether, will more surgery fix it enough to hack? Could you drive instead or get a saddle chariot, a friend has one and says they're loads of fun. I know it's not the same as riding though.

Really sorry.
 
I am so sorry to hear of your situation, and can understand your devastation at not being able to ride again. As you say though, at least you are lucky enough to still have your movement, so focus on that positive amongst the frustration and sadness.

I think you need to give yourself time to grieve. Seriously. To lose what is probably your escape and has been a huge part of your life, it is no surprise you are going through a roller coaster of emotions. Our hobbies and passions make us who we are, and so to have that taken away, or at least limited, I think it is understandable that you are reeling at the Doctors thoughts. The one thing you shouldn't be feeling though is shame!

I know that it is not the same as riding, but is there anyway that you can still get a horsey fix (safely), by caring for them, helping out with friends horses on the ground like grooming, being company to shows etc? Or alternatively could you volunteer at a local riding school, or even RDA centre or horse charity? What have the doctors said about riding again after surgery?

I'm not a recovering horse addict, but I can only imagine a fraction of how I would feel if I had the same news as you. Stop beating yourself up and allow yourself time to adjust and accept the situation. Most of all look after yourself. x
 
I think you are allowed to have a wallow in self pity...go up a hill and rage at the universe cos its unfair and then listen to those experts because you do not want to damage yourself irrepairably...have you read Melanie Reids column in The Times Magazine on Saturdays..it is sober reading. I think you have so much to be proud of and could probably offer so much to the horsey world..but from the ground. If you were my mum/my sister I would want you to stay as mobile and undamaged as you can. Have the surgery and revise things from there ..my sincere thoughts are with you.
 
Have the surgery and review things from there. You may find you recover well and can ride again. I would be a right grumpy mare if I could n t ride my horse.It is my stress relief. I also enjoy just being with my horses and caring for them. Could you look at driving,horse agility,even parelli ground work,until things are more resolved .x
 
Yes, I had to give up riding, and I now do other stuff I never had time, or could afford, to do, but I'd rather have my pony. :(
I do educational courses online.
Read books
Go to museums and stuff.
Some travel [museums and stuff not beaches]
Play bridge on line [available 24/7]
Go to talks of interest.
Watch daytime TV.
Main problem is puting on weight [two stone and counting], I am going to have to force myself to stop eating and sitting around every day ... I have joined the gym but not been for a three weeks.
I have ridden on a pony trek ............ talk about unfit, so my target is to get fit enough to do this this once every three months or so, its a lot safer if there is someone there to pick up the pieces if I fall off, but the cobs are pretty reliable. I am going to try a mechanical horse too.
Have just spoken to a good surgeon [long story], and she is confident I am improving, I did not mention horses!
My condition is not potentially life changing, well other than being back on crutches.
 
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I'm sorry to hear your news.

I had to give up about 18 months ago due to onset of MS and to say I'm still devastated is an understatement. Had horses most of my life, almost 40 years now.

Personally, I'm really struggling with it. Not so much the riding, although I do suffer the occasional, ok regular, pang..... It's everything else. Touching them, the smell, morning feeds, the bringing in and chucking out, even poo picking! I miss it all terribly. I'm also at home a lot and am surrounded by fields full of other people's horses. Not that I know anyone here and nor would I dare ask if I could go in the field and have a quick 'equine energy fix'....... :(

I'm really sorry for you. I do hope you manage to keep your hand in..... A life without horses, it seems, is no life at all. Well for me anyway.

Good luck with your surgery.
 
LongInTheTooth said:
I'm sorry to hear your news.

I had to give up about 18 months ago due to onset of MS and to say I'm still devastated is an understatement. Had horses most of my life, almost 40 years now.

Personally, I'm really struggling with it. Not so much the riding, although I do suffer the occasional, ok regular, pang..... It's everything else. Touching them, the smell, morning feeds, the bringing in and chucking out, even poo picking! I miss it all terribly. I'm also at home a lot and am surrounded by fields full of other people's horses. Not that I know anyone here and nor would I dare ask if I could go in the field and have a quick 'equine energy fix'....... :(

I'm really sorry for you. I do hope you manage to keep your hand in..... A life without horses, it seems, is no life at all. Well for me anyway.

Good luck with your surgery.
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Oh please dont feel sorry for me i can do that myself self indulgent wimp that i am, and yes that is what i would miss and i dont think i could just do something else with horses it would be like an alcoholic running a bar i would need to remove myself from all things equine !

That must be so very hard to be surrounded by them and not doing anything with them but i am sure that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone its just that horses are so all consuming there is never time or money to think about anything else

What i need is a rich toy boy then i will have to look after myself physically and might have the energy for something other than a horse ha ha ( slightly hysterical ! ) just think romantic walks expensive holidays, suntans, no mud, no wellies,no one standing on your feet or bashing you with their head for their feed, no feeling sick before you go in the ring

I think we need to start a support group helped by vast amounts of wine food and general debauchery !
xx
 
I had to give up riding due to health issues but I keep my "horse fix" by volunteering for dressage writing, fence judging, helping local Riding Club, Pony Club etc.
I also help a friend with her driving ponies. Perhaps there is someone near you who drives?
 
Sorry to hear your news, you have every right to feel really miffed about it, I know I would be.
What about, when you are all over your op getting some minis and doing some in hand showing, I past a field full of the little blighters who are at a rescue waiting for a new home. That would be like killing two birds with one stone, a horsey fix for the addiction and doing good as well. There is this one blanket spotted mare with a foal at foot.............mmmmmmmmmmm....tempting !
 
Yeah i am. And i can't ride cause im too fat, unfit and frankly a bad nervous rider. Im 27 with no major problems though, so will get back into it. But to be honest, you've had a very good run you should feel proud! If i was you i would get a mini and get driving. I am loving it and it makes me feel like i am still part of the equestrian world, and DOING something - not just playing with barbies.
 
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Sorry to hear your news but driving is a lot of fun, can you still manage the ground work side of things?
And yes, I guess I am because once again I find myself unable to ride, 2 horses currently lame, keeping the vet in business single handedly and running myself ragged after them in this terrible weather. But I couldn't stop. I get twitchy long before a week's holiday ends. Must be some sort of glutton for punishment.
 
How terrible - definately feel your pain. I figure there will come a day when I can no longer ride, so my plan is to buy a pony and cart and go scurrying or something like that. I can't imagine my life without horses (I have tried) and I was just miserable.
 
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