Argghh 2 steps forward 8 steps back....

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Parkranger

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After a great result on Sunday I had a lesson on Oscar tonight and he was a complete idiot. His napping was ridiculous until my instructor got on. To be fair I have a major issue with a horse that rears - Oscar never has, but just the threat of it scares me to death so I know that's making things worse. I don't mind bucking or a bit of sillyness but rearing just scares me.

My issue is, do I just sell him as a jumper/show horse to someone who, like my instructor and sharer, won't take him napping and just school it out of him, or do I try and persevre?

I really don't want to turn him into a rearer when he isn't yet!

I am the queen of overhorsing myself and think that maybe I should just get something that me and OH can ride.

Just makes me feel like a bloody failure!

Sorry, I know I've posted this before, then had a great show and now we're back were we started again!

So frustrating.

Glass of wine for reading!
 
There is no shame in realising that this horse/pony might not be the one for you. Chances are that if you have your ups and downs then he is too. It may be best for both of you to find a new partner. Nearly everyone on this forum must have owned or ridden a horse that was not suited to them. That's not to say that the very next one you ride may be your dream partnership.... It's not that you are a failure.. it's just the chemistry ain't right.
Believe me, when you get it right every day is so much better. You don't have a few good days... you have a few bad days ( not many!)
Go with your instinct.
It is a brave decision to move on sometimes, but it may be the right one. Good luck... x
 
I know exactly where you're coming from with your fear of rearing - I too am the same! I wont ride anything that has a natural instinct to shoot its ears up your nostrils when it spots something it isnt happy with. I had a mare that reared for the sheer hell of it even in a dressage test when everything was going superbly she would just stand up for fun, she nocked my confidence beyond belief I put up with it for 2yrs then sold her. The lady I sold her to knew exactly what she was buying but wanted to breed from her as she was a State Premium Mare with fantastic breeding and paces luckily I made money on her!! My advice is you never find real confidence with a horse that took it away from you in the first place so it is best to part company. Its time to stop looking for flashy looking horses and get yourself a confidence giver that you can have fun on and forget your fears then in a few years when you have grown with your confidence you may be ready to tackle that flashy looking horse once again. I have a superb dressage horse that I have had since a 4yr old - hes now 14 but never once attempted to rear, he used to bronk on a regular basis as a baby and then again as a 7yr old but I have always trusted him to not rear and for this reason it doesn't enter my head unlike my other dressage horse I bought a couple of months ago whom hasn't put a foot wrong but I still don't trust him yet. Good luck
 
Problem is that I seem to fail with EVERY horse I've had since I've come back into riding.

Ty is a sweetheart but he's the reason I have issues with rearing - he reared over with me when jumping. Even though I think it was due to his hocks hurting I just can't get it out of my mind. He's just a typical TB I guess.

Then I had a warmblood on loan that was lovely but quite spooky out hacking, and he went back.

And now Oscar.....maybe I should just give up (seriously) as I can't seem to ride anything anymore!
 
What annoys me is that I'm not a nervy rider - I've fallen off more times in the last 6 months than I can shake a stick at and even when Oscar had a bad reaction to Showmix and bronced me off (my fault, it really didn't agree with him and he's never done it before or since) I just laughed and got back on.

high jinx, snorting, the odd spook, jogging I can deal with but if he's going to scare me when napping and I think he's going to rear then maybe I'll make him worse!
 
Get your instructor to view horses for you first then let her pick a short list. I did this with one of my clients that had similar problems, she always picked horses that moved fantastically but she couldn't ride the paces then they became naughty because she hung on to their mouth for balance. I viewed 7 horses on my own then told her to choose out of 3. I tried everything I could to get a naughty reaction out of them and 3 passed the test, 5 yrs down the line she still owns him and competes at a good level at RC, he's just a lovely ID x with nothing much about him to look at but lovely when tacked up and a saint to ride and handle. They are out there!
 
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What does your instructor think? A very difficult decision to make especially if you do have good days!

Sorry not being much help.

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she thinks he's a lovely horse and has alot of potential but that I need to be more confident - I just don't want to create a bad circle!
 
The other thing she has suggested (which I did with Ty a year ago) was go back to basics - lots of lunging, get him listening to my voice and hacking out in company so that I'm not putting him in or us in any situations we're not happy in.

I guess it's worth a go - she's going to school im for me once a week and compete him for me so that atleast I won't make him worse and if I decide to sell then atleast he would be better in the school and be out jumping.

Frustrating as he is a good horse 99% of the time and it's only when he starts napping that I feel nervy!
 
I personally would sell Oscar and buy a real schoolmaster/confidence giver. Riding is meant to be fun ! I have also overhorsed myself in the past. I bred a lovely Trak X who was too green & sharp for me - she never reared but bounced a bit on her front legs - but only with me which shows that they sense it ! She was fine when been ridden by more confident/experienced riders. After a year of hoping that our relationship would improve I realised that I needed to admit defeat and buy something less showy but easier. What a difference I now own a mare that I am happy to take anywhere on my own & even jump !! Hope you find something that you can enjoy.
 
I posted something very similar to this yesterday, so I know how you're feeling!

It sounds like yours is a nice horse, but possibly not right for you. Mine doesn't have a great deal going for him, sadly, so I doubt I would find a good home for him. If I could, I would probably sell him though it would break my heart. I think you can usually find a good home for a good horse, so you may be able to sell him. Then you could get something a bit more 'made' to do all the fun things on.

Don't feel like a failure - at least you've tried!
 
Hmmmmmmmm I understand your nervy of rearers, to be fair i think 99% of us are, BUT Oscar hasnt ever reared with you hun, you need to get the thought that he will out of your head, or you'll never be confident enough to push him through his napping!

I also dont think you have over horsed yourself...... you havent had Oscar that long and you've moved him so its only natural that he would be a bit unsettled..... and trying it on!

I agree with taking him back to basics, with lunging etc, but I wouldnt only ever hack him out in company as he'll just get used to it and then you might have a worse napping problem when you do try and take him out alone. Also you did so so so so well at the show last weekend, and it is what you wanna do, i would carry on doing what you did last week (no pressure i mean) and not rely on instructor to take him out for you!

lastly you know you dont want an ID or anything, you looked at them the last time, so you'd be just as unhappy with a horse that was safe but that you didnt particilarly like........ you like pretty horses!
grin.gif
 
Thakns for the replies.....

The issue that I have is that i cannot physically move him - once he's decided he's going one way he plants. He is very strong willed and now that he's fit it's even worse.

For some reason he's got 110% worse in the last few weeks - his teeth, back and saddle are fine. He's even started napping in company now.

I just think my confidence is disappearing before my eyes and it's peeing me off now.
 
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