argh what to do...new mummy

noblesteed

noblesteed

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Hi all,
Not really sure what to do at the moment. I have a lovely horse, had him for 4 1/2 years. Had our ups and downs but he is a nice little chap who I love very much. We don't win any prizes but he does what I want which is hack out, bit of jumping and schools well. He is 13, fit and healthy.
So I had a baby 6 months ago after a difficult pregnancy, found someone to part loan and had help from a friend with whom I rent stables. Then horse got laminitis when my baby was 4 weeks old, I fell out with friend over this as it was caused by her negligence - and I feel guilty for not being there. We have since made up and horse is fine but I found it nigh on impossible to get up to the yard 10 miles away twice a day with a young baby. Been arguing with my husband loads about it.
Now I am back at work 3 days a week and struggling to find time for horse, despite the help of my part loaner. I don't have much time to ride as baby needs feeds etc, I can't go to yard early doors due to baby/childminder drop-offs etc. It just doesn't fit together.
I am about to move the horse to a new yard 5 mins from home, it's a small local livery yard (6 horses) where the YO does morning turnouts etc. So I will only have to go up at bring-in time. But it still means no time to ride. And losing my part-loaner as she is 15 and can't drive.
Thought about loaning horse out but he will now always be a lami risk. I even advertised him for sale but not even a single reply.
It seems such a waste of a great horse to have him only ridden a couple of times a week! I hear all these tales of people with poor lame horses and I have a sound healthy one that I can't ride!!!! Any other ideas? Thought about turning him away for winter... but then I will get out of the habit of riding...
 
I find that babies sleep quite nicely parked up next to the school if fed just before you get on - so, groom, tack up etc, then feed baby whilst steed waits patiently on yard, bundle up warm into pram or car seat, park either up by school and fetch hoss... :D

I have a 6mth old and I'm managing to ride a few times a week (could be more but I'm a lazy toad). It can be done, if you really want to - the baby will get used to whatever routine you put them into pretty quickly! :)
 
putasocinit said:
I don't hear the horse complaining about not being ridden.

Why is it as soon as owners have babies the horses get in the way?
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Have you ever had a child, I don't think it's a case of the horse getting in the way it's just hard work at times & OP is clearly finding it all a bit much & is trying to find a way for it to work.

I am sure he won't mind being only ridden a couple of times a week especially as we are going into winter. Have you considered advertising for another share when you move to the new yard? Lets us know what happens :)
 
Could you try and get another sharer, if money isnt an issue you could try and get a resposible teenager that would maybe mind the baby at the stables for half hour while you have a ride and exchange give them some free rides??
 
Don't you need your pony to keep you sane, lol ?? He will be absolutely fine if not ridden for the winter - or maybe as said above, with baby parked by the field or something ? Pony will think it's a fantastic holiday of he's not ridden mind you x
 
On the other end of the spectrum i sold my horse when i was pregnant as i always said baby would come first and that wasnt fair on the horse - worked well all round, pony found fab new home and has great fun, i still see / hear from her. I had 3 years off horses and got back into it a year ago :)

I dont regret my decisions
 
Agree with aprilblossom - it can be done! Be patient and wait until baby is nicely asleep, then you should have long enough. Otherwise, I pay a girl at the yard to take mine for a little pushchair walk for me for an hour, could you do this?

And really your OH should be able to have the baby for a bit...
 
It is hard - my boys were 15 months apart and I remember thinking the only way to get through was to put my beloved girl out on loan. Somehow I muddled through - time goes so quickly and I lunged/longlined for 15 minutes while boys slept in car outside stable/school or schooled for 20 minutes while whey sat in
corner in pushchair & watched, hacked at weekends when husband was around. Was really hard but worth it - horses really don't mind as long as they ate kept ticking over it's really not the end of the world!! :)
 
whats wrong with only riding a couple of days a week though :confused: If I was still working fulltime Id be lucky to ride twice a week through winter and probably would only manage 3 or 4 times a week in summer due to workload and being knackered. Now Im a Mummy (my baby is almost 5 months) I ride 2-3 times a week and both my horse and I are very happy. Im not back at work so I can only imagine how hard that must be but if the only thing worrying you is not riding so often then you need to give yourself a break.
 
AprilBlossom said:
I find that babies sleep quite nicely parked up next to the school if fed just before you get on - so, groom, tack up etc, then feed baby whilst steed waits patiently on yard, bundle up warm into pram or car seat, park either up by school and fetch hoss... :D

I have a 6mth old and I'm managing to ride a few times a week (could be more but I'm a lazy toad). It can be done, if you really want to - the baby will get used to whatever routine you put them into pretty quickly! :)
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I would have said exactly this after I had my first child. Right up to the age of 3 or 4 he would sit quite happily doing stuff by the side of the school. My second child was completely different though and was crawling at 8 months and couldn't sit still for 2 seconds. Even when he was 7 it was mentioned by a teacher at school that he needed to sit in his seat in class. :rolleyes: So it can be hard depending on the baby.

OP - I'm sure your horse won't mind having the winter off. When I first moved our ponies to have them at home I tried to keep them ticking over during the winter but with no facilities, dark evenings, lack of decent hacking, busy children, grotty weather, etc it was very difficult. The second winter I gave them 2-3 months pretty much off and the relief was wonderful. Just enjoy a little time out with your horse each day, without babe in tow if you can, and don't feel guilty. xx
 
Whilst i have every sympathy with you i have been their on the guilt front & have often thought it wasnt fair to keep horse as i wasnt using her.However without her i would have gone insane!!
I have 3 kids under 3!...!A nearly 3year old & 18 month twins!!... when they were babies it was great as i would time doing the horse with sleep times & my trip over to the yard 10 miles away was a perfect way to get them to sleep.
My 3 yr old now comes out onto the yard with me in a hard hat & helps fill buckets etc whilst the other two sit quite happily in the car whilst i muck out etc.I found the only time i could ride was at weekends when other half home & horse seems fine with this.
Luckily my competion days are over & i dont need to ride for fitness but i was enjoying a few nice hacks at the weekends before she crocked herself & is now out of action! She was quite happy with this although i can imagine not all horses can cope with just been ridden as & when.You will come to the right decision to suit yourself but please dont think having a baby is the end as it can & does work.....especially for my sanity!!!.Good luck.xx
 
don't beat yourself up, your pony wouldn't even mind if only gets ridden for a potter around the block at the weekends for a while. It will get easier but it is very hard to start especially as pre-baby you can do as you like when you like (pretty much) :D

It will get easier I promise!
 
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