ARGHHHH! Knobber-burgers, anyone??

Trish C

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I KNEW it was too good to last. :mad: He travelled too well, behaved too nicely when he arrived at the new yard, was the picture of manners and charm with everyone new he met, was an angel to lunge/free-school at the new place the first time, behaved way better than expected when I rode him there for the first time.

Today when I went to ride Monty-bloody-Knobberts he had a suspiciously hoof-shaped gash on his side, right under where his saddle would be. He was the tiniest bit twitchy for me to touch it, so I decided to play it safe (HA, ironic!) and lunge/free school him again instead of ride.

I often (but not always) combine lunging and free schooling, as cantering on the lunge is a step too far for him at the moment. Also he loves loose jumping (takes himself over any fences I put up without any guidance whatsoever - I normally spend longer than anything persuading him to stop :rolleyes:) so decided to pop up a little fence for him. We have done this scores of times and he has never once acted the wollox, he's always been so good, and he showed no signs, during our little session at the new place the other day, of being otherwise. I lunged him for a short time and he behaved perfectly, got all of our goals acheived and done well, then turned him loose to have a run around and he did so, popped the jump happy out a few times and then without any warning....

.... barged straight through the fence and p!$$ed off down the lane. The fence is - sorry was - a big fence. He managed to snap a vertical post at the bottom, and the horizontal rails snapped with it. I'm not quite sure as it was one of those 'happened a bit quickly' things but I think he half thought about jumping it and by the time he'd realised what he was doing he was committed and had no choice but to carry on through it. :(

He just trotted off up the lane to the gate to his field and stood looking at me. Luckily the bloody sod seems to be fine... retrieved him no problem (he even put his nose into the headcollar, think he may have a sense of guilt), walked him round the school (in hand) a few times afterwards, hosed his legs down and checked him out all over, no sign of lameness or even a tiny graze, so he'll prob just be a bit stiff for a couple of days. The wood didn't shatter, just broke without too many shards, and THANK GOD it seems he somehow avoided all of the nails.

Great impression to make on the new yard owner. :( Apologised profusely to her, helped her to do a botch-job on the hole in the side of her beautiful arena, then asked her numerous times to make sure she puts every penny of the repairs onto my bill. She was lovely and understanding about it all, said she'd check him again later and told me to just come home and have a stiff drink. I feel absolutely awful, I honestly never thought he'd do anything like that :( Horrified at the damage he's done to her arena, what he might've done to himself and that he's done a really super job of making a complete arse out of me in a very short space of time at the new place ;) I've turned from the angry and upset phases into the in-shock-thank-god-he/no-one-was-hurt phase and am now arriving at the worrying about him phase. May have to go and check him again tonight :(

Stupid bloody ignorant knobber horse. He's lucky he hasn't got serious injuries, if not from the fence then from me afterwards :mad:

The joys of horses, sigh :(
 
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i'm quite full actually, but i'll have a dose of knobber-humour each evening please if he continues to be so funny :D


Sorry I shouldn't laugh :o (just secretly pleased my welshie isn't his size..mwahaha)
 
If its not one thing its the other!! I'm pleased he is ok, and no one was damaged other than the fence...

Maybe think about getting Princess the kitten over to put him back in his box!!
 
It'll be another day before I can properly laugh at it, I reckon - just have a resigned half-grin at the mo ;) That may also descend back into anger at him fairly quickly when I get the bill for the damages. I'm most mortified at the damage done... if he'd just jumped it I'd be having a good laugh already but he properly demolished the poor YO's fence :( Thank god he was so charming when he arrived, she fell for him straight away! He'd better be on best behaviour for a few days now, else we might be looking for a new yard again :rolleyes:

Doratheexploror - funnily enough the first words I said to him when I got him back were, "you do realise, Knobberts, that I'm going back to Clare tomorrow and I will now be bringing the Princess back up with me." :D

There's something in the air - our houdini-esque guard hens (they got out and attacked the postman yesterday) have somehow just escaped YET AGAIN (we have blocked every single hole we can find in the entire garden) and our speshul border collie, who has spent the entire day 'herding' their empty house/run, finally just realised they were out and ran head first into the gate trying to get out to them and is now in hiding under some garden furniture. Why can't I just own a normal animal?!! :rolleyes:
 
Was worrying myself silly so went to go and check on the bold, BOLD boy and he is typically fine. Think he's either feeling a bit guilty (do horses have some form of 'guilt'?!) or he's shaken himself a bit as he gave a huge neigh when he saw me at the gate (before I'd even called him) and came charging across - unusual for him, he sometimes pootles over at a slow pace or just stands and waits for me to get him :rolleyes: - so he's obviously not lame anyways! Checked him over thoroughly again, no sign of any heat, swelling or discomfort, so fingers crossed.

Hopefully the stupid idiot has got away with maybe just being a bit stiff for a couple of days.

Bought myself a sneaky crunchie bar on the way home and am now enjoying it with a large cup of tea, a concussed collie and my sunggie blanket. Feel a lot better now!
 
You can send him to me if you like. Our yard is used to dealing with knobbers, having the original knobber as I do. :)

What a tool he is. Just what you don't want on a new yard. Nearly as good as when my old mare let herself out of her box one night and ate all the hanging baskets, all the chives, all the rambling rose growing up the wall and a blueberry bush. I was mortified as hadn't been there long at the time!
 
There's something in the air - our houdini-esque guard hens (they got out and attacked the postman yesterday) have somehow just escaped YET AGAIN (we have blocked every single hole we can find in the entire garden) and our speshul border collie, who has spent the entire day 'herding' their empty house/run, finally just realised they were out and ran head first into the gate trying to get out to them and is now in hiding under some garden furniture. Why can't I just own a normal animal?!! :rolleyes:

LOL at the collie, I am so glad I am not the only person with a 'speshul' collie - mine regularly misses the doorways in my house.... I think his personal best was when he ran full pelt into a caravan :rolleyes:


Ooops about Knobberts, at least he made the efforts to charm the YO first though :D
 
Jesstickle - Oh god imagine Knobberts and Brown Horse living at the same yard! :D They do pick their times... no chance of them giving it a good long settling period before they go acting the eejits :rolleyes:

broke_but_happy - ha, sounds very much like ours! He has NO spatial awareness whatsoever, and because he's so mentally unstable whenever he hurts himself he gets scared and worried and has to go and hide for ages :rolleyes: He is the absolute KING of obsessive and displacement behaviour. If he was a horse he'd definitely be a knobber :D
 
Sorry to hear of your troubles and I am pleased to hear that he seems ok. I have to say the way you write your thread is fantastic when you read it you can really see what is happening and I know I should not but it did make me smile. Normal what is normal I think it might be a bit boring, I know you prob think boring would be good right know just think of it as having character !!! But perhaps just a bit to much bless. :)
 
Brown Horse would absolutely love to live with Knobberts. Not sure how much of a yard there'd be left if they were both in the same place mind you! It would be like a demolition derby.
 
Ebonyallen - you're right really I suppose. Just for a novelty, I wouldn't mind having a normal animal, just for a few days until the novelty wore off :D

Jesstickle - think of all the firsts:
1st horses to be issued ASBOs
1st horses to appear on Crimewatch
1st horses to make Britian's most wanted list
1st horses to be convicted for looting/rioting

I can see them now, hoodies, trousers hanging down around their fetlocks, big gold medallions and big wahoosive electronic tagging house-arrest things around their hooves :D
 
oh dear!!!


Mine tried to clear a 5 foot fence out the paddock :o she didnt want to be loose schooled/lunged anymore and tried to clear it and galloped off down the field with me running (as iffff i was going to catch upto her :D lol!!!)

She snapped a fencepost, cut her leg, and cost me £112 in a vets bill -

so least hes ok :) i will never ever loose school again unless the fence is 10 foot :D
 
Oh gosh how eventful!!
They really do like to make fools of us sometimes don't they? Send him to me, I already have one destructive, hyperactive, too-clever-for-her-own-good knobber horse, one more shouldn't make (too) much difference!!!

One day, she threw me off, and proceeded to barge into a field, wrapping all the barbed wire round her legs (cutting herself to shreds), completely destroyed a section of the fence and let all the farm sheep loose....:o:o:o
Mortified was not the word.......
K x
 
BH pulled down half a wall. Don't know if that makes you feel better about Knobberts. He did it at the start of summer. Tit! He did kick a rail out of the school fence once too but he didn't go though the whole thing. That is impressive
 
noodle - :eek: jebus, yeah, at least mine is ok. I don't think I'll be loose-schooling him again any time soon. Balls!

skint1 - glad he's entertaining, at least he has some purpose :D

Kellysheroes - the word I used when I read that began with f and ended in eck. Crikeys!!

Jesstickle - that does make me feel better! The old wall-demolition, he has that one down to a fine art as well. I think he enjoys it most when there are other horses to lead over the knocked wall into the field which is being saved especially for the winter, so that everything can have most impact - wall as damaged as possible, field as trampled/grazed as possible, and most number of excited lunatic horses to catch as possible. Tit is about right! :D Please would you tell your Real McCoy Original Knobber to shut down the Knobber anti-social networking sites and stop spreading ideas for all tribute knobbers!
 
I think it is self perpetrating. Knobbers caught in the act and punished become martyrs and just spur on further knobberishness. There is no way to break the cycle. We're all doomed.
 
Knobbers caught in the act and punished become martyrs and just spur on further knobberishness.

They so do! I caught him trying to chew through the hosing to his automatic water at the old yard a couple of weeks ago (after he'd broken yet another bucket) so gave him a telling off, which put him in a grump whilst I was grooming him meaning that he lunged himself around the stable. Until I got sick of it (and a bit dizzy :p) so told him off again, shouted 'stand' and gave him an elbow into the chest for being bargy. He turned into a complete martyr and refused to move an inch for 20 minutes. Myself and other liveries were outside his stable creased with laughter as he stood stock still in the exact place I told him off in, ignoring his hay and looking at us with a very pointed expression which nearly flashed in neon lights: "well you told me stand, I'm standing. I'm standing and I'm ignoring my hay and now I'm going to starve. Happy now?"

Knob! :D
 
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