Asking for Loan horse back Vs Upsetting people

I'd be kind to them when you tell them; I'm suspect you will as you seem like a thoughtful person. I'm sure this has always been in the back of their mind that at some point in time you may ask for your mare back. That's always the worry of loaning a horse. Who knows, perhaps they've also been thinking a similar thing if the daughter is planning to go to university in Sept.
 
NSA said:
Thankyou to all the replies.

Firstly, yes I would be having her back to keep.

I have arranged a visit to go and see her :)
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Then as kindly as you can, give them notice that the loan will be terminated after X amount of time and thank them for looking after her so well. Do not feel guilty - she is your horse and they know that she is on loan.
 
Faracat said:
Then as kindly as you can, give them notice that the loan will be terminated after X amount of time and thank them for looking after her so well. Do not feel guilty - she is your horse and they know that she is on loan.
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This is perfectly reasonable.
 
Well, if you can manage financially and time-wise with 3 then it's a no-brainer for me: Take her back! She's YOURS. Not theirs, YOURS.
 
Faracat said:
Then as kindly as you can, give them notice that the loan will be terminated after X amount of time and thank them for looking after her so well. Do not feel guilty - she is your horse and they know that she is on loan.
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agree with this, not sure why lots of people on this thread seem so anti the loaner who has looked after your lovely mare so well for so long
 
twiggy2 said:
agree with this, not sure why lots of people on this thread seem so anti the loaner who has looked after your lovely mare so well for so long
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Me either, though i'm not honestly sure why some people are borderline aggressive at the thought of an owner taking a horse back from a loaner, either.

No-ones at fault, no-ones a victim. This is the reality of loaning a horse. It doesn't belong to the loaner, it belongs to the owner, and it can be a great arrangement if no-one gets silly about it.
 
Faracat said:
Then as kindly as you can, give them notice that the loan will be terminated after X amount of time and thank them for looking after her so well. Do not feel guilty - she is your horse and they know that she is on loan.
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Yes I agree with this too. Just give them notice and lots of praise for how well she has been looked after. There is a good chance are this young girl may well go off to uni at the end of summer and terminate the loan herself.
 
This is her first year of a levels so I think she will be looking at Uni next year.

Just double checked, she is first year a levels- yes Uni next year although I don't know whether she will move away or not.
 
LittleRocketRider said:
quite frankly if you wanted you could just drive p there now load her up and take her home without a single word to them..........its your horse...they know that shes on loan and that is how a loan works, they are not your problem, if they have offered to buy her then they can obviously afford to buy/loan another one.
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If you have a contract that states a months notice, you cannot simply turn up at a strangers yard and start helping yourself to the horse.

You'd be in breach of contract and YO could probably have you for trespass too.
 
wench said:
If you have a contract that states a months notice, you cannot simply turn up at a strangers yard and start helping yourself to the horse.

You'd be in breach of contract and YO could probably have you for trespass too.
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You can do whatever you like, as long as you don't break any padlocks, then yes, you can legally enter premises to remove your own property.

It would be courteous, of course, and morally right to give notice. But if an owner were to just turn up at any time and take their horse, they'd be we'll within their rights.
 
NSA said:
This is her first year of a levels so I think she will be looking at Uni next year.

Just double checked, she is first year a levels- yes Uni next year although I don't know whether she will move away or not.
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At the end of the day it doesn't matter if you want her back. You could offer her the chance to come and ride her a couple of days a week, perhaps, to soften the blow.
 
If you plan to take her home for life now, then speak to the mum when you visit and make the arrangements to take your special girl home but maybe worth chatting to the mum when is a good time and you are aware that she has important exams and you wouldn't want to disrupt those but you wish to take the mare home before the summer. I personally think, the sooner the better but if within a reasonable distance, you could offer that the girl could still ride your mare at yours from time to time over the summer. What is the notice period in your loan agreement?
 
Patterdale said:
You can do whatever you like, as long as you don't break any padlocks, then yes, you can legally enter premises to remove your own property.

It would be courteous, of course, and morally right to give notice. But if an owner were to just turn up at any time and take their horse, they'd be we'll within their rights.
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No they are not. If you have a contract that says you have a months notice to remove horse and you just turn up and take it away it is breach of contract and you can be sued for it. In reality unlikely to happen,
 
OP has no reason or desire ( based on her posts ) to remove the horse without notice .
Why would she ? the horse has been there living happily and is loved by the family she says they have cared for her well why would she even think of not holding up her side of the agreement, a person who has cared for a loan horse well deserves the notice time agreed to by both parties .
I glad Op Is going to visit and see the horse after that her mind should be clear.
 
If you took her back would it be for good or would you then be looking to loan her out again in a few years?

If you're taking her back for good then yes it's upsetting for the loaners but she's your horse at the end of the day and I'm sure if you give them a bit of notice and explain why then they will understand and get over it.

If you'd eventually be wanting to loan her out again then think carefully as I'd be pretty miffed if I were them and found out that you'd taken the horse back for the summer and then given to someone else and there's also the question of if lots of moving about is fair on the horse if she's currently happy and settled.

Option 3 is if the girl is a little swamped with exams you could offer to take her back until they're over (/ share if close enough) and then them have her back. That way you get some time with your mare without committing to taking her back and then you can crack on with the rescue one, horse gets worked more and stays fitter for when loaner has more time again and nobody gets upset.
 
I'm well aware op isn't planning on removing.

My comments are merely to point out that you cannot just remove the horse, if you have a contract, when you feel like it, as other posters have suggested.
 
wench said:
I'm well aware op isn't planning on removing.

My comments are merely to point out that you cannot just remove the horse, if you have a contract, when you feel like it, as other posters have suggested.
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I was not answering your post just talking generally .
I feel for the teenager remembering the passion I loved my first competition horse with she may be heartbroken the fact she's knows the horse is not hers is unlikely to make it less painful.
 
wench said:
I'm well aware op isn't planning on removing.

My comments are merely to point out that you cannot just remove the horse, if you have a contract, when you feel like it, as other posters have suggested.
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If it is YOUR horse, then yes, you can. A contract such as a loan agreement really isn't worth the paper it's written on when it comes to an OWNER removing their OWN property.
But as OP doesn't need to do this, it's all academic really.
 
Goldenstar said:
I was not answering your post just talking generally .
I feel for the teenager remembering the passion I loved my first competition horse with she may be heartbroken the fact she's knows the horse is not hers is unlikely to make it less painful.
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Well it'll be a good life lesson if nothing else. She'll get over it, and unless OP beats her with sticks whilst removing the horse I doubt she'll find it painful, just a bit sad for a few days.
Any teenager who would be genuinely affected long term by their loan horse going back to its owner needs a reality check.
 
Patterdale said:
If it is YOUR horse, then yes, you can. A contract such as a loan agreement really isn't worth the paper it's written on when it comes to an OWNER removing their OWN property.
But as OP doesn't need to do this, it's all academic really.
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A contract is a legally enforceable document, so yes it is worth the paper it's written on.
 
I think it's something that only you can really decide, however it would make a lot of sense for you to have some fun on your own horse. But I just wanted to say how lovely it is that you're putting so much thought into how the loaner feels and how it may affect the family, so many people would just take the horse back without a second thought towards the people who currently love and care for it. You sound like a very kind and caring person and I'm sure that if you decide to take her back, you will word it and time it well. Perhaps talk to the mother alone in the first instance, just to get a better understanding of how her daughter is doing with exams etc and what timing would be best. As someone earlier on (sorry, can't find the post!) suggested, are you close enough so that the daughter could perhaps still pass by and visit now and again? x
 
starryeyed said:
I think it's something that only you can really decide, however it would make a lot of sense for you to have some fun on your own horse. But I just wanted to say how lovely it is that you're putting so much thought into how the loaner feels and how it may affect the family, so many people would just take the horse back without a second thought towards the people who currently love and care for it. You sound like a very kind and caring person and I'm sure that if you decide to take her back, you will word it and time it well. Perhaps talk to the mother alone in the first instance, just to get a better understanding of how her daughter is doing with exams etc and what timing would be best. As someone earlier on (sorry, can't find the post!) suggested, are you close enough so that the daughter could perhaps still pass by and visit now and again? x
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Thankyou.
I am very appreciative of how they have loved and cared for my girl and I want to lessen the upset as much as I can if I take her back and that means taking into consideration how they feel.

I rang the mother yesterday to arrange to visit and she admitted at the end of the call that she was nervous when she saw my name flash up as she was concerned I was ringing to ask for her back.
This makes me feel even worse.
We will visit anyway regardless as I want to see her.

It's not possible for me to offer myself a sharer, they live about 45 mins away but it's not the distance, they own/live on their own yard so they don't need my help. They have other horses so I doubt she will want to come and ride her if I take her but I have no problem offering it and of course they will always be welcome to visit her.
 
NSA said:
Thankyou.
I am very appreciative of how they have loved and cared for my girl and I want to lessen the upset as much as I can if I take her back and that means taking into consideration how they feel.

I rang the mother yesterday to arrange to visit and she admitted at the end of the call that she was nervous when she saw my name flash up as she was concerned I was ringing to ask for her back.
This makes me feel even worse.
We will visit anyway regardless as I want to see her.
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I am not about to pass any judgement on the rights and perceived wrongs of you taking back your horse. All I want to say is that if you do, then do it quickly. My daughter had a loan pony reclaimed shortly before her A levels and was so devastated she gave up on all school work for a crucial time. So, get it over with so the girl can recover and get things back in perspective, especially as it sounds as if they love her as much as we did ours.
 
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Ladyinred said:
I am not about to pass any judgement on the rights and perceived wrongs of you taking back your horse. All I want to say is that if you do, then do it quickly. My daughter had a loan pony reclaimed shortly before her A levels and was so devastated she gave up on all school work for a crucial time. So, get it over with so the girl can recover and get things back in perspective, especially as it sounds as if they love her as much as we did ours.
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I would take her back after her exams, I wouldn't ever knowingly do it beforehand and add an additional stress to a hard situation. The loaner is fortunate to have other horses of her own who she also adores so I hope this would cause her some comfort. She has a youngster she is bringing on which she seems to be doing a great job with so hopefully all this in consideration will help with their loss.

I still need to think about it, I'm visiting at the weekend and will see how that visit goes first. If I take her back I will make sure it's a time that suits everyone, if that means they have the summer with her and I have her back end of September then I will work with that.
 
I put a pony out on loan. The home was the absolute best. The pony was really happy and really well cared for. They had a great bond. I considered taking him back as I missed how straight forward he was. He is happier with her and gets more attention than he ever would with me. I gifted him to her for her 16th birthday so I couldn't be tempted. In my situation the pony was best left where he was as much as I missed him at times.
 
I had. A loan taken back using a text and a weeks notice, I never had an issue with them wanting him back, he's theirs after all but the method was cruel. As long as you do it by bring upfront and sticking to the agreed notice then you should do what you want to do, your horse, your decision.
 
Good luck with the visit .
It will I am sure clear your mind and it's the decent thing to do it face to face if decide to bring her home , not on the phone or even worse by text.
 
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