At the end

[Laafet]

I can understand why you wouldn't want to be there - TBH I don't really think they know to much what is going on if you have them injected and they can get more upset by the reactions of the people around them. I know I'll probably get shot down for saying that but I do think it. I was there for my mare but she was in so much agony when we had her PTS I doubt she was aware of anything and that moment of pain relief before she died must have been wonderful. I'm sure if I could take being there when murphy is PTS - I hope he goes quietly in the night and I don't have to make the decision.
Whatever you do only you can make the right decision for you. Take care, big hugs.

 

[MDJO]

Went through the same with my lad over 18 months ago. I had the injection and it was very peaceful for him, despite taking four extinction gasps. I was glad I was there because I saw the moment he passed - the eyes change very dramatically - and this helped me reconcile that his spirit had moved on.

 

[Prudence]

Yes, I was.

 

[mandy4727]

I always said that I wouldn't be and my other half had to do it and promise not to tell me any of the details. But when the time came. I had to be there for my pony. After owning her for 27 years it was the least I could do to be with her at the end. The vet even said that I had to talk to her and stroke her and everything. So yes I am glad I was there in the end. I had the injection. But I didn't stay as they took her away I knew that I couldn't watch that bit. And yes for a little while the final vision in your mind is when they are no longer with us. But that does pass and I can not see pictures in my mind of other things about Margo and riding her and her in the field and not just the last few moments although they are there too. I try to shake them out of my mind and focus on something else instead when this vision comes up in my mind.

 

[lillie07]

I wasn't there when my baby girl Lillie was PTS and I definately feel I made the right decision. Hugs to you xxx

 

[rema]

I coulden't be there for my old girl at the end (injection).I left her in the very kind and capable hands of the yo's husband.I thought by me being there and her sensing my upset would of upset her.But have been on the end of the lead rope for both methods with friends horses and have 'helped' load up and move.

Follow your heart as to whether you want to remain till the end.Nobody will think any the worse of you if you cannot stay till the end.My thoughts are with you.

 

[RunToEarth]

Gosh poor you, what a horrible decision to make.I was there when my TBxarab was PTS, and looking back now, I wish I wasnt.

 

[Fairynuff]

Im like you Rema. I can cope with holding other peoples horses but could not and will not be there when the day comes for my boys. After holding horses to be shot...well..its awful. Its a very violent ending although they go down immediately and know nothing. Its the person involved that suffers. Can you not have him injected, its peaceful-they just go to sleep and dont wake up. Thinking of you. Love, Mairi.

 

[rema]

I guess it's abit easier with somebody else's horse.Although still very upsetting there was no real emotional attachment as there would of been with my own.

 

[Accy]

I would be there i have no doubt in my mind about it, a few months back i had a horse PTS for a friend she couldnt be there so i was, yes it was emotional it was hard and i had no attachement to the animal but someone had to be there.

It is a very personal choice and only the person going through it can make the choice and no one should judge them regardless of what they choose, i would always be there as in my eyes the horse gives you some much to be there at the end just seems right.

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time

 

[Marnie]

Sorry that you have to make this decision.

I have been there for my own horses that were shot and for others that were either shot or injected. I have to be honest, I found the shooting the easier ones as it was so quick - although some may find it brutal. It may sound strange, but once I had been there for one, I knew exactly what was going to happen, and had imagined it so many times in my head before it happened, that the actual event was almost a relief.

My thoughts are with you, whatever you decide.

 

[Happy Horse]

I would say if the horse is being shot - don't watch. Yes, be there until they are ready to do it but don't let it be your last memory. Horses have no idea what is going on and they are not going to feel deserted if you step away at the last moment. Even when it goes well shooting is traumatic and if you have any doubts you would be better to not see it. I have seen many horses euthanised by both methods but when it came to my own boy, I let the vet and the nurse handle the situation, I gave him some mints, walked away and came back a few minutes later to say good bye. I have nothing but good memories. either way, whatever you decide it has to be right for you.

I will be thinking of you.

 

[sevenoceans]

I wasn't there for my mare (19 years old, I had her 7 years) when she was put to sleep by the huntsman whom i knew and was ver kind (she had lots of health issues and was put to sleep at livery with yard owner looking after her), but my comfort that i gave her loads of cuddles, carrots, polos treating her as if nothing is happening then I went on family holiday, I have always known it was time for her to go so i picked out perfect timing. I did shed few tears on holiday but I came back feeling a lot relieved.
But I probably still not be there for my current horse.

Don't feel guilty or horrible... I would rather remember him/her when he/she was alive.

 

[henryhorn]

If he is being shot I wouldn't be there, it's not a thing you need to see, let the professionals deal with it.

 

[TGM]

[ QUOTE ]
It may sound strange, but once I had been there for one, I knew exactly what was going to happen, and had imagined it so many times in my head before it happened, that the actual event was almost a relief.

[/ QUOTE ] Not strange at all - I felt very similar, Marnie. And there was the relief that I also knew I could do it again in the future.

 

[Tia]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It may sound strange, but once I had been there for one, I knew exactly what was going to happen, and had imagined it so many times in my head before it happened, that the actual event was almost a relief.

[/ QUOTE ] Not strange at all - I felt very similar, Marnie. And there was the relief that I also knew I could do it again in the future.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's exactly how I felt too.

 

[Ginn]

Oh hunny, I am so sorry. ((((( Big huggles)))))

Personally I couldn't have mine shot as I'd want to be there but don't think I could witness that, unless it was a genuine emergency. But if I were in your position I think I'd want to be there just before and then go somewhere else while the deed is done.

All I hope is that if someday the time comes for me to make such a decision I have your bravery and courage. Will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

 

[Maesfen]

Up until now, I have always been there at the end and they have all been shot; I have also held friends' horses because they couldn't face it. Without exception, they all said afterwards they wish they had been there too.
I feel it's the least I can do for them so that they see a friendly face at the end after all the pleasure they have given me; the pain it causes me is small beer in comparison I feel but each to his own.

Whatever you decide, remember you are doing the last great thing you can do for your horse before he has time to suffer at the onset of cold dark wet days, so be brave, he will thank you for it.

My sympathies, a horrible time.

I also can't add anything else to what was written so well by Marnie that Tia and TGM agreed with about knowing what to expect. It was exactly the same for me; I cope because I 'need' to be there; we can be a lot stronger than we think.

 

[calon]

dont go you shoudnt put yourself through it you may never forget believe me i have been there and done it , say your goodbyes and remember him as he was . i am so sorry for you having to go through this try and tell ypourself its for the best hun

 

[0]

i wasn't there when my pony was pts (by injection) and i regret it so much.
A couple of weekends ago someone i know had their horse pts and it got me thinking what i would do when the one i have now goes (i'll keep her til then and have had her since she was 2) and i think i would be there because although i agree with what some others have said about remembering them alive I feel that she has given me so much that i would owe it to her to do this one thing even though i don't really want to. i owe it to her to be there til the end as she has always been there for me - i would comfort her through my tears and tell her that i love her and thanks for everything. This poem (verse 4 mainly) also makes me think that i should do this even more:

My Wish
If the day should come when I'm in pain,
And you know I won't be well again,
Promise you'll do what must be done,
If this is the battle that can't be won.

It'll break your heart, but please be kind,
Don't let your grieving sway your mind.
For this is when you'll let me see
Just how much you do love me.

Together we've had happy years
The future now can hold no fears.
Please don't let me suffer so
When that days comes, please let me go.

For my usual vet please will you send?
But stay with me until the end.
Hold me steady, speak to me
Till my once bright eyes no longer see.

In time I hope you'll come to see
It's the last kindness you'll do for me
One more time please stroke my mane
And know that I'll have no more pain.

And don't be sad that it was you
Who decided this was what to do.
We've been such buddies through the years
Don't let me be the cause of tears.

You'll always see me graze now,
with the sun upon my back
Painful limbs won't tire me now,
however long the hack.

I live now in your heart and mind,
a lovely place to stay.
And what you have in memories,
no one can take away.

Shirley Cruiswick.

However i would have her injected whether my view would be strong enough to see her be shot - i'm not sure. I'd like to think i'd be strong enough to do that one last thing but i'm not sure i could if she was being shot.

Remember though, you have given him a fantastic home for thirteen years - he won't hold it against you if you choose not to be there. It is what we do for them day in day out that counts and whatever you decide at the end - it won't effect all the days and years that you have been his friend!!

Huge hugs xxxxx

 

[Tia]

Oh my god I am in tears now. I love that poem. I heard it a number of years ago and it was this particular verse which I have never forgotten and it is this verse which tells me that every time a horse of mine dies I have to be with him:

[ QUOTE ]
"For my usual vet please will you send?
But stay with me until the end.
Hold me steady, speak to me
Till my once bright eyes no longer see."

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[icestationzebra]

Think I must have missed the lead up to this, but I get the gist. Very sorry for you - what a hard decision to make. Will think of you tomorrow.

 

[Pidge]

Go with your gut instinct. I had Higgins put down by injection and didn't stop with him as I was a wreck and when upset he got upset and I didn't want to upset him. My last memory of him is in his box at Leahurst looking at me as if to say are you coming back? When he realised I wasn't coming back he went to the back of the box and stood resting his back leg. I am crying as I type this as I still miss him loads, but you have to put your horse first and I'm certain I did as if I'd have been with him he'd have been upset as his 'mum' was upset.

 

[Fiona_C]

Never had to make this decision, but know one day it will come, go with whatever you feel is right tomorrow, sending big hugs your way

 

[Doreys_Mum]

I've been there.

They had to prise me off her neck, lol...

It's not pretty, and it's not nice, but you can see them at peace. Even if they're shot. They're not longer in pain and suffering.

It's not a lie to say that it doesn't haunt you forever though. I'm crying now just typing it. For months all I could think about was when she died.

But I'd be hating myself if I wasn't there for her. I saved her from so much, I had to say goodbye.

 

[Claireg9]

I have to say i have never been strong enough to do it, i know id have that as my las picture, but i am lucky enough to have my pops to stand in so i know there still with someone they love and trust!
If my Pops was no longer there i think i might change my mind and become stronger.
Which ever you decide your best pal will know your good intentions, big hugs at this awful time.
xxx