At what point does borrowing become taking the proverbial?

BlackRider

BlackRider

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If you are on a livery yard, and another livery regularly uses your stuff (ie lunge whip), at what point would you think its taking the mickey?

I always gone by the principal that if you need something regularly, I'd buy my own....
 
It takes the pee the first time they use it without asking.

Hide your whip away or take it home for a bit and tell them they should use their own.
 
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For me, it would be the first time they take it without asking.
Or when they've asked to borrow it but not brought it back straight away.
Or when they still have it when I need it.
 
Owning a horse is an expensive business without having to supplement someone else's ownership. We have a friend on our yard who has carte blanc to use anything of ours without having to ask. She will always ask though out od courtesy. For someone to just take something & use it * from what you say it appears to be a regular thing then that's down right rude. She needs to be told to go & buy one, they're not that expensive anyway.
 
On our yard, we share all the time - I have spare brushing boots and a set of side reins, one friend has a spare fly mask and piles of towels, another has a lunge whip and a spare large tub trug. We tend to borrow off each other all the time, although if we need it regularly we buy our own.

One friend lent me an old fly rug when my boy shredded one of his and I tried my old horse's one on him and it rubbed his chest raw, two weeks before payday and when I had physio, dentist and vacs booked for the next week... thankfully she let me borrow it until payday, and then the eventual arrival of his new rug. In return I clipped her horse for her for nothing, and let her borrow my side reins for lunging her horse. We work with favours and lending as a currency - although we are always polite about it, and appreciative of what we do for each other.

Borrowing without permission, and longterm for something that you could buy yourself, isn't very fair. And not being able to use it yourself because they are isn't on.
 
With me it's not other liveries, it's family and our rider, drives me mad when a saddle has been stripped, nosebands disappear from bridles, grooming kit left lying, I sorted out the stables and kit, so everything was in the right place, then told everyone, this is how I like it, keep it this way, I just feel I have to check that horses have the right rugs on, nothing lying around that they can hurt themselves on, or am I just being anal about this
 
Have they asked to use it? or did you offer them to use it? If not either and they just use it cos it's there then they are taking the michael and I would remove it so they couldn't use it

Toby_Zaphod said:
Owning a horse is an expensive business without having to supplement someone else's ownership. We have a friend on our yard who has carte blanc to use anything of ours without having to ask. She will always ask though out od courtesy. For someone to just take something & use it * from what you say it appears to be a regular thing then that's down right rude. She needs to be told to go & buy one, they're not that expensive anyway.
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Blimey why does this person have carte blanche to use your property, that sounds very odd to me, I wouldn't be happy if there was someone who thought they had a right to use anything of mine by right. Don't get me wrong if I can help and offer the use of equipment I haven't a problem and people are welcome to use my stuff but for them to use/take it without me knowing/without my permission then I do get a bit snarky.
 
When i first moved on yard i had no worry about people using stuff if was put back or in case of emeregency stuff from med box replaced(which one owner not only replaced what was used but bought some horse treats as thank you) but over time new people came on and took the mick. i often had to go looking for my stuff etc (even grooming brushes) often found on floor out side. So padlock and chain bought and no more borrowing allowed. simple.
 
this is why my whips are kept in the car - they kept going for a walk. funnily enough I had one put back after it had been borrowed and broken.

that said, someone is helping themselves to my stuff at my new yard. most recently someone walked away with a whole Oster grooming kit and I still haven't found it.
I've had people using my tack and had to strip other horses of my rugs (and strip my own horse of someone else's before he destroyed it beyond repair).

it makes me wonder why people wont spend an extra 30 seconds to make sure they have the right piece of kit or buy their own - I'm sure that if it was their stuff being taken, they'd have something to say about it.
 
Sorry, but what is the harm? Is she using it when you want it? Or returning it damaged, or not to where you expect to find it? I have always said people can borrow my things so long as I can't tell they have been used - in other words put it back in the same condition you found it to the place you found it. It seems senseless to spend money on something someone else has and isn't using all of the time.
The first time it is damaged or you can't find it is the time to tell her she is no longer welcome to borrow it, and has to replace it if it is damaged. Meanwhile you could point out to her if she does damage it she will have to replace it.
 
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When I was on a big livery yard it was annoying. Especially when you have to go searching for your stuff so you can use it. Now I'm on a yard with just me and a friend I've know for 9 years. I'm happy for her to use / borrow whatever she likes of mine whether she asks or not.
 
This does my head in!! I don't mind people borrowing stuff if they ask so I know who's got it etc but that never seems to be the case, it just gets taken. I have even written a note on my wheelbarrow saying 'please do not use' as it was getting put back broken, yet people STILL use it and we have nowhere to lock tools up. Drives me nuts as it's come back brown twice!! Grrrr!!!
 
JillA said:
Sorry, but what is the harm? Is she using it when you want it? Or returning it damaged, or not to where you expect to find it? I have always said people can borrow my things so long as I can't tell they have been used - in other words put it back in the same condition you found it to the place you found it. It seems senseless to spend money on something someone else has and isn't using all of the time.
The first time it is damaged or you can't find it is the time to tell her she is no longer welcome to borrow it, and has to replace it if it is damaged. Meanwhile you could point out to her if she does damage it she will have to replace it.
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Have to say that I agree with this generally. If it isn't something that will wear out quickly, is returned in the condition it was, and is being used at times you don't need it, I don't really have a problem (although it would be polite to ask, or even say, hope you don't mind, I borrowed your whip..). Things like whips, hi viz tabbards, mucking out tools etc, I don't mind people using.

I used to get fed up with one of our DIYs who always used our tools to muck out because they were better than hers, at a time when my husband needed to be mucking out, and would leave them on the horse yard afterwards (where her horse was) when we kept them at the pony block.
 
MagicMelon said:
Hmm so would the same apply to her horse, OP wouldn't be using her horse all of the time - lol ;)
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Could do - there are yards, one I know of in France, where horses are jointly owned and they operate a sort of communal exercising policy, with non owners involved too. The horses are generally healthier and happier because they get plenty of work.
 
JillA said:
Could do - there are yards, one I know of in France, where horses are jointly owned and they operate a sort of communal exercising policy, with non owners involved too. The horses are generally healthier and happier because they get plenty of work.
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The important parts of that are "jointly owned" and "operated" - ie a decision has been made to pay for part of a horse and use part of that horse. It's not quite the same as someone deciding unilaterally that you're not riding your horse so they and some friends will ride it when you're not.
 
I've borrowed my friends horse too. I did ask thou :) and she would be welcome to borrow one of mine. We both have lorries but if one isn't working or waiting to be MOT'd we use each other's. I trust my friend implicitly thou and know she treats my horses / stuff like her own.
 
There's a difference in lending someone a piece of tack to try out, or for occasional use and someone using your kit daily because they are too mean to invest in something they need.

I used to lend my clippers to people but each time, they were put away dirty and the blades were left blunt. Or lending a professionally cleaned rug and getting it back eventually, dirty or badly washed off at home. It's so rude.

What I don't understand is, how can someone on DIY not buy a brush or a wheel barrow when the yard does not provide communal tools ? I think every yard I've ever been on, has had at least one person who used everyone else's and left them filthy in some random spot.

Its lovely when you're on a yard where people are generous and share, but it needs to work both ways and kit should always be returned in the same condition.
 
I would agree with the borrow but put back in same place and same condition.

My exclusions on this are horse wardrobe items as I prefer to reduce the chances of cross contamination.

So mucking out tools, wheelbarrows, lunge lines, side reins no problem but not brushes, rugs, tack.

Then again we are on a small friendly yard where we all have a similar attitude and generally would text to make sure if its OK if its anything out of the norm.
 
Two friends of mine have "shared rugs" in common with two of my horses, that has always worked well.

I use one of my rug share friend's big wheelbarrow when she is not using it but never when she is and I always put it back. Recently one of the wheels went flat and I was trying to source a new one after we established it couldn't be re-inflated, but then her boyfriend and I came up with the idea of hoiking one off a dead wheelbarrow from the wheelbarrow graveyard so he fixed it that way instead. I am grateful for the loan of the wheelbarrow.

I leave all my brooms and forks out and I don't mind if people borrow them as long as they put them back.
Rugs I would mind (except for with my rug share friends) and I would be pretty peeved about feed, meds and supplements (unless they asked me first)

I have let people borrow my horse too, she's a good horse, totally safe, 100% novice friendly but also forward going. I prefer to offer her to people I feel will appreciate her and not push her too hard (as she is older now and got COPD and arthritis) , I got really annoyed back this summer when other liveries kept volunteering her to some freeloader to take to fun rides and shows like that was supposed to be a favour to me but I think I've covered that in another rant on H&H somewhere already
 
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