At what point would you, a parent draw the line?

[Shadow the Reindeer]

She's their first, and when they got her also a bogof (didn't know, think bombshell) .. she so has the potential to do anything, very low mileage on her legs, and not ruined by the race track (failed point to point I think)..

 

[mandwhy]

It would probably be a bit of a blanket statement to say that any child who doesn't give their all for a horse (apart from taking a bit of time out to do exams etc) doesn't deserve one, but that's how I feel! If you want to make it work, you do. A horse is a HUGE privilege.

 

[Max123]

When I was 16 I also started to lose interest in my pony as I was more interested in boys, glamour, social life etc. My Dad asked me a few times would I sell her - I had outgrown her and she was getting on a bit but very useful. I had her for 8 years so was very attached but she was becoming a chore to me. I did sell her and while I was heart-broken it was the best thing for both me and the pony as she would have not been cared for the way she should have. I returned to horses in my late twenties. If she has the interest she will always return to it.

 

[YorksG]

It sounds to me as if this poor girl is pretty much left to deal with her horse on her own, without much input from her parents. I think this is hard for a teenager to deal with. The hard physical work needed to carry and shift all the bedding and feed for a horse is quite difficult for some teenage girls as they reach a certain stage of their physical development. We got our first horse when I was 15 years old, sister was five years older than me, neither of us could drive, the horse was kept with one other, at a farm. Our dad took us to the yard twice a day, helped with carrying hay and water and made sure that we were safe, on dark country roads. I think too many kids are left with too much responsibility. We never missed a day with the horse, because we went with our dad. We also walked the family dogs twice a day, because we were expected to.

 

[SO1]

I think it really depends on how clever you are and also how much homework you get when I was doing my GCSE'S we were getting an hour and half homework every evening and and there was no way that it could have been done to an acceptable standard in the car or lunch hour.

With GCSE's and A Levels having more course work now the days of being able to cram for exams and get a good mark even if you had not spent much effort on homework are over.

Many kids have to work really hard to get good grades and it can be quite stressful for them. I think in this scenario parents have to decide how much they are willing to support their children in their hobbies during term time.

I also think children need some down time to relax and socialise including with members of the opposite sex as this does help them become rounded individuals in adult life.

These replies are all from the adults. GCSE's arent the end of the world. Up to my GCSE exams I would set off for school at 7.30, get back at 4.45 (4 if we got the odd lift back.) I would do my homework in the car and bus, and during lunchtimes (only one a week, as i had sport the other 4days). If there were sports matches after school Id be back at 6.30 ish. Id then help with mums riding school until 7 on weds-fri, and all day sunday. I still managed to ride 6 days a week (1 compulsory rest day). And thats working him hard for an hour. Admittedly I valued getting my work done in school a lot more important than boys

When I did A-levels I moved to my dads, so didnt help at the RS. There is a lot more coursework and the homwork is harder, but I still managed to train the Yr7 girls ruby team, play rugby myself 2/3 times a week, help at the vets one evening a week and ride maybe 5 times a week, and a job for 10hrs a week. Then again, horses and sport took priority over a social life. I am now in my 4th year of uni, and I think I made the right choices.

I think you can balance work life and boys well (I live in the middle of no-where so I couldnt practically go out, even if i wanted to). At the end of the day, boys dont secure you your grades and university degree!

 

[honetpot]

I think for some lucky children riding is like learning to swim, its an enjoyable skill which teachs you lots both physical and mental but just because you are able to do does that mean that everything else has to revolve round it.
Horses are my passion and I was lucky to have two children that rode and enjoyed it, but like all children thay grow up and want to do other things and thats natural. I always think that your children stopping riding is a sign to Mums that they are growing up and cutting the ties, which is sad for Mum but the horse doesn't give a s*** as long as it's fed.
So sell or keep the horse with grace, you are the adult , doing either you should be doing what is best for the animal. Don't fall out over it, don't make it a bargining tool and then what ever happens you will still hopefully have an open good relationship.
I have the memeries of the fun times we had together but I also have not made it so they do not feel guilty that they no longer share my passion.

 

[Turitea]

Compromise and get a sharer for set days. This way the horse is exercised, looked after on sharer's days. Give the teenager two set days. Tell the girl in question if she does not keep her end of the deal then the horse will be sold.
This is how a lot of my friends did tide over the teenage period. Of course, occassionally a horse had to be sold but the teenagers had time to make their choices.

 

[frazzled]

My daughter is 15 and in GCSE year. Her horse is on field rest for a month or so including half term. I thought she was beginning to lose a bit of interest but this has been a revelation. At start of half term she was quite excited about having more time to see friends, by the end of the week a wall chart was up counting off the days before she can ride again. Her complete season planned starting in june after her exams finish, and a fitness program worked out for bringing him back into work to fit around her studies. Guess I was wrong about her losing interest, she just didn't know what to do with herself without riding!!!
That said during the week I do a lot for her horse and he is on livery. She just wouldn't have time with her school commitments.