Average ladies' stirrup size, and am I being a big baby?

saltpetres

saltpetres

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Hi all :) this is a silly oversensitive person's post, feel free not to read it! However, I'd love to know your shoe size and your stirrup iron size!

The sooky story...

My old boy is finally well enough for us to get out and about, so I've joined a riding club. We went out for the first time the other day for a relaxed forest ride and we had a lovely lovely time. Except...well, I know I'm definitely oversensitive...but...

The group leader called us all to listen carefully to the "ride rules" speech, then she welcomed me as a new member, which was nice - then the secretary interrupted her to say, in front of EVERYONE, "Now young lady, there's something we have to talk about. Your stirrup irons are WAYYYY too small for you! You need to be able to fit a thumb down the side. Yours are tiny. That's very dangerous. Unbelievable! We'll talk about it afterwards. You'd better not fall off!" in front of EVERYONE. It sounds ok in text, but she said it in a way that inferred I knew nothing about horses and was a huge liability to the group :( Just because I'm about 20 years younger than the youngest one of them and a new member doesn't mean I'm an idiot! I've been riding since I was eight! I was very embarrassed and everyone went quiet and stared at me :(

So first of all, she never actually came anywhere near me, so I'm not sure how she could tell what size my stirrups were. Second, I can easily fit a thumb down the side of my stirrup! I don't know, maybe she has gigantic thumbs?! Was she just putting me in my place, showing me who's boss? If I was worried about someone's safety, I'd approach them personally rather than saying it in front of the whole group in the middle of a speech! She never came to talk to me about it afterwards, either. In fact, she never spoke to me again the entire day.

I've got 4 3/4 inch irons, as far as I know that's pretty standard, and I'm only a ladies size 5 with narrow feet. Plus they pull away from the saddle if your foot manages to get stuck.

Now my dilemma...if I turn up to the next meet with the same irons, she will probably roast me and I'll be that punk kid who doesn't listen to their elders, which is not what I want to be at all! I'm not a disrespectful person, and if my irons really were too small, she'd have a point, and I would agree (though maybe not with the delivery). However, I'm pretty convinced that my irons are a good size for me, and I don't really want to go and buy new irons that are too big for me if the ones I have are fine? Or should I just go and buy new irons and be done with it, and stop being a gigantic baby? Please slap me.
 
This woman sounds like a right fruitbat! I definately think she's one to try and avoid as much as poss! I think it could well be a power trip thing - people who volunteer for roles of pretend-authority (which in reality are roles no one wants to do cos they're a hassle) often have a over developed sense of self-importance. If it was me I'd give my stirrups a clean (well we're supposed to anyway aren't we��) and if she says anything about them tell her you have changed them and make a show of "you see I can fit a thumb down the side now"!
 
Your stirrups sound fine. Do as Mrs G suggests and give them a little clean and then show motor mouth next time that they are the correct size. Some people have no filter of vetting what they say before they say it, and she might enjoy flexing her muscles in front of her pals.
 
I am sorry you were upset, she sounds like an insensitive power player!

TBH I think this is more about this lady than it is about the stirrups. I am a size 7, often wear bigger boots in winter, and do not feel comfortable in "ladies stirrups", and always buy "men's" (although TBH I always thought they were adult's and child's). I do have larger than average feet for a woman though.

It is true that you should have a gap between the stirrup and the foot, so you are less likely to be wedged in. I hate it when I hop on a client's horse and it has small stirrups, and feel less than optimal.

However, if I were taking a RC session, and I had concerns, then I would quietly say that the stirrups were a bit tight, and would be safer if they were bigger. If put quietly like that you would probably have been grateful for the insight.

If they were really so small that they were dangerous then I would have searched around for some bigger ones, as to let you continue with a dangerous piece of tack would be unprofessional.

I would personally avoid this trainer as she will probably sap your confidence long term if she continues to be insensitive every time she finds a "fault" rather than just seeing something she can help you with.

FWIW, IME it is an insecure person who has to shout so loud when they find a "fault", it is as if they are justifying themselves to themselves and proving to everyone else that they are clever and worth the money.



ETA - just seen, it was not the trainer who said this, but was the RC secretary. So, that was even ruder, as you were under the trainer, not the secretary! If so I may still go to the RC lessons, but ignore her if you think she is talking rubbish!
 
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They'd hate me - mine are a 4 inch! I do have tiny feet though but have never had anyone make a comment about them, nor have my feet ever gotten stuck in them in the event of all fall (Although they are bent iron ones which are meant to prevent this).
 
I'm a size 5 and my stirrups are 4 3/4 - I've never had any problem.

If the rude woman says anything again say that you got your instructor to check and they said your stirrups were fine ;)
 
Thanks so much guys, you've made me feel heaps better!

FfionWinnie said:
What sort of boots were you wearing?
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Just these, with half chaps. they're fairly close-fitting and narrow :/

41s4KGkfykL.jpg


Pebble101 said:
I have Sprenger stirrups and find you need to go a bit larger as the rubber at the side takes up some space.
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Ahh I've wanted some of those for ages, I'll have to save up. Mine are just standard fillis irons. I always used to ride in the safety ones with the bent sides, but I've since heard some horror stories about those, and it's a lot harder to keep your feet in them anyway, I find!

Red-1 said:
I am sorry you were upset, she sounds like an insensitive power player!


FWIW, IME it is an insecure person who has to shout so loud when they find a "fault", it is as if they are justifying themselves to themselves and proving to everyone else that they are clever and worth the money.
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Thanks, Red! This is what I thought maybe was the case. What a pity people feel the need to do that :(
 
I would measure your stirrups to be sure they are 4.75 then I would phone her (or her superior if she has one) up to discuss it.

I have similar boots in a size 6 and 4.75 stirrups too. Sprenger and JW.
 
It would have been better if she had taken you to one side and said after. But having had similar happen to me, I think this is something to get used to with horses- a lot of people are very 'keen' to voice their opinions with no tact.
I have ridden childs ponys before and preffered not to use the stirrups at all if they are small. I don't know my stirrup size but I'm shoe size 7, there is room either side on my stirrups. I am quite prangy about feet getting stuck I think its really important (seen someone dragged not nice!) so I always use peacocks ones myself.
 
Pebble101 said:
I have Sprenger stirrups and find you need to go a bit larger as the rubber at the side takes up some space.
Click to expand...

I would like to change to these as have a dodgy knee these days- but I have such paranoia about the foot getting stuck! Do these have give in them or something?
 
This is something I face everytime I'm a gear checker for Pony CLub Events.

It is important to ensure stirrups are a sensible width as too narrow the foot can become stuck in the stirrup during a fall, if too wide then the foot can pass through and get caught.

Ideally the stirrup should be 1" wider than the widest part of your boot. Unfortunately shops rarely stock a useful selection. The bent top Simplex stirrup is not as safe as we are led to believe - it allows the foot to slip through the stirrup and become trapped. They used to be very popular here in NZ but are rarely found these days.
 
The woman is totally mad and I wouldn't be surprised if the club isn't exactly oversubscribed. I'm a size 7, wear steel toecap boots and also use 4 3/4 sprengers.
 
FfionWinnie said:
I would measure your stirrups to be sure they are 4.75 then I would phone her (or her superior if she has one) up to discuss it.

I have similar boots in a size 6 and 4.75 stirrups too. Sprenger and JW.
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I've just measured both my boots and the irons, my boots measure almost 3 3/4 inches, and the iron a hair under 4 3/4. (I bought them as 4 3/4) so I've got an inch leeway anyhow. (Still unsure as to how she thought she could tell the difference between 1/2 and 3/4 from 10 paces away :p )


9tails said:
The woman is totally mad and I wouldn't be surprised if the club isn't exactly oversubscribed. I'm a size 7, wear steel toecap boots and also use 4 3/4 sprengers.
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Bless your soul 9tails, I'm feeling entirely better about it all now :)

Tnavas said:
This is something I face everytime I'm a gear checker for Pony CLub Events.

It is important to ensure stirrups are a sensible width as too narrow the foot can become stuck in the stirrup during a fall, if too wide then the foot can pass through and get caught.

Ideally the stirrup should be 1" wider than the widest part of your boot. Unfortunately shops rarely stock a useful selection. The bent top Simplex stirrup is not as safe as we are led to believe - it allows the foot to slip through the stirrup and become trapped. They used to be very popular here in NZ but are rarely found these days.
Click to expand...

I'm in Aus and the bent ones are still pretty popular here. I learned to ride with them, everyone had them, and I couldn't believe how easy it was to keep my stirrups once I changed over to regular irons. I don't think I've inadvertently lost a stirrup since I changed over, in fact, so you could argue that keeping your stirrups means you're less likely to fall off, which is a safer option anyway :p As a knowledgeable person, would you advise I buy a bigger pair anyway? Is bigger better once you get above an inch? If it's going to be a safer option, I'd always want to do what's most sensible and would appreciate your advice :)
 
She sounds like a bit of a rocket . Your boots look fine, not too bulky and that is a pretty standard size of stirrup. I agree that it was a 'power ' thing , and that's why she done it in front of everyone as let's me honest there's not really any need for that at all. Personally I would either avoid her if your keen to continue or give her your opinion and see what she says . She'd actually put me off going back as she seems like she could fly off the handle at anything .
 
Hokuspokus said:
She sounds like a bit of a rocket . Your boots look fine, not too bulky and that is a pretty standard size of stirrup. I agree that it was a 'power ' thing , and that's why she done it in front of everyone as let's me honest there's not really any need for that at all. Personally I would either avoid her if your keen to continue or give her your opinion and see what she says . She'd actually put me off going back as she seems like she could fly off the handle at anything .
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Well, she actually is a little bit terrifying. I saw treat her horse quite unkindly a few times, yanking his mouth with one rein and pinning his head to her foot when he was just jogging instead of walking out of excitement - and that seriously put me off, I hate seeing the bit used as punishment, that's just not on. That's another matter though, and I'm definitely going to ask the group leader what's going on there. I'd not have my secretary doing that!

BUT, the rest of the club seem very nice and welcoming, so I'd hate for a bad egg to ruin it, especially as it's my only local club.
Maybe she was just seeing how I'd handle it, seeing if I'd be rude back to her? People are funny eggs I guess.
 
Your dimensions of boots/stirrups sound perfect. I would try to put it out of your mind, and enjoy getting to know the other members.

The woman sounds like a fruit loop :(

Fiona
 
Ditto FfionWinie, what kind of boots do you have?
ladies irons are not always 4 3/4.. but it completely depends on the type of footwear/boots you have and the width, not shoe size. In fact I have never seen irons as ‘ladies or gents’ and always go by the size. It is a really common area that people are complacent about and while i disagree with the way she did it, the lady was correct to address it with you. I know of 3 people who have had serious falls, resulting in injuries that would not have been so grave had they not had stirrup irons that were too narrow, thus resulting in their feet being stuck and them being dragged or not releasing immediately. You cannot rely on the leather releasing from the stirrup bar. The worst thing is people riding in country style boots, yard boots or wellies, even boots like the mountain horse high riders are wider than a ’normal’ leather boot. I have 4 3/4 irons but i now always make sure i ride in my proper long riding boots or johd boots and chaps. I used to ride in really cosy yard boots in winter - they are advertised as suitable to ride in however they leave barely 1/2 cm either side of my feet in the same stirrups. I agree she was rude but she might also be doing you a favour in the long run.
 
Oh she sounds delightful! Obviously a power thing if she had to speak down to you like that indolent of everyone. FWIW, it's likely the others went quite because they were uncomfortable and embarrassed for you and couldn't quite believe you were spoken to like that in a public way.
If you can definitely fit a thumb width in I would not buy more stirrups, if she brought it up again I would politely and firmly confirm that you can fit a thumb, therefore have no need to change them.
It's a shame that there are so many power-hungry people around that seem to enjoy making others uncomfortable. Hope this hasn't put you off!
 
NeverEver, the OP posted a picture of the boots, which are perfectly sensible, and has explained quite clearly that the irons leave plenty of room.

OP by the sounds of it the woman was pretty out of order and I would agree she is trying to demonstrate some kind of power. She's probably very cliquey and insecure.

Fwiw I am size 8 and use 5 1/4 irons (Sprengers) and they are fine.
 
apologies, skipped a page and missed your picture. Id invite her to come and make a close inspection next time and explain exactly what her problem is :D
 
I'd have said, something along the lines of "Thankyou for calling me young, it's been a while since that happened, but contrary to appearance I am an adult and can make my own decisions, and I'm happy my stirrups are plenty big enough." -all in a very breezy, jokey tone. Hopefully she'd have got the message without it causing too much of a stir!
 
annagain said:
I'd have said, something along the lines of "Thankyou for calling me young, it's been a while since that happened, but contrary to appearance I am an adult and can make my own decisions, and I'm happy my stirrups are plenty big enough." -all in a very breezy, jokey tone. Hopefully she'd have got the message without it causing too much of a stir!
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Perfection! I wish I had the quick wit for responses like this. ☺️
 
I would be speechless with fury. What an insensitive, bad-mannered and over-bearing jobsworth that Secretary is, sometimes a little (and I mean little, she's a pen-pusher) power gives people the impression that they are great God Almighty :/ Grrrrrrrrr.
I would have sidled up to the Group Leader and had a little word about how embarrassed I was by the Secretary.
I would change the appearance of my stirrups (I paint mine black anyway) for my next outing, certainly not changed them unless you really feel they are too small.

I was PC Secretary for many years (so I know about the pen pushing ;) ) also Instructor (hence responsible for tack checks) I would never have dreamed of saying such a thing out loud in front of an audience, tact is everything.
 
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Bleurgh, horrible woman. Call her out on it if she ever does it again. I really dislike this attitude in horses that people like her are part and parcel of enjoying our hobby. It's absolutely not ok to talk to people like that, particularly not in public, and I'd have been appauled if I had been one of the other riders present.
 
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