Babies & Horses?? How do you do it???

[veryconfused]

I have just found out I am pregnant (only about 7 weeks) - and am contemplating what I would do with my horse?

I only have 1, he can be challenging - but on the whole a safe, lovely boy.

I feel awful because my friend also has horses and we keep them together on a livery yard, and she relies heavily on me to things for her - which I do not mind. But obviously I wont be around much now, so she'd either have to give up or pay for assisted livery.

But I have decided I'm not going to ride while I am pregnant, just incase.

I would like to still go to the yard, especially until I am about to pop. So what would you do? Part loan/full loan/sell?

Ideally I would like part loan so I still have days I can do groundwork and go and see him. But would it be better I have a full loaner so they have time to get to know each other during summer before winter sets in? Or should I sell him?

I am very worried I could have a newborn and be given notice to take my horse back, and I wont have the time to look after or the funds to pay for full livery, then have to look for another loaner?

Just wondered how everyone else managed babies and horses??

Thank you

 

[flying solo]

CONGRATS!
What about loaning him 5 days per week,this would suit most people and your still involved?

Babies are easy, they sleep most of the time. I used to leave mine in her buggy next to the school whist i rode or in the car if it wasn't too hot or cold and i could hear her if she cried. (laptop and dvds of the simpsons where a god spend!) Once she got to 2 years old I gave her a bucket and spade to "build sand castles" I could ride for at least a hour without a problem as she was playing away in a corner.

Horses and babies do mix, just be ready to buyit a pony

 

[Spring Feather]

Babies & Horses?? How do you do it???

The same way I kept house, raised older kids, cooked meals, chauffered, shopped, bathed, cared for household animals, ran my business ... the list goes on. Some people just do what needs to be done, others can't. Figure out which one you are and if you can't do it then sell the horse, if you can manage many things in your life then keep it.

 

[Firewell]

Can you not get someone just to ride for you?
Im trying for a baby soon and I've decided to keep looking after my horse, it's good to stay active and fit when your pregnant. I'll probably get people to ride and compete mine and then carry on where I left off once the baby's born.
I wouldn't sell your horse not unless you really want to. My mum had 2 horses a part time job and my sister and myself who were both babies (22 months between us) and she managed, she evented. My sister and I used to go to the stables with her as tots in snow suits, apparently I fell in a bucket and got stuck once .

 

[veryconfused]

I'm just trying to work out whats best for my horse and for baby..

It's all so confusing!

I wont need to work after I've had baby, so I would have to only juggle home, baby and horse (only lol) - wouldnt need to worry about work which is a luxury!

 

[jackpolling]

Hi!

Im 36 weeks pregenant now so cant give you advise on what to do yet all i wanted to say is that when i found out at 12 weeks a worried and paniced like you!But the more my pregnancy went on iv realised how much i still need the horses and it is do able. iv been lucky that i have looked after jack all through and i have a friend whos schooled him and my sister has hacked out.

I initially paniced as hes a fairly challenging 4 year old warmblood, and i didnt feel happy riding. i have lunged etc all through.

Sorry i cant give any fantastic advise, but when babys here i shall let you know! midwife knows alot of women with horses that have a moby sling and the baby just sleeps while you get on with your jobs around the yard! obv not riding, there are ways around everything

please dont panic and sell up as i know if your like me you would massively regret it, as they are our identity and i think a saving grace when childeren can be challenging!

nikkixx

 

[Syrah]

Congratulations!

It's natural to worry and to wonder how you'll cope. You won't really know until baby is here.

Part loan/sharer sounds like the solution for you.

When babies are small, they sleep alot and the fresh air will do them good, nice and wrapped up if it's cold. It's easier than when they get a little older, from about 2yrs onwards when they are growing out of needing naps, are mobile and have no sense of danger at all. You might need a little help with the little one at that stage.

My eldest is 5yrs old, she comes to the yard with me and plays with the YO's daughter. She has been taught what she can and can't do, what's safe etc and understands it.

My 2.5yr old is a different kettle of fish. My horse is on full livery though but the first 3 weeks of owning her, she was on diy. I did the morning very early whilst they were in bed, left her out 24hrs if the weather was good and worked with her after the kids were in bed.

Hubby looks after the youngest now as she's not sensible enough for me to take with me.

All children are different though, yours might be ok to take with you at any age.

Try not to worry about the what ifs

 

[GlamourPuss86]

Mom was riding with me at nearly 7 months gone (had to clamber up several things to get on and off) and put me on her horse at 8 weeks old (was at the royal show a month after having me) so it CAN be done. Believe me my father was as much use as a chocolate tea pot so no help there!

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I don't have that problem

I dont want kids
I don't have kids
Never will have!!!!



so all my time is on my horses

 

[veryconfused]

Hi!

Im 36 weeks pregenant now so cant give you advise on what to do yet all i wanted to say is that when i found out at 12 weeks a worried and paniced like you!But the more my pregnancy went on iv realised how much i still need the horses and it is do able. iv been lucky that i have looked after jack all through and i have a friend whos schooled him and my sister has hacked out.

I initially paniced as hes a fairly challenging 4 year old warmblood, and i didnt feel happy riding. i have lunged etc all through.

Sorry i cant give any fantastic advise, but when babys here i shall let you know! midwife knows alot of women with horses that have a moby sling and the baby just sleeps while you get on with your jobs around the yard! obv not riding, there are ways around everything

please dont panic and sell up as i know if your like me you would massively regret it, as they are our identity and i think a saving grace when childeren can be challenging!

nikkixx

Thank you so much...

I don't think I will sell.. just worrying a lot!!!

I just have seen people try to juggle horses and babies, and it ending very badly! But then they tried to spend all day, everyday down there - which I most definately would not do.

It's just so confusing, and definately wasn't planned! Hence the panicking!!!!

 

[veryconfused]

I don't have that problem

I dont want kids
I don't have kids
Never will have!!!!



so all my time is on my horses

Only 4 weeks ago I was talking to my best friend - and those were my exact words!!!!!

I was more than careful - using 2 forms of contraception, and I have been very unlucky (or lucky, depending on your outlook)!

But now I have found out I am, I am very excited - yet only a month ago I was adiment I was never ever having children!!!

 

[legaldancer]

CONGRATS!


Babies are easy, they sleep most of the time. I used to leave mine in her buggy next to the school whist i rode or in the car if it wasn't too hot or cold and i could hear her if she cried. (laptop and dvds of the simpsons where a god spend!) Once she got to 2 years old I gave her a bucket and spade to "build sand castles" I could ride for at least a hour without a problem as she was playing away in a corner.

My eldest DIDN'T sleep at all, (or it seemed that way at the time). Luckily my horse was in livery because I just wouldn't have managed.

By the time I had my third son the horses had come home, but it still wasn't easy as not all toddlers are happy to be in a buggy or shut in a matted stable with toys. I'm afraid it depends on the temperament of the baby & whether you are a good multi-tasker.

I tend to be the type who is best at concentrating on one or the other, but now the kids are older I have a lot of time to spend with the horses. Quite a few friends have managed to pick up where they left off, but you must have support in able to do that.

 

[trina1982]

Congratulations!!
I think someone has already said it above, you're either a can do person or not. Sadly, i'm not lol, so i took the decision a long time ago to not own my own horse until i'd had the family i always wanted (and for me, this was a good decision because i'm a bit hopeless). That said, it really depends on your situation. If you have family and willing babysitters, an understanding OH and the cashflow I imagine the decision isn't nearly as tough as if you didn't have the above (and i don't, so again i think i was right to hold back from buying a horse pre children).

Enjoy your (obviously meant to be!) pregnancy, the 'fun' starts soon (morning sickness bleaurghh).
Hope you have an easy 9 months.

Trina x

 

[Chester15]

Congratulation. Horses and babies can be done, you just have to be super organised (and it helps if you have an understanding OH who doesn't mind you popping down the stables for a couple of hours a day )

I have one horse and a 3 year old daughter. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with my second child! I also work 4 days per week, shift work!
My boy is kept on assisted DIY so I only have to go to the yard once a day. I found this the best option financially and time wise as I can't afford part livery anymore! I rode until I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter and got my yo to jump him/compete him for me. This time has been the same. I am at the point now where it is getting uncomfortable and I am lunging him most of the time with my yo hacking him once a week.

When my daughter was tiny, she would sleep in her pram at the side of the sand school so I could ride and keep an eye on her. I also had a baby carrier that I would strap her into so I had my hands free to lunge/groom etc etc. She used to love being in there and watching him. As she got older it became more difficult as she didn't want to sit in her pushchair and likes to run around everywhere. She does help out with mucking out etc but if I want to school him I really have to leave her at home with my OH as I can't concentrate on him and watch her and she tends to get bored after a while. I am assuming that I will work things the same way when number 2 arrives although I have just found myself a sharer for him, 2 days per week which will help out a lot timewise and financially.

I am a firm believer that if you want something badly enough, you will find a way to make it work plus my boy is definately one to keep and there was no way I could contemplate selling him. Take some time to think about what you want to do and don't rush into any decisions. Good luck.

 

[mulledwhine]

Congratulations . Ok here is my advice....... Sit down and breath.

You sound just like I was, in a panic.

I , like you, decided to stop riding but continued to do everything else including doing a full mucking out the morning of my c section.

I decided when she was born to put him up for loan. That in my case was a big mistake and if only I had known that by the time she was around 16 weeks old that things change a lot then I would not have done it

I got him back and now even though he died last year my daughter has recently got her own pony.

So relax don't worry and if you can't find a rider he will be grateful of the holiday and the little sticky hands that will soon be lovely to lick xx

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Only 4 weeks ago I was talking to my best friend - and those were my exact words!!!!!
I was adiment I was never ever having children!!!

well congrats to you

1: But as I said Ive never wanted kids !
2: never been maternal !
3: I don't like babies screaming etc have to walk out a shop if i heard one its like nails on a blackboard !
4: Hubby don't want kids
5: I like my independence too much I would hate being tied down . to schools nappies tantrums etc
6: because of my husbands problem---------no sex = no kids( which he don't want as i said)
7: I'm a recovering from Cancer
8: I had hysterectomy because of the Cancer!


so you see 100% Guarantee I wont have kids and boy am I happppppppppppppieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

funny thing is 4 of my liveries and friends also around my age 100% guarantee they don't want kids. lot of us about

but good luck to you.

 

[champ99]

I'm 6 weeks pregnant too, but I'm petrified. I'm 36 (tick, tock, etc) and our families have been putting pressure on my hubby and I to start a family for a long time, but now it's happened I'm worried it might be a mistake

My whole life has evolved around my horses, my work and my independance. We live 200 miles south of where our families come from, so I have no family and no back up near me. My only friends are the people at my yard, and non have children.

I'm getting more and more depressed with every day. I've not told anyone at the yard and I'm going to continue doing everything as normal, for as long as I can. Then if I have to give my horses 6 months off work, then so be it. I can't afford to pay pro riders to excercise them (I dont think I can expect my hubby to pay riders either) and I dont trust anyone enough to loan them out, or allow my horses to be ridden by keen amatuers fearing they might be hammered and injured, or ridden badly, or ridden iresponsibly, etc. If they have to go on livery for a month or two, then my husband will have to find the extra money to pay for it! (I fund my horses 100% myself, but I'm expecting my husband to fund extra services I need because of the pregnancy)

I have told my husband that I will have to have a nanny once it's born, otherwise I'll go insane and feel like a trapped prisoner, but I don't think he took me seriously. I was being very serious. If we lived near some family I'm sure I wouldnt feel so vulnerable, but we don't and there's no chance of us being able to move. I think if I can have a nanny for 2 or 3 hours a day, then I'll still be able to keep the horses on DIY and hopefully I wont be too ill for too long (I have a very low pain threshold!!), and I'll be able to start bringing them back into work, and my life will start to get back to normal as best it can. I'm fully prepared to give up my love of competing, but I'm not prepared to give up my horses and if I can't get the help I know I'll need, then I have visions of social services prosecuting me for being a bad mother, leaving a baby while I look after my horses, etc, etc....... I'm crying again

I'm sorry I sound selfish, but I'm so frightened about a future which seems so alien to everything I know

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Thats another reason I don't want kids as i know social services would do me to cos i would be prepared to leave the brat in the car while i rode .

saying that i know lot of friends who take the kid to the horse and have the car near the school and ride while the kid naps . it can be done .

i have 4 1/2 animals and a livery yard which i would also have to give up and its my buisness we *(hubby and i) and he isn't horsey so we would have to move if i had a kid .

but like i said in another post the ONLY way my horses are leaving me is
1. when its their time
2. if i die first the ILPH are accepting them as a gift in my will.

 

[trina1982]

I'm 6 weeks pregnant too, but I'm petrified. I'm 36 (tick, tock, etc) and our families have been putting pressure on my hubby and I to start a family for a long time, but now it's happened I'm worried it might be a mistake

My whole life has evolved around my horses, my work and my independance. We live 200 miles south of where our families come from, so I have no family and no back up near me. My only friends are the people at my yard, and non have children.

I'm getting more and more depressed with every day. I've not told anyone at the yard and I'm going to continue doing everything as normal, for as long as I can. Then if I have to give my horses 6 months off work, then so be it. I can't afford to pay pro riders to excercise them (I dont think I can expect my hubby to pay riders either) and I dont trust anyone enough to loan them out, or allow my horses to be ridden by keen amatuers fearing they might be hammered and injured, or ridden badly, or ridden iresponsibly, etc. If they have to go on livery for a month or two, then my husband will have to find the extra money to pay for it! (I fund my horses 100% myself, but I'm expecting my husband to fund extra services I need because of the pregnancy)

I have told my husband that I will have to have a nanny once it's born, otherwise I'll go insane and feel like a trapped prisoner, but I don't think he took me seriously. I was being very serious. If we lived near some family I'm sure I wouldnt feel so vulnerable, but we don't and there's no chance of us being able to move. I think if I can have a nanny for 2 or 3 hours a day, then I'll still be able to keep the horses on DIY and hopefully I wont be too ill for too long (I have a very low pain threshold!!), and I'll be able to start bringing them back into work, and my life will start to get back to normal as best it can. I'm fully prepared to give up my love of competing, but I'm not prepared to give up my horses and if I can't get the help I know I'll need, then I have visions of social services prosecuting me for being a bad mother, leaving a baby while I look after my horses, etc, etc....... I'm crying again

I'm sorry I sound selfish, but I'm so frightened about a future which seems so alien to everything I know

And this is why you have a whole 9 months to get used to the idea It will be fine. At the moment all you will focus on is the negatives but it will fall into place eventually. There are very few people that genuinely regret having children and that is because more often than not you are totally blown away by the total raw love that you have for your child, even when life isn't quite so perfect. That love will come, in time. Meanwhile, just carry on as you are and you'll slowly adjust. It's not like you will suddenly be faced with a newborn tomorrow, or that they will be difficult toddlers as soon as they are born. It all happens quite gradually and you will adjust. Be gentle on yourself. It is a scary time but you are doing a totally amazing thing...you are growing a little human bean!

Hope you have a trouble free pregnancy
Trina x

 

[ECRider]

Congratulations
I am 17 weeks pregnant have a horse, two businesses and two crazy dogs. All of my friends thought I was mad to start trying for a baby as they know what a hectic life I have, but I have a supportive hubby which makes a big difference.

I am still riding at the moment (although not as much) and luckily my hubby has started to ride him for me. I have had plenty of offers from other people on the yard and I am sure you will too. If its financial you are worried about, loaning could be a good idea, otherwise maybe someone you trust could ride for you?

Don't fret it can be done you will work it out

 

[mulledwhine]

Btw forgot to add never wanted kids and was told never likely to happen I hopped skipped and jumped out of the hospital the day I was told that. Then one little sucker got through 10years later and I was soo upset tool 2 weeks off work. Ashamedly got drunk the day o found out and could not even hold her when I had my c section. She is now imbelievably my reason to get up in the morning and a joy.

The very fact that I could of harmed her with the drunk thing fills me with disgust. I don't feel like mum just another life to love xxxx

 

[bumblelion]

My baby's 9 months now and I cope! Kept active doing everything myself (no family nearby and non horsey partner to works away!). Horses which are both nut jobs are kept at home! Only thing I didn't do was ride as they're very sharp. Once baby was born she came out to do the horses every time I did, even when we were covered in snow! She just day in her pram asleep! I'll never forget bonfire night. My partner was away, and a few doors down they had a load of fireworks! I was outside reassuring the horses with the radio on, the dogs were with me and I had a baby in my arms having her bottle, all in the rain! She got changed on a blanket on a bale of hay!
She's now started crawling so I put her in a travel cot so I can get on outside! She goes in her car seat next to me when I'm out harrowing the fields!!
Trust me it can be done!!!!
Sorry for any typos, using my phone!

 

[dalesslave]

1) Dont panic too much many people have an awful lot harder situation
2) having a baby is not the end of life its just the start of something very much different for you AND your partner he might have to learn to poo pick and get on with it! (my rather non horsey hubby has actually got quite good at it under my supervision obviously!
)3) Talk to your friend her horses are ultimately HER responsibility you never know she may be willing to help you out after all youve done for her
4) Don't sell because 99% of non horsey people will tell you you will be a bad mother if you dont
5) Talk to your family is their anyone who would be willing to learn to do the daily routine things so if you feel rough or need a hand in the event of a c section you have less to panic about
6) my horse currently thinks his christmases and birthdays have all come at once he's living out 24/7 and my sister is taking him for a hack 2/3 a week he is certainly not stressing that he's not competing or schooling !
7) Enjoy it and your horse there are little baby growers available in full hunt kit !!!

 

[potty_4_piebalds]

I have got a 3 year old he will be 4 in august, I had my son then when he was 26 days old I moved from London to Northampton left my horse in London with friends looking after him so I could find a yard for horse then baby was 6 weeks old and horse came up to live in Northampton. I got a yard buggy sat baby in it baby gets fresh air and falls asleep you get on with horse as normal, sometimes rope nanny in to come up and muck out stable and keep an eye on baby while sat in buggy and I went up the field to poo pick. then baby is coming up 2 and toddling around 15.3 horse so think ah it would be so nice for him to have a pony then along comes mini shettie rope nanny in again to pay for pony nanny not very happy because wants to learn to ride herself but puts off buying a sane cob for herself because she loves grandchild and daughter so much! then my old boy snuffs it and child now 3 loses interest so mini shettie is sold and now none of us have a horse or pony but still go up yard to ride and see friends horses.

It's easy when they are babies its when they are on the move and being sat in a buggy is boring the fun begins!!! but you can still manage waterproofs, wellies and kiddies wheelbarrow are must haves at this stage!!!

 

[veryconfused]

Thank you everyone for your comments!

You have definately put my mind at rest a bit.

I think I will part loan for 5 days a week or full loan to either stay at yard or local - and just ask if I can pop up every now and then do have a little play with him.. I am more likely to do part loan, that way I will still have set days I can "escape" babies!! And wont feel like a bit-part interferring or getting in the way!

He is definately not going out to grass for a break though!! That is last resort! He is far too fat and energetic as it is!!!!!