redmone
Well-Known Member
Hi everyone (I would wave but I can't move anything!!!)
Only joking, actually I'm fairing quite well!!! I've had x3 lessons now, and it's going great!!! I've been mithered by you lot for some time to get my bum back in the saddle, so I've finally stopped putting it off "until I lose some weight and get back in shape" and started have "real life" "proper" lessons, which I've never had before!!!
I'm 34, 5 foot and overweight (12 stone ish) and my riding past has consisted of me "looking after" a loony ginger shetland as a child - we knew two paces - gallop and fall (is fall a pace??) and riding out on holidays (and the odd birthday party!) as an adult, usually in the deserts of Las Vegas!!!
So learning rising trot has been somewhat of an effort for me!!!!
Actually, I'm loving every minute of it. Here's a brief summary of my lessons to date.
Lesson one on "Troy" the robot horse!!! My body was DESTROYED!!!!
I learnt walk and sitting trot ok, my rising trot was not brilliant, and I even did a bit of canter on the ever patient robot horse who I knew wasn't going to get excited and bog off with me!!!! But JEEZ was it hard work. I paid for that for about a week!!!
**Note for diary, buy a sports bra**
Lesson two on the lovely Eddie. About 14.3hh I think (daughter tells me he's a horse not a large pony, but I'm not sure
) awwwww he's lovely!! I'm proud that after x2 years of Dolly I can groom and tack him up on my own. Well actually, he's a bit tall for me to get the bridle on but I jumped and managed it. He was such a dude and I had a lovely instructor who had the patience of a saint with me. Why is my largest concerns about mounting and dismounting??? I've not worried once I'm in the saddle (I mean, I'm crap, I know, but I'm not worried!!!) 
Anyway, Eddie quickly susses me out and realises that I'm not in charge and he doesn't have to do what I say. I make the instructor giggle a lot, and have a few laughing fits myself when my efforts to make Eddie trot end with him walking fast and parts of my body bouncing around like they never have before!!! Seriously, EVERYTHING was moving!!!!! The "bra which is tight and so is probably like a sports bra" was a negative equity decision. It just didn't work.
I end up "chasing" the instructor a bit and finally get a bit of sitting trot! I insist on trying rising trot a couple of times. Oh, it was easier on the robot!!! I'm red faced, pouring with sweat, but extremely happy with how my first "real" lesson has gone. I rode. I bloody well rode!!!
Except then I remember I have to dismount. It looks soooooooo far down!!!! I can't tell you how out of shape, and well, FAT, I feel. OK here goes.
I kick off my stirrups, lean forward and swing my leg. I kick poor Eddie in the arse. I'm sorry Eddie. It was like sitting on a white plastic garden chair and the legs collapsing under you. I REALLY need to lose weight. Anyway I dismount, with a face like I'm doing my first solo skydive! I land like a sack of spuds, but I'm off and on my feet. A success I think!!!! Instructor is still giggling. OK, maybe I'm not ready for the Olympic team just yet 
But I made it!!!
Two days later, I'm.......searches for word that doesn't start with f..........knackered! I hurt in places I didn't know I had!!!!! But it feels good!!! My body is starting to work again! Two weeks to wait until next lesson
Lesson three and I arrive at the stables wondering who I'm riding. I was wondering if I'd get Rosie (she's lovely!), but then panic a bit because she's hogged and so has no mane for me to hold on to!!!!! I'm on Eddie again. BRILLIANT!!!! A known quantity!!! I'm relieved that my second "real" lesson is going to be on someone I know! I know if I kick him, it'll be ok! And the odd tap of the whip won't send me into space!!! So I bounce towards his stable, grooming kit in hand. I groom and tack up, and proudly lead off to the arena. Now roll back a couple of hours.
I said to OH "drop me at stables then you go home and do jobs with daughter" - daughter announced she's "stopping to watch mummy ride". Errrr. Nope. Anyway, after asserting my authority, daughter stops to watch me. And then husband announces he is staying too. Crap. I now need to pretend to look like I know what I'm doing.
I decide I WILL NOT be kicking lovely Eddie in the arse again. I mount first time (was third time, last time
) and with help from lovely instructor, I'm ready to go. I quickly realise that this instructor (who teaches daughter every week, so I know how tough she is!) will not take my giggling fits (to buy me valuable breathing time!!!) and I'm stuffed. She's going to earn her fee, and I WILL learn to ride!!!! I'm trotting within 10 minutes and it's not the lazy trot of before!! Eddie obviously knows this instructor too!!!
I have two choices. I make Eddie trot or she does!!!!! OK. I can do this!!!
20 minutes (ish!) of rising trot later, I'm knackered but chuffed to bits!!! I keep losing my left stirrup (well it's slipping to the middle of my foot) because my ankle won't go down enough (seem to be having a problem with this ankle - it's been clicking and aching since I started riding - constantly clicking, not just after riding - it's just going to have to bog off because I'm not stopping now!!!) and that makes me bounce and giggle and forget to rise!!
I also seem to have a big problem with rising and kicking (or sitting and kicking - you know what I mean!!!) - seems I can't do both at the same time and if I try to give a little kick I stop rising!!! And then end up bouncing and giggling and being chasing by the instructor!!!!
But, I did lots of trot! WAaaaaaay more than before, and I changed my whip over and got on ok! It's going well.
It's time to stop. Poop. I was REALLY enjoying myself and although a bit sweaty (sorry) not as bad as before (wore less eye make up this time so I didn't "run"!!!!) I want to carry on!!! I've actually been watching the clock the last two times, because I didn't have any more energy. This time I don't want it to end.
Crap. It's time to get off.
I'm not going to kick you in the arse Eddie. You put up with me twice now, and haven't done one thing wrong. Even when I've been so rubbish. I'll throw myself on the floor before I kick you in the arse!!!
OK. I really exaggerate my leg swing, it obviously wasn't enough last time. And I'm off and on the floor, and daughter looks impressing. oooooooh yes!!! I can so do this!!!!
Nice one Eddie. I didn't let you down this time and you put up with me again.
I lead him back to his stable and feed him a thank you treat. He's just great and I think I'm falling in love! I'm so grateful to Eddie for suffering me, and for the stables for letting me ride him, and for OH and daughter for supporting me in this. I'm really really lucky.
I'm not aching (sure I will be tomorrow!!!) and I'm feeling chuffed to bits.
I'm finally doing it. Perhaps I will be able to hack out with daughter one day.
Anyway, there's my update. Sorry it's long, and I hope it brought back some memories of when you were as rubbish as me!!!
I've drank all the wine, you can have some pink lemonade (it's REALLY nice!) and all the bounty chocolates I've left from the celebrations tin! Who actually LIKES bounty chocolate???????? OK, you can have some Malteasers too. Dolly likes malteasers.
Thanks all, until next time!!!
Only joking, actually I'm fairing quite well!!! I've had x3 lessons now, and it's going great!!! I've been mithered by you lot for some time to get my bum back in the saddle, so I've finally stopped putting it off "until I lose some weight and get back in shape" and started have "real life" "proper" lessons, which I've never had before!!!
I'm 34, 5 foot and overweight (12 stone ish) and my riding past has consisted of me "looking after" a loony ginger shetland as a child - we knew two paces - gallop and fall (is fall a pace??) and riding out on holidays (and the odd birthday party!) as an adult, usually in the deserts of Las Vegas!!!
So learning rising trot has been somewhat of an effort for me!!!!
Actually, I'm loving every minute of it. Here's a brief summary of my lessons to date.
Lesson one on "Troy" the robot horse!!! My body was DESTROYED!!!!
I learnt walk and sitting trot ok, my rising trot was not brilliant, and I even did a bit of canter on the ever patient robot horse who I knew wasn't going to get excited and bog off with me!!!! But JEEZ was it hard work. I paid for that for about a week!!!**Note for diary, buy a sports bra**
Lesson two on the lovely Eddie. About 14.3hh I think (daughter tells me he's a horse not a large pony, but I'm not sure
) awwwww he's lovely!! I'm proud that after x2 years of Dolly I can groom and tack him up on my own. Well actually, he's a bit tall for me to get the bridle on but I jumped and managed it. He was such a dude and I had a lovely instructor who had the patience of a saint with me. Why is my largest concerns about mounting and dismounting??? I've not worried once I'm in the saddle (I mean, I'm crap, I know, but I'm not worried!!!) Anyway, Eddie quickly susses me out and realises that I'm not in charge and he doesn't have to do what I say. I make the instructor giggle a lot, and have a few laughing fits myself when my efforts to make Eddie trot end with him walking fast and parts of my body bouncing around like they never have before!!! Seriously, EVERYTHING was moving!!!!! The "bra which is tight and so is probably like a sports bra" was a negative equity decision. It just didn't work.
I end up "chasing" the instructor a bit and finally get a bit of sitting trot! I insist on trying rising trot a couple of times. Oh, it was easier on the robot!!! I'm red faced, pouring with sweat, but extremely happy with how my first "real" lesson has gone. I rode. I bloody well rode!!!
Except then I remember I have to dismount. It looks soooooooo far down!!!! I can't tell you how out of shape, and well, FAT, I feel. OK here goes.I kick off my stirrups, lean forward and swing my leg. I kick poor Eddie in the arse.
I'm sorry Eddie. It was like sitting on a white plastic garden chair and the legs collapsing under you. I REALLY need to lose weight. Anyway I dismount, with a face like I'm doing my first solo skydive! I land like a sack of spuds, but I'm off and on my feet. A success I think!!!! Instructor is still giggling. OK, maybe I'm not ready for the Olympic team just yet But I made it!!!Two days later, I'm.......searches for word that doesn't start with f..........knackered! I hurt in places I didn't know I had!!!!! But it feels good!!! My body is starting to work again! Two weeks to wait until next lesson
Lesson three and I arrive at the stables wondering who I'm riding. I was wondering if I'd get Rosie (she's lovely!), but then panic a bit because she's hogged and so has no mane for me to hold on to!!!!! I'm on Eddie again. BRILLIANT!!!! A known quantity!!! I'm relieved that my second "real" lesson is going to be on someone I know! I know if I kick him, it'll be ok! And the odd tap of the whip won't send me into space!!! So I bounce towards his stable, grooming kit in hand. I groom and tack up, and proudly lead off to the arena. Now roll back a couple of hours.
I said to OH "drop me at stables then you go home and do jobs with daughter" - daughter announced she's "stopping to watch mummy ride". Errrr. Nope. Anyway, after asserting my authority, daughter stops to watch me. And then husband announces he is staying too. Crap. I now need to pretend to look like I know what I'm doing.
I decide I WILL NOT be kicking lovely Eddie in the arse again. I mount first time (was third time, last time
) and with help from lovely instructor, I'm ready to go. I quickly realise that this instructor (who teaches daughter every week, so I know how tough she is!) will not take my giggling fits (to buy me valuable breathing time!!!) and I'm stuffed. She's going to earn her fee, and I WILL learn to ride!!!! I'm trotting within 10 minutes and it's not the lazy trot of before!! Eddie obviously knows this instructor too!!!I have two choices. I make Eddie trot or she does!!!!! OK. I can do this!!!
20 minutes (ish!) of rising trot later, I'm knackered but chuffed to bits!!! I keep losing my left stirrup (well it's slipping to the middle of my foot) because my ankle won't go down enough (seem to be having a problem with this ankle - it's been clicking and aching since I started riding - constantly clicking, not just after riding - it's just going to have to bog off because I'm not stopping now!!!) and that makes me bounce and giggle and forget to rise!!
I also seem to have a big problem with rising and kicking (or sitting and kicking - you know what I mean!!!) - seems I can't do both at the same time and if I try to give a little kick I stop rising!!! And then end up bouncing and giggling and being chasing by the instructor!!!!
But, I did lots of trot! WAaaaaaay more than before, and I changed my whip over and got on ok! It's going well.
It's time to stop. Poop. I was REALLY enjoying myself and although a bit sweaty (sorry
) not as bad as before (wore less eye make up this time so I didn't "run"!!!!) I want to carry on!!! I've actually been watching the clock the last two times, because I didn't have any more energy. This time I don't want it to end.Crap. It's time to get off.
I'm not going to kick you in the arse Eddie. You put up with me twice now, and haven't done one thing wrong. Even when I've been so rubbish. I'll throw myself on the floor before I kick you in the arse!!!
OK. I really exaggerate my leg swing, it obviously wasn't enough last time. And I'm off and on the floor, and daughter looks impressing. oooooooh yes!!! I can so do this!!!!
Nice one Eddie. I didn't let you down this time and you put up with me again.
I lead him back to his stable and feed him a thank you treat. He's just great and I think I'm falling in love! I'm so grateful to Eddie for suffering me, and for the stables for letting me ride him, and for OH and daughter for supporting me in this. I'm really really lucky.
I'm not aching (sure I will be tomorrow!!!) and I'm feeling chuffed to bits.
I'm finally doing it. Perhaps I will be able to hack out with daughter one day.
Anyway, there's my update. Sorry it's long, and I hope it brought back some memories of when you were as rubbish as me!!!
I've drank all the wine, you can have some pink lemonade (it's REALLY nice!) and all the bounty chocolates I've left from the celebrations tin! Who actually LIKES bounty chocolate???????? OK, you can have some Malteasers too. Dolly likes malteasers.
Thanks all, until next time!!!
