Back on board but lost my nerve somewhere

pottamus

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18 November 2005
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Well after 5 months of back problems (me), they are nearly sorted and I am back on board my boy. Had a couple of rides on him a month or so ago but then my back went downhill so left it. I am pleased to be back riding again and he needs it as he is fat, bored and out of condition. But it is a scary thing even though I have nothing to be scared off as I did not hurt my back through a riding accident or anything.
Yes, I am worried about him doing something stupid and hurting my back, but there is more to it than that. I was sat here earlier before I went and had cronic stomach butterflies and had to deep breath to calm down. I am worried how he is in traffic and aware that he will be spooking at things he was previously okay with until we both settle...but I should be joyous that I can ride again! What's wrong with me...is this normal? Why am I worrying about things he was previously fine with? Ahhhhhh!
Sorry for the rant...needs must sometimes!
 
A few weeks ago I took my boy out for the first time in months (between treatments for various injuries). The farm next door were doing some work and had 2 tractors running by the gates. I was panicing and barely got him past them even though he has no problem with tractors. So I do know where you're coming from but don't really understand why it happens. It did wear off and we were fine. Now he's off again for a few weeks - just as I'd got the hang of it.
Hopefully it'll wear off the more you do.
 
Only thing I can advise is to look forward and never back - looking back over your shoulder can only bring stress and worry. Remember what a great pair you were and how great you are going to be again and take baby steps one day at a time!
 
I think this worry is purely down to your deep seated concern about injuring your back again. I have a similar fear with my back. I've suffered on & off for years with Sciatica & also knee problems.

When you have been unable to move & been in pain for months & the pain eventually subsides & you feel better again you initially fel ready to go back to normal life. BUT... there will always be a concern in the back of your mind that you could do something that could set you back again.....& after having the pain that back problems inflict then it is natural to fear it happening again.

In short, what you are feeling is normal & natural but you cannot let it rule you. You have to try & put it to the back of your mind & get on with your life....but avoid the obvious things that will start it again...heaving hay bales around, carrying too much in your barrow etc....Good Luck
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