Back stabbing HHOers

only_me

only_me

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Madhector/smarti is not the only one on here to have recieved nasty pms - one other person who USED to be on here, and has left in the past week recieved very nasty pms from very well known HHOers...

I cant believe people can be so nasty, after all when a forum is meant to be fun??

And For those few people that sent these pms - where they said that said person is ruining their horse and shouldnt be riding it (among other things) - get a life.

Not everyone will ride to a pro standard, and I bet you the HHOers that sent the pms dont ride to a pro standard either.
But to say that they are ruining a horse??

The fact that they contacted the owner of the horse and not the rider - how under handed can you be??

sorry for rant, but im going to miss the other person just as much as madhector/smarti.

I just cant believe that the hhoers who did it, did it!!

sorry.
 
Right, I will bite.

I am one of the people involved in this other incident and I will have you know that I at no time sent a nasty PM to the girl who has left, if she told you that then she is out and out lying, I have a copy of what I sent to her and I will gladly post it on here.

The owner of a horse she was riding asked me for MY opinion and I gave it. It was given in good faith, and had the person involved ever asked me for my opinion I would have given the same view, 100%. Now, I have the messages sent to the owner too, so I can show those if necessary.

Of course I have absolutely NO idea of what has been said between owner/rider - and TBH I am really rather cross that the owner has involved me - I certainly shall not ever give my view to a person again regarding a third party, because it seems that nowadays things HAVE to be playground.

As for ruining the horse, potentially, if the horse is continued to be ridden in that way, I believe it could be ruined - MY view, asked for by THE OWNER, and given TO THE OWNER.

I have nothing to hide, posts like this are really very childish.
 
Posts like this are really very childish?

Then how about pms sent to the owner about the rider, and not sending a pm to the rider to suggest if they did x y and z it might be better?
 
You are definately not thick... mad maybe
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Weezy hun, unfortunately it appears you are cursed with the same problem as me. Its HONESTY and INTEGRETY, I always give me opinion 'if asked', if I am not asked I don't, I have often thought of less than positive comments to post on here when reading posts, but TBH I can't be arsed with the hassle of defending MY OPINIONS when people don't agree with them.
What has happened to some users in PM's and RL is really not on.
But we are all different, we have different ideas and different goals. Live and let live.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Posts like this are really very childish?

Then how about pms sent to the owner about the rider, and not sending a pm to the rider to suggest if they did x y and z it might be better?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes they are, see if I had not actually been a grown up and replied, people would have oooh and aaaah and speculated and blown it all out of proportion.

The rider did not ask me for her opinion (why would she), but the owner did, so I gave it to her.

You have no idea of the conversation between me and the owner, and as I am a big person I certainly will not be publishing what she said to me, although I am happy to repeat what I said to her - suffice to say you only know one side of a story, and when that happens things get dangerously out of context.

Oldgit - sad that you are being drawn into this, as you are a big grown up too. I would LOVE to know what has been said, how I said it, what my words were etc! I am 99% sure it won't be what was actually said
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You know what weezy, the fact that you have the view that only "big grown ups" are worth listening to is very sad. Sorry.

Dont forget, the rider only knows one side of the story too - imagine how they feel.
 
Because I cannot stand the fact that people are probably making out that I said something I did not, THIS is my PM to the rider, she PMed me in a rather arrogant way and this is my reply, so that we are all singing from the same hymn sheet and all that...

Hello *************** (don't bother trying to decipher the stars, there are too many
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)

FYI, and for what it is worth, ***THE OWNER**** asked my opinion and I gave it to her. I am not going to fall out with anyone over my opinion as it is that, MY opinion, no one elses and I stand by it.

I think you have the basics to be a good rider, but I don't think you are the right jockey for ***THE HORSE*** - we cannot ride every horse we are given, again, this is MY opinion only. I haven't said anything to have a go at you or demoralise you, this wasn't anything personal, but I always want to help people improve, I cannot help that. If you are interested in knowing my thoughts on your riding then I am happy to discuss them with you, but I don't tend to chuck my opinions on people without them wanting them and willing to listen hence why I have never spoken with you directly.

I have no idea what ***THE OWNER*** has said to you or how she said it, and I am sorry that you are obviously upset with me. My above offer stays open.

Weezy x


There you go, now WHERE was I nasty? And no, she never did reply
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[ QUOTE ]
You know what weezy, the fact that you have the view that only "big grown ups" are worth listening to is very sad. Sorry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ever heard of tongue in cheek?! In all seriousness tho only_me, if you are going to post a post saying that people are back stabbing, then name them. I have NOT back stabbed, I have never said to the rider that I think she is wonderful and then slagged her off behind her back, that is back stabbing, I am not guilty of it. I have posted my PM to her, I am taking the *grown up* stance in this, I won't have people sully my name behind my back, it isn't on.

As for the rider, I have offered my opinion to her, she didn't want them, I am not going to force them on her, so there lies the end of that tale.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Weezy hun, unfortunately it appears you are cursed with the same problem as me. Its HONESTY and INTEGRETY, I always give me opinion 'if asked', if I am not asked I don't, I have often thought of less than positive comments to post on here when reading posts, but TBH I can't be arsed with the hassle of defending MY OPINIONS when people don't agree with them.
What has happened to some users in PM's and RL is really not on.
But we are all different, we have different ideas and different goals. Live and let live.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto the above

I would on many occasion like to say "omg did you seriously think that was a good round" or similar but I bite my tongue as know I would just get shot down for being mean which is just far too much stress than it worth.

If I was privately asked an opinion by example an owner or a rider though I would give it honestly. If they don't want to hear the truth they shouldn't have asked for it. No I haven't ridden at top level but I have to a decent level (SJ & D) and can judge a lame horse from a sound one, and a correctly ridden one from a badly ridden one so I feel I can comment with some confidence when asked to.

As for the case as hand I sent no PMs to anyone but know who is involved. There would be no point in me making any comment good, bad or otherwise to those concerned as I doubt they would take note of my opinion as I have never evented above small unaffiliated (as said SJ and dressage is more my thing!!).

There are two sides to every story and although I think it is sad this person has chosen to leave the forum IF the other people who PM'd the owner/rider were as straight and honest as Weezy you must wonder whether the rider can't take criticism which unfortunately they will always be open to when posting photos and videos on a public forum.

Another hard lesson learnt for both sides in this case I feel and I fear we may also lose some valued members again on both sides because of it.
 
I will not name people for back-stabbing, its up to them to own themselves up, like you did. which shows that you are a big person.

Depends on what your view on back-stabbing is.
 
To be honest I don't see the point in this post at all! if the person has a problem they should deal with it themselves! its like in year 7 when someone "isn't talking to ............" so asks people to tell person stuff on there behalf. The sentiment of being childish is definetly true, and I am the same age as you I think!
 
I don't think someone giving their opinion to an owner is backstabbing....... Surely owners ask other people all the time if they are not sure themselves doesn't that happen in every walk of life?

I do think that it was wrong for the owner to have mentioned any names to the rider as that seems very unprofessional to me .....
 
Jess thank you - usually I steer well clear of this sort of thing on here now, but I refuse to sit by and let myself get talked about when I know full well, and now so does the whole forum, that my PM was NOT nasty!

Ester thank you
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I received a PM at the turn of the year warning me that if i didn't admit who i was (they thought i was someone who'd they'd had dealings with..) i'd be 'outed' on the forum and my reputation would be left in tatters.


Anything to do with this?
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Sounds like the owner who requested your opinion, was harsh and inappropriate in the relay of your opinion to the rider. They should have been more circumspect and a hell of a lot more discreet.
 
It would probably be best if everyone did not drag the owner into this.

After all, they asked for the opinion in the first place so they are not at fault.

I can see both sides of the story - so I find it hard to take "sides" but as no idea of who talking about (tend to lurk) maybe this should end now before more people get hurt?
 
Reading this where is it different from real life owners, riders, horsey friends, only private messages given over a forum where people have obviously get to know each other and respect others opinions.

If you are lucky enough to be given a ride from an owner and an owner has concerns, of course they will ask for opinions from people they trust after all it is "their" horse and they are paying for the privelege of said rider riding their horse.

Sadly, it is a fact of life Pro riders lose rides on horses as owners are not happy, costs, results etc and lets face facts whatever discipline it is not a cheap sport to be an owner in.

As a pro they should "suck it up" thats life these things happen, only really good riders, and riders that realise that maybe they need to learn more or improve further take it as a need to change the others blame everyone else around them.

I have no idea what has gone on, however from an owners point of view, I dont think anyone on here has done anything wrong, it is part of working with horses and by that fact alone people that own them, pay a lot of money for them, support somones career, provide them a living and a chance to get there name known and to the top of their sport it is very unprofessional and childish to behave in such a manner and blame others, they need to look at the reasons why the owner has pulled their horse, even worse to have someone post about it and again blame everyone else.

Maybe they should look at themselves first and to carve a career in a hard industry where there are plenty of good riders struggling for rides, realise that maybe this is the wake up call they need, learn, move on and improve.

It is not the forums fault, but the riders concerned that they have lost the ride, simple as.
 
I do hope that people do not think that they have to take *sides* in this matter, but for me, now knowing that I was being talked about (in an obviously derogatory way), it was my right to put up the PM to clear the air and prove that I have not acted as the OP stated. As far as I am concerned it is done and dusted. The matter is between the owner and the rider as far as I am concerned, other people's opinions are just that, opinions and they don't have to be acted on
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[ QUOTE ]
Posts like this are really very childish?

Then how about pms sent to the owner about the rider, and not sending a pm to the rider to suggest if they did x y and z it might be better?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, this post is childish.

The incident in question is a valuable lesson to learn for this girl. If you set yourself up as a professional, then you have to have a thick skin and accept that your performance will be critiqued - just the same as in any business.

The owner of the horse is essentially the paying client, and they have the right to ask for other opinions if they feel they are not getting a good service for whatever reason. The person who gives their opinion is not at fault either, for giving their honest view to the owner.

Business is business, and the rider needs to realise that if she wants to be a professional, she can't take criticism personally.
 
I think though, every one will take a "side" dependant on the situation!

I hope the rider has not lost the ride, as everyone deserves a second chance, or at least the chance to improve
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Unfortunately because of this and Madhector (or smarti?) people will be that much more careful of what they post and not the full story!

Ah well, suppose life is like a box of chocolates...
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Sorry, past my bedtime and watched forest gump last night!
 
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