Bad day :(

Purple18

Purple18

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Hi Everyone :)


I have had it with the livery yard i'm at is really too much for other people to allow me to keep myself to myself and look after my horse. I have a stressful life and they make it worse. My horse is rising 3 and according to most people there she should be broken in and riding by now. One says she should have been being broken in when i got her. which is a year on 5th March so she was coming up to 2 another thinks i should put her in foal the same lady brought my horse in from the field without my permission because it's her belief that horses shouldn't be left on their own. My horse has problem with being on her own so is left for half an hour extra to help her and she's been a nightmare in the past but is getting better with this routine. I don't like that her horse is in 24/7 but i wouldn't dream of putting her horse out. Why can't i just do what i want to do as long as i'm not hurting my horse or anyone else what does it matter. I would never dream of saying anything like that to someone I might think it but would never say it. yet everyone just says what they like to me and I can't do anything about it. I nod and smile and say nothing, down to nearly getting kicked off before.trying to stick up for myself. My horse is my only release and getting to not be that anymore more stress than anything else.

People probably won't read this but i needed to vent :)
 
Ignore everyone else, its your horse, not theirs. Dont breed her.... breeding for no purpose is IMHO a bit silly. You can back her when you feel ready. Ignore the other people. :)
 
Quietly just start looking for somewhere else to keep your horse.

Try to take no notice of the other owners, they evidently do not have enough to occupy their minds with. Bullying and spitefulness is damaging and demoralising, try to rise above it all.
 
People just have a horrible habit of getting involved in others business, try not to let it get to you, brush it off with nods and smiles but take no notice if u don't want to! I usually put in a few mmmms and yeahs, and then add in a counter argument but so sweetly it does seem like an argument! Lol!
I had it tonight with one of the liveries saying that my horse was underweight! :( now has got me worried he is, but actually he's coming out of winter at a good weight, more on the lean side ready for spring, he was FAT when I got him 9 months ago.
Try not to let people bother you, I know it's hard :)
 
and breathe!

FWIW I don't agree with horses being left alone either, but aside from that!

She's your horse, you break her in when it's right, no sooner.

I was under pressure to break my filly when she was 3, as it was through various circumstances she is now being done at rising 4 and she is a different horses quite frankly.

Smile sweetly, hmmmn and keep walking ;)
 
.is horrid to read and I really feel for you. When the going gets tough we all turn to our wonderful horses for a release and when you are not able to do this without people sticking their noses in your business it is dreadfull. Why some people seem to feel the need to spout off is beyond me, keep your dam opions to yourself and if you can not say anything nice say nothing at all. The people with the biggest mouths are normally the ones who know ****** all and spout off to look like they know what they are talking about. We have had people like that on our yard and thank god they have moved on, but its really not nice when you can not just spend your time with your horse and do what ever you want with out someone shouting their mouths off. At the end of the day if you have to stay there just politely advise them that you will do what ever you like with your horse and perhaps they could keep their opions to themselves. Good luck with it and I do hope that you can sort something out.
 
I bought my girl at just turned 4 and unbacked. I wanted to give her a few months to settle in before I did anything with her but everyone said I should get straight on with it as if I left it too long 'she would get too big and push me around' or 'she'll be bored and develop bad habits'. I made my own decision to leave her until I felt she was ready and just spent time on bonding and teaching her basic manners. Four months later she took to lunging by voice only within a week, didn't even blink when we tacked her up and only second time she was sat on she was happy enough to carry her rider in walk (albeit only a couple of metres). She also has manners to die for. I can wash her, tack her up etc without tying her up or holding her and I muck out her stable with the door wide open and she won't leave until I say 'go on then'.
Anyway I am rambling but the point of the post is just that no one knows what is best for your horse better than you. Ignore the comments and crack on doing what you are doing. Nice to hear of an owner who doesn't crumble under peer pressure. I commend you! :D
 
Delicious_D said:
Ignore everyone else, its your horse, not theirs. Dont breed her.... breeding for no purpose is IMHO a bit silly. You can back her when you feel ready. Ignore the other people. :)
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Thank you :)
AdorableAlice said:
Quietly just start looking for somewhere else to keep your horse.

Try to take no notice of the other owners, they evidently do not have enough to occupy their minds with. Bullying and spitefulness is damaging and demoralising, try to rise above it all.
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I'm looking contsantly :P Thank you :) I try just sometimes it's gets too much.
Tinsel Town said:
People just have a horrible habit of getting involved in others business, try not to let it get to you, brush it off with nods and smiles but take no notice if u don't want to! I usually put in a few mmmms and yeahs, and then add in a counter argument but so sweetly it does seem like an argument! Lol!
I had it tonight with one of the liveries saying that my horse was underweight! :( now has got me worried he is, but actually he's coming out of winter at a good weight, more on the lean side ready for spring, he was FAT when I got him 9 months ago.
Try not to let people bother you, I know it's hard :)
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See this is my problem someone says something/does something and I end up doubting what i'm doing :)


Persephone said:
and breathe!

FWIW I don't agree with horses being left alone either, but aside from that!

She's your horse, you break her in when it's right, no sooner.

I was under pressure to break my filly when she was 3, as it was through various circumstances she is now being done at rising 4 and she is a different horses quite frankly.

Smile sweetly, hmmmn and keep walking ;)
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That's the point tho it's something you don't agree with you not trying to change my view btw more what annoys me about her is she's only been there for two weeks every other livery knows if she really she stressing ( she's only been brought in once in year) they have premission to bring her in she's a dangerous horse at times she really could have hurt her if in the wrong place with a horse she doesn't no.


Can i just pick your brains and ask do you think it benefit your horse to leave her later ? mines no where near mature enough


Thank you ebonyallen :)



Alittlebitofmagic

I don't understand rush people put on themselfs there's so many people i have seen on my yard being talked into breaking them early I'm sticking to my guns :)
 
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Oh and just want to add that although everyone was giving me their opinions on what I should do with my girly, I was very lucky that it wasnt ever malicious - my livery yard was fantastic!
 
Oh yes, leave her if you are not sure.

I was told by a lot of people to long rein and back before mine got too big (she's roughly 17hh now) Honestly she has a much better head on her shoulders now, and is doing really well. I'm just waiting for a saddle check then she'll be backed. I don't envisage any problems tbh.

Honestly, stick to your guns, you know her best!
 
My horse I broke at the ' correct ' time took months to get going (nearly a year before he started to settle under saddle. My one I broke when he was pretty much tacking himself up was walk, trot and cantering round the field within a week. Different characters but proves you have to read them, they will tell you. And tell everyone else to naff off!
 
Persephone said:
Oh yes, leave her if you are not sure.

I was told by a lot of people to long rein and back before mine got too big (she's roughly 17hh now) Honestly she has a much better head on her shoulders now, and is doing really well. I'm just waiting for a saddle check then she'll be backed. I don't envisage any problems tbh.

Honestly, stick to your guns, you know her best!
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I would love to see what would happen if i gave her to them and said fine you back her then they'd run for the hills then. I do have some comments of people saying they don't no how i cope with her yet if they knew anything they would see she is just being a baby.

Rebels see again just proves to me they no nothing I get strange looks at the "she will tell when" I need a more understanding yard i think :)
 
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Just tell them that if you wanted their opinion, you would have kicked their kennel, & otherwise they can shut the **** up. Don't get me wrong, people offering advice or constructive criticism is beneficial to us all. People making numbnut comments like 'put it in foal' isn't remotely helpful, it just proves they are morons.
 
Yep, I regret it now, he was my first breaker, I had loads of advice including from his breeder who had produced his siblings and so I tried to make him fit the mould of what should happen and when. You can't go back with them. I'm lucky now that I've managed to get him back and he has proved a talented but highly tricky horse so whose to say how he would have been left for longer.
 
Littlelegs said:
Just tell them that if you wanted their opinion, you would have kicked their kennel, & otherwise they can shut the **** up. Don't get me wrong, people offering advice or constructive criticism is beneficial to us all. People making numbnut comments like 'put it in foal' isn't remotely helpful, it just proves they are morons.
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Hahaha I wish i had the guts to actually say that the lady is question did this with her own horse which is now a nutter I'm surprised the yard owner hasn't asking or money for the repair of the stable the horse has killed. My horse is calmer then hers and it's two years younger....
Rebels said:
Yep, I regret it now, he was my first breaker, I had loads of advice including from his breeder who had produced his siblings and so I tried to make him fit the mould of what should happen and when. You can't go back with them. I'm lucky now that I've managed to get him back and he has proved a talented but highly tricky horse so whose to say how he would have been left for longer.
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this really makes me feel like i'm doing the right thing Thank you I Don't feel quite so alone and like i'm doing everything wrong:)
 
There is nothing I hate more than unwanted advice. It's so rude, and if they were looking after their horses to a good standard, I might actually be bothered to listen.

I used to be an RSPCA Inspector, so it really grates with me - if I don't know something, I come on here and ask, or do research. I don't know everything, like some people obviously do. ;)
 
Purple18 said:
Hi Everyone :)


I have had it with the livery yard i'm at is really too much for other people to allow me to keep myself to myself and look after my horse. I have a stressful life and they make it worse. My horse is rising 3 and according to most people there she should be broken in and riding by now. One says she should have been being broken in when i got her. which is a year on 5th March so she was coming up to 2 another thinks i should put her in foal the same lady brought my horse in from the field without my permission because it's her belief that horses shouldn't be left on their own. My horse has problem with being on her own so is left for half an hour extra to help her and she's been a nightmare in the past but is getting better with this routine. I don't like that her horse is in 24/7 but i wouldn't dream of putting her horse out. Why can't i just do what i want to do as long as i'm not hurting my horse or anyone else what does it matter. I would never dream of saying anything like that to someone I might think it but would never say it. yet everyone just says what they like to me and I can't do anything about it. I nod and smile and say nothing, down to nearly getting kicked off before.trying to stick up for myself. My horse is my only release and getting to not be that anymore more stress than anything else.

People probably won't read this but i needed to vent :)
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and breath :D:D

Try wearing an ipod all the time you're up there. Personally there's nothing wrong with leaving them to grow up - the pics I have of my mare at 3 and the ones at 4 show how much she grew and filled out in that year, makes me very glad we didn't really ride until she was 4. The longer your girl is left the longer her working life is likely to be.

The other thing to try is when anyone gives 'advice' simply smile and say something along the lines of 'thank you for the suggestions but I have my reasons for doing things this way and I'm not changing it as this works for me and my horse' and walk away. (I know it's easy to say and hard to do :rolleyes:)

The lady that brought your horse in I would be talking to YO about as she has no right to handle your horse. I would be making this quite clear and try to make it clear to the lady as well
 
Dont take everything so personally, others are probably just wanting to see you get going with her, you wouldnt like it if they completely ignored you, and as for bringing the horse in, would you be complaining if she had hurt herself for being left out on her own, let alone the churning up of the fields in this weather, most horses are happy to come in by the end of the day and youngsters shouldnt be left out on their own thats my opinion.
 
slightlyconfused said:
Hugs and don't worry, my friend didn't back hers until he was 9....she got him as a rising four year old. Still did all ground work with him.
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Thank you :)
Shysmum said:
There is nothing I hate more than unwanted advice. It's so rude, and if they were looking after their horses to a good standard, I might actually be bothered to listen.

I used to be an RSPCA Inspector, so it really grates with me - if I don't know something, I come on here and ask, or do research. I don't know everything, like some people obviously do. ;)
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You just pretty much said what i was thinking :P The point is aswell i do sooo much research of things i'm unsure about or just don't no about yet I don't go saying anything to others grrr..
mynutmeg said:
and breath :D:D

Try wearing an ipod all the time you're up there. Personally there's nothing wrong with leaving them to grow up - the pics I have of my mare at 3 and the ones at 4 show how much she grew and filled out in that year, makes me very glad we didn't really ride until she was 4. The longer your girl is left the longer her working life is likely to be.

The other thing to try is when anyone gives 'advice' simply smile and say something along the lines of 'thank you for the suggestions but I have my reasons for doing things this way and I'm not changing it as this works for me and my horse' and walk away. (I know it's easy to say and hard to do :rolleyes:)

The lady that brought your horse in I would be talking to YO about as she has no right to handle your horse. I would be making this quite clear and try to make it clear to the lady as well
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Lol thank you :) the lady who did that got some pretty dirty looks :P I don't think she'll do it again :)
putasocinit said:
Dont take everything so personally, others are probably just wanting to see you get going with her, you wouldnt like it if they completely ignored you, and as for bringing the horse in, would you be complaining if she had hurt herself for being left out on her own, let alone the churning up of the fields in this weather, most horses are happy to come in by the end of the day and youngsters shouldnt be left out on their own thats my opinion.
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Get going with her ? that's comment sounds to me like rushed way of thinking to me she's barely 3 and still no where near mature enough to cope with being broken in imo. No i wouldn't like them to totally ignore me but they can talk to a me without pushing their views upon me . My annoyance with the lady that brought her in, was that she had see this horse for a matter of 2 weeks and didn't no anything about her she the type of horse that is very on edge and dangerous at times. I don't want to put in the sitaution like before where she is sooo attached to any horse near her that she will not move without the other horse near. I am unable to do anything if she in brought in at the same time she wants it to the second and I cannot make sure life is like that she has to learn to stand on her on 4 feet on not relie on the others it not my idea but it how it has to be to actually. as I said before other liveries who no her no if she is really stressed (which has happpend once in a year two inculding this lady) they can bring her in.
 
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ive just bought a rising 2 yr old sec D colt ( 2 in may) and the girl i bought him off said to me are u going to start breaking him this summer then? i nearly fell over!! rising 2!! i pretty much told her not to be so ridiculous! hes tiny!! i will be waiting until he is at least rising 4 before i even think about starting him. just tell them politley that your not interested in breaking her until shes 4 ( or whatever age your planning :) ) that you'd rather let her mature on her own.
 
vixiem said:
ive just bought a rising 2 yr old sec D colt ( 2 in may) and the girl i bought him off said to me are u going to start breaking him this summer then? i nearly fell over!! rising 2!! i pretty much told her not to be so ridiculous! hes tiny!! i will be waiting until he is at least rising 4 before i even think about starting him. just tell them politley that your not interested in breaking her until shes 4 ( or whatever age your planning :) ) that you'd rather let her mature on her own.
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I got told the same thing from my YO when i got my horse at rising 2. Rising 4was what i thinking tbh I just want her happy and comfortable I wouldn't care if it was 5 or 6 or never:) xx
 
vixiem said:
ive just bought a rising 2 yr old sec D colt ( 2 in may) and the girl i bought him off said to me are u going to start breaking him this summer then? i nearly fell over!! rising 2!!
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I got asked this by a judge when showing once! 'What do you do with him' well he is 2 so he plays in the field with his chums most of the time. 'What you haven't started breaking him yet?' nope :)

OP stick to your guns and do what you think is right for your horse. For what it is worth my section D colt who is 4 next month looked a bit bum high the other day and he's just had a growth spurt and when I measured him he is over an inch higher behind.

Having a rant on here is good and use that ipod ;)
 
Bigbenji said:
I got asked this by a judge when showing once! 'What do you do with him' well he is 2 so he plays in the field with his chums most of the time. 'What you haven't started breaking him yet?' nope :)

OP stick to your guns and do what you think is right for your horse. For what it is worth my section D colt who is 4 next month looked a bit bum high the other day and he's just had a growth spurt and when I measured him he is over an inch higher behind.

Having a rant on here is good and use that ipod ;)
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Thank you :) I feel better knowing i'm not the only one waiting :)
 
I've been told to get my rising 2 yr old 'bitted', erm no wont be doing that until she's going well under saddle in years to come!, just wait till I tell everyone Im all for riding bitless, barefoot ha! I've just moved to a yard and learning the smile sweetly, grit teeth and nod, it is frustrating though.
 
Hehe, I just smile, nod and say "ah, well we'll see" I am probably considered a half wit for it quite frankly :D

Agree with the Ipod, what a marvellous thing, total dispensation to walk around being vague!

Have to say though since I moved to a new yard, I'm not getting any busy body problems at all, and anyone who has given a suggestion is qualified to do so through experience not from a book/mag/forum!

My horse can be very difficult coming in from the field, for that reason I have asked that nobody bring her in except me unless in an emergency, I would be absolutely horrified if anybody got hurt. Maybe try approaching it from that persepective with this lady?

Or of course it may have been a yard rule where she has come from, and she is just carrying on ? Either way, I would have a nice chat with her and make it totally clear what you want. I know personally I would always bring the last horse in, I would feel irresponsible not doing so, so I wonder if this is not such a bad thing that she did. Just saying I would bring in the last horse on autopilot tbh! She may not be being deliberately difficult at all.

Another thought, can she and you arrange a time to bring the pair in together?

I'm rambling now ;)
 
Foot print

I'm gald i'm not the only one :)




Persephone said:
Hehe, I just smile, nod and say "ah, well we'll see" I am probably considered a half wit for it quite frankly :D

Agree with the Ipod, what a marvellous thing, total dispensation to walk around being vague!

Have to say though since I moved to a new yard, I'm not getting any busy body problems at all, and anyone who has given a suggestion is qualified to do so through experience not from a book/mag/forum!

My horse can be very difficult coming in from the field, for that reason I have asked that nobody bring her in except me unless in an emergency, I would be absolutely horrified if anybody got hurt. Maybe try approaching it from that persepective with this lady?

Or of course it may have been a yard rule where she has come from, and she is just carrying on ? Either way, I would have a nice chat with her and make it totally clear what you want. I know personally I would always bring the last horse in, I would feel irresponsible not doing so, so I wonder if this is not such a bad thing that she did. Just saying I would bring in the last horse on autopilot tbh! She may not be being deliberately difficult at all.

Another thought, can she and you arrange a time to bring the pair in together?

I'm rambling now ;)
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I'm not sure but I think she might have had a problem getting her in I didn't ask but will when i next see her. I did think about the possible chance of this lady being hurt which is what i'd want i'd feel awful. I think the main thing reason is the lady owns her own yard and I think she just forgot that she's just a livery while horse is being broken in at the livery yard where i am as is has no school at her yard so is will go back when the training is done. It's not really what she did it was how she did it that bothered me.

I tried to explain and was told well i don't beileve horses such be left out on their own.I just felt so annoyed like my opinion didn't matter it was 4pm she had probably been on her own for what half an hour probably less I normally get up at for around 3- 4pm . So I don't actually no wether she was upset or not i'm guessing not as she wasn't sweating under her rug or anything. Her horse is in 24/7 I don't no the reason why.If I put her horse in the field because i beileve they shouldn't be in 24/7 I would be doing the same as her but I wouldn't dream or doing that I would probably get a warning from the YO but when it's me that it happens to i have to let it go. It's really hard up there people never bring in at the same time it could be 3pm or 7pm or somewhere in between everyone does there own thing there's no real routine for everyone else i try my best to make sure she isn't left on her own for long. It was working fine til this lady came every horse on there is stressed down to hers bucking and rearing and kicking the stables walls all day and night . she just made/makes me feel so down right rubbish.She only staying for 3 more weeks I think...
 
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