Balancing horses and life?

A

Asher

New User
Joined
13 May 2017
Messages
5
Visit site
Hi everyone, new poster here because I need some help! :)

I am from South Australia, I'm 22 years old and I have a gorgeous stock horse gelding.
I'm feeling stuck in a rut and I'm not sure how to get out! I live with my parents and work full time (plus an extra stable job 5 mornings a week) putting away money for my own house and paying expenses for my horse. I've just started a new job 2 months ago in a field I'm really interested in with heaps of room for progression (not horse related) and I'm also studying a certificate with aims to study a higher qualification next year.

I keep seeing all my friends out competing and eventing every weekend and that's what I really want to do but I'm struggling to balance life, finances, time and horses? I work very long days so I can't ride before/after work so that leaves my days off, but I'm often so tired from my two jobs that I don't ride. After I pay my agistment, buy feed, new rugs, get my horse shod and everything else I'm lucky to squeeze in a lesson every second month and a show/competition once a month.

My little gelding is super talented (we have won our last couple of dressage test outings), but we need more lessons and competition exposure! My parents also don't have heaps of money so can't pay for many lessons or show expenses, although they do try and they are awesome!

So basically, any advice? How can I make more time and money for horses? I just don't know how everyone can be training, competing and having lessons, AND working to support themselves too? I'm so desperate to learn and improve on my horse. Please help! :)
 
I was in this exact same position a while ago and I got a sharer. It took me a while to find the right person but when she came along it was great. She paid £30 a week and all the money she gave me I put into competing and training. It benefited her because she had a lovely horse to ride who was fit and schooled enough to take out and gave me some time to breathe and the funds needed for the extras. All depends on who you get but if you've got an easy horse it shouldn't be too hard to find someone,
 
Thanks Mrs.G, I had considered this idea. I suppose my main concern is if I shared him, and if we both had a desire to compete and have lessons that we might clash with wanting to attend the same events, or who gets priority to take him to shows? Would a sharer be happy to ride on only allocated days, being my work days? I've never done it before so there'd be lots to consider. :)
 
You can work out the competitions and lessons between you to suit you both - as you're hardly getting out at the moment, clashes are unlikely!

You certainly can specify that they only ride on your work days, but (assuming you work Monday - Friday) many sharers will be at work on those days too. You might need to sacrifice a weekend day to find someone good.
 
I guess I'd say welcome to the world of being a grown up. It's not easy and in your early 20s you won't have much cash... Ask for money from everyone for birthdays,Christmas etc and put that in a lesson/ competition fund... I guess this is the decisions you have to make as a grown up because it's not likely to get better time wise (in many cases the money situation can but with rent/ mortgage and kids it can get worse) I have 3 jobs, 4 horses and 2 kids and I'm twice your age so you either work out how you can make it work for you or you don't, I've done this by working long nights so I work less in the day but it depends on your chosen career. A sharer is one option, going to bed later is another, selling your horse is another to allow you to get more qualified and thus earn more money in less hours (I took this option in my 20s but it was hard.. It has made my life easier in general)... Otherwise find someone rich and marry them!;)
 
I basically suggesting another job but Babysitting is a good and easy way to earn £30+ just for sitting there, you would be able to take your work and do that too!
 
I know it's going to be hard, which is why I'm trying to sort something out now before it gets worse! Lol ��
Bitsnbobs: At the moment I'm working 5 days a week, they are 10.5 hour days PLUS my hour of stable work in the morning on weekdays, so staying up later isn't an option unless I turn myself into a zombie. There's no way I could sell my gorgeous horse, there's just too much we haven't achieved together yet. I'm seriously hoping someone rich walks into my life hahaha

I am knackered SpringArising! �� Might have to consider dropping my stable job in the next few weeks, but earning that extra $$$ in cash each week is amazing. I'm suck with kids, can't babysit LOL

I suppose my major conflict is horses vs career. My certificate and job work are related and will allow me to study a higher qualification next year, and I'm super passionate for the field, I was very lucky to get this job. But all my friends are seem to be managing jobs and horses and I'm not sure how? I think their parents are rich and can drive them to horse events every weekend?
 
I think to some extent this is life, as a horsey adult!

You just have to be organised & realistic - I really enjoy hacking & dressage & whilst there is no way I'd be able to make a high level dressage or endurance rider we make realistic plans based on what we can do. I predominately ride for pleasure but I've really enjoyed competing in online dressage, as you don't need to travel to a venue and all the rest of it so takes much less time & expense. Can you hack to venues instead of needing to box up? Again, it makes it much cheaper! We have a venue 4 or so miles away & it makes a great warm up too.

We take lessons when we came and don't when we can't. I'm pretty thrifty when it comes to buying stuff - unless my horse 'needs' it, I rarely indulge. Sure, some of my friends have £70 saddlepads & mine might have cost £20, but does it matter? I'd rather save that money towards non-horsey adult life.

Day to day, I don't always feel like riding when I've finished late or stick in traffic, but I'm always glad I do ride afterwards. Can yiu tey making yourself ride even if youre tired? Ride first & then do your jobs - even if I just aim to do so 30 minutes hack, once I'm out I feel so much better for riding. Likewise, if I'm struggling for time in the evening, I'll ride first thing. Yes a 4.30/5am alarm is horrid but once I'm up and on, it's all forgotten about!

A sharer isn't an option for me, but I do buddy up with other liveries & use assisted through my Y/M to bring in/turn out/holiday cover.

It's a compromise- but it's all doable if you want it enough. Remember, just because the grass looks greener, it doesn't mean it is :)
 
After feeling very similar for a long time, one reason I have discovered my friends are able to do more is that they are from far wealthier backgrounds. Unfortunately, as much as I like to think otherwise at times, this lifestyle is a hell of a lot easier if you have rich parents!
 
Completely agree MuddyMonster, once I can drag myself out and ride I really enjoy myself, but my exhaustion then builds up and then I'm useless! Awesome that you can ride to a venue, I have to drive anywhere but we do own a nice towing car and float that I'm learning to tow and building confidence to tow by myself. :) I'm the same for buying things- I cant justify hundreds of dollars on a saddle blanket, or a pair of boots.

Sometime I think I was born in the wrong family Jennie! Where are my rich parents who can buy me expensive show jumpers and drive me around the country to jump them? :p
 
Just use the free time you have wisely. If you're really serious and dedicated about wanting to go out and compete then use whatever time you have even if you are tired. Totally know how you feel, I have a very busy life and am up from 6 and don't even get back into my house until 9pm most nights! But I read a quote the other day which really inspired me, it may help you too. 'Don't get home from a busy day at work and not work on your own goals. You're not tired, you're uninspired' I love it! Really reminds me why I do spend the time working on my horsey goals when I would really like to be chilling out for once!!
 
Asher said:
I suppose my major conflict is horses vs career. My certificate and job work are related and will allow me to study a higher qualification next year, and I'm super passionate for the field, I was very lucky to get this job.
Click to expand...

Just read this! It sounds like your career is taking off at the moment and this will benefit you long term. Why don't you just carry on doing what you can with your horse at the moment and focus mainly on your career. Then once you're getting closer to where you want to be in your career you can afford to relax a little and concentrate on the horses. I always find I get really stressed when I'm trying to fit too many things in and make good progress in everything. So just choose one thing which you can really put your all into for now until you have more leeway to do both. Sounds like it's your career that needs your attention at the moment!
 
Jennie951 said:
After feeling very similar for a long time, one reason I have discovered my friends are able to do more is that they are from far wealthier backgrounds. Unfortunately, as much as I like to think otherwise at times, this lifestyle is a hell of a lot easier if you have rich parents!
Click to expand...

I've seen this too. In my 20's I was working full time, paying for a horse on DIY, giving 1/3 of my wages to my mum, and running a car. My friends were living at home for free, had cars/lessons bought for them, a petrol allowance and a clothing allowance, so all their wages went on having fun.

In the horse world I don't know of any 20 somethings who are living independently, paying their own way and competing at anything other than occasional unaffaliated shows on their native or cob crosses. Those who are competing seriously and having lessons, riding competition type horses that live in a lot, having the vet for every scrape etc, those people are either having their parents pay for their horse, transport and competing, or they live at home paying nothing, driving someone elses car, with all their wages going on horse related things and their social life. The people I've met in their 20's who are focussed on their career progression working 50hr+ weeks like you are, don't have horses (apart from the minority with a share horse for hacking/schooling), when they reach their 30's and 40's and their job pays enough for full/part livery then they go back to horses. Their are exceptions to this but the majority of working people I've met on livery yards fit into these categories.

I'd say you're tired because you're expecting too much of yourself.
 
Thanks thegreenergrass, I do really like that quote! I think I am feeling stressed because I'd love to get the most out of horse, and the most of out myself in my normal life too.

It does make me feel not so alone that others have experienced this too! Feeling a little more inspired to 'keep on keeping on' so thanks for everybody's input. :) :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top