Be my voice of reason

Paint Me Proud

Paint Me Proud

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As my other thread, that was really starting to help me, got pulled (thanks!) can you kind people carry on in this thread.

I need some voices of reason to help me think through my current dilemma.

Me and Chico are currently having a fall out and I am considering selling him, but as he is seemingly unsalable I am stuck in a confused and slightly helpless state. Help.
 
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have a look on http://horses4homes.net/ they are a brilliant website for placing horses in a great home for share /loan or sale for a nominal sum .they do home checks and you screen the potential new people yourself. also you might find a super schoolmaster for yourself !:)
 
Oh no - only just posted on that, why on earth was it pulled? It sounds as thought you have had a really tough time time lately and it's all getting you down (understandably). Maybe give yourself a bit of a time to have a think as to what you realistically can achieve with Chico.
 
Not sure if you got my last thoughts. Understand the need to enjoy what is a very expensive hobby!!

A good horse that you can hop on and have some fun with that is truely geniune and sound will put you back £6-8k - do you have this? If not the debate is a bit academic.

Why not put the word out that you'd like to loan him, or even an add, and see if you can find him somewhere sensible to go where you can still be in ultimate control of his future.

That will give you some time and space to see what you really want from your riding, even if you can't buy more experience you might be able to loan something that's taking a step back from hard core competing.
 
I did reply earlier on the thread and was going to put more then it was gone.

I would suggest several things to think about doing before you try and sell, get the loading sorted so you can plan to do things with him, possibly look at moving yards, somewhere with regular comps on site or clinics to do without needing to travel, maybe more likeminded people that want to do the same as you, not sure what your current yard is like but sometimes you get in a rut and a change can give you motivation.
A different instructor or just a few lessons with someone offering new ideas, maybe they will get on him and improve his way of going, possibly get them in to school him once in a while so he progresses a little more.

He looks more than capable of doing whatever you want, the devil you know is often the best bet, you are due for some good luck with him now, make the most of him and enjoy the next stage of his education.
 
I wouldn't rush selling him at the minute. You don't seem to be in the right frame of mind considering that you aren't getting on well you may later regret selling him. If you could afford two I would suggest you have him out 24/7 turn him away completely no riding or anything and maybe try again in six months an he may come back a different horse. In the meantime either have lessons on something more advanced or if you can afford two take one on loan for yourself. Therefore if it doesn't work out with the loan you may be grateful to have Chico and if it does work out it may be less difficult to make the decision to sell.

I do think it is just a blip though and he is only 7 so maybe having his terrible teens a bit late and may come to mature into the horse you want.
 
Why was it pulled? Nobody said anything even vaguely contentious!

I personally think carry on, have lessons, get someone to get him loading, get it and have fun with your boy. :)
 
attheponies said:
Oh no - only just posted on that, why on earth was it pulled? It sounds as thought you have had a really tough time time lately and it's all getting you down (understandably). Maybe give yourself a bit of a time to have a think as to what you realistically can achieve with Chico.
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I think this is it in a nutshell. I took on a second job 6 months ago and have been working A LOT and have been so busy with everything.
Just feel that when I need to come to the yard and just let of steam and have some fun that I cant, Chico is either sprouting a new sarcoid or being a dilbert to ride.

I love him to bits and want so much to do all the things I want to with him. We just need some help and a bit of good luck for a while.

Could look into a new instructor maybe, I had started taking him to the local riding school a few weeks before his colic last year. If we can get him loading again I would like to start this again.
 
You are frustrated and confused which is understandable as you are not getting what you want from Chico.

Getting a new horse will not solve this though, you could be taking on unknown health issues or behavioural issues, it could go lame the day after you get it home. You'll have to get to know it from the beginning.

The loading issues with Chico CAN be fixed, worked at it, get a professional in if need be, but it can be overcome which will mean you can get out and about more.

Don't think about all the things you haven't done with him in the 3 years you've had him, think ahead to the things that you still want to do and take the steps to get there. Have lessons, get out and about, have fun and enjoy him. There's no reason he can't do all the things you want to be doing but it's up to you to make him the horse that you want him to be. You CAN do it.
 
cinnamontoast said:
Why was it pulled? Nobody said anything even vaguely contentious!

I personally think carry on, have lessons, get someone to get him loading, get it and have fun with your boy. :)
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Think someone must have thought I was advertising Chico, which is funny considering the general consensus was 'dont touch with a barge pole' LOL!

I am just frustrated today because I tried a pressure halter that everyone said would solve his loading issue but just managed to make him more difficult and rear. Think i got my hopes up and he crushed them today.


However, I have a professional booked for loading help. She is coming 3 weeks time :)
 
Maybe give it a little time before you make the final decision to sell. I am having a really bad time with Stan at the moment too but people keep telling me to stick with it and it will come right and I do love him so much. Set yourself a time limit like "If I still feel this way in 6 months I will look at options to sell" then just take it easy for the next little while And just get back to enjoying him. that is my plan anyway. Good luck Hun.
 
What does he do that is fun, rather than focus on what he doesn't do, can you spend a few weeks coming up after work and just hacking or having a blast over some poles.

You could spend £8k on a schoolmaster that passes a 5 stage vet that then has to be put down with liver failure within 4 months (happened to a friend of mine!) - there's lots of risk in something new.

I agree with suggestions to move yards, change your expectations and make it fun again - whatever that means.
 
I haven't read about ur ridden problems but I remember how obvious it was that u loved and cared about him so much when he had colic and went for surgery. Don't give up on him now. Get rid of the negative mentality, think of all the things Use can do, and start setting urself small realistic and achievable goals. It's nearly summer, things can only get btr
 
thanks all, some real words of common sense here, just what I need to hear at the moment.

I think I will stick with him for now. Like Kinnygirl said, maybe if i still feel the same after the summer I can reconsider.
 
It is incredibly frustrating and disappointing to have a non loading horse. I know exactly how you feel. I think if you could solve this, then you would feel much better.
So I think you are doing exactly the right thing and getting help with this. Good luck, I hope you make progress.
 
Hi If its any help i think you need to move to a new yard and leave all the so called "experts" behind. If you need help, which we all do now and again, seek a professional. Not someone who thinks they are, and can't wait to give well meaning but ill advise, making matters worse.

Your horse may have a few issues but is certainly not unsaleable, the present climate for selling horses is difficult. If its no fun then perhaps its time to find your horse a super home. If you're both inexperienced then it may be best for you both, you're not giving up just doing what's best.
 
Why don't you send him for a few weeks professional schooling?

Then you get a bit of a break and some one else can work through the issues your having. I didn't see your other thread so I don't know the details but I'm sure a professional will have dealt with them several times before and wont be emotionally attached to the situation.
 
I replied on your other thread. Don't know if you saw it.

In a nutshell: I have had my first horse 2 years. He was very green and at first it did feel like we were getting nowhere (although we had quite a lot of fun). I couldn't find a saddle for him, his back was sore, he has a tilted pelvis and had muscle wastage and there was the weather and the school holidays etc.

But just recently he has come on so much (as have I). I have a lovely YO - I am on a very small yard so no intimidation, pressure or comparisons with other people, I have a great instructor (who I can't afford to see as much as I should) but for the most part I have read books and worked with him slowly on my own. I haven't had to contend with the serious health issues you have had with Chico.

It just sounds like your confidence has been completely dented and it might be worth working out a plan to get some helpful support and advice.

I have just found it immensely satisfying to see us both improve and if you could find a way to raise your confidence levels I am sure you could begin to enjoy your horse again.
 
I was out so never saw the pulled thread .
Cheer up PMP it's been a hard spring and everyone is pissed off .
Indulge yourself with a flick through dragon driveing I know I generally disapprove but tonight I will let you off.
 
Really sorry to read that you are feeling so down. Give yourself some time to be really sure what you want to do, don't throw away all the good work you have done, as others have said any new unknown horse could have the same problem.

You have always come across as so caring and fond of Chico, and your loading problems a really difficult to sort out. But you have some one booked to come and help you, a positive step forward.

Do consider moving to a yard where you would be able to do things without travelling so it becomes much less of an issue, where there would be staff who could help you and where for training purposes you could leave a trailor out in a field for him to become more used to it.

I know actually moving him would be hard, but you could book help for that day.

Hope you feel better soon
 
Give it a couple of months? Try and get out to some shows and lessons (join a local rc?) Hopefully the loading pro will help, if not perhaps it is an idea to consider other places where you could hack to some things.

If by July you are still feeling the same you will have put a bit of mileage and experience on him and made him a little more saleable hopefully.

Another option would be sharing him with/loaning him to someone more experienced.

Its not the end of the world to admit you're with the wrong horse and change.
 
dafthoss said:
Why don't you send him for a few weeks professional schooling?

Then you get a bit of a break and some one else can work through the issues your having. I didn't see your other thread so I don't know the details but I'm sure a professional will have dealt with them several times before and wont be emotionally attached to the situation.
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This- getting someone who does 'horses' professionally to help you out by breaking the back of the problem without any emotional attachment to the horse can be hugely beneficial to all parties. And that way, if you do decide to sell, they might be able to help you find him a new home?
 
After a good nights sleep I'm feeling better this morning. Been up to turn him out.

I'm not going to try to load him now until the professional comes as i only get disheartened every time he doesnt load.

I do have a sharer who does him twice a week so I get a couple of days break from it all, and she is very good with him.

The local showing field is only round the corner from the yard so is within hacking distance but I always seem to be working the weekend it's on :(

It doesnt help that at work we have just moved from the old school building into a brand new, multi-million pound, building and I'm not the best person at coping with change. So i think the stress of finding his sarcoid on Monday just tipped me over the edge into a negative spiral.

Give me a week to pick myself back up and I'm sure my post on here will be more positive.


I had a browse on horsemart and felt happier about Chico when i didnt see anything at all that I thought would be nicer to have than Chico.

p.s Goldenstar - already be perusing DD, makes me feel better :o:)
 
Glad to read you are feeling better :) I advertised my boy when I had lost heart with him but writing the advert I thought perhaps he isn't that bad after all and then thought I might get something worse so then wouldn't let anyone come and see him (apologies everyone who 'phoned/emailed!). My boy doesn't load so I do empathise but I am going to get a chap to help me who solved my friend's loading problems - took some time but they got there. Good luck, I'm sure the improving weather will help.
 
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