being asked to sell?

[Shavings]

So i own a 6 year old little Tb gelding who many of you know has had many ups and downs over the 3 years i have had him just to name a few:
ulcers
staples in his head
and last winter he had Si damage

i myself have not ridden him his November last, though a lot of bloody sweat and tears (from me) and my wonderful vet he has come though the other side and i have now just this week be given the green light to get on for a small walk

however in his recover to this point i was advised by the vet to find as light a rider as possible for him to start the rehab work under saddle, this i did we shall call her A

A worked at my yard and has been riding him 3/4 times a week with me present and i have to say considering his small amount of schooling prior to this he has taken all very well ( he is a ex racer)

any way on Tuesday night i am in the indoor walking him over poles in hand and then raising them up (part of hi rehab work, vets believe by Christmas he will have made a full recovery providing he doesn't do some thing silly in field and undo all of it!) so in hand work has been the most i have been able to do with him though this whole process and to me i don't care, he is my best friend he has been with me though more tears and fears then i would like to explain.. i have even been known to go to the yard in the early hours of the morning, ie when i cant sleep and its 2 am i get in the car drive the 20 mins down to the yard and just sit in the stable or on the field gate n my PJs he is my happy place, even if he hadn't come back from all this he would be with me, he owes me nothing but i owe him the world.

any way back on track! yes Tuesday night doing our in hand work and A walks in the indoor and makes of fuss on him, 5 mins later the yard manger walks in and is chatting away (at this point she is doing the evening checks on all the horses) out of know where the yard manger says "A, you should buy him! i mean he isn't for you is he Shavings, you need a cob! not a TB, You should buy him A"
A " oh yes he is lovely isnt he?"
at this point i am lost for words,smiled nicely said "oh we must get back to our work or you will never be recovered!" turned horse round and carried on our in hand work

but right now i dont no how to feel about this! he i not for sale nor in the time i have owned him has been!

what would you do?

PS wine for you if you got this far and understood

 

[Mince Pie]

This is probably going to sound a bit rude and invasive but how much do you weigh and how much does A weigh? Also are you at a good weight for your height or could you stand to lose a little?

 

[SaddleUpSin]

'He is my best friend'

"Sorry, he's not for sale, he's my best friend. I'm sure you'll understand."
If you want to sell him, you will sell him. Whether you do or not is 100% at your discretion. Maybe if she's really fond of him and you need the help, you could offer the chance for her to continue riding him after his recovery on a part-loan basis once a week or something? Day off for you, riding for her, stability for him x

 

[ljohnsonsj]

I wouldn't worry, if anything i'd take it as a little compliment that your lovely little horse makes people feel like that!

I got called to the judges box recently at a big bs show at northcote and asked by a very popular commentator if I would sell my mare. Understandably in this sport it's common and 'everything is for sale' but It felt lovely to turn around and say sorry no, i'm keeping this one for me! He still asks me every time I see him to this day! I take is as a compliment my home produced 5yo has people wanting her

 

[Hilary'smum]

Ignore for now. Should subject be revisited smile nicely and say, "IF he is EVER for sale I will be sure to let you know".

You sound like a great partnership. Long may it continue

 

[EQUIDAE]

Someone offered me £4.5k for my pony as a 6yo - at the time I said no way! However in the past two years my riding has improved and I have outgrown her to some degree. I have recently sold her for £4.5k on recommendation of a home. I don't think I could have bared to advertise her but the home she has gone to are so ideal it would be a shame not to sell...

 

[Shavings]

This is probably going to sound a bit rude and invasive but how much do you weigh and how much does A weigh? Also are you at a good weight for your height or could you stand to lose a little?

I dont wish to put my weight on here but i am 4 stone under his carrying weight when weighed with my tack and i am always watching it for him, even the vet has agreed i am well under what he can carry

but A is only 7 stone and so many pound so she is tiny!

 

[Irish gal]

It's up to you about selling, but it's definitely worth thinking about, if he's not ideally suited to you. I say this as A is your absolute best option, as with all the problems he has he would be very hard to sell in the normal way.

If she's great with him and you trust her to give him a good home, why not. That's if as the YO says you are not suited to him for whatever reason. Perhaps he's perfect for you, who can say, without all the information.

 

[FlyingCircus]

Sounds like A was just being polite.
Why would she want to buy a horse that is currently going through rehab that she already has the ride on?

ETA: Sounds meaner than intended...but doesn't make it less true!

 

[ihatework]

Sounds like a typical off the cuff remark many horsey people will experience at some stage.

Shrug it off with a smile on the assumption you would never consider selling or if it was said in jest.

 

[claireandnadia]

'He is my best friend'

"Sorry, he's not for sale, he's my best friend. I'm sure you'll understand."
If you want to sell him, you will sell him. Whether you do or not is 100% at your discretion. Maybe if she's really fond of him and you need the help, you could offer the chance for her to continue riding him after his recovery on a part-loan basis once a week or something? Day off for you, riding for her, stability for him x

I think the same as this. Just take it with a pinch of salt and IF you ever decide to sell then you can cross that bridge when/if you come to it.

 

[Annagain]

Why does the YO say he isn't for you? Is he too much for you to handle or is she just referring to weight? As you have the vet's ok weight wise, I'd only consider it if either you can't cope with him and so you'd make each other miserable or if he'd have a much better ridden life with her. I doubt he'll ever have a better overall life than he will with you as you clearly adore him.

 

[SaddleUpSin]

Though I have to say
"A, you should buy him! i mean he isn't for you is he Shavings, you need a cob! not a TB, You should buy him A"
I would be tempted to have a word with the yard manager as I feel this is disrespectful. Nothing serious, just that I feel like it wasn't her place to suggest to someone that they buy my horse which isn't for sale under the implication that I am not suited to my own horse. I wouldn't want any bad feelings just that I felt it was untoward and unprofessional. Overstepped the boundaries in my opinion.

 

[booandellie]

Ignore the yard manager's comment- A might be slightly lighter but that in NO way means she would be a better owner than you. I have read your posts in the past and it sounds to me your horse is lucky to have you as his forever owner - it was probably just a thoughtless throwaway comment and one you shouldn't dwell on.

 

[Mince Pie]

Why does the YO say he isn't for you? Is he too much for you to handle or is she just referring to weight? As you have the vet's ok weight wise, I'd only consider it if either you can't cope with him and so you'd make each other miserable or if he'd have a much better ridden life with her. I doubt he'll ever have a better overall life than he will with you as you clearly adore him.

But she doesn't, the vet said to find a lightweight rider hence A being in the picture. I didn't mean to be rude, Shavings, it's just that if vet and YO seem to think that perhaps the horse may not be... not 'wrong' but perhaps not the best match for you, then I would possibly look at selling to A.

 

[Damnation]

Though I have to say
"A, you should buy him! i mean he isn't for you is he Shavings, you need a cob! not a TB, You should buy him A"
I would be tempted to have a word with the yard manager as I feel this is disrespectful. Nothing serious, just that I feel like it wasn't her place to suggest to someone that they buy my horse which isn't for sale under the implication that I am not suited to my own horse. I wouldn't want any bad feelings just that I felt it was untoward and unprofessional. Overstepped the boundaries in my opinion.

This was my thought. I know Shavings personally, I also know that A then asked if Shavings would ever sell him when the YM left them. I wouldn't be too amused as in my view it sounded like the conversation was set up for A to ask. All YM has done in my view is get the hopes up of a young girl. YM is more than aware of the money, time and emotion that has been put into making this horse sound and comfortable and I would feel it very underhanded that she even suggested a sale. Shavings has no issue controlling the horse so we have no idea why the comment was made.

Shavings is no way too heavy for her horse, but during his rehab it was felt that a rider as possible was beneficial. Shavings I believe has been given all clear by the vet herself. For health reasons she can't have a cob because they are too wide!

I've told her she needs a word with YM.

 

[Annagain]

But she doesn't, the vet said to find a lightweight rider hence A being in the picture. I didn't mean to be rude, Shavings, it's just that if vet and YO seem to think that perhaps the horse may not be... not 'wrong' but perhaps not the best match for you, then I would possibly look at selling to A.

Shavings said YO said he "wasn't for her". I wonder if YO and A cooked up the situation between them as A wants him or if YO genuinely thinks he's too much.

 

[Shavings]

But she doesn't, the vet said to find a lightweight rider hence A being in the picture. I didn't mean to be rude, Shavings, it's just that if vet and YO seem to think that perhaps the horse may not be... not 'wrong' but perhaps not the best match for you, then I would possibly look at selling to A.

no offence taken i know i am not as tidy as A and i never will be

the yard manger thinks every one should be out competing and although i enjoy fun shows i dont go out to the big things or the show jumping ect, where as A does and would take him here, there and every where

i was worried about the weight that is why i weight my self with saddle in hand in front of the vet and he said no your 4 stone under dont panic, he said it was just better to start with a light rider for what damage had been done and how long he had not had a rider one

 

[Damnation]

But she doesn't, the vet said to find a lightweight rider hence A being in the picture. I didn't mean to be rude, Shavings, it's just that if vet and YO seem to think that perhaps the horse may not be... not 'wrong' but perhaps not the best match for you, then I would possibly look at selling to A.

The vet has never said the horse isn't for her, just that as lightweight a rider as possible was beneficial to the rehab process. Shavings has since been given the all clear.

 

[Annagain]

This was my thought. I know Shavings personally, I also know that A then asked if Shavings would ever sell him when the YM left them. I wouldn't be too amused as in my view it sounded like the conversation was set up for A to ask. All YM has done in my view is get the hopes up of a young girl. YM is more than aware of the money, time and emotion that has been put into making this horse sound and comfortable and I would feel it very underhanded that she even suggested a sale. Shavings has no issue controlling the horse so we have no idea why the comment was made.

Shavings is no way too heavy for her horse, but during his rehab it was felt that a rider as possible was beneficial. Shavings I believe has been given all clear by the vet herself. For health reasons she can't have a cob because they are too wide!

I've told her she needs a word with YM.

We cross posted Damnation. In that case Shavings, smile sweetly and say you'll never sell him!

 

[Goldenstar]

You don't need to say anything OP .
Just smile and carry on.

 

[Shavings]

This was my thought. I know Shavings personally, I also know that A then asked if Shavings would ever sell him when the YM left them. I wouldn't be too amused as in my view it sounded like the conversation was set up for A to ask. All YM has done in my view is get the hopes up of a young girl. YM is more than aware of the money, time and emotion that has been put into making this horse sound and comfortable and I would feel it very underhanded that she even suggested a sale. Shavings has no issue controlling the horse so we have no idea why the comment was made.

Shavings is no way too heavy for her horse, but during his rehab it was felt that a rider as possible was beneficial. Shavings I believe has been given all clear by the vet herself. For health reasons she can't have a cob because they are too wide!

I've told her she needs a word with YM.

thank you

yes it is true i have had 14 ops on my right leg and due to this wide horses make it painful for me to ride, so a thinner horse was needed, after being very unsure i found my gelding and fell in love he is a true gem, my step son takes him to and from the field (with me around!) he really is the TB with the cob brain, only think he lacks is schooling and that is just due to injuries i haven't been able to school him, i have a lovely teacher on board who was giving me lessons twice a week until this happened and who has been supportive all the way though, also we have Richard Maxwell visiting our area in October and i have a slot with him

i never want to do wrong by this horse he really is a member of our family (some humans members i would like to remove from the family but that is another topic!)
i was happy walk, trot and cantering him before this happened the only problem i have us jumping due to the past injury to my leg from a different horse

 

[Illusion100]

Correct me if I'm wrong and although I fully undertand why, it appears this comment from the YO has been taken personally by you. I would take it personally too and I think your YO was a bit out of line, however my advice is don't let it get to you.

Put it out of your mind and carry on with your precious lad doing what you feel is best for him. Everyone has an opinion but that doesn't mean you have to take notice of it.

Good luck with the ongoing rehab and looking forward to future updates.

 

[Mince Pie]

no offence taken i know i am not as tidy as A and i never will be

the yard manger thinks every one should be out competing and although i enjoy fun shows i dont go out to the big things or the show jumping ect, where as A does and would take him here, there and every where

i was worried about the weight that is why i weight my self with saddle in hand in front of the vet and he said no your 4 stone under dont panic, he said it was just better to start with a light rider for what damage had been done and how long he had not had a rider one

Ah right, I see. In that case keep the horse and possibly look at moving yards, from Damnation's posts she sounds a little 'off'.

 

[Damnation]

Ah right, I see. In that case keep the horse and possibly look at moving yards, from Damnation's posts she sounds a little 'off'.

It sounded very staged to me which isn't very professional on YM! Set up so A could ask to buy the horse..

 

[9tails]

I would be very disappointed with the YM's comments and would have a sharp word telling her to mind her own effing business.

 

[Amye]

Yes, I think the YM was out of order. Especially saying that you are better suited to something else. It's clear you can handle your horse and take great care of it.
I would ignore on this occasion, if similar happens again I would have a word and politely say he is not for sale!

 

[SaddleUpSin]

Glad everyone agrees that its out of order!

 

[MargotC]

The conversation does sound staged by how it reads and if that is indeed the case it deviates into rude territory IMO.

What is next? Suggesting someone sell their house to their housekeeper because it suits them better to manage?

 

[Micropony]

Well the most charitable interpretation of that is that your YM was being tactless and a bit of a busybody, the least charitable is that she had cooked up a plan to try and get one of her staff a horse on the cheap! Either way, I think she owes you an apology, although whether you can be bothered to seek one if it's not spontaneously offered is another matter.

I think you should forget all about it and carry on exactly as you please, however that is.