Being there when your horse id PTS

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spottydottypony

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I am getting my 9 year old boy who i have had since the age of 9 months PTS tomorrow morning. He is badly lame due to joint deformities, i have never rode him and i rescued him from the meat man many years ago. It really breaks my heart to put him to sleep but i have been advised by my vet its the kindest thing to do because he is suffering. I want to hold him when he is being put to sleep but i dont think i can physically do it, i cant stop crying and i am an emotional wreck. I really dont know what to do as he only knows me and feels safe with me but i dont want him to sense any sadness or stress. Has anyone else had to deal with these emotions and what did you end up doing.
 
If you are likely to break down and cry etc, hand him to someone else and it will be less stressful for him, huge hugs xx
 
I am sorry to read that. :(

I've always been there and all I can tell you is that the waiting for it is (for me) much, much worse than the doing. If you know in your heart (as you obviously do) that you're making the right decision for your boy, then once the vet arrives it all ticks on from there and adrenaline kicks in: it actually helps me stay calm and cope.

If you feel a sense of relief with the grief, followed by guilt that you felt it, that, for me, is also normal.

And a third time I say, this is just MY experience and everyone's different, but I would always want to be there as the person my horse trusts, right until the end.

I wish you strength for tomorrow and am sorry it has turned out like this.
 
I held mine when she was PTS. I'm pretty good at holding myself together until they're gone though.

Only you can make this decision and if you feel you'll be hysterical I'd say let someone else hold him.

Big hugs xx
 
I would get someone else to hold him - ideally someone else who knows your horse but if that not the case then it is hard.

I get overwrought and emotional too and it is not fair to your lad as he will pick up on your emotions unless you can control them.

hugs and be strong whatever you decide
x
 
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Easy to give advice I know people who have held their horses as they want to. I know its not for everyone and I am in that situation when I know its going to happen(he is on borrowed time on bute etc).

I am determined to be on the far end of the rope as I dont want him getting suspicious of whats going on. BUT I think if I was going to crack up would rather ensure he has a bucket of carrots/pony nuts or a huge feed and they do it whilst he is stuffing his face.

Lots of people tell me not to be there but I want to. Who knows I could change my mind.

I am going to have a bloody good cry afterwards but not before if I can be that brave. I have heard all the good stories though as to how kind they are when they come to PTS.

Good luck is the wrong words but you know what I mean.Think of you tom.
 
Sorry to hear about your boy :(

When my lad got PTS I wasn't with him (thought it would be best with all the crying going on) and I've never regretted anything more...
 
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I stayed with mine as he knew me best and I wanted him to feel calm. Waiting for the vet I was crying but when the actual time came something kicked in and I managed to be calm. I wanted to be there to pat him and just talk to him etc.

As others have said this is just my opinion. If you feel you can't, then no one should make you feel you have to.

Hugs for tomorrow x
 
I held mine when he was PTS last year. I didn't look at what the vet was doing, just stayed at his head talking to him a feeding him polos untill the vet asked me to hand him to her while she helped him down, this only took a couple of seconds, then I was able to go over and give him a huge hug and a snog.

It was all very quiet, calm and quick.

Big hugs for tomorrow.
 
Thank you for all the kind reply's. I think i will try my best to hold him but i look at him and cry at the moment. Its because all my other horses in the past have died from old age related problems. I have two 36 yr olds still going strong he is still very strong in mind but not in body. I will try my best to be there for him
 
i was around, i got them in, fed them massive feeds etc, then passed them to a friend, let them be shot and once they were still i went and said goobye again. i dont know anyone that can hold their own horse. i not sure about euthanasia, but i think if you going to be very upset prob best to pass horse over to a friend and go back if you want once they still. preference really, i find seeing them once its over calming, because its done, the worst part is over and they quiet and not suffering anymore
 
I have had two ponies PTS. The first was by injection. The knackerman was already there with the vet. The vet sedated the pony and I led her out of the stable. The knackerman said "Do you want me to hold her?" which I agreed to. The vet and knackerman were brilliant. She was a small mare and they lowered her head to the floor very gently as she went down. I was there but had to do nothing. They told me to go away while they loaded her to take her away.

The second one I decided to have shot. The same knackerman came out. I had told him I didn't feel I could hold her, he brought out his FIL, who started the business. Again I led the pony out of her stable. FIL took over and they told me to go and make a coffee. I had walked all of 6 paces and the deed was done.

They cleared up any blood and were very professional throughout. I owe those guys a lot.

I think only you know if you can handle the situation. If you are going to be upset probably best to get someone else to deal with it though you can be there.
 
I planned to be with my horse but as soon as the vet asked if I was ready to hold him I couldn't do it. Luckily my good friend was there and she stayed with him instead.

I'm not sure I could be with any of mine. If there was no one else to do it I'd just have to make myself - but I'd make them more distressed I'm sure.

Do what ever you feel is right for you both. X
 
Have someone as back up..you just won't know. I was adamant I would be there. However I went to pieces whe n mine was due to go so vet sent me off as he said I was stressing my horse more. I have held friends horses for them as they knew me but was so upset with mine as i could not cope. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
 
Ive done both. I think if you are not going to be able to hold it together, you might be best not to hold him, if you might upset him.
Also, the method you choose would have a bearing for me. Ive held the horse for the gun and I really really shouldnt have. That noise has stuck with me and it made me quite ill for a while after.
The last time I said my goodbyes beforehand and then sat outside while the injection was given.
Do whatever you think will be best for you and him, and if that means handing him over to a kind friend to hold, no-one will blame you for that.
 
This is such a personal decision.

The only thing I can add is when my 2 went last year (together) I got great comfort knowing the last thing they heard was how much I loved them, they went with love, heads cradled in my arms.

Sorry, have set myself off now! Good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you xxx
 
You have to do what you feel is right for YOU as well as your horse. It is not a pleasant memory of a loved horse and one that you have to think hard about if you can cope with.
Some people feel that they HAVE to hold their horse. If you want to thats fine but it is also absolutely ok to get a trusted friend / instructor / vet etc to deal with it. You have already made the best decision for your horse to PTS if he doesnt have quality of life.
There are some things that you dont need to see. I have held several horses for friends to be PTS but would struggle to hold my own.
I was unlucky enough to be standing at an X/C fence when a horse broke its leg. The (very well known) event rider couldnt bear to be there so I held the horse. There is no shame if you dont want to. If you do hold him drop the rope and walk away as soon as the job is done. Sorry you have to go through this.
 
One thing I'd like to say though, whatever you decide is ask someone to be there when his body is taken away. My friend did it for me when my girl was PTS and I did it for her girl when she was PTS.
 
so sorry you are having to go throught this... i held my first horse and managed to hold it together till he was gone but my friend took me away while they removed the body and i am pleased i didnt see that. my other 2 (on separate occasions)were both sedated by the vet first and i stayed with them till they were very dopy and were not really aware , i walked away and had only gone a few steps when the shot was fired...i did not look back..and again had friends to be there for the removal.....i found this method worked for me and have already discussed this with my current vet so i will do the same for my current horse when the time comes.....hope this helps and dont feel guilty whatever you decide , it has to be right for you....
 
I was there for my cat when she was PTS (Not the same as a horse, in the sense that she wouldn't 'go down' or be dangerous in anyway) and I am so glad I was there, even though not a day has gone by where I haven't had a horrible nightmare or flashbacks to the event. Watching her die was the worst thing I have ever witnessed, but I would have felt so guilty if I wasn't there for her.
I hope it's a long way off, but I have thought about it with Ned, just in case something happens and I honestly don't know if I could.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow <3 *hugs*
 
Sorry to hear about your boy :(

I'm also thinking about in the future when my boy has to be pts and I dont think I would be able to be there as would be crying too much.

As others have said it is a v personal descision.
 
I feel for you. The time leading up to the actual event is the worst part of it, always so many tears and you think you cannot cope. I have always been with my horses, there have been many over the years. I can't really say it gets any easier, but there is no way on this earth that I would let someone else hold my horse as he takes his last breath.

We are all different, whatever you decide, I hope you make the right choice for you and your horse.
 
The week before Ellie was pts I was in bits. I couldn't even bear to see her for a couple of days as it upset me so much, OH had to go to see to her for me.

On the day I wasn't sure if I could hold her. It was just me, OH and the knackerman, but when the time came a sense of calm came over me and I was fine. It helped that I knew that I was doing the right thing for her. OH couldn't face it and hid behind a bush, but he helped the knackerman with the bindings when it was time to get her on the lorry. I knew it was going to be very undignified and was down at the other end of the field with the other horses then.

As others have said, it is a personal choice and a personal experience, but I know I am glad I was with Ellie, it was much more peaceful than I would have imagined, and that helped me grieve.

Sending {{{hugs}}}
 
When I had Silver PTS last month I chose to have him sedated and shot. I lead him down to the feild entrance, fed him lot of polos till he fell asleep, the vet took his rope once he was all sleepy, I turned around and walked away, he didn't raise his head, just stayed asleep. The vet shot him, he was down instantly. When everything stopped I went back.

Although people may not want 'details' I will say this, seeing my boy dead on the floor was pretty horrific. The eyes will be open, they can't be closed like with people, you may see some twitching still. As he was shot there was blood, not a huge amount, some out of the nostrils, mouth and wound. If the fellmonger isn't coming straight away have some rugs to cover him over. I waited at the yard for the truck to come and watched him be loaded. Then cleaned up afterwards, nearly 10 years of our life together was over in a matter of 30 mins start to finish.

But I was there and I know I would of regretted it if I hadn't been there untill the end. When it was happening I was calm and knew I had to be there for him, please do what you are happy but I had no other option for me in my head.
 
I have arranged for my OH and friends to help take him away i seen my friends horse after she was PTS and i thought it was worse than that. He is having the injection, he is such a big lad i am worried how he will fall. I know he wont feel anything though. All my friends on the yard are very supportive, most of them have been through the same thing. Not looking forward to tomorrow, today has been the longest day of my life! Im going to miss him and so will my 4 yr old fell pony who has grown up with him :(
 
I have no words of advice to offer, but I would say that I feel this is a very personal decision that only you can make.

Whatever you decide, I hope tomorrow will not be too traumatic for you.

Keeping you in my thoughts.:( (((((Hugs)))))

C xx
 
its heart renching, i felt like i had been run over, and was going to implode inside myself and rip apart all at once. but, take each day as it comes, you are doing the right thing, your friends will be there and help you through. you have another pony too, when you are ready that pony will also help, i didn't ride for a month after wards, but i did go and just sit with my remaining mare, it helps, gives you something to continue to get up for each day, and it will get better. my thoughts will be with you tomorrow as i'm sure everyone elses will be too.
 
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