Being told to sell a horse?

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Abby&Apollo

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So my horse isn’t exactly easy, he’s a tb and has his moments. For a while people have been telling me to sell and get something ‘smaller and safer that you can have fun with’. We have an amazing bond and I know it, it’s just difficult times but we get over it.
I had a nasty fall the other day XC (not his fault), and I am now full of stitches and bruises, and EVERYONE is telling me to sell. He has ‘potential’ but I’m ‘not the right rider to show it’.
(This is on a livery yard).
I really feel like if we take it slow we will get to where we want to be, I’m not scared of him. We’re moving yards where we will be getting multiple lessons weekly, and my instructor will be there most rides (he’s always on site).
So would you guys sell? Or stick to your gut?
 
A few days ago you posted about the horse bolting out hacking and you decided to go xc schooling?
I'm guessing you're quite young and have a lot of life to experience, but please take proper, professional advice and do things safely
 
TheMule said:
A few days ago you posted about the horse bolting out hacking and you decided to go xc schooling?
I'm guessing you're quite young and have a lot of life to experience, but please take proper, professional advice and do things safely
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We’re moving yards and will have a regular instructor from now on. Yes it was stupid to take him and I will now admit that, lesson learnt. But he was perfectly behaved the whole way, it was just the last jump. I really don’t want to sell.
 
fidleyspromise said:
What happened XC?
What are instructors telling you?
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Just on the last fence it was a little bit scarier and he stopped as i don’t think I rode forward enough, ended up with me faceplanting.
My last lesson about a month ago she told me we were a good match and she can’t see why we can’t get where we want to be .
 
Abby&Apollo said:
We’re moving yards and will have a regular instructor from now on. Yes it was stupid to take him and I will now admit that, lesson learnt. But he was perfectly behaved the whole way, it was just the last jump. I really don’t want to sell.
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I did wonder whether this is the same issue as the "bolting out hacking when going into canter" thread the other day.

I will not comment on the wisdom or otherwise of taking this horse out to do XC when you were unsure as to whether you had any brakes, OR the fact that you might well have had a very lucky escape as far as injuring yourself is concerned.

I would make the observation that one day you might just not be so lucky........... you alone know whether you are prepared to run that risk.

My gut feeling is that this horse sounds like he might be a good enough sort, but there are obviously issues you need to sort out; and you may have to be prepared to go back to square one and somehow refrain from doing fast work like canter or XC for a while at least. If you are not prepared to put aside what you may regard as a "fun" day, or a good hoon, for the sake of "sorting" your horse, then I think you may come to regret that long-term, as you may end up with a horse that injures you, and which - if you did decide to sell at that point - frankly will have the tag "unmanageable" and will only be worth meat-money. Sorry, perhaps I am sounding harsh, but this is the reality of horses that are allowed to get out of hand and/or throw their rider and get a certain reputation.

I think you should not make any decision hastily: I would be inclined to take your horse to the new yard where you will have regular instruction - and take the advice of your instructor. If he/she suggests nothing but lunging and schoolwork for the foreseeable future for e.g., then you will need to decide whether you want to take that advice.

Ball in your court I think. I think you need to make your own mind up about this issue, yes friends can advise and give their opinion (as can all of us on here it has to be said) but ultimately it is YOUR horse and YOUR decision. This horse sounds like he may well be very talented, albeit currently green and/or needing some work, and I wish you both the best of luck for the future.
 
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MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
I did wonder whether this is the same issue as the "bolting out hacking when going into canter" thread the other day.

I will not comment on the wisdom or otherwise of taking this horse out to do XC when you were unsure as to whether you had any brakes, OR the fact that you might well have had a very lucky escape as far as injuring yourself is concerned.

I would make the observation that one day you might just not be so lucky........... you alone know whether you are prepared to run that risk.

My gut feeling is that this horse sounds like he might be a good enough sort, but there are obviously issues you need to sort out; and you may have to be prepared to go back to square one and somehow refrain from doing fast work like canter or XC for a while at least. If you are not prepared to put aside what you may regard as a "fun" day, or a good hoon, for the sake of "sorting" your horse, then I think you may come to regret that long-term, as you may end up with a horse that injures you, and which - if you did decide to sell at that point - frankly will have the tag "unmanageable" and will only be worth meat-money. Sorry, perhaps I am sounding harsh, but this is the reality of horses that are allowed to get out of hand and/or throw their rider and get a certain reputation.

I think you should not make any decision hastily: I would be inclined to take your horse to the new yard where you will have regular instruction - and take the advice of your instructor. If he/she suggests nothing but lunging and schoolwork for the foreseeable future for e.g., then you will need to decide whether you want to take that advice.

Ball in your court I think. I think you need to make your own mind up about this issue, yes friends can advise and give their opinion (as can all of us on here it has to be said) but ultimately it is YOUR horse and YOUR decision. This horse sounds like he may well be very talented, albeit currently green and/or needing some work, and I wish you both the best of luck for the future.
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I couldn’t have said this any better. I am prepared to stop all the fast and fun work to get him back normal. Lesson learnt the hard way but I know now. As for being unsure XC, I knew he would be good as he’s always impeccably behaved when being trailered to a new destination. I am planning to get to this new yard under the instructor and go from there.
 
If you're going to do the sorts of things you are posting about, with this particular horse, then I rather think you should invest in a good First Aid kit. Or sell the horse and get something that will help you learn to be a better rider, and retire the First Aid kit. Hint: Option B.
 
If people in real life who have seen you and your horse and know what has happened have no say in what happens the good folk of the forum won't either. If you don't want to sell, don't. Hopefully the new yard/instructors will help you both. Do be aware that written word can come across as much more literal than if you say it in life, so "bolt" may mean he actually just tanked off a little in real life...on the forum it means he bolted. So don't get into a habit of saying things a little exaggerated (unintentionally) because thats how it will be taken..at face value.
 
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
I did wonder whether this is the same issue as the "bolting out hacking when going into canter" thread the other day.

I will not comment on the wisdom or otherwise of taking this horse out to do XC when you were unsure as to whether you had any brakes, OR the fact that you might well have had a very lucky escape as far as injuring yourself is concerned.

I would make the observation that one day you might just not be so lucky........... you alone know whether you are prepared to run that risk.

My gut feeling is that this horse sounds like he might be a good enough sort, but there are obviously issues you need to sort out; and you may have to be prepared to go back to square one and somehow refrain from doing fast work like canter or XC for a while at least. If you are not prepared to put aside what you may regard as a "fun" day, or a good hoon, for the sake of "sorting" your horse, then I think you may come to regret that long-term, as you may end up with a horse that injures you, and which - if you did decide to sell at that point - frankly will have the tag "unmanageable" and will only be worth meat-money. Sorry, perhaps I am sounding harsh, but this is the reality of horses that are allowed to get out of hand and/or throw their rider and get a certain reputation.

I think you should not make any decision hastily: I would be inclined to take your horse to the new yard where you will have regular instruction - and take the advice of your instructor. If he/she suggests nothing but lunging and schoolwork for the foreseeable future for e.g., then you will need to decide whether you want to take that advice.

Ball in your court I think. I think you need to make your own mind up about this issue, yes friends can advise and give their opinion (as can all of us on here it has to be said) but ultimately it is YOUR horse and YOUR decision. This horse sounds like he may well be very talented, albeit currently green and/or needing some work, and I wish you both the best of luck for the future.
Click to expand...

This is a brilliant reply!

I am taking on a 4 year old TB who has been in training as a 2&3 year old but not done a thing "regular" riding wise, so will be in need of totally restarting.

I am pregnant and due in January, so by time baby is born etc I will have been out if the saddle a long while so will be both rusty and unfit!

I am fully prepared for the long hard slog of doing all the basic things for a good long time and foregoing the "fun" bits so I end up with as safe and balanced horse as possible.

The thing with TBs is that once they think 'fast' is the default speed then you have a lot of work ahead of you to bring them back to earth - they are purpose bred for one thing...and that is to run as fast as possible! So without correct training they can end up a real PITA.

If you're willing to work hard with your instructor then there is no reason not to try...but do so safely!
 
From the other thread he it does not sounds like he bolts. You said he sets off at a steadyish canter and then just gets faster and faster. That's a lack of brakes not a bolt. Still scary and dangerous but a sortable schooling issue.

I have been told a number of times to send my horse away for professional schooling because i also lacked brakes. But I adore her, want to work with her myself, am in no hurry and was prepared to do what it took to improve myself enough for her and to re-educate her. At first every time I went out XC or hacking faster than trot she would become de-schooled again and I would go back to basics for a few more weeks. This season we have started show-jumping and eventing and she is fab. But the whole of last year was spent getting her ready for that and if she had not been ready I would have not hesitated waiting longer.

So basically it is totally up to you. But you need to put his training needs ahead of having 'fun' and put in the hours he needs.
 
At the end of the day its your horse so your choice. But from how it sounds on here - your horse bolted with you? Then you decided a few days later to take it XC schooling where you fell off? I'd worry that you made the decision to go XC when you're not in full control of your horse... so perhaps you are a bit overhorsed here or inexperienced?

All I'd say is from my own experience, I had a particular horse who was perfectly safe but he didint enjoy jumping no matter what I tried, I spent 5 years on the horse as he showed massive potential (he'd jump anything in lessons at any height but in competition, he just didnt). I sold him in the end as I wanted something to enjoy and it was definately the right decision, I did waste all that time in the end. So sometimes it is worthwhile thinking about getting a different horse who you could enjoy now as the "potential" you see might never be utilised...
 
The other thing to bear in mind is that the people giving you advice to sell may not be totally impartial, especially if you ride with them: they might be a bit concerned about having to scoop you off the ground into an ambulance, or on the effect on them, their horse and their safety if you're hacking out together and your horse isn't under control.

I have found myself on both sides of this one: when I first got my first horse, the pair of us could be a bit of a liability, and I counted myself very lucky to have hacking buddies who, firstly didn't flatly refuse to hack out with me after a couple of really quite hair raising involuntary dismounts, and thereafter were prepared to nanny us on really slow and boring hacks, after I figured out that's all that horse and I were ever going to be able to safely do together.

I've also been the person concerned for my own and my horse's safety as a friend's horse spooks into traffic, takes off in full gallop when we're supposed to be having a steady trot, or proceeds towards a main road up a residential street sideways jumping drain covers when he's supposed to be walking quietly. It's not fun. Nor are the trips to A&E when same friend has accidents that in my view could have been avoided with a bit more sense and a bit less risk taking.

So I guess I am saying is that you should do whatever you think is best, but you may have to accept that everyone has different attitudes to risk, and that may mean that some people aren't keen to ride with you. That may not bother you in the slightest, just something to consider.
 
Whilst you're not scared, enjoy riding and owning your horse and are prepared to seek help to get him to be what you want then I'd be inclined to say keep him.

I was a crash test rider in my earlier years and always had the ponies/horse that tried to kill other people - my Mum was not horsey and pimped me out to help out! I'm still a bold rider at 56 but I do have a much better understanding of pain and the healing process.

I always say to young injured riders the one thing I wish I'd been told, namely made sure you do all your physio and heal you body properly even after the pain has gone. I rode regularly full of strong pain killers and never did my physio so my body is now all wonky and achy.
 
tell them all to get lost. if you are happy with the horse then that's all that matters. when it comes right the sense of achievement is great.
 
If truth be told, I’m sure there are many of us on here that have in hindsight had highly unsuitably horses in our younger years. I know for sure I have! The type where rich PC mums and richer liveries tutted. Some felt sorry for me and helped me where they could.

I can guarantee you that at the time I didn’t understand the issue like I do now. I didn’t have much choice as I had little to no financial support so I just rode what I could afford and made do.

If people are telling you to sell it’s probably only because they have learnt from experience! That said, I did gain a lot of experience that I have managed to apply later on. Ultimately, with any horse, you have to decide for yourself whether to persist or sell.

If I had my time again, there are 2 particular horses I would have moved on much sooner and if I had, would not be physically broken with the resulting confidence hang ups that comes with. At the time though ‘I loved them’ and it took a real downwards spiral before they went .....
 
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