Better a day too soon...

frostyfingers

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Such a sad story, it's so hard and especially if the vet is pushing for further treatment.

I had a good experience with my vet regarding my old pony who kept colicking. He had a couple of mild bouts which we dealt with easily but as they became more frequent she advised that I have a long hard think about continuing to treat them although individually they weren't too bad. She felt that he had fatty lipomas and sooner rather than later I would find him seriously distressed, every time he lay down I panicked and went to check he was all right - poor chap got fed up with his sleeps being interrupted.

After his 4th bout in four months I decided that enough was enough and gave him a week in the whole field with his mates and then had him pts whilst he was happy and well in himself. No he wasn't seriously ill at that specific moment, certainly not outwardly, but yes in all probability I would come down and find him colicking so badly that he couldn't be saved and I didn't want that for him at all. I got a few raised eyebrows that I was putting an apparently healthy pony down but felt that with the vets guidance I was doing the right thing.
 

Sukistokes2

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Such a sad ending for a lovely boy but in truth , while the guilt won't go away, it is unfounded. Everything is so clear in hindsight, it could have been that he came home on the Friday and everything would have been fine. We can only do the best we can at the time and with the information we are given. He was loved and cared for in life and that is what is really important. I really hope your brave thread helps others decide when the time is right. The time is of course different for every owner and for every animal and sometimes it's hard to judge but again we can only do our best.

RIP Pinto.
 

horselady

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I am so sorry Casey but you can't think it was your fault. I know if my vet said give it more time I would because you think they always know best. It is incredibly hard to let go of any animal under any circumstances even if they just die of old age it is incredibly hard to let go You keep thinking about them. It is especially hard if they have to be put to sleep.
 
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Bernster

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Oh gosh I read all that with a lump in my throat. I am so so sorry to hear you went through that. I don't know what to say but couldn't read and run.

It's always a difficult decision and the decision between being too soon or too late isn't always clear (or that far apart). I know you feel guilty, but you did your best for your boy, you took the vets advice and there are many many of us who would have done the same. The vets are the experts, they should be able to tell more readily then us (I know that's not always the case).

That picture is absolutely gorgeous. Remember the good times with him.

Difficult to find the right words, but this sums it up so well for me.
 

mytwofriends

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Wow. That is a heart rending story and I'm so sad for you OP.

I hope you find strength to move on and remember the good times with your beautiful horse. What a gorgeous picture.

I'm still grieving for my beloved oldie, who I had PTS two weeks ago. I miss him with every fibre of my body. It was my call and I know it was right, and he didn't suffer. Sadly, stories such as yours confirm my decision, although I've been second guessing it ever since.

Thank you for posting. Look after yourself.
 

Shantara

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I'm so so sorry to read you and your boy went through so much :(
I was also sucked into following what a vet said, because he was a professional and "knew better". It wasn't as horrible as what you went through, but I will always go with my gut now.
I took my blind, deaf and painfully thin cat (thyroid problem) to the vet to PTS. We all knew it was time and she had started showing signs of suffering. She went down hill fast, but we still thought we'd caught it before it was too late and she wasn't in such a bad way, despite her issues.
The vet told us she was fine and gave us expensive medication. She was the family cat and I didn't have a job, so my parents paid, money wasn't an issue, if we could make her better. However, we should have stuck to our guns. We spoke on the way home about how we felt pressured into keeping her alive. She lasted another week, but she suffered. We took her in and we didn't take no for an answer. I'll always be angry with myself. We didn't let the dog suffer and she was PTS at home and buried in the garden. I have so many regrets with the cat, it still haunts me!

I hope I can find the strength when the time comes for the rest of the animals. Thank you for posting, it must have been very painful *hugs*
 

pansymouse

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Unfortunately I think insurance has a lot to answer for in prolonging animals lives when it's not in their best interests. I find when vets discover I'm not insured they give me a much more pragmatic animal focussed opinion. I can comfortably afford necessary treatment but will not prolong a life if it is not in the interests of the animal.
 

hairycob

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It can be such a hard decision to make & not just for the owner. My son's first pony had me torn one day. I got an early morning call as I was getting dressed to say he had just gone down & didn't look good. I shot to the yard, took one look & thought "this is it". He was 26 and just lay there groaning & rolling his eyes. Called the vet straight away & said I thought it was likely to be pts. Just before the vet arrived he perked up a bit, still down but not groaning /rolling eyes. Vet examined him as best he could and ummed & aaghed a bit & said," let's try some buscopam I've a feeling he's a wuss". We agreed that if he wasn't up by lunchtime we would call it. It was already getting hot so I dragged couple of jump wings & a tarpaulin up to the field to make some shade. Just a I finished he farted long & loud, jumped up and frisked me for polos! Vet later told me that he had driven away torn about whether he had given the right advice & nearly turned round to come back. In fact only getting an emergency call to a suspected broken leg stopped him. When the surgery told him I'd called he immediately thought the worst & was extremely relieved. After that every vet from that practice used to refer to him as the magic farting pony.
On the other hand I delayed the decision for a cat & it was the worst mistake.
 

Kezzabell2

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Wow this has made me cry! so sorry that you had to see your horse go in this way. very very sad. and it has made me even more grateful that I chose to do it on the 1 September 2016 for my 31 year old mare! she went in the sunshine eating nice lush green grass, which was her favourite past time!
 

scats

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What a dreadfully upsetting story, I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

I very much live by the 'better a day early than a day too late' motto with all my animals and I will continue to do so. Sometimes it is very hard, when we put Joe to sleep last summer, I remember looking at him as the vet euthanised him and thinking he could have won a best condition class, he looked absolutely amazing on the outside, but there were other issues going on and I had to keep that in mind. He was starting to become unable to live life comfortably and for me, that was the time.
 

cbmcts

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Oh Casey, that must have been so hard on you at an already difficult time.

But I think that, if we are honest with ourselves most of us have held off a little too long making the tough decision to end it all at least once. Human nature being what it is, the natural reaction is to hope and try just a bit longer to save them. I know I have in the past and I've learnt from those mistakes but the guilt lives on.
 

Ceriann

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So so sorry - you did your very best for him and all for the right reasons and whilst you clearly feel guilty, that guilt is there because you cared and not because you are to blame.

I lost my first horse in fairly grim circumstances - liver failure and first signs (photo sensitivity) showed when I was away for a short work trip Called vet immediately when I got back and he assured me it wasn't serious etc which resulted in days of delay in getting her the right treatment (days that might have made a real difference). Research and help on here and her continuing symptoms made me realise it was serious and I got another vet (who knew straight away what it was) and moved her to a rehab yard where vet could treat her (closest hospital was an hour and a half away). I made the decision to pts 3 days later - I was too late. I will never forget how she whinnied at me when I got back from my trip (she trusted me and I let her down) and still can't look at a video my sister took of her and my other mare when they were both in the rehab yard. It affects every decision I make now.
 

pennyturner

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Unfortunately I think insurance has a lot to answer for in prolonging animals lives when it's not in their best interests. I find when vets discover I'm not insured they give me a much more pragmatic animal focussed opinion. I can comfortably afford necessary treatment but will not prolong a life if it is not in the interests of the animal.

Definitely. Particularly where invasive procedures are concerned. Giving an animal a chance under conservative management (rest and time) is one thing, but procedures with poor prognoses rarely benefit the animal.
 

poiuytrewq

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You made your choice out of love and I don't think you should blame yourself. You have learnt a hard lesson so go easy on yourself. It's one of those things easy to say afterwards.
My little dog was very sick a few years ago and on a Friday afternoon I knew he'd got worse. I however thought he wasn't too bad and didn't make the call. It was Sunday night before he really went downhill and we had to make an emergency trip to a horrible out of hours place. I'll never forgive myself.
It's tough but a mistake made out of loving too much.
Xxx
 
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