Bikkering on yards?

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doodle

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At my yard there always seems to be drama. Including now. Over petty stuff usually. Are all yards like this? I thought after a recent very big drama and the removal of the culprits that it would settle down. I had been oblivious to one issue and this issue exploded last night. I missed it thank goodness. Is my yard the norm or the exception?
 
Sounds like my yard - I used to spend all my free time there, but nowadays I tend to sort my horses early before the worst culprits get there.
 
Ours is a small ish yard, 9 people and their horses (including the owners) there may be minor grumbles but at least this is done to your face and we all seem to get on rather well. We regularly meet up for BBQ's and get togethers. But after seeing some posts on here about livery yards I'm starting to think we are the exception not the rule!!
 
we are lucky to have a very good manager........................when they took over explained that everyone was an adult and if there was squabbling there was a waiting list. up shot is everyone gets on, people that would personality clash are separated so that they are not in each others face, and this is the first yard that i have had nothing borrowed! it doesn't matter if your beast is off to Badminton or trek or a semi retired happy hacker there is no preferential treatment, all horses are respected, well kept. this again is another way to reduce resentment between people and bickering.

sometimes the yard owner just needs to set firm rules
 
hollyandivy123 said:
we are lucky to have a very good manager........................when they took over explained that everyone was an adult and if there was squabbling there was a waiting list. up shot is everyone gets on, people that would personality clash are separated so that they are not in each others face, and this is the first yard that i have had nothing borrowed! it doesn't matter if your beast is off to Badminton or trek or a semi retired happy hacker there is no preferential treatment, all horses are respected, well kept. this again is another way to reduce resentment between people and bickering.

sometimes the yard owner just needs to set firm rules
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Exactly , I have always said to people when asked for advice ' Dont ever become close friends with your liveries as it will end in tears'
 
popsdosh said:
Exactly , I have always said to people when asked for advice ' Dont ever become close friends with your liveries as it will end in tears'
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I totally agree with this. As a YO I say "I have lots of acquaintances but very few friends". I also make sure that I choose liveries to fit in with me and my clientele. I've virtually always got a waiting list but I would rather have an empty stable for a few weeks than risk one unpopular customer upsetting the status quo. It's much easier to stop them coming onto the yard as a customer in the first place than getting rid of them when they are there.
 
Our yard has blow ups now and again, thankfully they're rare and normally it settles down again fairly quickly. We've not had one that I know of for a good few months if not longer, mostly everyone gets on these days.
 
SEL said:
Sounds like my yard - I used to spend all my free time there, but nowadays I tend to sort my horses early before the worst culprits get there.
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This, constant drama over minor things and it's so wearing. I keep to myself for the most part which is a shame as I used to love being there. It has reasonable facilities so I won't move for that reason.
 
In 13 years at my yard I can remember one issue (an argument over a bale of hay!) about 5 years ago which with hindsight was the culmination of several issues between two people. The main protagonist (it wasn't entirely one-sided) moved on fairly quickly after that which was a good thing as although it blew over, there was always a bit of tension. Before and since then it's been great - partly as the YO does seem to be good at picking the right liveries. We're all of very different abilities and do very different things but we all get on well. We're a fairly small yard (12 horses with 10 owners) and I'm sure that helps.
 
Usually is caused by poo picking rota disputes but just recently one livery has been causing discord. She's annoyed the YO so think she'll be asked to leave is she continues.
 
Bickering is everywhere, not just yards. Where there are people sharing a space there will be squabbles.

I generally go by the motto in my sig, although this one about honey attracting moe flies than vinegar also works when trying to get along.

I hate very large yards anyway and my first ever yard I was on, on my own, there was this woman who always questioned everything I did, muttered things about what I was doing under her breath all the time. She knew not one thing about me but I knew everything about her as her mouth never stopped moving. I can't have been much older than about 22. She really crushed my confidence. She must be so proud of herself.
 
hollyandivy123 said:
we are lucky to have a very good manager........................when they took over explained that everyone was an adult and if there was squabbling there was a waiting list. up shot is everyone gets on, people that would personality clash are separated so that they are not in each others face, and this is the first yard that i have had nothing borrowed! it doesn't matter if your beast is off to Badminton or trek or a semi retired happy hacker there is no preferential treatment, all horses are respected, well kept. this again is another way to reduce resentment between people and bickering.

sometimes the yard owner just needs to set firm rules
Click to expand...

I agree the most settled yards I have known are benign dictatorships .
 
I make it a policy not to engage with other liveries beyond polite conversation and emergencies, so most bickering tends to pass me by.

However, there was one person on the yard who made it their life's work to stir up bad feeling and general discord. They were extremely subtle too, so it always appeared on the surface that whatever had kicked off was either nothing to do with them, or that they were the victim. They managed to keep up this twisted game of divide and conquer for several years, and it was only after they left the yard that the rest of us finally realised what they had been doing. The atmosphere changed for the better almost immediately, as though an invisible weight had been lifted off everyone's shoulders. No one dreads going to the yard any more :)

I do sometimes wonder how things are on whatever yard they moved to...
 
The yard I am in has about 20 owners and 29 horses (-ish, can't remember exactly off the top of my head) and there are never arguments, we get a long, socialise together, have yard camping weekends and everyone supports everyone else. Yes, people have different ways of doing things but a brilliant YO ensures that everything is run well. I think it's the YO that makes all the difference.
 
I've been on various DIY yards over the years and yes, there has always been bickering to some degree on all of these yards. Usually over things like poo picking, not doing their fair share - and field maintenance, THEIR horse always breaking the fence but THEY never seem to mend it. And don't even get me started on the 2/3 tier livery service level - if you face fits you're on the top tier… I always seemed to be on the bottom tier:D

Anyway. Enough of all that nonsense. I'm now on full livery. No bickering, no nastiness, everyone is treated the same and basically everyone just goes up, rides, socialises over a cuppa and biscuit then goes home. It's lovely.
 
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