Bitchy yards - from the yard owner's point of view

If your not friends with them as you previously posted then why would you want to ride with them? Or indeed why would they want to ride with you.

If there making a noise in the morning then you need to actually tell them to keep it down. 7am isn't particularly early tbh and I imagine they may think you are already awake.

Also people will ride with certain friends if they choose to, and they don't have to invite you if they don't want to.

My YO is lovely and rides occasionally but would never assume she can just come out with us, although she is always most welcome.
 
I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, having nutty and badly behaved liveries would drive me absolutely crackers. However there are so many things you can do right now to make your life easier.

1. Give all liveries a set of rules. Print and laminate the rule sheet, stick it all around the yard. Get liveries to sign agreement to the rules.
Any that don't sign/don't follow after a reasonable period, give them notice to leave and enforce it.

2. Signs all around yard telling liveries to pick up poo etc.

3. Opening hours for access, print signs and make it visible. If you're hours are 7am-8pm for example, unlock gates at 7am and lock up at 8pm. Non compliance= notice to leave

4. Stop bending over backwards for them. Let them organise their own events, fencing and hacks.

5. If you're riding out, put a notice in the most popular area of the yard e.g tack room or kitchen area. Get a notice board and put on that you're riding at 9am Saturday morning, route you're thinking of going and let people put their name down if they'd like to join

Start putting your foot down and go for a certain type of livery when you have new people coming on. Look for middle to older aged ladies, no kids or mum's who being their screaming kids to the yard etc etc. Facebook is wonderful for having a stalk of new liveries, you can gain a lot of knowledge this was as to how they behave/speak/act and if they're daft enough to put in comments that their horse was a *#*# and yard owner wants them off/out of field 4/into other part of yard etc.
Also look for reasonably calm or older horses, less likely to cause you hassle of younger horses and may settle in faster.

Good luck OP
 
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Crabbypink said:
They arrive early on the yard and bang around, waking me up.
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If you want a (later) yard opening time, set one. Be prepared to loose some liveries who can't get to their horse later.

Crabbypink said:
Everyone's horse is special. Everyone's horse needs more time, more care, better fields than anyone else's. I've taken down field division tape the day after putting it up, because someone decided their horse actually doesn't need to be on restricted grazing.
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Of course they are. If people didn't feel their horse was special they wouldn't be paying you a very large proportion of their disposable income to look after it. And yes, like anyone else who is concerned about something, those who care will occasionally change their minds.

Crabbypink said:
People group into little cliques, and only ride out with certain others. I'm almost never invited.
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That is called 'friendships'. There is no reason everyone has to ride with anyone else in their precious free time. It is fundamentally different having your child play with another child and that child's nanny than that child's parent. You're not their friend, you're their service provider. Besides, they may want to talk about the yard - and YO - while they hack!

Crabbypink said:
People want me to organise social events, or shows, or parties, then decide the night before that they'd rather do something else. I've incurred expense for planned activities, that I've never charged through to people who cancel.
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So, make all events pre-paid (sign-up sheet/money in tin and event gets cancelled if not enough people sign by a week before or similar) or with much discounted pre-booking rate.

Crabbypink said:
I've had liveries say nothing to me, then invite someone else to hack out - right in front of me.
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As above, I also don't always feel I have to include the bar staff when I buy a round of drinks in the pub for my friends.

Crabbypink said:
I've had people leave horse poo on my driveway.
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So, make a picking-up rule and, if it is ignored (and you know who) then ask them to leave (be prepared for a friend or two to go too) or make a new notice saying due to poop being left riding in driveway is no longer allowed. Also, have in mind that people may not always want/be able to dismount, clear poop and remount instantly. They may clear it when they finish riding depending on set up of yard etc. I mean, it is only horse poop, after all!


Crabbypink said:
Parents who think their kids are flawless.
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Yes, like horses but more so. If people didn't think their kids were flawless (many people know very little abut disturbed sleep until they've had them!) very few would survive until adulthood. If you want a child-free yard (how utterly depressing) then by all means make one. And, again, be prepared to loose a few liveries in the process. Things will settle down when you have found like-minded clients.

It is hard feeling 'on your own', and, as YO, you are really. You're not one of the staff, and you're not one of the liveries. HHO and similar *should* be an outlet for you to vent your (sometimes as unreasonable as the rest of ours) feelings!
 
This makes me so glad I have my own place, occasionally I miss the company then read something like this and realise how lucky I am.
 
As usual, a post that started merely as something that was to point out a different perspective has turned into mudslinging. Nobody has all the answers. This isn't an easy job. I don't need the money, but neither do I need people telling me I've got it all wrong. There is a fine line between business and friendship, and clearly I don't have all the answers. I don't think the last few posts are constructive at all; rather these people have attacked me. I'm closing the thread now. Please don't pester me unless you have something constructive to say. There is no use in simply saying I'm a dumbshit. I'm not. I just don't have it right yet.
 
Nobody is mudslinging. People are saying how you've come across. Either you're a business owner or their mate. You're blurring the lines.

I would not want to ride with my yo. I pay him money, I moan when the fence is down and I expect it to be fixed.

Nobody has called you names. You can't expect to come on here and think that everyone will fall in exactly with what you want. It's a huge forum, you're going to get a large spectrum of answers.

One thing we all seem to be saying is that you need to enforce rules and be stricter. Consider it like being a manager of any other business. If people piss you round, you need to get tough because you are in charge. It's your role to sort out issues, your yard, your rules, end of, as the kids say.
 
cinnamontoast said:
You are the business owner, not their mate. Can you be mates with people who pay you?
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Completely disagree - I count my yo as one of my friends.

annagain said:
I've posted a few times about how much I love my livery yard. I've been there 14 years and never plan on leaving. It's very laid back. We do count YO as a friend and I did ride out with her before her horse retired but we also respect that we're effectively guests in her home. Official rules are minimal. We're all reasonable adults and can be trusted to behave like them. Having said this, YO's word is final and nobody would question it - if we're told the horses are to go the bottom fields at the weekend, they go (even though we dread the half mile walk down a steep hill to catch them and the walk back up!).

The key to this is the YO is very good at choosing the right liveries. I've seen people come to visit/enquire and she's turned them away straight away as she has this 6th sense. I've often heard on the grapevine that these people are then causing trouble elsewhere! When people do arrive, they fit in effortlessly and, if they keep their horses they stay at the yard. People only leave if they give up riding, their horses die or they move out of the area. The result is a very stable environment with happy horses and happy owners. In the 14 years I've been there I think there have been about 6 or 7 new liveries arrive.

Maybe now's the time to get really tough on the liveries you have - if they toe the line - great, if not they're gone and you can choose your next ones far more carefully. Good luck.
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My yo is similar - we're friends but at the same time I respect that it's her house and garden essentially the yard is in. We regularly go to the pub as a yard (usually on horses), we had a 'sorting the yard and school' session a week or two ago which ended with us all on yo's patio having chip shop, she regularly invites us in for tea etc but does ask we tell her if we're late/early etc so she knows who is there.
 
GirlFriday said:
If you want a (later) yard opening time, set one. Be prepared to loose some liveries who can't get to their horse later.


Of course they are. If people didn't feel their horse was special they wouldn't be paying you a very large proportion of their disposable income to look after it. And yes, like anyone else who is concerned about something, those who care will occasionally change their minds.


That is called 'friendships'. There is no reason everyone has to ride with anyone else in their precious free time. It is fundamentally different having your child play with another child and that child's nanny than that child's parent. You're not their friend, you're their service provider. Besides, they may want to talk about the yard - and YO - while they hack!


So, make all events pre-paid (sign-up sheet/money in tin and event gets cancelled if not enough people sign by a week before or similar) or with much discounted pre-booking rate.


As above, I also don't always feel I have to include the bar staff when I buy a round of drinks in the pub for my friends.


So, make a picking-up rule and, if it is ignored (and you know who) then ask them to leave (be prepared for a friend or two to go too) or make a new notice saying due to poop being left riding in driveway is no longer allowed. Also, have in mind that people may not always want/be able to dismount, clear poop and remount instantly. They may clear it when they finish riding depending on set up of yard etc. I mean, it is only horse poop, after all!



Yes, like horses but more so. If people didn't think their kids were flawless (many people know very little abut disturbed sleep until they've had them!) very few would survive until adulthood. If you want a child-free yard (how utterly depressing) then by all means make one. And, again, be prepared to loose a few liveries in the process. Things will settle down when you have found like-minded clients.

It is hard feeling 'on your own', and, as YO, you are really. You're not one of the staff, and you're not one of the liveries. HHO and similar *should* be an outlet for you to vent your (sometimes as unreasonable as the rest of ours) feelings!
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Wow, if ever I have a livery yard, don't think you would survive!
 
I'm gonna split off to start another thread about yo's out of respect for the posters wishes of not dragging this thread out, as i think theres some really interesting discussion points on it from people
 
Crabbypink said:
I used to love my yard. Now I hate it. I'm not the perfect yard owner - far from it. But I do try to do a good job. I work llong hours, including weekends, to provide good service, a nice yard. I pour money into the infrastructure of the place, and listen to what liveries want. But I'm ready to pack it all in. I've heard story after story of horrible yard owners - cold, callous and opinionated. But being on the other side of the relationship, I now understand some things that I did not when I was a livery on a yard. There is no excuse for being rude; I try never to be rude to others. But people are rude to me all the time. They arrive early on the yard and bang around, waking me up. Everyone's horse is special. Everyone's horse needs more time, more care, better fields than anyone else's. I've taken down field division tape the day after putting it up, because someone decided their horse actually doesn't need to be on restricted grazing. People group into little cliques, and only ride out with certain others. I'm almost never invited. People want me to organise social events, or shows, or parties, then decide the night before that they'd rather do something else. I've incurred expense for planned activities, that I've never charged through to people who cancel. I've had liveries say nothing to me, then invite someone else to hack out - right in front of me. I've had people leave horse poo on my driveway. Parents who think their kids are flawless. You get the picture.
The next time you see your yard owner, think back on your own behaviour, and evaluate whether you might be the unkind one. I don't want to turn into the yard owner that everyone complains about, but I think it's probably inevitable. Either that, or close down my yard.
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I feel you pain OP. I used to go home in tears on a regular basis because of my liveries but 20 odd years on I've grown balls of steel and I will not put up with any c**p from ANYONE. I run a tight ship, but everything I do is first and foremost for the horses welfare, the owners are secondary. Like you, I am always pouring money into the yard as my daughter competes, so I make sure the facilities are as good as they can be. I keep prices down to make it affordable for everyone even though we lose money year on year (we have another very successful business that props it up!) and I really do wish livery clients would just for one day, step into my shoes and see things from my perspective. I'm lucky that most of my clients, I think?, appreciate what they have here, but I know there are also a few who don't which just really p***es me off frankly, but I'm afraid this is the nature of the beast. The YO is the person most clients love to hate for various reasons. I've wanted to close several times over the years, but it's the thought of the horses and where they would go that stops me, not their owners! My advice to you OP is be firm but fair and NEVER make the mistake of thinking that any of them are your friend. That's not to say you can't enjoy their company which I do with some of my clients. Chin up and good luck!
 
I recently sold my pony but have paid to keep my stable, so when I find another, I can move back onto my yard - I love it that much.

My yard owner is fair to everyone. She goes out on hacks with some of the ladies, but then again not others. I just see this as preference in riding style - nothing personal :). So try not to get too upset about that. Could you maybe just ask if any of them fancied a hack one day? If this is something you'd like to do?! Alternatively, somebody on here may be close by and I'm sure somebody would be happy to meet up with you and keep you company on a hack!

I think you're having a rough time, it's very hard to juggle everything as making a business work and keeping everyone happy is sometimes a challenge, I wouldn't ever want to take on that role but good on you for trying.

I think maybe if you have got them to sign a contract, just remind them of this. I would imagine my yard owner would get quite upset if people repeatedly didn't listen and although she's nice, you respect her at the same time. I certainly wouldn't want to upset her. Is it a select few offenders or the whole yard causing problems?

I hope you sort it out :). Sending big hugs - maybe a glass of wine could help...?
 
Crabbypink said:
I used to love my yard. Now I hate it. I'm not the perfect yard owner - far from it. But I do try to do a good job. I work llong hours, including weekends, to provide good service, a nice yard. I pour money into the infrastructure of the place, and listen to what liveries want. But I'm ready to pack it all in. I've heard story after story of horrible yard owners - cold, callous and opinionated. But being on the other side of the relationship, I now understand some things that I did not when I was a livery on a yard. There is no excuse for being rude; I try never to be rude to others. But people are rude to me all the time. They arrive early on the yard and bang around, waking me up. Everyone's horse is special. Everyone's horse needs more time, more care, better fields than anyone else's. I've taken down field division tape the day after putting it up, because someone decided their horse actually doesn't need to be on restricted grazing. People group into little cliques, and only ride out with certain others. I'm almost never invited. People want me to organise social events, or shows, or parties, then decide the night before that they'd rather do something else. I've incurred expense for planned activities, that I've never charged through to people who cancel. I've had liveries say nothing to me, then invite someone else to hack out - right in front of me. I've had people leave horse poo on my driveway. Parents who think their kids are flawless. You get the picture.
The next time you see your yard owner, think back on your own behaviour, and evaluate whether you might be the unkind one. I don't want to turn into the yard owner that everyone complains about, but I think it's probably inevitable. Either that, or close down my yard.
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I am absolutely appauled at some of the responses I have just been reading to this, you are here to vent to other horsey people about a genuine problem that you have!
If this was my yard, I would just send them all a text or print a message and put it up for people to respect that this is your home, if people are going to arrive early / stay late to please respect that you are sleeping due to the very hard job you have which is looking after the yard.

With regards to the hacking out, I would totally just say 'give me 5 minutes and ill tack up and come' if you don't feel like you can, which I totally get, I would maybe speak to a livery who you get a long with more one-on-one and go with them, this way when they decide to go out with others and she knows you really enjoy hacking she may ask you to tag along.
With regards to people asking you to organise social events, get them to do so in writing, create a facebook group or WhatsApp group for things like this and get everyone involved, you can delegate tasks this way and ask for a contribution.
People leaving horsepoo on your yard is just rude. even if they are on their way out, they could at least pick it up on their way back.

I pride myself on keeping my stable, tack room, outside of my stable and field immaculate. I completely understand that this is the place that my yard owner and her family live. there are minimum 15 liveries on my yard and not one other person shows the same respect and are all more than happy to watch me keep everything clean on their behalf, and I have only been there 8 weeks. The way people treat other peoples homes/liver yards/belongings to me is just disrespectful and I wouldn't stand for any of it! If you was closer to me, I would definitely move to your yard!
 
Laika said:
I recently sold my pony but have paid to keep my stable, so when I find another, I can move back onto my yard - I love it that much.

My yard owner is fair to everyone. She goes out on hacks with some of the ladies, but then again not others. I just see this as preference in riding style - nothing personal :). So try not to get too upset about that. Could you maybe just ask if any of them fancied a hack one day? If this is something you'd like to do?! Alternatively, somebody on here may be close by and I'm sure somebody would be happy to meet up with you and keep you company on a hack!

I think you're having a rough time, it's very hard to juggle everything as making a business work and keeping everyone happy is sometimes a challenge, I wouldn't ever want to take on that role but good on you for trying.

I think maybe if you have got them to sign a contract, just remind them of this. I would imagine my yard owner would get quite upset if people repeatedly didn't listen and although she's nice, you respect her at the same time. I certainly wouldn't want to upset her. Is it a select few offenders or the whole yard causing problems?

I hope you sort it out :). Sending big hugs - maybe a glass of wine could help...?
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You sound like the perfect livery client and your YO sounds as if she has found and maintains a good balance within the yard, it really can't be an easy task to achieve this
 
I'll hack with any of my liveries - and they'll all hack with whoever else is going out at the same time. I guess it's a bit different when there aren't that many of us.
The only time I don't get included in hacking plans is when they've pinched Alf! Everyone likes riding him a bit too much!
 
"If you want a child-free yard (how utterly depressing) then by all means make one."

Utterly depressing to you maybe, sounds great to me! Not everyone wants to spend their precious leisure time around children, just as others would want to surround themselves with kids.
 
Nasicus said:
"If you want a child-free yard (how utterly depressing) then by all means make one."

Utterly depressing to you maybe, sounds great to me! Not everyone wants to spend their precious leisure time around children, just as others would want to surround themselves with kids.
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I agree I definitely would want a child free livery yard. Most children I see around ponies are too loud, too boisterous and precocious.
 
Nasicus said:
"If you want a child-free yard (how utterly depressing) then by all means make one."

Utterly depressing to you maybe, sounds great to me! Not everyone wants to spend their precious leisure time around children, just as others would want to surround themselves with kids.
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Me too. It was always one of the first questions I asked on the phone before I'd even gone to view. The yard was my sanctuary away from my (very much loved btw) children. Sartre was only partially right when he said 'hell is other people', IMO it's not, it's other people's children <runs away before it all hits the fan> :D.
 
I don't have kids on my yard, although I don't mind my liveries bringing theirs up sometimes. I have plenty of very valid reasons not to have kids on the yard, but to be completely honest, it's because I like it just being adults.

Someone suggested that my place (and I) would be perfect for PC/Juniors who needed full livery, and an onsite trainer. Not a cat in hells chance. I'd rather sit in a tree and stick pins in my eyes.
 
I have a part/ full livery yard with 24 horses. Other than one lady who's kids have children that ride , but she is very strict with them, we have the same type of person throughout the whole yard, middle aged ladies who are sensible, easy to talk to and respect the rules.
We have a contract and on the contract is a list of rules. If people don't like the rules they can move on. None of them are ridiculous. Anyone who has given me grief is moved on as its my hobby as well as my business and I want to enjoy it too!

With regards to riding etc. I hack with my liveries nearly every weekend , they always invite me and I invite them. We also have social events which we all attend, usually it's a picnic or bbq and everyone brings something. We have a private Facebook page where any changes to rules, social events, hacking plans, lessons etc is put and then everyone knows what is going on.

For a large yard, everyone rubs along really well with lots of quiet chat and everyone helping and supporting each other. There are no cliques, everyone gets along with everyone else.

I guess I'm lucky but a big part is having the right people in.

Of course I have to pull people up on things but it's said, dealt with and me move on.
 
charlie76 said:
I have a part/ full livery yard with 24 horses. Other than one lady who's kids have children that ride , but she is very strict with them, we have the same type of person throughout the whole yard, middle aged ladies who are sensible, easy to talk to and respect the rules.
We have a contract and on the contract is a list of rules. If people don't like the rules they can move on. None of them are ridiculous. Anyone who has given me grief is moved on as its my hobby as well as my business and I want to enjoy it too!

With regards to riding etc. I hack with my liveries nearly every weekend , they always invite me and I invite them. We also have social events which we all attend, usually it's a picnic or bbq and everyone brings something. We have a private Facebook page where any changes to rules, social events, hacking plans, lessons etc is put and then everyone knows what is going on.

For a large yard, everyone rubs along really well with lots of quiet chat and everyone helping and supporting each other. There are no cliques, everyone gets along with everyone else.

I guess I'm lucky but a big part is having the right people in.

Of course I have to pull people up on things but it's said, dealt with and me move on.
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Your yard sounds fantastic!!!
 
As hard as it is I think you need to be tougher.
Don't be than nasty yard owner but be an assertive one.
Make rule and stick to them.

If organising this as for money yo from and no refund after a cetain date.

Also people can hack out with who they like, ask them if you want company, set up a yard hack and invite anyone availib for a particular time.
 
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