Bloody Sharers!!!

mishaspey said:
OP - I was at one point thinking of taking on a sharer, but I know I would be so particular with my girl that I'm not sure how it would pan out.

I'd much rather have my pony standing all day (can she not be turned out?) than have someone ride her who is not experienced enough to handle her and therefore going to undo all of the hard work that I have done.

To keep a sharer on, when you are actively looking for another one, and yet not having the courtesy to tell her what you are doing, is wrong IMHO. Surely it would be best to have a quiet word with her, let her know what your concerns are, and see if you can sort something out? If she is as unreliable as she sounds, then you would be better to tell her that it is not working out as your horse needs someone more experienced.

What was her reaction when you told her that she shouldn't be jumping him anyway?
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very wise words, I would rather mine out all day too!

When I took my sharer on:
I watched sharer groom and tack up she was left to do it on own, she rode in sandschool, out on hack, caught, turned out etc. before either of us decided on the share.
 
marragic said:
I had 3 sharers at various times, two were great, I could not fault them and one of them was a novice, however, one not so (a teenage girl)!

I had expressley requested that she not jump my pony until she had had a jumping lesson from my RI/YO. Yes, you guessed it, she tried to jump him on her own and tore his suspensory ligament! Not happy, six weeks box rest, year off work, large vet bill and no offer to help with funds or care, he never jumped again, end of sharer!
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This is my concern too, not to mention the possibility of the rider hurting herself. It was very irresponsible of the sharer to do this.

However, I would take issue with the fact that you are using her while you look for a replacement, and also that your pony has no turnout and you are not able to make other arrangements for him. Move the pony to a yard where it can be out, or at least turned out in a menage/exercised while you are at work.
 
FullThrottle said:
Are you blind queen bee? As I have said we have no winter turnout so he CANNOT be out all day!! And I WIll NOT leave him standing in all day,
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Sorry but rather than publicly complain about your "bloody sharer" would it not have been more worthwhile to spend the time looking for a yard with winter turnout and that offers part livery etc. so there is paid help available when you can't get there till you find a new sharer?

And if you can't move for whatever reason then perhaps you should have thought a little more about the sharer situation sooner so you had a contingency plan in place.

I hope it works out for you and your horse.
 
It sounds to me like you would be better off finding a paid helper for your horses then you can have complete control and a right to complain. I'm a little confused why you would have taken on someone you didn't trust as a sharer unless you were just trying to save money which as we all know never works with horses!
 
Oh dear :( It really can be a pain in the bum trying to find a sharer who is appropriate and experienced enough etc. There are people out there though just make sure you choose the right person for you and the horse even if it does take 6 months. Maybe it would be a better idea for you to move yards... somewhere maybe with winter t/o then your horse won't need to stand in all day and will give you enough time to find somebody who is a good match not just somebody because you need someone if you catch my drift? Good luck with your search
 
Caz89 said:
Oh dear :( It really can be a pain in the bum trying to find a sharer who is appropriate and experienced enough etc.
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It can also be a problem finding a horse to share when you are generally more experienced than the owner. :p

I'd love to find a horse to ride 2-3 times a week. 46 years experience. Happy to school young horses, teach to jump etc, take to comps (even have my own 7.5t lorry). Can SJ to 1.40m, BE to intermediate, even do stressage if forced to but just dont seem to be able to find anything to ride.

Haven't sat on a horse since giving up full time riding in July :(
 
Horses arnt machines personally i think it unlikely for a horse not to refuse in its life time, im not saying yours has'nt but im sure there might of been a reason to it for instance wrong striding etc maybe you should just sit her/him down and talk to him/her and run through everything again.
Also like people said its not sharers its sharer just because your having trouble dosnt mean evry sharer is a pain.
good luck sorting it out
 
I shared before I bought my boy. I took the responsibility very seriously - never let my owner down, had lessons to make sure i was doing right thing, helped with owners other horse and paid every week!

Not all sharers are b****y sharers. However we know that not all owners are ideal either so it's swings and roundabouts sometimes you need to spend time finding the right person.
 
and i also took out riders insurance which covered me and any horse I was riding should anything have happened.

Perhaps this is something else people should be insisting on - at £90 a year it's well worth it.
 
Ok as I've said she was paying me back the money I had lent her for lunch, he is worked hard 7 days a week, only jumped by me, yes it is very possible for some one to teach a horse to knap, how many kids ponies have you seen start knapping after they have been stood huddled together with their riders on top gossiping?? I have seen loads. Right now movuing is not an option and my sharer has only been left to her own devices because my dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago and I have taken on looking after my 93 year old grandma who has severe dementia! So I really don't have the time to find somewhere else and sort everything that goes along with moving a horse out.
 
FullThrottle said:
Ok as I've said she was paying me back the money I had lent her for lunch, he is worked hard 7 days a week, only jumped by me, yes it is very possible for some one to teach a horse to knap, how many kids ponies have you seen start knapping after they have been stood huddled together with their riders on top gossiping?? I have seen loads. Right now movuing is not an option and my sharer has only been left to her own devices because my dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago and I have taken on looking after my 93 year old grandma who has severe dementia! So I really don't have the time to find somewhere else and sort everything that goes along with moving a horse out.
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Well if that is the case your sharer is really helping you out and you should treat her with a little more respect.
 
**Vanner** said:
and i also took out riders insurance which covered me and any horse I was riding should anything have happened.

Perhaps this is something else people should be insisting on - at £90 a year it's well worth it.
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You were paying too much, BHS gold membership is £57 a year and includes public liability insurance for any horse you are riding with the owner's permission. I joined when i was sharing so that I was covered, and I've stayed a member, amongst all the other benefits the insurance means I can happily accept any offer to ride that comes my way.

FullThrottle said:
Ok as I've said she was paying me back the money I had lent her for lunch, he is worked hard 7 days a week, only jumped by me, yes it is very possible for some one to teach a horse to knap, how many kids ponies have you seen start knapping after they have been stood huddled together with their riders on top gossiping?? I have seen loads. Right now movuing is not an option and my sharer has only been left to her own devices because my dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago and I have taken on looking after my 93 year old grandma who has severe dementia! So I really don't have the time to find somewhere else and sort everything that goes along with moving a horse out.
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You could try employing a freelance groom if you need help that your yard can't offer.


The reason I don't normally pay for shares is that often you are saving the owner the cost of a groom or livery yard services, so it is mutual benefit.

At least recognise that the sharer is doing you a favour as much as you are doing them one.
 
JunoXV said:
It can also be a problem finding a horse to share when you are generally more experienced than the owner. :p

I'd love to find a horse to ride 2-3 times a week. 46 years experience. Happy to school young horses, teach to jump etc, take to comps (even have my own 7.5t lorry). Can SJ to 1.40m, BE to intermediate, even do stressage if forced to but just dont seem to be able to find anything to ride.

Haven't sat on a horse since giving up full time riding in July :(
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Shame you're so far away that would be perfect for Mo when we break him, I want a horse for happy hacking but I'd like him to learn/show if he's able, as I believe it adds value in case you ever have to sell!
 
FullThrottle said:
my sharer has only been left to her own devices because my dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago and I have taken on looking after my 93 year old grandma who has severe dementia! So I really don't have the time to find somewhere else and sort everything that goes along with moving a horse out.
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FullThrottle said:
So you think that I should be greatful for my now ex sharer teaching my lad some seriously bad habbits and manners? Not friggin likely!
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No I think you should be grateful for the fact that you have had free help when you needed it, and maybe the price you pay for that help is that you have to do somework re-establishing boundaries with your horse.

Having said that unless your horse is young or very nervous I would expect him to come back from being ridden by a novice very quickly once there is a confident rider back on board. Just look at riding school horses, there are plenty out there who can have a total novice on one week and jump a course of fences of over a metre in height the next. You can't ruin a horse completely with a few sessions of novicey riding, unless that horse was really completely unsuitable for a novice in the first place. In which case you shouldn't have accepted a novice sharer.

As I said, all this could have been avoided if you had just employed a qualified groom to assist you when required.

As so often in life you get what you pay for and if you pay peanuts there is a risk that you get monkeys!
 
I think this thread has got a bit out of hand. Ok you're having a hard time, I understand that you need a little help. Maybe that explains the snapping over something relatively small too...

But your horse isn't ruined forever and you should have kept an eye on your sharer more to see how she rode/ handled him. Just let it be a lesson learned and keep it in mind when you get a new sharer. I don't think there's any need for the witch hunt going on here. Even though as a reliable and experienced sharer myself i was very offended by your blanket use of 'bloody sharers'. You could find a good sharer for your lad. Lots of people who have/do share at my little yard are not doing it for monetary reasons, they have very very good jobs which just don't allow them the time for their own horse. Maybe asking for a bit of payment might ensure that they take things more seriously.

I have my share 3 days a week and his owner doesn't ride so recently got someone else for the other 3 days, the last girl we had kept letting us down and wouldn't keep in touch or be told anything she was doing wrong. If he lost a shoe she wouldn't bother coming. She only lasted a few weeks before his owner called it off. The one we have now is fab, she loves him already and he loves her more than me after only a couple of weeks. So they are out there, you just have to find the right one.
 
JunoXV said:
It can also be a problem finding a horse to share when you are generally more experienced than the owner. :p

I'd love to find a horse to ride 2-3 times a week. 46 years experience. Happy to school young horses, teach to jump etc, take to comps (even have my own 7.5t lorry). Can SJ to 1.40m, BE to intermediate, even do stressage if forced to but just dont seem to be able to find anything to ride.

Haven't sat on a horse since giving up full time riding in July :(
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Tell em about it! :p That's why I brought in the end because I just used to be taken the mick out of :( used to share/loan a BSJA pony and ended up looking after all 4 of her horses as otherwise they were only mucked out once a week! :eek: also ended up paying as much as I would on my own!
 
FullThrottle said:
Queenbee I suggest you take your offensive opinion elsewhere, the ONLY reason he stopped was her awful riding, and I now have the knowledge that another livery saw her trying to jump him and she has said how shockingly badly my sharer was riding, I cannot give her the boot until I find another sharer as I will not have my pony standing in all day on the days I work late! Hence my reason for having a sharer in the first place! If the person is to a standard where they can ride well then they will be allowed. To jump etc, the reason she is not allowed to is because she is not capable.
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I'm very impressed that in the time between you riding him and him stopping and posting on here you have either 1) had the vet, dentist, chiro, farrier & physio out, or b) are omnicient. Otherwise, how could you possibly say with all certainty that the only reason he stopped at a jump with you is because of her awful riding? :confused:

You sound like a charming loaner. Would you mind posting your name location and horse's name on here so that potential sharers can give you the widest possible birth?

Oh, and employ someone else to do your horse on the days you can't.
 
What sort of arrangement have you got?

Is she not allowed to jump him?
Its seems odd she needs your permission to jump him.

Are you happy with her general riding ability?
Have you had his tack, teeth etc been checked lately?
 
FullThrottle said:
Are you blind queen bee? As I have said we have no winter turnout so he CANNOT be out all day!! And I WIll NOT leave him standing in all day,
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No, not blind... just believe I must be hallucinating to read such silly and irresponsible words from you. I suggested winter turn out, in my situation that is what I would do, why not bring pony in at day and out at night, put your hand in your pocket and pay someone, many people work odd hours and fit horses needs around this, its not rocket science just takes a brain and commonsense approach.

I would rather my horse be in than handled by someone I couldn't trust. But then even though things don't always work out with sharers I would have done a lot more than you to ensure that the sharer was 'right' for my horse, if I took on a novice I certainly wouldn't leave them to flounder and then slag them off. I really hope you can sort it out to suit you and your horse but have no sympathy for you.
 
I am very puzzled! You have a horse that is worked hard seven days a week so is presumably incredibly fit but you can't ride him every day and your sharer can't do much more than walk and trot safely so who is working him hard the days that you can't when you are working full time - presumably not the sharer!

novice sharer is perfectly safe and happy to walk and trot safely by herself, the first time I had left her to her own devices is when she attempted to jump!!
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You also say that she goes to do the horse because you can't when you are working late and yet this is the first time you have left her to her own devices?

I am either smelling a rat or you did an absolutely dreadful job of finding a suitable sharer for your horse. Either way you are just as much to blame as the poor 'bloody sharer'. You should be grateful that no one has been hurt!
 
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