Bonding with a new horse

R_Owen

R_Owen

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Hi all,

I sadly lost my horse very suddenly to colic 3 weeks ago today.

I got a new horse 2 weeks ago today. I originally wanted to wait a few months before getting another horse. But, I had alot going on at home and needed my special place to go to.

I saw a horse by chance advertised on Facebook and he was exactly what I wanted, knowing that if I didn't go see him I would be full of regret in a few months time.

He's a lovley 16h 3 yr old warmblood cross, I've found no fault with him at all so far. He was great travelling, calm to ride, great to worm today and loves a cuddle. I'm very found of him, however I think I'm struggling a little as I've lost my boy so recently. I've got this week off work and was woundering if anyone has any tips to help me improve my bond with him.

Thanks
 
It's hard when you are missing your old horse. Maybe think about how your youngster must be feeling and empathise with him, he's left his home, his old friends, he doesn't know why this has happened, so it's your job to make him feel secure and loved in his new home.
 
Thanks all, I think it is going to take a little time. I've going for a completly different type of horse which helps, I lost a black 15h heavy weight gypsy cob, with lots of feather. I've now got a 16h, skewbald, warmblood x. He's a beautiful horse and has been very well behaved so far.
 
So sorry for your loss.

It is soon to love another… I don't think you should try to love your new horse. The idea of feeling empathy for him is a great one though. He has no real idea what has happened to him, he's moved home, has a new person to deal with, and must be feeling a bit insecure. He sounds like a darling as he has been a good boy so far. maybe just pretend to yourself that he is someone else's and just be kind to him (I am sure you would be anyway).

In hand work can be very good for bonding - some de-spooking using plastic bags on sticks or buzzy noises like clippers can be a nice way to establish trust (if you know more or less what you are doing) - it is a great feeling when a horse who has jumped away from the rustly bag, by 20 mins later is standing calmly with it waving around, builds trust on both sides.

But mainly, don't try and rush your relationship. Enjoy the smell and feel of him, cry into his mane if you need to, and be someone who he enjoys spending time with. That's all you need. Good luck together x

ETA both Trigger and Orion are beautiful. Orion doesn't look 16hh in that pic he could be 13hh!
 
You could walk him out in hand. Sounds boring, but it's a really nice way to get to know a horse. Just amble along, talking away to them is so peaceful.
 
Sorry for your loss Trigger was a beautiful boy. With your new boy if he is 3 I would be spending lots of time with him on the ground, you could do pole work, getting him used to spooky stuff etc he looks a lovely boy and very sensible for 3 but I wouldn't rush him and id only be riding quietly once a week as he still looks as though he has a lot of developing to do and is quite weak behind. Good Luck :)
 
Simply spending as much time as you can in his company just being around him,getting to know his personality and observing him.Standing quietly in his stable close to him and freeing your mind of any thoughts helps you relax and you can "tune "in to how he is feeling too.I do this with my horse for about 10 mins.most days .It really helps me unwind just setting aside that time.He sounds like a lovely boy, things will feel strange for him too so take your time and a trusting partnership will develop.
 
Its really very sad that you have lost your old horse. Just see that you don't compare your new horse with your old one because then you would never be able to make a good relation with your new horse. Just treat him in a different way as you treat your child. I think you must check out this link: http://www.wikihow.com/Bond-With-Your-Horse-Using-Natural-Horsemanship. It will surely help you...
 
Thanks all, I've spent most of the day with him today just grooming him ect. He's a fab boy and has a lot of growing to do. Therefore we are just doing small amounts of hacking, mainly walk with the odd little trot. I'm planning to bring him on very slowly, he's not cantered yet and won't be for a long time. I do think alot of him and I'm sure in time we will develop a strong bond.
 
((HUGS))

its so hard when you loose one, and it does take time, it sounds look you are doing all the right things, so I'm sur you will be fine. Just remember its ok to have off days too, but they will get less and less.
 
I lost my wonderful gelding in February to cancer. He first saw the vet on a Saturday and he was pts on the Monday. It was very sudden. My daughters horse wasn't coping too well on his own and I couldn't hold onto my place at the livery yard indefinitely so 3 weeks later my new mare arrived. I liked her but I didn't love her the way I loved my old boy. I've had her nearly 3 months and yesterday took her out for a solo hack. She was foot perfect even though she's only young and something just seemed to click. I fell in love! I think I was still grieving for my boy, and then I read a poem that had a line about the horse you've lost sending you another earth angel, it was at that moment that I realised my new girl was not my old horse and that I could love her, not necessarily in the same way, but just as much as I did my old horse. Give yourself time.....it will happen :)
 
Aww thank you. I'm sure it will happen just going to take a bit of time. He's such a genuine type of horse, it will be worth the wait. As I know once it happens we will be life long partners.
 
I bought my mare 2 months after I lost Pinto to colic. It took a loooong time for me to bond with her, up to a year I think.

I now love her to bits, but it has taken a long time to get there.
 
I had the most lovely horse PTS in April last year - I had only had him for about 9 months but I had such a strong bond with him having hunted him. I picked up the new horse the day before he was PTS and never really gave the new horse a chance. She wasn't him.

It took a long time for us to even come close to bonding and I wouldn't say we ever really did properly bond. I put her out on loan and then sold her for £1 to the loanees. They have bonded brilliantly and the mare is in the right home now.

I have a new horse on loan who I have bonded with massively already and I've only had him 2 months. Horses for courses - the mare was never going to be my type of horse although I tried to persuade myself she was.
 
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