Bonding with horse quandary

[BellaL]

If she's very shy and doesn't like riding in front of others, I wonder if the idea of viewing other horses and riding in front of the owners is putting her off.

this was definitely correct! She hates the thought of others looking at her in this way unless they are people she knows well. So ..... we overcame the issue and a horse was viewed yesterday and another today - virtues of a well timed PD day at her school!!

and the result ......... she wants the mare we have !!! She has just had the most amazing time in her in the arena and she is beaming! Not only this but the owner is happy to extend the loan for another month at a small cost until we are absolutely sure . Owner is as keen for her to be a right match as we are. this also means that we can view any others if she wants to but after today I am not sure she will want to!

 

[Winters100]

winters post #20 clarifies that it was a rear.

Thanks for the clarification Ester.

IMO, which may of course be wrong because I don't have the whole picture, a horse that rears because she was hanging on a bit too much while going up a slight incline is probably not one who I would want to buy for a teenager who has only been riding a 'kick along' before.

Teenagers can sometimes be very worried about what others think. Maybe she feels that her friends will think less of her if she doesn't keep trying with this horse.

Maybe I am too cautious, but I would not keep a horse that had reared during the trial period.

 

[BellaL]

She’s not too bothered about her friends and their thoughts really. She’s quite independently minded if that makes sense.

We have another month to go anyway. I have to admit to her having shown to be extremely calm and well behaved since though. I’m feeling much more positive now though that we will be able to make a measured decision. Viewing other horses has been incredibly helpful and we will try and view some more. In the meantime she has weekly lessons ahead all scheduled within the loan period .

 

[BellaL]

She’s not too bothered about her friends and their thoughts really. She’s quite independently minded if that makes sense.

We have another month to go anyway. I have to admit to her having shown to be extremely calm and well behaved since though. I’m feeling much more positive now though that we will be able to make a measured decision. Viewing other horses has been incredibly helpful and we will try and view some more. In the meantime she has weekly lessons ahead all scheduled within the loan period .

Don’t mean she’s not bothered about her fitness as such. Mean that she’s not heavily influenced by them if that makes sense!!

 

[Winters100]

Great that you have another month - well done for arranging that. It should become clear during this time if the horse is a good fit, especially if you have an instructor to help

 

[fredflop]

How old is your daughter? Tbh it sounds like you need to sit down with her and have a proper “adult” conversation with her. Whilst teenagers can be moody etc, I think if you are honest with her, and try and treat her more like an adult than a child, things will be easier all round.

my mother was incapable of doing this... it was either... you will, your not having that or we are doing it my way. Leading on to the your not going on the Scout camp as you will get murdered. (Honestly how stupid!)

 

[View]

. To be honest it was definitely too much too soon to hack so early on and we know that for sure. We would love to turn back time and not to have hacked too quickly but she did and we can’t change that now.

Don’t beat yourself up about this. If she felt comfortable in the school in WTC, it was NOT to soon to hack. For me, too much emphasis is placed on schooling only in a school.

Real life enjoyable riding, especially for teenagers, is about hacking, beaches, popping logs. We schooled on hacks because we had no school - but when I spent a summer teaching in a riding school and had my horse there, it was my horse I used to teach those ready how lateral work feels, what the difference between working/medium/extended is, how it feels when a horse is working through.

it’s good that the loan has more time and lessons are arranged - but a teenager should be riding many horses and ponies. I was a rider for a dealer at weekends and holidays while at school - I learnt so much from all the different horses and ponies.