Bonding with my horse...

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JessMannion

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hello - this is my first ever post you lucky readers lol- i am about to get my first horse (hes awesome-henry when he arrives ill put pictures) but i was wondering how best to bond with him? is Join up worth a try? are there other better ways? id be gratefull for any help!
 
i know you cant generalise but how long does it take - im just so keen for it to work out- if you see what i mean this is somethin that ive want for so long and now what if he doesnt like me?
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Hi JessieM and welcome to the forum. Groundwork builds bonds that last. Just basic stuff: leading without barging or dragging, forward, back, side yield. Grooming - find where he likes to be scratched. Sit with him while he munches a hay net. Be the bringer of good things (I don't mean just feeds and treats). Then maybe show him round the yard and local lanes in hand. Maybe a couple of lessons together then away you go! Enjoy and hurry with pics!!!
 
Yes, time and patience counts for a lot, along with being a calm leader that is trustworthy. Spend time with him and don't push him further than necessary in his work. Have fun with your new horse.
 
i agree with sunnymum, spend the time to get to know him. going for a walk in hand is a great way to spend time and get a bit of exercise. every so often i do this with my mare and she just is so much more relaxed when we are walking together.
 
I agree with Sunnymum and the rest.

But when he arrives he may well be nervous and try you out a bit, he may barge and be spooky on the lead rein as he doesn't know therefore trust you yet.

Make sure you don't let him have the upper hand right from the start, but still be his nice guardian. If he tries to push you, firmly and fairly shove (sharp finger or pinch and poke) him back where he is meant to be. Careful he doesn't try to push out of the stable door.

Immediately he is where he is meant to be or behaving in any way correctly, lots of praise, scratches, stroking, etc.

Be quiet, calm, reassuring, make sure he lets you approach him in the field, take him a carrot or something, then walk away.

He will probably start to like you within two to three days. Bonding is a more personal concept, when you think that is happening only you can know. If he does what you want positively and you feel comfortable on him, that would probably be most of it!

Some horses never look for humans over the stable door, some whinny to you as you approach even though they have their mates around them. That varies.

Congratulations on your purchase and all the best. I hope you have a long and rewarding life together. Can't wait to see pics!

xx
 
spending lots and lots of time with him, learning where he likes to be scratched (neck, maybe ears, poll, above eyes, jaw, withers are good places to start) are the first things, definitely. give him a nice massage, on all the soft non-tickly bits (i.e. avoid bony parts like hip bones and point of shoulder, and tickly parts like tummy etc until you know he doesn't mind!) if you can be the one who gives him his feeds, so much the better... a lot of it's cupboard love, whatever anyone says!
i don't know about join-up... i've done it with difficult ones, and it's helped, but with normal, friendly, well-handled horses, it's there already really... and they just tend to look at you as if you're a loony in my experience, with a sort-of "why do you want me to go away? i'm perfectly happy here" expression. one mare, who i'd bred, got so offended at being driven away that she jumped out of my round-pen (about 4' high) and sulked for half an hour. i never did it again, and we stayed best of friends.
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if he's pushy, which i hope he isn't, then the first Parelli game is very good, teaching them to respect your personal space and move front or hind end away from you immediately.
good luck!
 
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