Bonding with your horse - what does it mean to you?

[WelshD]

I think it means very different things to different people. To me it means feeling comfortable with my horse, like pulling on a old pair of socks. Or maybe like an old married couple, you know what they are thinking and they know what you are thinking....you are a team. It certainly doesn't mean that I am afraid to ride my horse but then I am one of those strange people who thinks that owning a horse is about more then riding!

I think my thoughts are along this line. I have one pony who co-operates with me (usually!) we are good for each other and so I think there is probably a bond there. I had another pony that I couldn't cope with and we never got to that level of cooperation, I now have a new pony who gelled with me straight away so while I dont see 'bonding' in a touchy feeley way I do think that there is some merit in the idea of having some sort of a bond with your equine

 

[Honey08]

Camel reckons it means that the human may now be trusted to stand watch during nap time. Mammoth reckons it means the human is worth whickering to. Human would like it to mean that neither horse will choose grass over being caught in this summer, but is fully prepared for this not to be the case...

Lol, yes that sounds about my level too!

 

[Pippity]

To me, it means that I've moved beyond the general affection I have for (pretty much) all horses to having affection for this specific horse. And that affection is usually prompted by getting to know the horse's foibles - what'll make them shy, what apparently terrifying things they'll be fine with, the little hints that today's going to be a spooky day or a quiet day, knowing the right spots to scratch. And knowing that kind of thing is what makes the horse, in turn, gradually start to trust that I'm a person who can be relied on.

I've recently started riding a new horse, to keep him exercised while his owner recovers from an operation. He's on full livery, and it's made me realise how much of that 'getting to know you' is done on the ground. Part of me enjoys not having to muck out, or hike up the field and wade through mud to bring him in (especially as he can be a ****** to catch), but I'm definitely missing out on a lot.

 

[Equi]

Not really sure. I have a bond with my old loan cob and still visit him to me our bond was trust - I knew he was reliable. My mare I have a bond of cuteness. She's so cuddly and gentle. My little gelding is a torture in the best way. He always makes me laugh. So I think a bond to me is being able to know the characteristics of a horse which may be why I didn't bond with my last loan, she was a different horse any time you seen her, there was no consistency.

 

[Suechoccy]

trust and know each other's foibles, know their itchy spots, know how far they go when they act-up, know when you can safely ignore/laugh at their antics cos they are antics for show not antics with malice, etc. My old boy makes me laugh and is generous-minded and a comedian. My youngster pulls the most horrible-brat faces but loves a cuddle and attention.

 

[SO1]

I am not sure I believe in bonding in horses unless it is horses bonding with other horses. I adore my pony but I think the best we can really get to is an understanding where both sides are able to communicate what they want and are understood and we feel safe in each others company and that times spent together is mainly pleasant.

I may be his favourite person {though he likes anyone who feeds him or makes him feel comfortable or safe} but other horses are definitely more important to my pony than I am and in a way that is how it should be as he is a horse after all and he does spend most of his time with his field mates not me.

 

[flirtygerty]

It's what people who are too scared to ride their horses do...

This is total BS, I really hope you thought you were being amusing.
I have 4 very different horses, ride every one of them and have a strong bond with 3 of them, all come to my whistle, with no treats/feed involved, my horses all know their boundaries, yet chose to follow me, often without any headcollars, my first horse was jealous of any attention I gave the others or my OH, one hack, my OH commented on my lads reaction to us holding hands, did the same hack, same horses with my daughter, held hands and no reaction from my lad. Because of his jealousy, I did have to get tough with my lad and things settled down.
My old TB will stand behind me if he is being bullied, a huge regret was selling him, the one and only time he refused to load (just once) was taking him to his new home, he was gifted back to me two years later and the bond was still there, collecting him, he all but ran up the ramp.
My4 yr old cob canters up on the whistle, just so he can be first to say hello, bonds with any animal are not uncommon, because I am calm and consistant with animals, I even had a bond with a Dexter bull, very useful when he went walkabout and he wasn't even mine.
Would you like any more examples blitznbobs

 

[only_me]

I don't try to bond - but I think bonding is when you just 'fit' with each other. It's that instant feeling you get when trying a horse and there is that click, hard to describe. Those that have felt that click will know what I mean

It is a feeling, where you just know right away that this is your horse. I suppose for me that is the instant bond, and once home the bond only strengthens. If you don't feel that click on your first sit then I dont think you ever fully bond with the horse. I ride mainly by feel which is another hard thing to explain.

Personally, I feel that there is a strong bond with horse/rider if the horse is lying down (or flat out) be it in the field or stable and trusts you enough that horse remains down if you walk up to them. I know I have a good bond with billy, but again it is that feeling.

 

[only_me]

This is total BS, I really hope you thought you were being amusing.
I have 4 very different horses, ride every one of them and have a strong bond with 3 of them, all come to my whistle, with no treats/feed involved, my horses all know their boundaries, yet chose to follow me, often without any headcollars, my first horse was jealous of any attention I gave the others or my OH, one hack, my OH commented on my lads reaction to us holding hands, did the same hack, same horses with my daughter, held hands and no reaction from my lad. Because of his jealousy, I did have to get tough with my lad and things settled down.
My old TB will stand behind me if he is being bullied, a huge regret was selling him, the one and only time he refused to load (just once) was taking him to his new home, he was gifted back to me two years later and the bond was still there, collecting him, he all but ran up the ramp.
My4 yr old cob canters up on the whistle, just so he can be first to say hello, bonds with any animal are not uncommon, because I am calm and consistant with animals, I even had a bond with a Dexter bull, very useful when he went walkabout and he wasn't even mine.
Would you like any more examples blitznbobs

She means waving a carrot stick and playing games with your horse etc. and other commercial means of "bonding" with your horse which just happen to a) involve a lot of money and b) tend to involve people who dont ride
(Ps. No offence to anyone who takes part in such activites)

 

[ozpoz]

Bonding is when the relationship comes from the heart of both horse and rider, I think. Hard to describe, but you know when it is there.

 

[turnbuckle]

Hard to describe...but you know it when you get it.....mutual understanding might do for want of anything better. And I very strongly believe one can bond across species - without being overly sentimental or indulgent or coochie-coo. Well, not often, anyway....

 

[pansymouse]

Hard to describe...but you know it when you get it.....mutual understanding might do for want of anything better. And I very strongly believe one can bond across species - without being overly sentimental or indulgent or coochie-coo. Well, not often, anyway....

You've got it.

My mare and I have a great bond. We're both stand-offish and unsentimental but we trust each other, have a shared need for speed and generally have a great time when we're doing stuff together.

 

[MS123]

Bonding is when the relationship comes from the heart of both horse and rider, I think. Hard to describe, but you know when it is there.

I agree with this. I had this with both of my mares. Though the relationships were very different, that feeling was still there.

 

[Merrymoles]

For me it means mutual trust and a desire to be in each others' company.

My horse knows my Land Rover too - it's the only car he responds to and it amuses the other people on the yard to see him respond when I arrive. He always comes to me in the field and quite often follows me around like an overgrown puppy when I am poo picking. He often gets nothing more than my attention (and that's usually telling him not to knock the bl**dy barrow over) but that does it.

I'm not a big fan of cuddly, over-emotional relationships with animals but I am proud that I have a trusting horse who sees me as his comfort blanket. When he arrived, he did not trust anyone but he is now learning that people can be trusted and is "friends" with nearly everyone he meets.

 

[JFTDWS]

I don't think that different species can genuinely bond. I love Alf, but I don't have the same relationship with him as I have with other humans (that would be weird). He is keener on me than he is on other people, but that's because I feed him, give him carrots, and scratch his itchy bits. I'm under no illusions that given the choice, he'd rather be in the field with another horse, than tucked up in my living room with me.

See I strongly suspect Fergus would like to be curled up on the sofa watching soap operas and eating crisps...

Dae, on the other hand would be out in a hot hatch, screeching around a carpark with a cap on backwards...

 

[Meowy Catkin]

 

[Joyous70]

For me it means getting to know them, finding out their likes and dislikes both on the ground and under saddle. It is having experiences that are new to us as a team, though we each may have done the same activities with others, finding out the best way to go about things and how the horse and I fit together in life. It is finding out what worries them and trying to find ways to overcome those fears and building trust whilst we do that, or alter things to make life less stressful for them. We have a bond when I know that they will try their hardest to do as they are asked even if scared and they know that I will try my best to keep them safe at all times.

I agree with this.

I have had my youngster just over 2 years now, i feel i know her very well and we have a very good relationship, Its taken time, patience and understanding for us to get to know each other, but i feel as though we do understand each other, im very aware of her likes and dislikes, and also the fact that providing i ask the questions properly she will do her best to give me the answers, sometimes i have to think outside the box.

 

[9tails]

7 years and I can count on one hand the number of times my horse has whickered to me! That said, we have a fabulous bond and I think that's mostly down to ensuring her home environment is right for her. From the stressed worrier that I bought I now have a content horse that takes the lead from me and trusts that I won't throw her to the lions.

 

[misskk88]

To me, a 'bond' is about a mutual trust (through security, consistency, a good environment and boundaries), understanding and respect. This is through learning to read each others language, and to fully understand what the other is saying. This is what will then see your horse 'save' you, or help you out in tricky situations, and will see your horse look to you for confidence or security, thus securing the bond. When that all clicks in to place, it is hard thing to describe, but you can certainly feel it.

I think horses usually learn to know what usually means the arrival of food, treats, or fuss. There actions do not take away from the fact they know us, or their owners, but I think a true bond is more reflected in the horses behaviour and trust in you, rather than who rattles the feed bucket!

I wonder if the horses dominance/submission in a natural herd also impacts on what we perceive as a 'bond'?

I only say this as my first horse was way down the pecking order, and so he naturally tended to trust in the human-horse relationship, looking for instruction and confidence from his human. Because he relied on me, our relationship built more quickly. My current mare is top ranking in the herd. She respects me, knows who I am and is well behaved, but I feel her confidence in her own position means she wouldn't necessarily seek to follow instruction or order as much as my old horse and would naturally challenge this given an opportunity? Not saying my opinion is right and applies to every owners situation, but just something that sprung to mind as I was writing this!

 

[kayleigh97]

Me and my mare have been together for 5 years now, although I trained her at a producers yard previously. Now being a producer myself I have horses coming out my ears and she sometimes get forgotten about, we value the time we spend together, nothing makes me happier when she looks at me with her cheeky face then grabs my zip on my brand new jacket and insists on pulling it up and down(until she occasionally breaks it lol!).

We spend a lot of time in the stable, just sitting, letting her eat her hay so I can take in her body language, but I always move rather quickly when she try's to make me into a human hay bale! She trusts me and knows when I'm on a down day, I tell her all my problems/worries and although she can't do anything about it she always listens.
Sadly she will be for sale at the end of the year, it really will break my heart.

 

[Podgelover]

It's a partnership. I'm sure moreon my part than his. I know all his itchy spots, all the spots he doesn't like itching. I can tell straight away if hes having a bad day, and I do believe horses too have bad days. We hack out and if something is scary he expect me to push him through it and reassure him! That's a bond! He may not be overly cuddly and he doesn't even whinny at me yet. But he will happily wait for me at the gate when he hears my car, same way as in the morning his head comes flying out of the stable when he hears my car! Hahah, maybe he's bonded more with his routine than me!

 

[Shady]

for me i know that come hail or sun , wind or rain nothing less than Armageddon is going to stop my horse getting me home safely.
Mr P on the other hand .... well you'd have to ask OH that but i think he'd say he's an idiot but he's HIS idiot.

 

[EquiEquestrian556]

I think bonding is important, and I have a very strong bond with my mare.

I think it's a partnership, for example, you trust your horse with your life, and in return they trust you with theirs.

My mare will 'talk' to me, nickering when I dismount, and when she sees me, following me around (not for food), grooming me, and showing affection. The horse is an animal, not a machine, and I think that they should want to work *with* us, not because we tell them to.

 

[Cobbytype]

I had a very strong bond with my second horse. I saw him the day he was born, he was with his mum, stuck in a back of beyond field full of cows. I asked the farmer if he was for sale and 6 months later he arrived in the back of a trailer with his mum, completely untouched by human hands. Mum was led in the stable, foal followed and mum was led back out and then the farmer cleared off. Not the nicest weaning and it took 10 days to get a head collar on him. He soon became confident and full of mischief. He got on really well with his 'step-dad' (my first horse) and I spent hours with him/them. He saw me as part of the herd and would shout when I arrived and when I left.

I used to feel very honoured when I fed the horses; despite his love of food, he'd leave off eating and follow me to the gate to grab a few minutes of quality time away from horse number 1 and 3. Here he is as a yearling, learning all about tractors:

For me, the 'not riding stuff' was just as enjoyable as the riding and I loved spending time with the horses. The time spent with my foal during his growing up reaped its rewards and he was the most kind and well mannered horse I'd wish to meet... and he was lovely to ride too. And if that's being soppy and soft, so be it, but there is something very spiritual about a close relationship/bond with a horse that is priceless. My goodness me, how I miss it all.

 

[NZJenny]

I don't like the word "bond", it's just a bit fluffy and conjures up wistful dreaming about Anne Macaffery's dragons ...

Trust, mutual respect - both of which are earned are more like it and then I just see it as a partnership. I have my half of the deal (lifes necessites and comforts) and they have their half - for about an hour or so a day, you will do as I ask.

I bred two of mine and bought the other two as youngsters, the oldest is now 23 and the youngest is three. If they had to go and live with someone else, all being equal, they would be just fine. However given their phenomenal memories, I'm sure they would remember the other person if we happend to meet up again.

 

[OwnedbyJoe]

See I would have agreed with NZJenny and said I don't really believe in "bonding".. I know my horses quite like me, and they all seem to enjoy what I ask them to do, but mutual respect was about as far as I would have gone in describing it.
Then I did a 100 mile ride with my horse... 5 miles from home we got lost, blundered around in the dark for a while, then finally found the last checkpoint. At which point I was totally "spent", fairly emotional, and considering pulling. Joe took charge and took me home. I'm sure I thought I was a complete idiot since HE knew where home was even if I didn't!
The next day I got up and fed him breakfast and he left his meal and came over to me, stuck his head in my chest and just stood there for several minutes. It was the first time he had ever asked for a "hug" and since then he has done it on a frequent basis. Before every ride I get a quick hug. I have also noticed that since then, when we are camping at rides, he will lie down and have a long sleep in his yard attached to the trailer. He never used to do this, so clearly I have been promoted to someone he can trust to keep watch while he sleeps.
Maybe I'm being sentimental. Maybe I just look at him with new eyes since he has achieved amazing things for me, but I really think we have gone from mutual respect to a "bond". We've got each other's backs.

 

[windand rain]

bond to me is a bit difficult to explain My horses are in a way bonded they would all chose me over food or going away, they shout and come running when I arrive they know the car and will trust me to take them strange places, but in another way no horse is likely to mourn its owner most are happy to change alliance when sold, and although routines may change after a fairly short while they settle in to a new one. That is where I don't think it is a bond, a bond is unbreakable without severe distress I think animals do put faith in humans to keep the safe and comfortable but I do not think it is an unshakeable tie from one to the other. Perhaps it is a form of love where there is infinite room for more love so it is possible to move on Don't know it is a bit of a philosophy really as no one will ever know. I spend a lot of time on the ground with mine now but used to ride all the time even then I have always been able to catch my horses always had them follow me around the field and they do some pretty strange things.

The pony that hates kids will leave his feed to make sure they are ok and stand by them while they play as long as they stay out of his field he attacks if they come in. He also comes to be ridden picking up any bridle and trying to put it on by putting his head in the leather and grabbing the bit will stay within feet of people poo picking and is constantly watching out for his people. He is very strange