Breed compromise

[julesjoy]

Mentioned on another thread, I prefer spaniels whilst my partner prefers labradors or retrievers. I currently have my eye on a litter of spanners, but partner isn't being swayed. We had always planned to get a dog in a couple of years, so if we don't get a puppy now, I can foresee us having the same issue then - him not wanting a spaniel and me not wanting anything but so we end up without! How do people compromise when you and who you live with have such vastly different preferences?

 

[Quigleyandme]

You could get one of each ?

 

[EllieBeast]

I like the one of each idea! Is this just for a pet, or are you wanting to work it?

If the latter, go for an HPR ? drive of a spaniel, size of a lab and master of many jobs!

 

[AmyMay]

It seems like you want the same sort of thing really. A biddable dog to have fun with. So you’re not actually poles apart. It’s not like one of you wants a Poodle and the other a German Shepherd.

You should each write down the pros and cons of each breed, what you like about your breed choice and go from there.

 

[ester]

You could get one of each ?

Yeah I'm not seeing the problem here OP. . .

 

[julesjoy]

I won't get away with suggesting one of each unfortunately, too many animals already for his liking ? I'd say just a pet rather than working first and foremost.

I like the size and nuttyness of spanners, they make me laugh. He thinks they are too small and nutty ? But yes, a nice fun, family friendly dog up for an active and varied life.

I've just had a Google of HPR dogs, thanks for the suggestion. I like the setter's looks most but haven't met any to know what their personalities are like.

 

[DabDab]

Do you not like lab/GRs? Or is it just that you really like spaniels?

In terms of a compromise...maybe a pointer?

 

[nagblagger]

Visit a rescue centre together, you will come home with a completely different dog, a unique heinz57..??

 

[Jenko109]

Border collie.

Bit bigger than a spaniel so ticks his 'not too small' box. If you can cope with spaniel energy, then you should cope with border collie energy ?‍

Super smart and trainable.

 

[julesjoy]

GR are a bit too hairy for my liking. And a bit big. I've known several lovely Labs and GR. They just don't set my heart on fire the way spaniels do.

Can collies cope with pet homes? Does it depend on bloodlines? I do love them but after seeing some working day in and day out on a farm I didn't think they'd do well in a pet home so had discounted them. Would be great for rounding up the equally energetic children when we are out!

Would be quite happy with a Heinz57 rescue, if any rescue place was happy giving to a home with young children!

 

[P3LH]

I’m not the right person to ask as when faced with reoccurring ‘no,no,no’ from an OH who didn’t get the attraction to a breed at all - I still did what I planned to. But I am a nightmare to share a life with : )

I also knew my OH well enough to know what would happen. True to form, she became besotted with the dog of a breed she didn’t remotely get my fascination with - and effectively stole her. A second followed two years on and it is now she more than me, keen for a third.

Equally she wasn’t keen on big hairy dogs when we first got together either, but fell in love with my rough collies who predated her.

Our agreement in life is she’s happy as long as as there’s a few things in the house that wag its tail and she fawns over - and I get my own way in terms of breeds as I am the main joey who does all the actual jobs that go with having dogs.

I realise not everyone has an OH who is as used to being long suffering as mine but I use the GOOJF card of ‘you knew what I was like when you met me’!!!

 

[julesjoy]

P3LH - I am exactly the same and have many animals for this reason, but they are mine whilst a dog would be a more shared responsibility so I don't feel I can push any further at this point in time. I was hoping he'd fall for the cute puppies and be persuaded, but sadly not so far (keeps fingers crossed anyway). Hence wondering, if puppies don't work as a persuasion tool, how on earth would we ever meet in the middle!

 

[nagblagger]

I heard collies can be unpredictable around small children and my first was. However the one I have now absolutely loves them, would play all day with them. Maybe I should bring him round to convince your OH..?

 

[P3LH]

P3LH - I am exactly the same and have many animals for this reason, but they are mine whilst a dog would be a more shared responsibility so I don't feel I can push any further at this point in time. I was hoping he'd fall for the cute puppies and be persuaded, but sadly not so far (keeps fingers crossed anyway). Hence wondering, if puppies don't work as a persuasion tool, how on earth would we ever meet in the middle!

My post was of course meant to be tongue in cheek - it’s difficult when there’s no leverage/an out and out no. In my case I knew it wasn’t, it was that she’s a creature of habit who has had the same breed at home forever. Perhaps discuss pros and cons with OH and try and see what it is they aren’t specifically keen on

 

[julesjoy]

I'll need to ask his opinion on collies to be honest, as said above I'd discounted them previously! Thanks for the alternate suggestions people.

 

[Jenko109]

I've only really known 4 collies. All in pet homes and all were absolutely fine. They of course need the exercise and thrive off learning, but I certainly wouldnt discount one. Just do your research into the right breeder I guess.

 

[Moobli]

I’m not sure a border collie is the family friendly pet dog you’re looking for. My OH is a shepherd and we recently rehomed two collies from pet homes they weren’t suited to. I could literally take in a collie every day of the week at the moment as there are so many in unsuitable non working homes.
A compromise, if you like collies, would be to get an older rescue/rehome that is used to children and has been discounted for work. There are lots and lots (and lots more!) in rescue centres and breed specific rescues up and down the country.

 

[julesjoy]

That sounds like a good way to approach it, Moobli

 

[AmyMay]

P3LH - I am exactly the same and have many animals for this reason, but they are mine whilst a dog would be a more shared responsibility so I don't feel I can push any further at this point in time.

In that case, I’d let him get the breed that he’d like.

 

[DabDab]

Flat coated retriever maybe? As a slightly less chunky retriever option?

In that case, I’d let him get the breed that he’d like.

I think I would be of this mind too though

 

[NinjaPony]

What about a Duck Toller retriever? Smaller than a GR, a bit more driven and active but a great all round family pet with enough exercise.

 

[Clodagh]

I would never have another spaniel. I don’t really think they are like Labradors at all, a million times harder work!
Pointers and setters generally seem even harder work than spaniels!
I’d get a working bred Labrador, all the fun of a spaniel but one you can actually take for walks and relax with. ?

 

[greasedweasel]

Same here except our poles are further apart! I’m a whippet person, he’s labs, compromising on a Bavarian Mountain Hound!

 

[SAujla]

What about a staffy? They have high energy and I've met a few that are as crazy as anything (in a good way).

 

[HeyMich]

We've had 2 Splabs (Springerdors/Labradingers!) and they are awesome. That would be the ultimate compromise ?

 

[Clodagh]

We've had 2 Splabs (Springerdors/Labradingers!) and they are awesome. That would be the ultimate compromise ?

Spaniel Aid might well have one for rehoming?

 

[julesjoy]

I know they're not your favourite Clodagh! How different are working and show bred labs?

I have known some lovely staffies, but the looks are not for me.

Of course, you are all right and unless he wilts under puppy cuteness I will not force a spaniel on him at this point. Perhaps those suggesting two dogs are right, but we'll start with something he likes or we can both compromise on. Thank you for all the alternative suggestions!

 

[julesjoy]

We've had 2 Splabs (Springerdors/Labradingers!) and they are awesome. That would be the ultimate compromise ?

I think I need one just for the naming ? thank you, another possibility to look into (via rescue).

 

[HeyMich]

I think I need one just for the naming ? thank you, another possibility to look into (via rescue).

Both of ours came from reputable working dog breeders that had "accidental matings". The first Splab was the result of a spaniel getting at a horny lab bitch through a 6' high wire fence! So as they were all happy, healthy working dogs already, the parents were fully health checked, and it sat fine with us that they weren't unhealthy designer crosses.

 

[Clodagh]

You get quite a few if that cross out working. They all look very different but seem nice dogs.
Working bred labs are nuts, high maintenance and need to use their brains but also settle well and are loyal and want to do stuff with you.
My non professional opinion is spaniels are bred to work away from you, hunting, and labs are bred to bring things towards you (retrieving) so their mindset towards the human is different.
If you want very high drive go for a pedigree with loads of red in it. But they can be more difficult.