Breed/Type Owner Stereotypes (For Fun)

[moodymare123]

those novices at the yard that think that there horses breed is palamino....

 

[Kenzo]

Ha, these are brilliant!!!

Can someone do a WB/ID?

Is there an ID one? as I didn't notice one, do us WB/ID owners just merge the two or do we have our own stereotype?

 

[Sleighfarer]

Petite lady owner with large horse

Molly hadn't ridden anything over 13.3hh until she was rising 48. At just a smidgeon over 5 foot she had always been perfectly at home on Smokey, but after the DC tried to herd her into the bending race at yet another village show, Molly decided enough was enough and acquired a real horse befitting a mddle-aged rider.

At 17.2hh Hugo is a trifle larger than Molly had intended, but the dealer said he'd come over from Ireland and was regularly hunted by a 7 year old. Molly is utterly in love with Hugo and pretends not to hear when a visiting instructor tells one of the other liveries that Molly looks like a wart on a pig's arse.

Molly arrives at the yard at 4.30am as it takes her 35 mins just to get Hugo's head collar on - 5 mins to get it over his head, 30 mins to find enough feed buckets to pile up and stand on. By the time the rugs, saddle and bridle are sorted another hour has passed. Hugo munches contentedly on his hay, knowing full well that by the time she's found somebody to leg her up (where *does* the mounting block disappear to?) there will just be time for an amble to the end of the lane and back before Molly has to reverse the process and set off for work.

Molly tells everybody that she rides long because she is a fan of Ulla, but the truth is her feet dangle worryingly near the saddle flaps and Hugo can never be quite sure whether Molly is actually there or not. She has taken to carrying an extra long schooling whip, just to be clear, but is alarmed if Hugo actually starts trotting - it's like being in a rowing boat and she does so suffer from sea sickness.

After turning out Hugo (who obligingly lowers his head for this bit), Molly exchanges pleasantries with the yard owner and wonders if perhaps she'd consider allocating her another bridle peg as stretching to reach the present one often results in a poke in the eye from Hugo's enormous egg butt.

 

[Kenzo]

'Molly looks like a wart on a pig's arse''

LOL

 

[TuscanBunnyGirl]

Anything on Morgans or Coloured Sports Horses?
Some of these are great!! haha
xx

 

[monkeybum13]

The Welsh Sec D

The Welshie and his pet owner are constantly covered in either mud or hay and have that rather "windswept and interesting" look about them. The Welshie makes up for the dirt with his gorgeous gleaming coat..............his owner invariably doesn't. Hacking is the order of the day, however we must remind people that Welshies aren't lazy cobs so the scary thing of the day today is......chickens and cars....and that person walking 100m up the road!

The tbxwelsh

The true fanatics. If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look. While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move. Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony. The horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump. He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit. Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground. On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.

(I own both of these btw so I am using myself and others that I have met as my basis)

Haha, I no someone who is exactly welsh owner and then someone who is exactly welshxtb - the horse is bolshy but in her eyes the best equine ever to grace the earth.

Us sad, lonely standardbred owners always get left out!

 

[Stacey6897]

I can't do Tb or arabs because I own one of the first and half of the second (arab x cob) so will let someone else pick me apart there!

Section A's I'd like to hear about, too hehehe.

ISH's belong to tall women who see no hobby in horsemanship- there's no fun and games its all serious work and eventing/SJ. They know every dam and sire who bred a winning foal since 1845, the bloodlines of every horse they own or would consider owning and can judge the potential jumping height of a full-grown horse from the time its 4 hours old... but have no concept of how to horse around and tutt loudly when they hear of a horse being kept on adlib hay, out 24/7 without a rug.
They either line shelves with whitener and lay rugs out for their horse to walk on to avoid the mud, or just avoid horses with white on them altogether (hence the huge amount of chestnut and bay SJ'ers!) and can be seen using their own nail files on their horses' hoof if the farrier isn't available exactly 4 weeks from the date of shoeing.
Their horse has probably never seen an open field without jumps erected and does not know how to walk a straight line without constant contact, encouragement and aids from their riding. When a human approaches their stall, they autimatically stand in a perfect outline, with their rear end engaged beneath them and their ears pricked prettily for a photo...

Have I taken this too far?

Aaaah, I bought my IDx beastie with aspirations to be this person, creature has other ideas...

 

[Dizzle]

right they may not be very good but here goes:

thoroughbred, has been turned out for 10 mins and is being brought back in, all rugged up from head to toe in a heat wave. his morning feed consists of a bucket full of mix and oats. ridden in a dutch gag and draw reins with a rear and buck to be added, with his sides heaving after bolting and jumping the gate. the owner is tall and slim and has velcrow (to stay on) on her cream breeches and smartly polished boots. box walks and crib bites and even a little wind sucking we all love a nice thoroughbred

I started reading that thinking it was rubbish and then got to the rider section, god that is me... and he crib bites!