Brief Lesson Report...A Thread

[Kunoichi73]

I think you sound like you're doing brilliantly!

Slow and steady progress is much better than fast and crazy! You're much more likely to find and fix minor issues before they become major issues that way. Good luck! ?

 

[smolmaus]

Too much thinking how other riders could just get on and do it or that I am not good enough for the horse.

I think that irritating little brain worm gets everyone. Its easy to say its not true for others, like I am sure it isn't for you! But hard to see in yourself.

 

[Red-1]

I like it now I have CCTV as, if there is an issue, I look back on it. I invariably have found the issue was barely detectable.

I would get a sports action camera, about £30. They record for about an hour and a half, propped up on the school fence. Good to get stuff into perspective, as well as documenting any brilliance!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I like it now I have CCTV as, if there is an issue, I look back on it. I invariably have found the issue was barely detectable.

I would get a sports action camera, about £30. They record for about an hour and a half, propped up on the school fence. Good to get stuff into perspective, as well as documenting any brilliance!

Ooh I have a Chilli bullet cam I bought to use as a hat cam for hacking, I wonder if I can fix it up somewhere in the school. OH was recording basically all of my lessons which was incredibly helpful. I don't have any video of me on share horse yet, it would be very useful to have.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, especially as we're hacking again. I've worked out some steps to progress away from needing OH there all the time which is positive. If I'm up for it tomorrow I will try to take one of those steps and if not I know it's there for next time.

Well I sort of ballsed this up today. I wasn't looking forward to the hack but told myself it's practice and that I felt that way last week but it was fine, even enjoyable. Got going and was alright heading out, added a good long trot and went a bit further than last time. Seemingly going well until I went to pieces for no real reason. He just walks faster going home. Last week I managed my nerves and all was well. It would have been again today but I did cry, give up and got off for the second half of the homeward journey. His owner was supportive, I know I'm being hard on myself. I don't understand how I've gone from being so positive and determined to feeling like giving up all together. Need to regroup!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Wow it's been ages since I've had a lesson! Have one planned for next week, plus a pole clinic (my first one!) the week after.

Hacking-wise I left it alone since the previous post, opting to ride in the school, but the sunshine got me motivated to start working on this again so I went for a teeny tiny hack solo (no OH on foot) up the lane and back, before we went in the school. Tiny step, big smiles!

 

[splashgirl45]

Well done, I know what it’s like to worry about hacking alone, but small steps are the way to go

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Well done, I know what it’s like to worry about hacking alone, but small steps are the way to go

Thank you!

It's not so much heading out that makes me nervous but the coming back. All share horse does is power walk but my mind plays images of him carting me home at speed! This has never happened to me, and as far as I know he has never done that to anyone, so it's quite annoying.

I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to break down the next steps. The next bit of road is quite long and the bit I get most nervous on coming home (once we've turned into the lane home it feels easier). I'm not sure about turning around at random points along the road, it's not busy just not sure if that's teaching him a bad habit. The shortest lollipop ride isn't that long really but feels soooo long when nervous! OH with me helps but not much. I need to get on my Karl Greenwood reading again for some tips!

 

[Kunoichi73]

Your doing great. Taking it easy, slowly and sensibly is by far the best way to do it, rather than pushing too quickly, making a mistake and putting yourself off!

 

[splashgirl45]

Is there anyone at the yard that could go with you for a hack?

 

[millikins]

Have you been taught shoulder in or leg yield? Our first pony was one of those who on occasion would get very buzzy and jig jog down the long, straight track which is at the end of our hacking. I'd make her do these little lateral work exercises, got her listening to me and gave me something to concentrate on rather than being tense and worried. She was fairly cuboid in build so it was never "real" shoulder in but worked for us.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Is there anyone at the yard that could go with you for a hack?

Potentially, I am not sure if they will want to hack with me. I appreciate accompanying nervous riders is not everyone's cup of tea.

Have you been taught shoulder in or leg yield? Our first pony was one of those who on occasion would get very buzzy and jig jog down the long, straight track which is at the end of our hacking. I'd make her do these little lateral work exercises, got her listening to me and gave me something to concentrate on rather than being tense and worried. She was fairly cuboid in build so it was never "real" shoulder in but worked for us.

I do know leg yield and sort of know shoulder in. I could try those. On the way out I'm fairly okay it's just when we've turned for home. Heading out I find going up into trot helps. I tried this one on the way back and he did a real power trot and I think broke into a canter stride. He did come back to me and we power walked home. Perhaps that is when I need to put him to work with the lateral work instead.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Finally a lesson to report on! It didn't really go how I expected, there were lots of tears. My heart broke for a little bit because at points I really thought I need to just give in and give up. I then realised it's the 3rd anniversary of my dad's death on Sunday and maybe my resilience wasn't where I needed it to be today and another day will be better.

OH came with me and I really liked having him there to video. Watching them back is going to be useful to learn from but slightly painful in reliving some really low points. My instructor was supportive but at a loss as to how to help me; from an outside perspective the horse looks fine, riding is okay, and then I pull up for no reason. I wish I could say 'yes I've had a horrible fall' and it would all make sense.

 

[Red-1]

Finally a lesson to report on! It didn't really go how I expected, there were lots of tears. My heart broke for a little bit because at points I really thought I need to just give in and give up. I then realised it's the 3rd anniversary of my dad's death on Sunday and maybe my resilience wasn't where I needed it to be today and another day will be better.

OH came with me and I really liked having him there to video. Watching them back is going to be useful to learn from but slightly painful in reliving some really low points. My instructor was supportive but at a loss as to how to help me; from an outside perspective the horse looks fine, riding is okay, and then I pull up for no reason. I wish I could say 'yes I've had a horrible fall' and it would all make sense.

Be easy on yourself. Feelings like this are why I sold my beautiful competition type mare in 2020 and bought Rigsby! It was all to do with mum's illness and I was already filled with what stress I could take. Give it time and do whatever feels like fun.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Be easy on yourself. Feelings like this are why I sold my beautiful competition type mare in 2020 and bought Rigsby! It was all to do with mum's illness and I was already filled with what stress I could take. Give it time and do whatever feels like fun.

It's why my previous share was perfect while I was doing my thesis. She was a 'plod' as they say (or could plod, she would step up if asked, I just liked life in the slow lane with the odd trot and canter), and that was just right for me at the time. I didn't need any more challenges or to be anywhere but my comfort zone.

Current share is the perfect horse for me to move up a bit from riding school and have opportunities to hack, school, pole clinic, UA dressage etc. He's not sharp or silly, just forward going (although he will go slow-mo if allowed!). In the little snippets of me in a better headspace I get so excited about how I could progress with him. My comfort zone is very slowly expanding with him, it feels like just around the corner something will 'click' and things will feel easier!

 

[splashgirl45]

Agree it’s not everyone’s cup of tea to hack out with a nervous rider , but if I was on the yard and you asked I would be happy to help for a couple of your first hacks.. be brave and ask someone, the worst they can do is say no …

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I quite literally got back on the horse today. Last night was tough and made me realise probably a fair chunk of yesterday was dad/grief related, then getting in my head about having to give up horses all together. A panic attack during dinner was not what I ordered and I woke up feeling quite wobbly this morning. I decided to go to the yard and if nothing else give share horse a groom and fuss.

OH came with me again and this helped make the ride more fun - he's picked up enough watching my lesson yesterday to say things like 'nice square halt, better corners, you need to be more forward though' and 'stop overthinkg and trot when you get to V'. It brought some humour and encouragement, plus some nice photos he took at the end.

 

[Kunoichi73]

Glad to hear you're feeling happier about your riding again.

 

[Red-1]

I quite literally got back on the horse today. Last night was tough and made me realise probably a fair chunk of yesterday was dad/grief related, then getting in my head about having to give up horses all together. A panic attack during dinner was not what I ordered and I woke up feeling quite wobbly this morning. I decided to go to the yard and if nothing else give share horse a groom and fuss.

OH came with me again and this helped make the ride more fun - he's picked up enough watching my lesson yesterday to say things like 'nice square halt, better corners, you need to be more forward though' and 'stop overthinkg and trot when you get to V'. It brought some humour and encouragement, plus some nice photos he took at the end.

He's a keeper for sure.

Photos you say??? I see no photos???

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

He's a keeper for sure.

Photos you say??? I see no photos???

I knew I was right to say yes to his proposal, it only took him 13 years!

I would love to share the photos but have agreed with share horse's owner they are only for my Facebook which is set to private. I could crop them so it's just my grinning chops but that's probably less appealing without share horse in them

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Well... it's interesting reading this thread back just a few months after I started it. Things have gone backwards and I am not completely sure why.

Last visit to share horse was non-riding, the last ride on share horse was literally OH lead reining me around the arena. Saturday I went for a visit to my previous share horse and her owner which was so lovely. I went for a ride with OH on foot, a little nervous in places but we had a couple of little canters (one of them one handed!) Today I went back to RS for a lesson, horse I've enjoyed riding before, a bit of walk and trot, leg yield and shoulder in, then out of the arena for a walk round the site. Led by instructor in places as I got nervous. I like my instructor but I think she's at a bit of a loss with me, which tbh is probably fair enough. I came away feeling quite deflated.

I am really thinking to stop the share now. It's heart-breaking because it's a fab set up and opportunity, I hate the idea of 'giving up', but I am not sure how much longer I can put myself through something I'm not particularly enjoying and seemingly is travelling my confidence the wrong way even if it's not obvious why. The non-riding visit highlighted how much of my on-edge feeling is not about the riding - sometimes there is 'an atmosphere' on the yard and it's hard work to tune it out. On top of trying to tune out my own self-critical thoughts and irrational fears!

In more hopeful news, I've made an application for RDA volunteering and have found another RS with the words 'confidence building' and 'schoolmasters' catching my attention so I have booked in for next month to have an assessment lesson.

Sorry for ramble. Tea and cake if you got to the end!

 

[Red-1]

RDA sounds a positive step. If confidence is failing, I think stopping share horse is good too. I wish you were closer as I think Rigs would give you confidence in spades.

 

[millikins]

Is it an RDA group that offers driving? Perhaps you could try that, your OH or someone else could always be with you then since one isn't supposed to drive alone.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

RDA sounds a positive step. If confidence is failing, I think stopping share horse is good too. I wish you were closer as I think Rigs would give you confidence in spades.

Oh I bet he would, he's such a superstar! I love reading about how he's getting on and how he sounds like my previous share horse in being just the horse that was needed at the time.

It will be hard to give up this share I think, difficult to come to terms with myself and a difficult conversation to have with his owner who has been understanding.

Is it an RDA group that offers driving? Perhaps you could try that, your OH or someone else could always be with you then since one isn't supposed to drive alone.

Ooh I'm not sure, I'll see if I can find out. I'm not giving up on riding together but I would be so open to trying new things out - driving sounds fun, I'd also thought about in-hand TREC or learning to lunge/long line. Maybe I need a specifically non-ridden share if that's a thing?!

 

[The Xmas Furry]

Maybe I need a specifically non-ridden share if that's a thing?!

Wish you were still up this way, you'd be ideal for little A, she adores being groomed, led about and going out on the common for a bear hunt!
See if there are any HHO'ers near you that might want a small pony or older horse given some TLC or in hand walking?

 

[Red-1]

We are fighting over @SaddlePsych'D!

 

[teapot]

Well... it's interesting reading this thread back just a few months after I started it. Things have gone backwards and I am not completely sure why.

Last visit to share horse was non-riding, the last ride on share horse was literally OH lead reining me around the arena. Saturday I went for a visit to my previous share horse and her owner which was so lovely. I went for a ride with OH on foot, a little nervous in places but we had a couple of little canters (one of them one handed!) Today I went back to RS for a lesson, horse I've enjoyed riding before, a bit of walk and trot, leg yield and shoulder in, then out of the arena for a walk round the site. Led by instructor in places as I got nervous. I like my instructor but I think she's at a bit of a loss with me, which tbh is probably fair enough. I came away feeling quite deflated.

I am really thinking to stop the share now. It's heart-breaking because it's a fab set up and opportunity, I hate the idea of 'giving up', but I am not sure how much longer I can put myself through something I'm not particularly enjoying and seemingly is travelling my confidence the wrong way even if it's not obvious why. The non-riding visit highlighted how much of my on-edge feeling is not about the riding - sometimes there is 'an atmosphere' on the yard and it's hard work to tune it out. On top of trying to tune out my own self-critical thoughts and irrational fears!

In more hopeful news, I've made an application for RDA volunteering and have found another RS with the words 'confidence building' and 'schoolmasters' catching my attention so I have booked in for next month to have an assessment lesson.

Sorry for ramble. Tea and cake if you got to the end!

Honestly, go have some fun with some school horses for a while. It's a hobby that's meant to be fun (and safe) at the end of the day

Would happy discuss the fighting the mental self critical demons thoughts by PM too if ever need to vent!

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Wish you were still up this way, you'd be ideal for little A, she adores being groomed, led about and going out on the common for a bear hunt!
See if there are any HHO'ers near you that might want a small pony or older horse given some TLC or in hand walking?

That sounds like literal heaven! We were back for a visit after my graduation ceremony last week and hopefully back again in July when I've got some more time off. Perhaps I can pop by for a flying visit? OH is still working in London struggling to find work in his field over here and we're both not loving the part-time living together situation so at this rate we might end up moving back your way!

We are fighting over @SaddlePsych'D!

Maybe I could go on a HHO tour?!

 

[The Xmas Furry]

That sounds like literal heaven! We were back for a visit after my graduation ceremony last week and hopefully back again in July when I've got some more time off. Perhaps I can pop by for a flying visit? OH is still working in London struggling to find work in his field over here and we're both not loving the part-time living together situation so at this rate we might end up moving back your way!



Maybe I could go on a HHO tour?!

You'll be more than welcome! Drop me a message when you know dates and times etc x

Def go on an HHO tour!

 

[Cragrat]

I have only really scanned the last couple of pages, but I saw twice you said 'my instructor was at a loss with me'

That sounds to me like a change of instructor could be worth a try? Ask for some recommendations in your area for an instructor who has a really good reputation with nervous riders.