Broken dreams

[canteron]

When I first saw this horse I complete fell in love. He came home and all the family instantly felt the same. I had such beautiful dreams, hacking out on autumn morning, doing some dressage and showing and getting out and about
It started off really well and I totally trusted him, but then a road incident put a spanner in the works. Two years on all I have to show is shattered confidence, a few broken bones - and a beautiful Made to Measure saddle. But I still adore him and love just spending time with him.
Tomorrow he goes to a training yard to be assessed whether it’s my rubbish riding or he has a genuine problem. We will see where we go from there, but I doubt I will ever ride him again.
It is either a new more suitable home, or early retirement back with me.
Horses - they give you the best moments and the saddest ?

 

[Keira 8888]

This is so sad. What happened? Sending you a big hug xx

 

[poiuytrewq]

? really sorry to read this.
Don’t be too disheartened, sounds like you both had a massive trauma, things like that take a lot of recovery and recovering together would have been super hard, maybe both reacting on each other’s confidence.
It’s very possible a third person, in this case the pro may be able to help you through perhaps? If they can help your horse and you see that maybe it’ll help restore the relationship?
?

 

[Baywonder]

I am so sorry to hear about all of this - it must have been awful for you.

It is horrible when your dreams are shattered, but I hope the training yard are able to help both of you get back on an even keel and start moving forwards again. X

 

[Muddywellies]

? really sorry to read this.
Don’t be too disheartened, sounds like you both had a massive trauma, things like that take a lot of recovery and recovering together would have been super hard, maybe both reacting on each other’s confidence.
It’s very possible a third person, in this case the pro may be able to help you through perhaps? If they can help your horse and you see that maybe it’ll help restore the relationship?
?

Absolutely this. Don't write off your dreams just yet and perhaps start to think about dusting off your lovely bespoke saddle.

 

[Chinchilla]

the trauma that can come from accidents with these creatures of ours is downplayed a lot. be kind to yourself x

 

[spotty_pony]

So sorry to hear this, what happened? Is it possible the horse has a physical problem?

 

[ponynutz]

I'm really sorry for you OP

If it helps, I was trialing a pony for full loan, until something with the paperwork came up that didn't work for us and we let him go. I was devastated, but I very quickly after that found my horse who has been with me for 7 years now, and who I absolutely love to bits.

*big hugs*

 

[McFluff]

So sorry, what’s horrid place for you.
Coming back from an accident can be very difficult, years ago my friend had a bad accident (car hit her and horse). They both recovered physically but emotionally they didn’t gel after. Horse went to a new home and did very well. Friend got her horse of a lifetime after.
If this dream doesn’t work for you, there’ll be another. Doesn’t make it easier, but be brave and follow your gut.
Hugs.

 

[Trouper]

Was the "incident" his fault - or was it just one of those things? It sounds from your initial post as if you are doing everything for him but what are you doing for yourself to help with the after effects? You were both affected by this and you may need some help yourself.

 

[canteron]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts - I have done everything I can for this horse - had lessons on schoolmasters, had it professionally schooled once a week the lot. I have got my courage together and ridden - sometimes with beautiful results, done lots of in hand work. I just think, when things start to go wrong I don’t have the skills to react and reassure. I suspect somewhere in his past he has been beaten so panics when unsure.
If it turns out to be something physical (and I have had vets Chiro and dentists on the case) he will be the most beautiful field ornament - if it’s me who is the problem then will see if we can find a suitable new partner!

I have a rocking horse - I think that will be my ‘safe’ option now!!

 

[Chinchilla]

what a lucky horse he is to have an owner who goes so above and beyond despite their own struggles though. So many would have given up or just tried to push him on through.
I really hope it all works out for you - either you find something fixable wrong with him, or you find a horse more suited to what you want to do. I do agree that help for yourself shouldn't be overlooked either, for horse/rider partnerships to really work both need to be looked after physically and mentally. Lots of horse owners pull out all the stops for their horse yet forget about themselves.

 

[poiuytrewq]

what a lucky horse he is to have an owner who goes so above and beyond despite their own struggles though. So many would have given up or just tried to push him on through.
I really hope it all works out for you - either you find something fixable wrong with him, or you find a horse more suited to what you want to do. I do agree that help for yourself shouldn't be overlooked either, for horse/rider partnerships to really work both need to be looked after physically and mentally. Lots of horse owners pull out all the stops for their horse yet forget about themselves.

This 100%
If only all horses were as lucky.

 

[Orangehorse]

What a shame for you, but how about unmounted horse agility?

 

[Shilasdair]

Well, 15 years ago I bred my future riding horse - who then had a rare immune disorder/allergy to ryegrass, and cost me £13k uninsured in the space of 18 months.
After a prognosis of rapid expiry (with her condition, they're all dead within 12 to 18 months) she has enjoyed the past nearly 10years lounging around at my expense. To be honest, I regret nothing.

It's what horses do - cost time and money, and shatter dreams and bones.

 

[Chinchilla]

It's what horses do - cost time and money, and shatter dreams and bones.

and we love them for it, don't we. all mad here. we have a tb who is similar. lots of expense gone into him on vets fees and all we have to show for it is a big pet (although a big pet with the most cwtchy velvety nose ever, so maybe worth it.)

 

[Flame_]

Dreams don't break, they evolve!

Good luck finding the right way forward and for an eventual happy outcome, even if it was never what you envisaged.

 

[canteron]

Dreams don't break, they evolve!

Good luck finding the right way forward and for an eventual happy outcome, even if it was never what you envisaged.

Love it x

 

[Ceriann]

My heart goes out to you. I have a 12 year old in the field enjoying life - bought her as a 4 year old. Massive mistake (as just didn’t have the time for a youngster) made worse by the fact there is just something not right with her ridden - unpredictable and dangerous. Broke many bones, destroyed my confidence. Had everything checked, bone scans, the lot and sent her away (they didn’t want to get on!). She’s useless but she’s mine and will end her days with me. I ride another now - lovely and slowly healing the very deep rooted fears I have! I really do hope you get some answers and move on to a better chapter for you both. The plan is in motion!