Building confidence in myself and the horse...

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LittleLady2

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After a terrible ride out which included lots of spooking, spinning, snorting and cantering off I have decided that in order to sort out my problem I need to instil some confidence in my lad. Not only is it ruining my motivation for riding it is also ruining my confidence as I feel like a pretty crappy rider every time I dismount.

My mother walked along side of me today, which turned out to be our worst ride out ever. Also my mother could stress a priest out. I will only have people around to walk out with me on weekends.... but I'm free during the week to ride, so i'm going to need to build up some confidence by myself.

So any advice, tips would be great. Am I looking at walking out in hand? We have a really good bond when I'm on the ground.
 
I'm sure someone will be along with further practical advice shortly, but if you feel that you're communicating your worries to your boy, you could try kalms or rescue remedy. I was quite worried riding my old boy because he was massively unpredictable. First ride I had a big mug of wine before I got on, and it really worked! Then I switched to driver friendly kalms and rescue remedy, which really helped even if they are placebos. I lost my confidence dramatically and sold my old lad, and got what I knew was a very chilled mare. When she started spooking I knew it was me, and went back to kalms and rescue remedy. Now I'm a lot more relaxed, and she is great. Good luck!
 
Thanks SadKen, I do think I am uptight and worried when i'm out riding him which in turn will stress him out which makes me even more uptight and worried so its a vicious circle. When on the ground I am a lot more confident which I think makes him a lot more confident. I do have some rescue remedy here so that may be a good idea.
 
Try walking him out in hand for a while, spend the time talking and singing to him. You might look mental but it will calm both of you and its really great for trust building and bonding
 
Mix in short rides in areas you know will be relatively stress free and give him loads of opportunities to build his confidence and make him proud of his self.

Take so.e time to figure him out and war worries him and try to tackle the root of the problem.
 
I have been in your position - possibly worse. Years ago I was terrified to even get on my well behaved cob, that was my problem not his. I started as small as you can go, I'd ride three or four circuits of the school in walk, he might break into jog for a couple of strides, I'd decide that was enough for the day and quit while I was ahead! Many would say that I was pathetic, but I ensured the situation went well and so increased in confidence. If your horse is not actually scared, then if I were you I would tack him up ready to ride, lunge him off the bridle until he's puffing and panting, making sure that he understands you are in control, leap on and ride him out very positively - straight into a strong trot, get on with it, off you go. If you think his behaviour is due to a genuine fear the above probably won't work and I'd go with a different solution! Good luck - it does get easier.
 
I think leading out in hand is the best, there is only one lane out of my stables and he's been down there loads of times, it just still seems to freak him out. Sometimes he can take the pee a little, but today he was genuinely scared. Maybe if I get him into a routine with a morning walk, and then ask someone to walk out with me on weekends.
 
I just feel so useless, he is a lovely horse and we have a really good bond and i desperately want to get him going well and be able to enjoy our hacks out together. Just every time we go out I feel like neither of us is enjoying it.
 
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