Jinx94
Well-Known Member
If this is your reaction when someone says that they may have to PTS their horse, please, PLEASE keep it to yourself.
This phrase is the source of a lot of pain for me at the moment.
For anyone that hasn't seen my other threads, I have an unbroken 4yo mare diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia. For those that don't know, this is severe nerve pain to the face that causes headshaking.
In her case, it's constant at rest, and varies on the lunge, likely due to the fact that she's had most of the year off and it's exciting. Veterinary recommendation is that she is PTS if we don't find a way to manage it.
Painkillers don't touch it, I'm not going down the PENS route (very expensive, very low success rates) and I am fairly sure that PTS will be the outcome. My vets are normally very peppy and optimistic, but they're all sounding as defeated as I feel. She will be turned away for some time just in case it is seasonal or related to where we are. Maybe we'll be lucky and she'll be one of the 5% that recover spontaneously.
Before that, we're trying her on steroids despite being confident that it isn't allergies and I am also having a cranio-sacral therapist out despite my skepticism. I am trying and failing repeatedly. I have looked at supplements and will continue to do so. If I find something that seems to do the trick, we'll try it, but equally I've maxed out the insurance and spent a good chunk of money already. It sounds awful and I feel awful about it, but I need to be practical going forward. Especially as I have another horse, a new mortgage to pay and only myself to rely on.
There are very few people that choose PTS on a whim. I go backwards and forwards over it all day, every day. The thought of not having her in my life is heartbreaking but the thought of keeping her alive and in constant pain is worse.
She might look "fine" to anyone else. From my perspective, from knowing her, the tension in her face, the near permanent ticks in her facial muscles, the snorting and shaking and twitching and stomping.. that's not right.
This mare used to be so relaxed that her bottom lip never stopped hanging as far from her face as it could. She was a busy body - always bumbling around, finding any reason to squeal and buck and leap around. If a person was there, she'd be all over them. Looking for fuss, resting her head against them. If it were possible, she'd have put her headcollar on herself.
Now she'd rather steer clear. More often than not, I see her standing still. Definitely not relaxed, definitely not alert to what is going on around her.
The whole situation is completely and utterly soul destroying.
So no, she is not fine. And people saying otherwise does nothing other than making an already heartbreaking situation almost unbearable.
This phrase is the source of a lot of pain for me at the moment.
For anyone that hasn't seen my other threads, I have an unbroken 4yo mare diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia. For those that don't know, this is severe nerve pain to the face that causes headshaking.
In her case, it's constant at rest, and varies on the lunge, likely due to the fact that she's had most of the year off and it's exciting. Veterinary recommendation is that she is PTS if we don't find a way to manage it.
Painkillers don't touch it, I'm not going down the PENS route (very expensive, very low success rates) and I am fairly sure that PTS will be the outcome. My vets are normally very peppy and optimistic, but they're all sounding as defeated as I feel. She will be turned away for some time just in case it is seasonal or related to where we are. Maybe we'll be lucky and she'll be one of the 5% that recover spontaneously.
Before that, we're trying her on steroids despite being confident that it isn't allergies and I am also having a cranio-sacral therapist out despite my skepticism. I am trying and failing repeatedly. I have looked at supplements and will continue to do so. If I find something that seems to do the trick, we'll try it, but equally I've maxed out the insurance and spent a good chunk of money already. It sounds awful and I feel awful about it, but I need to be practical going forward. Especially as I have another horse, a new mortgage to pay and only myself to rely on.
There are very few people that choose PTS on a whim. I go backwards and forwards over it all day, every day. The thought of not having her in my life is heartbreaking but the thought of keeping her alive and in constant pain is worse.
She might look "fine" to anyone else. From my perspective, from knowing her, the tension in her face, the near permanent ticks in her facial muscles, the snorting and shaking and twitching and stomping.. that's not right.
This mare used to be so relaxed that her bottom lip never stopped hanging as far from her face as it could. She was a busy body - always bumbling around, finding any reason to squeal and buck and leap around. If a person was there, she'd be all over them. Looking for fuss, resting her head against them. If it were possible, she'd have put her headcollar on herself.
Now she'd rather steer clear. More often than not, I see her standing still. Definitely not relaxed, definitely not alert to what is going on around her.
The whole situation is completely and utterly soul destroying.
So no, she is not fine. And people saying otherwise does nothing other than making an already heartbreaking situation almost unbearable.
