Buying the horse you need rather than the horse you want

debsflo

debsflo

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I am currently looking for a new horse which is a bit of a nightmare. I am determined not to over horse myself and realistically need a nice sensible horse to hack round the countryside in all traffic and feel confident we will come home safely and do local level dressage up to novice level. The horses I like are all big warmblood and Irish draughts and at 52 and 5 foot 4 I suspect I'd be better off getting something around 15.2' do other people have this problem ie heart and head not agreeing. Not sure if I should just try a few and see if one just feels right. I am used to a warmblood build and feel more secure on a chunky horse although someone I know of is selling a 15'1 connemara who sounds lovely but looks tiny.please help as I am going round in circles.
 
I own a light weight 15.1 cob(Brought him ten years ago) and I am 5ft 4in.....and as he is deep barrelled I do not look big on him.....in fact as a similar age to you....I decided as I got older, I wanted something that I could get on easily.....and plus side is he is nice all-rounder and rides bigger than his 15.1.....think you should go and take a look at the Connie...no harm is there:)
 
Read this thread and the whole way through I thought "buy a Connemara"....read the last bit...go and see the Connemara 100%. Unless you're very heavy then 15.1 connie would be fine for you. I am 5ft4 and have just bought a 14.2 connie - I have legs up to my elbows and still look fine :)
 
I am in my 50s and 5'4". I have just bought a 14.2 and whilst I still love my 15.2 who is currently off work, I am totally loving dealing with a small horse. She can do everything the big chaps can, but everything is easy with her. I have not curtailed my ambitions in anyway, but realise I do not need the 17 h WB to live my dreams. Good luck. xx
 
My original wish list was for a small horse for the ease of getting on and off etc but for some reason when looking I'm drawn to the big horses even though my sensible head says no. Daughter will be sharing when home from uni and would prefer pony type. Just worried I will feel like I'm pony squishing...I'm about 9 stone...is that too much for a Connie type ? My current horse now retired is a big girl and I love that feeling of security and her buck neck and shoulders.
 
A lot of the irish drafts I've seen would have easier personalities than some connies would. A smallish draft mightn't be a bad call if it was a nice gentle character

edited after i read your last comment;

Connie would be perfect for daughter share and you def wouldn't squash. I was 10 stone on my 14.2 connie
 
debsflo said:
My original wish list was for a small horse for the ease of getting on and off etc but for some reason when looking I'm drawn to the big horses even though my sensible head says no. Daughter will be sharing when home from uni and would prefer pony type. Just worried I will feel like I'm pony squishing...I'm about 9 stone...is that too much for a Connie type ? My current horse now retired is a big girl and I love that feeling of security and her buck neck and shoulders.
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9 stone would be fine :)
 
Go for the horse you want. They have to be right for you on a level other than just the practical. I chose a cob suitable for myself and eventually my children to share. I don't regret my decision, she is absolutely the right choice for my family but I'm missing my old TB more than ever and the pangs for 'my own' horse increase daily.
 
All I can say is my 14.2 cob feels like a 16hh horse and makes my 15.2 Welsh feel narrow and small. I think once you have the right horse the enjoyment you get gets you past the it's not exactly what I wanted thing.

My 14.2 was meant to be 15.1 and actually has grown an inch since I bought her. I am 5ft8!
 
I sold pretty much exactly what you are looking for last year. A 15.2 WB. From a distance she looked like a big WB and had big shoulders and neck. Was a delight and I sold her to a older lady. There are smaller about. Connies are lovely, but I have know proper chunky ones and very fine so would depend on the pony
 
The time I let my head rule my heart was the best decision I ever made and don't think I'll ever find another to match him if I have another 100 horses (not with my bank balance lol). You still have to enjoy riding whatever horse you do buy so obv don't buy a horse that feels completely wrong just because the height and such is right but perhaps keep an open mind as to type?
 
Fjord horse? Highland? I wouldn't recommend buying a horse you don't like, regardless if it fulfils what you think you need or want. But if you feel that something a bit smaller than what you're used to, would now suit you and your daughter better, I think you should give a smaller horse a good chance of showing you how likeable they are.
 
There should be a compromise between the 2 somewhere. I know for my first horse I should have had a solid 8yo ish with a few miles on it and generally safe. Ideally bay- pretty and easy to clean. Heart said I had had those for years in riding schools and wanted to back my own. Ended up with a 3yo 15.2 buckskinpaloosa. Wouldn't trade the training experience for anything- heart knew what it wanted and head engaged just enough to pick something with relatively sensible temperament in the lines and a colour that would make sure she still had a market if I really couldn't make it work with her. Now though, I have no idea where people get the confidence to just take a horse on the road and see how it goes, so our schooling is coming on fine and we might get out to show this year. On balance I think the trade for not being able to hack any time soon was worth it, but I suspect going with your head can have some advantages too. Just make sure you love whatever you buy- no point in having a sensible horse you don't enjoy riding.
 
I just had this is reverse I went and saw a big Irish cob he was beautiful everything seemed good in my head but when I went on him there was somethingthat never clicked i think cause I'm used to t.b and lusitano I feel ridding was very bouncy when I left my heart said yes but my head said no now I'm picking up a lovely t.b tomorrow for my Xmas have generous o.h so I'mglad iI listened to my head I don't think it would of been good for me or the cob if I listened 2 my heart and bought him. U will find the perfect horse and when u do ur head and heart will b in. I can't sleep because I'm too excited 2 leave in morning 😁 lol
 
FinnishLapphund said:
Fjord horse? Highland? I wouldn't recommend buying a horse you don't like, regardless if it fulfils what you think you need or want. But if you feel that something a bit smaller than what you're used to, would now suit you and your daughter better, I think you should give a smaller horse a good chance of showing you how likeable they are.
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I ride a 13.2hh fjord for a friend, I am 5'8" and don't feel like I am pony squishing. I only notice how tiny she is when I ride alongside the horses, she feels much bigger than she is, I feel better sizewise on her than on another friend's 15.1hh lightweight cob. She is also a huge character and terrific fun! Don't write off a pony or small horse, at 5'4" you have so much choice.
 
I had a 15. 1 conni x tb, conni top, tb legs! I have photos of me on her and I look on different on her to what I did on my 16. 1 tb x wb. She was super smart looking to and was a one in a million. To be honest I in my Hart know I'll go back to a conni eventually. I currently have a 17. 1 3/4tb 1/4 Id who., over grew I didn't set out for a huge horse! I love him with all my Hart. Hes one of the big beautiful horses every one looks at. But he's tricky you can't relax on him. And as much as I'd never part with him if I could have my old conni x all over again I would. Bless her she was 33 when I lost her 7 years ago this month actually x
 
Nothing useful from me, I am pants at buying the horse I need rather than the one I want!

1st time I went out looking for a first horse, I was 15, so a nice Cob type, maybe around 10 years old, didn't need to be amazing at schooling, just a hack. Maybe around 15.2 - 16hh (I am 5ft 3 but I just can't cope with ponies!). I came back with a 14.2 just turned 4 year old Thoroughbred mare straight off the racetrack with an attitude to boot! (She did grow to about 15.3hh!)

2nd time I went out looking for a nice dressage schoolmaster, bigger budget, something sane that can teach me, working at Elementary to Medium would have suited me fine. Didn't need to be bombproof, just not dangerously spooky, the odd buck/nap didn't bother me as long as it wasn't anything physical, just a trying it on kind of thing. I wanted to compete and really focus on dressage, maybe compete/schooling/hacking, be able to ride in open fields in a sane manner in company etc.

Came back with a hot as nails Dutch Warmblood mare that had competed at novice, likes to do everything at speed and is scared of leaves, hyper sensative to the leg and has issues with you taking up a contact. (Suspect she had been schooled in draw reins with spurs) She is now a big pet. I love her to bits but I really wish I had bought a quieter horse, maybe a cob type that I can do more with. If I wanted to ride in an open field in company I suspect that nothing short of a barbed wire bit will stop her! She just bolts. I will never get another bolter! She's a gem on the ground though ;)
 
I am 5'4" and have a 15.1hh coloured horse - I call him a cob but he's not really. He takes up my leg really well. He's the perfect size for me - easy to do, cheap to feed and sturdy enough to b able to cope with all the hint get I do and the epic long rides which invariably involve lots of cantering, jumping things and being bombproof in traffic.
 
I wanted the big WB but ended up with a 15.1 Irish sports horse. Best thing I ever did. Happily hacks all over, alone or in company, happy to be out or in, cheap to keep, does well in his dressage and happily pops round a nick turner 1.10 SJ course. But most importantly can be left in the field for 3 weeks and then brought back into work with no issue. So easy (fun but low hassle). My previous Connie was not so straight forward!!
 
It's not about how big the horse is it's about how suited it is to the job you want it to do.

I am a confirmed happy hacker - I have 4 friesians (why we ended up with friesians is a whole other story!). I've had lots of comments that I could be doing so much more with them etc etc etc.

The fact of the matter is they they are nice looking (IMO) safe, steady and don't climb the walls or start decking riders if they aren't ridden every day. They have good enough movement to do dressage if I so wanted (but I don't) - they suit my needs. I probably wouldn't have them if I wanted to jump or seriously compete.

I may have to look at something smaller in a few years but that would only be if I was really struggling to get on mine (they are all around the 16h mark). I can still get on from the ground if I have to and while I can I will carry on :)
 
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I'm 5ft8 and my pony here is 14.3hh (still growing so hoping she'll edge over 15hh) she carries me easily so you will deffinitely be fine at 5ft4 and 9 stone :)
I originally wanted something over 16hh but fell in love with this little one enjoy your shopping!
 
I recommend buying what suits your lifestyle. That's what I did and it's always worked out for the best.

To start with they might not be everything you wanted in a riding horse but schooling can change that. Almost anything can compete well at novice level dressage, with the right training. Anything can be taught to hack alone without fuss and most solo hackers are also good in company, even if it means they need a stronger bit. I'd be thinking more about basic temperament on the ground, the facilities you have eg amount of turnout and quality of grazing, amount of riding you're likely to do and whether there will be big gaps eg over winter if you want a break from it, then buy something with the requirements to suit the time, facilities and lifestyle you have/want.

I've known quite a lot of TBx horses/ponies and they've all been great. With any beards and slight feather trimmed, the mane pulled and tail banged they've all looked very smart and have that bit of hardiness from the pony/cob element and the bigger movement from the TB element. Very good animals for the average rider who doesn't want to do anything too ambitious and doesn't want a hairy "overgrown thelwell" type.
 
What about a nice welsh D? Powerful with expressive paces but compact so more your size but with the flashyness you want! Very intelligent and trainable and lots do well in dressage. I think there is a lady on here who has a beautiful welsh cob dressage mare!

And the very successful North Forks Cardi (L)
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Don't get fixated on the height. I am over 50 and 5.5. I wanted a 16.2 max horse to event again. I have ended up with a 17.1 WB. Yes getting on can be entertaining, but with a bit of training, Big Ears and I can now negotiate all gates. He is one of the best horses on the yard for traffic and one of the easiest and nicest horses I have ever owned. I have had smaller and much sharper horses and yes, this one is a little big for me. However, I absolutely love riding on him, he always puts a smile on my face and he is lovely to look after. Had I been worried about his size, I would have missed out on a horse who really is going to be one of my "horses if a lifetime".
 
If I'd have bought the horse I needed rather than the one I wanted when I bought my current boy I'd be bored out of my skull by now.

Two horses I had in my past were both what other people told me I needed rather than what I wanted and much as I loved them they never really 'did it' for me. The two I chose myself are much sharper and much younger than people told me I should have got. The first was an unbroken chestnut arab x welsh D mare who I owned for the rest of her life and I had huge fun with her, she was sharp and used to buck like crazy but I never felt scared of her. My current boy is a connie cross and he too can be sharp and have the odd buck. Like my first horse I never feel scared or bored with him.

The two I bought with other people's advice were nice horses but I wasn't able to the stuff I wanted to do with either of them for various reasons.

Unless a horse terrifies you when you try it and you feel it's the one for you, go for it and have fun. If you feel happier on a larger horse that's what you should go for. You're the one who'll be riding it the most.

I learned that one should buy what they want and not what other's decide they should have (unless someone really does have unrealistic notions about their own abilities of course.) Over the years I've come across many people who've ended up with the wrong horse by following the advice of friends etc. On balance I have known those who have bought entirely the wrong horse too but that was usually because they were too impatient to wait for the right horse or were trying to go for horse that they thought would be a direct replacement for a previous horse they had.

Horses are a very personal thing, what seems perfect to one person can be someone else's worst nightmare.

Of course, it doesn't hurt to look at ones you might not necessarily consider. What you see in an ad doesn't really give the whole picture until you see it, handle it and ride it yourself.

Good luck :)
 
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