Calling it a day with competitions

[Booboos]

This is a bit long, so bare with me.

Freddy is now 14yo. I've had him since he was 5yo and he has always been difficult. He is not dangerous at all, but he is very reluctant to move forwards and can get completely stuck. Nothing had helped for years until recently he was diagnosed with EPSM. He's been on the diet and supplements for two years and has seen a massive improvement. He has put on muscle, is more forward going and a lot happier overall.

Getting to competitions is very difficult for me. There are very few around here (4 this year!), I have to sort out someone to look after the children and go on my own. Despite his improvement Freddy will still naps badly when I drop my stick. I have been working on this for years, at home I only pick up the stick when needed, then put it down and make sure he redoes the movement with impulsion and nonstick, but nonetheless competitions are still a problem.

This year he won his first two competitions and got placed in the third one, all of which allowed me to catty a stick. The fourth one was yesterday, a regional so no stick. I walked him in hand for 15 minutes, then 30 supplying work and he was lovely and forward, circled him where he could see the arena while the other horse was finishing, all perfect. Went to go in and he got stuck, then spent most of his test refusing to get out of walk. Came last with 52%.

Now I don't mind doing badly at shows, that's horses for you, but this was a monumental waste of my time. We got a 7 for a half pass where he agreed to trot, and the 1s and 2s for plodding around in walk. I don't know if the problem is physical or psychological, I would bet psychological as it is resolved by the stick but I am feeling rather depressed by it all. He is the same for both of my trainers, so it's not all down to my crap riding.

Should I give up and stick to Dressage Anywhere? Only compete when I can carry a stick (very limited classes here allow this)? It's too much money and effort to go out for a walk around the arena. Retiring him is not an option as his EPSM would probably get worse, he needs to be ridden as often as possible (I manage 5 times a week at the moment).

My trainer has seen a 6yo mare she thinks I would love, should I go try her? I don't want a young horse and she's supposed to be green. I want a schoolmaster PSG horse but can't afford that and probably won't be able to afford one for a while.

 

[spookypony]

Try the mare; maybe you'll fall in love...

It sounds to me like the stick is a crutch of sorts, whether for him or for you, I can't say! I understand totally how that feels. In our 80k last year, I rode the final 21k without a stick, and the pony was very very slow---but I'm not sure a stick would really have helped, either: he was bored and alone, and it's a bit of a miracle he actually did it all by himself at all! But it did get me to thinking if the stick was meant to help me or to help him (get moving). I wonder if there's something similar going on here? Can you get some outside eyes to tell you if you ride subtly differently when you're carrying a stick?

 

[gunnergundog]

What would make you happiest/give you the greatest pleasure? Life is short.

That is not being said glibly, but said by someone who has 'battled' with two horses, both of which ended up being shot, 15 years on and 5 years on from the original 'issue'. The stories are too long to go into here, but your post resonates with me as one of mine was great warming up with a stick but as soon as I went down the centre line and had dropped the stick it was like Mr Jekyll v Mr Hyde. I kept going as he still pulled out the double clears eventing though. With him it was initially (slightly) psychological, but then physical issues compounded the problem.

 

[Booboos]

I have never enjoyed riding him but that was OK when he was my second competition horse and my choice as I don't like selling my pets. Since his diagnosis I just feel guilty because he must have been in a lot of pain and it took me so long to find out what was wrong with him. I can't help thinking what kind of hoarse he would have been had he been diagnosed earlier on.

I rarely have to use the stick, and he tends to buck when I use it, but just carrying it makes a difference for me and for my two trainers. They both think he is a tricky horse to ride (one trainer is a very experienced, e.g. National champion, rides at GP, has represented France), and both need to pick up the sticks at time although both try to put it down when not needed to get him used to working without it, but this has been going on for years.

I don't think I want a young horse, too much energy, too unpredictable, they need a lot of time and patience. I would love a sensible PSG horse to teach me the movements without being a world beater and to give me a nice feeling of a horse that is willing to go forwards into a decent contact, but truly can't afford that now.

Maybe I am having a mid-life crisis as I am worried I don't have many more horses in my active riding future. I do enjoy progressing and Freddy seems stuck in more ways than one!

 

[gunnergundog]

Sounds like some hard decisions to be made.

Life is finite.

Guilt is horrendous but what's done is done.

You need to decide if you want a lawn mower to groom (which is what I did for 15 years) or if you want to move on with your riding and gain other/different/better fulfilment? (That is assuming that having a lawn mower precludes gaining the new one.)

Not a great position to be in. How confident are you of knowing all the facts pertaining to your problem horse? I thought I knew all about mine, but it turned out that whilst on full livery he was taken for a burn around the farm and turned over by the then 3* eventer who went on to compete at 4*. I was not told so when horse upgraded to intermediate and started stopping with me I was told that he wasn't genuine, that he needed a better rider than I, he needed a stronger rider than I blah blah blah. This message was relayed to me by a FBHS, another 4* eventer and various other nagsmen/dealers/local experts.

Trust your own instinct - I didn't have the confidence/knowledge at the time.

 

[Booboos]

I have one retired one already and a pony that's always been a companion. I have space to retire him but his condition is such that if not ridden he is expected to deteriorate badly. I know most of his history as he's spent almost all of his life with me but the EPMS is just a tricky condition which varies a lot from horse to horse.

I also have a friend's horse on loan. He's another character. He is full of energy to the point of hysterics on a daily basis. My gut feeling is that he is in pain somewhere but there is only so much you can say to someone else about their horse. I've been riding him for almost a year (as has the trainer) and he is nowhere near able to do a prelim, so that's another sob story!

Given that I have two horses in work, it would be silly to get a third. I was hoping to ride Freddy for a few more years until old age forced him into retirement by which point my finances might have improved enough to afford the PSG horse. But having two horses in work, neither of whom can compete is a bit depressing.