Can’t get over losing my dog

OlderNotWiser

OlderNotWiser

Well-Known Member
Joined
11 November 2018
Messages
229
Visit site
This summer we lost both our dogs so for the first time in my life (50+ years) I am dogless. The Daxi was 14 and lost the use of his back legs so I have accepted that he had a good life and we almost lost him last December so I feel we had a ‘bonus’ 8 months. My Doberman was only 5 and had a heart attack and died in my arms on a walk. We knew he had CardioMyopathy but I had expected him to show signs of illness and gradually deteriorate not just go like that. I just keep reliving that last walk and feeling that I should have been able to do something to save him. I’ve loved and lost many dogs over the years as we’ve always had more than one at a time but I just can’t get over this. I realise there is no magical cure but I can’t bring myself to talk about him as it upsets me too much so hoped that in expressing the hurt on the forum I might be able to accept it better as you lovely people so often have words of wisdom in these situations.
 
God, I’m so sorry, that’s pretty bloody horrific for you. I have no words of wisdom, except that you should let yourself grieve. In time, be it sooner or later, another dog will help to soothe the grief.

If you can’t talk about it (I understand, I lost one at 7 and recently, one at almost 16, I cry if I try to talk about them), then write on here. You’ll find people understand, empathise and it’s often cathartic to write about it.
 
I am so sorry you are going through this - grieving for our pets is always horrible but when we lose them far sooner than we could ever have expected I think it just makes it so much more distressing to accept and deal with.

Very similar happen to us about 6 years ago - we lost our much loved (young fit) collie almost the same way as you lost your younger dog - she just collapsed on a walk and we did rush her to our vets but she died within and hour of arriving there. and like you I have lost many dogs and other family pets over the years but never a young one so unexpectedly. It took myself and the rest of the family far longer to get over losing her and I still struggle now if I think too much about it - like should we have just kept her at home and let her die peaceful in our arms rather than put her through the trauma of rushing to the vets an hours drive away and then how distressed she became when we got there just to collapse and die despite all they tried to do to save her.. sorry I have waffled on a bit but just to say it does get better of course but they will always be the ones that stick mostly in our memory of sadness i think :(
 
only thing i can say is although it was horrible for you with your young one dying on a walk, how lovely for him that he didnt go downhill gradually but went doing what he enjoyed. you will still be in shock at such a sudden death for quite a long time . when i lost my lurcher i still had my other dog but after 5 months i was ready to welcome another dog but it had to be completely different, so she was a fawn and white lurcher and my new one is a very small black terrier with a completely different outlook on life...maybe you need to give a home to a rescue who is different to both of your others or perhaps even more different some guinea pigs or rabbits, you sound like you need something to look after and love....hugs xx
 
I lost my girl on Wednesday; a very sudden decline, and it's totally broken me. I have my 2.5yo terrier, and we're grieving together. I don't even want to imagine what you're going through. Life can be really shit sometimes.
The vet that came to our house to put my old girl down gave us some links to local therapists that could help with with pet bereavement. I saw one after my first horse died and it helped so much. I hope you find a way forwards x
 
MissTyc said:
I lost my girl on Wednesday; a very sudden decline, and it's totally broken me. I have my 2.5yo terrier, and we're grieving together. I don't even want to imagine what you're going through. Life can be really shit sometimes.
The vet that came to our house to put my old girl down gave us some links to local therapists that could help with with pet bereavement. I saw one after my first horse died and it helped so much. I hope you find a way forwards x
Click to expand...
so sorry misstyc, they leave such a big hole when they go, at least you can cuddle your terrier to comfort both of you. i think only time will heal enough for you to cope, it took 5 months before i could even think about another....
 
OlderNotWiser said:
This summer we lost both our dogs so for the first time in my life (50+ years) I am dogless. The Daxi was 14 and lost the use of his back legs so I have accepted that he had a good life and we almost lost him last December so I feel we had a ‘bonus’ 8 months. My Doberman was only 5 and had a heart attack and died in my arms on a walk. We knew he had CardioMyopathy but I had expected him to show signs of illness and gradually deteriorate not just go like that. I just keep reliving that last walk and feeling that I should have been able to do something to save him. I’ve loved and lost many dogs over the years as we’ve always had more than one at a time but I just can’t get over this. I realise there is no magical cure but I can’t bring myself to talk about him as it upsets me too much so hoped that in expressing the hurt on the forum I might be able to accept it better as you lovely people so often have
words of wisdom in these situations.
Click to expand...

I am so sorry that you lost your dogs, the Dobie must have been a dreadful shock.


It is the sudden-ness and the young age that makes it worse, we lost our 6 yr old Rottweiler about a month ago, very suddenly. All you can do is concentrate on the good life that you gave them, even though you would have loved to be able to do that for longer.
 
MissTyc said:
I lost my girl on Wednesday; a very sudden decline, and it's totally broken me. I have my 2.5yo terrier, and we're grieving together. I don't even want to imagine what you're going through. Life can be really shit sometimes.
The vet that came to our house to put my old girl down gave us some links to local therapists that could help with with pet bereavement. I saw one after my first horse died and it helped so much. I hope you find a way forwards x
Click to expand...

So sorry about your girl. I think a therapist may be the way forward as it’s been a tough year even before this. Glad to hear you found it helpful.
 
Last edited:
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We lost our beloved Spot, on 15th May, I cried so many tears, I thought I would never be able to think about her, let alone talk about her, without breaking down, but time has proved to be a great healer, and although I still cry regularly and haven't yet parted with her ashes, I am feeling more settled with the decision we made. Please be kind to yourself, allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve, everyone does it in a different way, there is no wrong way. I found this forum a tremendous support at the time, and still do, there are kindred spirits here and no one here will judge your emotions over the loss of a dearly loved pet. I am sure I would not have coped as well, had I not had the support of complete strangers on this forum, I found it easier to pour out my feelings to strangers than to my nearest and dearest. No one judged me and people said kinds things. We'd love to hear more about your dogs, so when you are feeling stronger tell us about them 🐾😍
 
I’m so sorry for the heartbreaking time you’ve had. I’ve been through similar myself just recently.

Losing a young dog unexpectedly is harder to deal with, as we feel robbed of the extra years we should have shared. Life is cruel 😢. Try to remember all the great times your dogs had. A good life should be measured in quality and not quantity. X
 
Grief is painful and consuming. Time lessens the pain but not the love you felt and received. The only way to protect yourself from such sorrow, is to never have a pet, but what sort of half life is that ?
I'm so sorry you're going through this and every person experiences grief uniquely but the piercing rawness of it all will diminish, but their place in your heart, will not.
 
So sorry to hear this, my staffy died a few years back at the time we had two staffys and a border terrier, sam died, he lost the use of his back end , they did everything to save him 😢 so then i was left with a staffy bitch and the border and it just wasnt the same without him, we went to the pound just to look and came home with a two year old staffy that adored my kids, he had been mistreated and was just the most loving dog ever. He is called harry but i still call him sam! I think its a huge part of your life thts missing and you could never replace them but the love a dog gives you helps. In saying that the wee border passed away in january, just had her dinner and i went to run myself a bath and she had a heart attck on the floor came down to her already away 😥 she was 13 so i feel had a great wee life , i couldnt live without a dog
 
My very first springer (Boston) died on a walk - it's horrendous isn't it. It's a very long time ago now for me but I can remember it like it was yesterday, just like I remember all my dogs.

Grief does get easier and there's no right or wrong way to go through it. What you can't do though is focus on any guilt or 'what if's'. Yes, your Dobe was young but would you have referred to wrap him up in cotton wool and not have a life, just so you had an extra few months? Nope, I'm sure you wouldn't. He died, doing what dogs do best - having a sniff and a mooch and that's not a bad way to go :)

This is in no way disrespectful to your situation but I can actually laugh about the way Boston went now. He always was a drama queen (show bred springer you know) so it suited him to go like he did. I had to make a very quick decision who out of the other three dogs I could trust off lead to walk home sensibly, while I carried him. We weren't far from home but I was exhausted by the time I got there.

Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve.
 
Im so so sorry for your losses.

We have always had collies and we knew that having a few of a similar age would lead to a hard time later on.... i lost 2 of my older dogs at the same time , one with kidney failure and the other a failing heart. That was 5 years ago and it still rips me apart to think of it but they went, peacefully, together. Then last year we lost our other older bitch aged 11 and then had to PTS our beloved 14 year old boy just before Chistmas as he too lost the use of his back legs. As a family, we were utterly bereft and it's something we will never get over. The final wrench was having to pts my young dog earlier this year due to something completely unexpected. For the first time in 20 years this has left our home without a collie in it and it hurts. It hurts a lot. My husband has said he can never have another collie again but my son was so devastated we ended up with a sprocker puppy for him - fast forward and i now have a 7 month old wcs and a 3 month old ess !! I realise we will face the same trauma again but hopefully not for a very long time and having the house full again feels more like home. Plus, they are SO different we've found we still have lots of love to give and Im loving having young dogs to train again.
Take time and do whatever feels right for you as time passes.
 
I still cry when I see someone with gordon setters having had 5 over the years. I have a 14/15 year old dog and am dreading losing him.
You have only recently lost both yours and must have been a big shock with the younger one. Everyone is different but I have always found after a few weeks I couldnt bear an empty house and finding another rescue dog and all the work and patience and input that required did lessen the grief.
 
So sorry to hear about your loss, what an awful year you've had. Reliving your younger dog's last walk is a common reaction to trauma.
After one of our jrts died I missed him so much I was genuinely scared I might end up stealing or kidnapping one just to have another dog. They're such a loss to us.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top