Can’t do it anymore!

[canteron]

Does anyone else feel some days they just can’t do horses anymore? I have had one or two setbacks in other life and it has completely destroyed my confidence with my 2 lovely horses. I feel as if I don’t know what I am doing, can’t focus, can’t plan and don’t deserve them and should maybe just give it all up?
I am sure it will pass but am I the only one who gets totally despondent time to time?

 

[poiuytrewq]

Does anyone else feel some days they just can’t do horses anymore? I have had one or two setbacks in other life and it has completely destroyed my confidence with my 2 lovely horses. I feel as if I don’t know what I am doing, can’t focus, can’t plan and don’t deserve them and should maybe just give it all up?
I am sure it will pass but am I the only one who gets totally despondent time to time?

No, I’ve done it recently. The weather, life, work then it just became an extra that didn’t fit into my week any more. I decided this week to force it and see how I felt when riding was more “routine” I felt better after day one.
maybe tell yourself it’s only for x amount of time, force yourself and see how you feel after?

 

[Roxylola]

You're not alone. Between mid December and mid February all the things I do because I love them are a chore, walking the dogs, riding, horse care the lot. I could give it all up in a heartbeat not least because I get in my own head that what I'm doing is not enough and that theyd be better off with someone else.
It does pass but you're not alone at all

 

[FlyingCircus]

Both mine are currently lame after a crap winter of them being sound but me too busy at work to ride, meaning I have mostly just done jobs.

So yep, I know those feels!

 

[Quigleyandme]

I’m not the least bit surprised you feel rubbish. Dec/Jan/Feb are so dark and wet and grim and we can‘t even look forward to a show, clinic or pleasure ride. My son sent me a couple of videos of him riding his charger at a fun ODE at his barracks today and I could have wept with envy and frustration.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

You are absolutely not alone. I struggle in winter. Usually I am planning/working towards the season ahead which is inspiring but right now that's a long way off for me and Toby. And I miss riding Amber so, so much and keep thinking why am I still doing it with a horse who isn't really right for me. But I know that come Spring and warmer weather it will all be ok again. And if not then selling up is always an option. I just dont think making that decision when 'Life' is crappy s the right time. My mantra is 'one foot in front of he other' as in I just swicth off my brain and start moving and begin to do what I have planned. And once I am actuallly doing it i feel better.It's being sat at home staring out and the rain and thinking 'I just can't be arsed' that is the worst bit.

 

[Follysmum]

I have totally had enough tbh. First I had my bad fall which has stopped me riding ever again then we sold our small farm and are currently in renting until we find somewhere else. The land is clay and it’s horrendous. I really could just jack it in and move to Spain

 

[PurBee]

Shoite weather and shoite land make horse ownership challenging. I feel like it every winter...and some crappy, wet summers too!
you’re not alone.

 

[cauda equina]

I'm so sorry you feel defeated
The weather has been particularly cruel this week; the bone-freezing cold makes everything more difficult
Can you abandon riding until things warm up then start again in tiny ways? possibly just a sit on, to start with, if that's as much as you want to do
Have you got a good instructor? Having the right help made all the difference to me. Good luck xx

 

[vmac66]

I feel the same. Have days, when I think why do I bother. I rode for a, whole ten minutes, yesterday, even when I was, on I didn't really want to ride. Spring and warmer weather are on the way. Hopefully we're through the worst of winter.

 

[scats]

I think this time of year can be hard because it’s the end of winter and we are all more shattered than normal.
I tend to have my tough time in November and December, which I think is mostly linked to the dark.
Can you take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy your horses? Don’t think about what you should be doing and just ride when you feel like it and not when you don’t. You might find that your confidence and enjoyment starts to come back once you take a step back.

 

[spotty_pony]

Yes I know how you feel. Lost my beautiful boy just over two weeks ago and still suffering with the loss of that. I now have two oldies, one who is 29 and retired and my 21 year old Appy who decided to mess about in the field and go lame a week ago. Mustering the courage to trot him up today to see if he is now ok. I just can't be doing with any more heartbreak. I love my horses dearly, but it is depressing seeing everybody on facebook and instagram enjoying their riding and looking forward to competing and knowing it's something I can't do. I will get another horse one day but finances wouldn't allow me to at the moment. I do have a horse to ride but it's not the same. rant over.

OP - just think we are nearly in spring. Try and get in a routine and that will help. I'd give my right arm to have two healthy horses I could ride again.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Rollercoaster comes to mind. Mine is really sore on front this morning, he was trimmed on Tuesday so I’m hoping that’s the issue. I know he’s on borrowed time, but he’s been sound and fine for ages.

 

[Dia]

Does anyone else feel some days they just can’t do horses anymore? I have had one or two setbacks in other life and it has completely destroyed my confidence with my 2 lovely horses. I feel as if I don’t know what I am doing, can’t focus, can’t plan and don’t deserve them and should maybe just give it all up?
I am sure it will pass but am I the only one who gets totally despondent time to time?

I burnt out and gave up after one of mine died and I had a lot going on at work. Now bought a new one and on full livery and very happy, and glad I had the break.

 

[Cortez]

I have totally had enough tbh. First I had my bad fall which has stopped me riding ever again then we sold our small farm and are currently in renting until we find somewhere else. The land is clay and it’s horrendous. I really could just jack it in and move to Spain

....which is precisely what I'm going to do just as soon as I can get a vaccination (well, 2) and then on a ferry to Spain. After nearly 60 years I am done and will be leaving behind a long, hard life of slogging through all the highs and lows of working with horses. Can't wait!

 

[Abby-Lou]

After the last week of snow and icy conditions I felt like I was surviving, but as soon as the better weather arrived I have started enjoying doing more jobs. Feel happier when its a little bit warmer, my body doesn't ache as much I am sure my tennis elbow flares up in cold conditions

 

[SantaVera]

another one here who feeld like chucking it all at the moment :-(

 

[Follysmum]

....which is precisely what I'm going to do just as soon as I can get a vaccination (well, 2) and then on a ferry to Spain. After nearly 60 years I am done and will be leaving behind a long, hard life of slogging through all the highs and lows of working with horses. Can't wait!

Sounds wonderful
Hope you have a lovely time relaxing in the sun.

 

[Cortez]

Sounds wonderful
Hope you have a lovely time relaxing in the sun.

If only I could get there! My plans have had to be on hold for almost exactly one year now. To say I am ready is a massive understatement.

 

[Griffin]

I sometimes feel like that when it is cold and wet. This morning I really didn't have much time to be at the yard but ended up there for hours because I was trying to get hay into the fields and break the ice (plus the dog stole my extra socks out of my wellies and tried to bury them while I was riding). I could have quite easily given up there and then.

However, I know that once the fields dry out again and I have a bit more time (hopefully in a week or two), I will feel completely different.

 

[Red-1]

Does anyone else feel some days they just can’t do horses anymore? I have had one or two setbacks in other life and it has completely destroyed my confidence with my 2 lovely horses. I feel as if I don’t know what I am doing, can’t focus, can’t plan and don’t deserve them and should maybe just give it all up?
I am sure it will pass but am I the only one who gets totally despondent time to time?

Yes! I bought a broken old cob. No expectations, just a friendly, furry face to love. It has made me smile so much. I don't miss my last posh one at all.

 

[L&M]

Totally get you - I hit a wall every year around jan/Feb time, and have even advertised my horse a couple of times at this time of year - but as soon as someone responds, I realise what I would lose (my little chap is my 'horse of a lifetime'), and can't go through with it.

This winter has been even harder as none of us have even been able to enjoy shows or clinics too help keep the motivation going, so everything just becomes a pointless chore and pita. The horses also get fed up as most of the grass is gone and they are bored of being in, coupled with the weather making everything doubly hard.

However spring is poking its head around the corner - I managed to harrow and roll a couple of the worst paddocks today and they look so much better for it. I also noticed that both our two are leaving their hay so some grass must be starting to come through, and the sun is out in mid wales today!

We have also booked our first fun ride at the end of April, so just praying it can go ahead as something too look forward too.

However one day I will advertise that horse and I will sell it, as there are only so many winters a person can endure (37 yrs and counting!), and so sick of checking the forecast daily and trying to decide what is the best thing to do.........I am increasingly envious of people who can stay inside in the worst of the weather, and actually have money to spend on themselves each month!

Good luck with any decisions you make x

 

[PSD]

Yep not alone. I’ve come very close to selling up this winter, highly strung 2 year old and felt totally out of my depth with her. Miss my other one who I lost last year so much, miss riding, miss just having something to look forward to.

but the lighter nights are coming, the warmer days are coming and I’m feeling better. Stick it out, we’ve all had such a rubbish year I’m not surprised we’re all feeling the same. But better days are coming

 

[windand rain]

I hate winter but the ponies keep me alive so no I wouldn't/couldn't be without them. I adore Kitten and would not want to be without her but we buy foals to show as youngstock and we have lost almost two years of showing which is frustrating

 

[cornish1]

Me too - have perservered with my mare for 6 years since she was a newly broken youngster, she's got sharper and cleverer, bigger and stronger. She's okay when in harder work in the summer but difficult in late winter and spring. Just moved yards with her and my older horse and she has been a nightmare, coupled with snow, ice, rain and prolonged wind its been an awful few months. Beating myself up about considering selling her, but I just don't want the fights any more. Life is too short.

 

[exracehorse]

Yep. Been the worst winter ever. I have five. Two broken. One youngster. Two ridden. Last week it was super mild. Rode for first time in 6 weeks. My horse was pretty wired. But I was smiling. This week it’s been bitterly cold again. Mojo gone. Just spent a fortune on more hay. And I could happily give it all up.

 

[EmmaC78]

Another in the "I could give it all up" gang. I have one that was injured last July and is only just coming sound. I am now trying to bring him back to ridden work starting with some long reining and he is behaving like a lunatic. Definitely had one of those "why am I bothering" mornings earlier.

 

[tiga71]

Yep. I just feel shattered and have lost my mojo again after finding it briefly when the weather was nice last week. I usually go home to Australia for a month at Christmas and have really missed seeing my family and the warm weather break. I think not having any clinics or outings to enjoy has made the winter seem even more depressing. I can't complain as I have 2 lovely horses to ride and one project horse who is coming on well, but it all seems a chore at the moment.

I can't wait for 29th March when we can (hopefully) get out with our riding friends and have some fun.

 

[SantaVera]

Me too - have perservered with my mare for 6 years since she was a newly broken youngster, she's got sharper and cleverer, bigger and stronger. She's okay when in harder work in the summer but difficult in late winter and spring. Just moved yards with her and my older horse and she has been a nightmare, coupled with snow, ice, rain and prolonged wind its been an awful few months. Beating myself up about considering selling her, but I just don't want the fights any more. Life is too short.

I have recewntly sold one of mine on, the lively one shed a few tears but now am so glad i did. super home and its right for him.
like you say, lifes too short, horses are supposed to be fun not a headache.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

OP I know exactly what you feel like. I've ad this feeling for a while now. I have three horses, they are all show jumpers but with the training we've given them they've all been in the ribbons for various dressage tests. Three years ago ! woke up in the early hours of the morning and had virtually lost the ability to swallow. I lay in bed until 7.00am when I got up & went to the stables to turnout muck out my horses. I finished at the stables & on the way home I wasn't feeling too well so I called in at my doctors. She gave me some tests, left the room, came back & said how did you get here. I said I drove. She asked if I'd got anyone at home I said yes & was told to phone her to bring a bag to the surgery & then to drive me to hospital & the hospital was waiting for me. She then told me that she believed I'd had a stroke. I went to the hospital, was admitted & was their for a fortnight. I came out, still with issues with swallowing, my left leg, arm & left side of my body felt strange & always felt hot. I had to be careful when running hot water because I couldn't tell how hot it was with my left and & could easily scald myself. It was a scary time. For over 3 years now I've struggled, it's hard to look after 3 horses when your body doesn't work as it should. I've just kept quiet and carried on mucking out, turning out, bringing in, feeding etc. My wife & daughter do the riding, they also do mucking out etc & seem to have forgotten my stroke & that I'm all right now. In reality I'm only marginally better that I was 3 years ago. We have limited time slots to do the horses due to Covid restrictions & that's made things even harder. If I didn't wake up in the morning I wouldn't care, just totally drained & fed up.