everyone has been fantastic, a local photographer took a picture of us jumping in 2009 at a local hunt, it was the best day we ever shared, unfortunately I lost the copy I purchased, he has gone through his records and found it for me, the drive to the yard was so painful this morning and I am thankful that I could swoop straight in and bury my head in Ben, not quite as gentle or sensitive as my girlie but my god I needed it, just something to hold and wrap my arms around and the feel of the mane running through my fingers, having Ben to cling to is a blessing and this tragedy is making my love and bond with him strengthen x I popped him out into the paddock after the other horses had gone, they are exhibits at a farm open day today. I decided that it would be best to pop him in here so he could understand that it was just the normal school/grazing paddock and nothing bad will happen, I could also keep a better eye on him, he started by nervous eating then got more and more high energy, I didn't mind as I thought a bit of a burn off would do him good, until he ran for the 4 foot wall and banked it up into the car park, luckily he didn't go for the gate to run off and find the others, but ran straight up to me, begging to go in his stable where he feels safe and calm, god love him he is lying down in there now , I'm off to get some calmer for the days ahead to take the edge off as best I can and I haven't rules out a companion for him, but don't know if I have the energy at the moment to focus on any more than one. On my feed bin this morning was a copy of the picture of ebony and I in the stable, another livery had had it done yesterday for me, I'm so touched by the support. I actually didn't cry half as much as I though I would last night and I couldn't stomach more than 2 glasses of wine, I was awake till 3, shattered but acutely lonely. I can't face the tack room, but I'm really happy I made the decision to Pop him in her stable, I was scared to death of seeing it empty, this feels right and I can clean his out and get the roof fixed. All in all a better day than I could have hoped for. What hurts a lot is that there seem so many people who are going through similar at the moment with their horses, or maybe it's just that this has made me more aware. I really hope they have a favourable outcome and don't have to go through what I have x RIP Ebony
you are a very strong lady, you tried your utmost and Ebony was a very lucky horsey!!! Xxx
sending huge hugs and you have been amazingly brave. x x x x
