'Can I cuddle your horse..?'

[Sugarplum Furry]

Argh. Aaarrrgh!!!!! There's a dopey woman who's taken over my one day a week at the local charity shop (bear with me, this is a horsey rant) because I can't do the shift any more due to having to much to do at the yard. So dopey woman, having got wind of me having horses, has asked if she can come to the yard to give my horses a cuddle. Well, no, is the answer to that. It was a polite no, I explained, several times, that apart from the horses are living out, are covered in mud, I've one extremely poorly at the moment and is quite likely to be PTS, I don't want to be responsible for her safety at the yard, the fact is they don't LIKE cuddles. They aren't cuddly. They are horses, not fluffy kittens.

OMG she is SO persistent. She's a dog whisperer (she says), and she's galloped arab horses all round Africa (poor things). The answer is still no. She's now taken to ambushing me every time I walk past the charity shop, I live next door to it so can't be avoided. Yesterday she leapt out of the doorway waving a pair of wellies, and when the answer was no yet again, she did this pathetic pleading thing, little paws under her chin and fluttering her eyelashes like Puss in Boots from Shrek. Not cute, funny or clever, she's a grown woman FFS and, riders, I was sorely tempted to batter her to a pulp with her own wellies. When she's not being Puss in Boots she's generally very bouncy and squeaky and honestly not the sort of person I want around my horses. Ever. Ever ever ever.

Thanks, just needed to get that off my chest.

 

[fburton]

Is there a local RDA where she can go for cuddles? It does sound as though she is lacking something emotionally, poor thing!

 

[FfionWinnie]

How bizarre. Folk always want to cuddle my mare when I am out hacking and I say go ahead if you want to die. She is not tolerant at all lol

 

[Shantara]

I encourage people to give Neddy a cuddle, he enjoys it**...but I wouldn't want that lady coming to the yard, let alone near Ned :O I find it very hard to deal with people like that.

No advice, just wanted to say poor you! She sounds annoying.


**not when I'm riding though, for some reason all desire for a hug goes out the window.

 

[cremedemonthe]

Perhaps it's an attention seeking thing, try changing the subject every time she starts,totally ignore her pleas. I would have thought eventually the penny will drop, NO MEANS NO.
Personally I think you are being too polite and I for one certainly wouldn't have the patience!
Oz

 

[056775]

Oh my god I just laughed out out at my desk reading this - I esp like the paws under her chin

I think you have been nice enough and now is the time to say - 'I'm sorry I've explained the reasons why I do not want you around the horses and would appreciate you not asking again because you are totally over bearing'

(however - a sly photo of the said begging maneuver would bring joy to me!)

 

[Montyforever]

But how can you resist the power of the puss in boots stare?!

Honestly, if someone asked to cuddle my welsh I'd say .. "the front end bites, the back end kicks and you can get both at the same time in the middle .. So no"

 

[Rowreach]

Sorry but LOL!!

Son and I took two very bouncy horses for a hack the other day, and having nearly both been deposited in the ford we were suddenly set upon by a man in an outsized hiviz jacket who advanced on my horse with outstretched arms crying "Will it mind if I pat it???" Fortunately she was stunned into immobility - gawd knows what son's horse would have done

I think you'll have to wear a disguise every time you leave your house OP

 

[smellsofhorse]

How annoying!

I feel for you.
Just keep saying not and hopefully had will give up.

Or put her untouched with a charity or yard where she can cuddle their horses!

 

[FfionWinnie]

I think you'll have to wear a disguise every time you leave your house OP

But don't be tempted to disguise yourself as a horse for obvious reasons rotflmao

 

[Rowreach]

But don't be tempted to disguise yourself as a horse for obvious reasons rotflmao

pmsl

Why don't you get her one of those horse-head-on-stick things that whinnies??

 

[tessybear]

Just tell her they are all bite ;-) and have asbos for tearing chunks out of people and therefor you wouldn't want her the poor little thing to get hurt

 

[Hen]

Lol send her to me, I have one horse that insists on cuddles and clearly has a future career set out in a petting zoo. Your lady will be pressed into Extreme Pony Cuddling duty, which will be required to go on for HOURS and HOURS. Pony will probably take her knee caps off if she STOPS cuddling her. She'll be so exhausted from the experience she will be cured of all desire to cuddle horses.

 

[Scarlett]

I'm sorry but this has just cheered up my entire week

I think you should just beat her to a pulp with her wellies, no court in the land will convict you when you explain about the Puss n Boots face...

 

[Bikerchickone]

This has definitely just made me laugh, sorry OP! Next time she asks I suggest you happily accept saying I'm so glad you want to come and clear the field of poo with me, I'm sure it'll only take a day or two and so long as you've got waders to get in through the gateway we'll be fine!

Alternatively suggest just saying very firmly "No!" with no explanations at all

Good luck, but I too would love to see a pic of the begging manoeuvre!

 

[Littlelegs]

Just tell her she's welcome to come & do cuddles. But at the moment you can't find all the muzzles, & after what happened last time you are legally obliged to use them.
Seriously, when I saw the thread title I assumed it would be about a pony mad child, not adult woman.

 

[_GG_]

How hilarious.

If she is a dog whisperer, tell her that you are sure then that she will understand that it is not about her wants and needs, but the horses wants and needs and they want and need to be horses, not people.

I agree that she is needing something and love the suggestion of putting her in touch with local rda.

 

[PandorasJar]

hahahahaha.

Just completely blank the woman. I find looking right through people and completely pretending they aren't there gets rid fairly fast

Or I could loan you this delightful beast for one afternoon....

 

[Patterdale]

My goodness what a lot of mean people on here!

The poor womanis obviously lacking something emotionally. Would it kill you to give up a bit of your time so she can come and pat your horse and give it a carrot??

Some people make me absolutely sick. We are SO lucky to have horses. Is it such a big ask to just share the good fortune a bit?

Unless your horse is in the minuscule minority that will actually kill anyone who approaches I really cannot see the problem with someone non horsy just spending a bit of time with them. Imagine how happy it would make her.


God forbid you ever need a bit of kindness and compassion shown.

 

[Hippona]

My goodness what a lot of mean people on here!

The poor womanis obviously lacking something emotionally. Would it kill you to give up a bit of your time so she can come and pat your horse and give it a carrot??

Some people make me absolutely sick. We are SO lucky to have horses. Is it such a big ask to just share the good fortune a bit?

Unless your horse is in the minuscule minority that will actually kill anyone who approaches I really cannot see the problem with someone non horsy just spending a bit of time with them. Imagine how happy it would make her.


God forbid you ever need a bit of kindness and compassion shown.

Well yes....but then you're lumbered with the mad beatch for all eternity....doesn't sound like once would be enough....

 

[PandorasJar]

My goodness what a lot of mean people on here!

The poor womanis obviously lacking something emotionally. Would it kill you to give up a bit of your time so she can come and pat your horse and give it a carrot??

Some people make me absolutely sick. We are SO lucky to have horses. Is it such a big ask to just share the good fortune a bit?

Unless your horse is in the minuscule minority that will actually kill anyone who approaches I really cannot see the problem with someone non horsy just spending a bit of time with them. Imagine how happy it would make her.


God forbid you ever need a bit of kindness and compassion shown.

I'm sorry but not a chance in hell. Most I wouldn't mind, but someone who turns up with wellies after being told no? Not a chance as you'd never then get rid.
We aren't lucky. We saved up and spend half our life working with them, they didn't get handed out on a plate. There are riding schools and petting farms with horses on to be cuddled. I work my butt off for mine so they are not a free for all for every nutter out there.

 

[Clava]

My goodness what a lot of mean people on here!

The poor womanis obviously lacking something emotionally. Would it kill you to give up a bit of your time so she can come and pat your horse and give it a carrot??

Some people make me absolutely sick. We are SO lucky to have horses. Is it such a big ask to just share the good fortune a bit?

Unless your horse is in the minuscule minority that will actually kill anyone who approaches I really cannot see the problem with someone non horsy just spending a bit of time with them. Imagine how happy it would make her.


God forbid you ever need a bit of kindness and compassion shown.

My thoughts too.

 

[_GG_]

Ordinarily, I would agree with you, but the OP has stated that her horses have health issues so bringing in someone likely to stress them out if she is so squeaky and high strung would not be in the horses best interest.

I have a friend who I will not let near my mare because she point blank refuses to be responsible. She squeals or even screams at even the tiniest movement and my mare and other horses on the yard become very unsettled, squirting anxiety PLoS and stable walking.

I think the OP is being very responsible.

 

[Hippona]

I'm sorry but not a chance in hell. Most I wouldn't mind, but someone who turns up with wellies after being told no? Not a chance as you'd never then get rid.
We aren't lucky. We saved up and spend half our life working with them, they didn't get handed out on a plate. There are riding schools and petting farms with horses on to be cuddled. I work my butt off for mine so they are not a free for all for every nutter out there.

Thanks. You said it so I don't have to.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Well yes....but then you're lumbered with the mad beatch for all eternity....doesn't sound like once would be enough....

This. Cruel to be kind and OP said one horse is really sick.

Have a serious word, tell her how upsetting you find her persistence, tell her no (again) and stop her if she starts on again.

I fail to see why anyone should give in to persistence: it's not a petting zoo.

 

[Patterdale]

Well I stick by my thoughts.
Anyone is welcome to come and spend time with my horses while I'm there, particularly if they seem to get a slightly raw deal from life in other areas.
My horses and I seem to have survived it so far!

 

[peanut]

A "no" from me too as she doesn't sound to be the sort of person to make it a one off visit.

I'd suggest she visits a rehoming centre for dogs - most genuinely loved to be cuddled.

 

[tessybear]

Personally i dont have the time to let people maul with her, neighbours kids sometimes give her a carrot and cuddle when im not there, but when i'm with my horse i want to spend as much time as possible not explaining everything i do to a non horsey person.

 

[Caol Ila]

I agree that we are all very lucky to have horses and I am normally happy to bring friends to the yard and let them meet the horse. But it does not sound as if the OP knows this woman very well and to be fair, would you bring an acquaintance who seemed more batsh***t crazy than not (an adult doing the "Puss in Boots" stare? Really???) to your yard. I wouldn't. That would freak me out and I certainly wouldn't want someone at the yard who was squeaky and high strung and who had already proven that they were disinclined to listen to me. It sounds as if this woman does not have a good understanding of boundaries, and that is not the sort of liability or responsibility I want to deal with when I'm working with 1200lbs of powerful flight animal. I only bring people who seem more or less sensible and who will listen to me -- simply so they can stay safe around the horse. After all, I'm not running a one-horse/one-woman equine assisted therapy program out of my livery yard and I doubt the OP is, either. One should not feel obligated to do so, simply because they own a horse and someone else may have emotional issues which the horse may or may not help.

There are plenty of sane ways to ask a horse person if you can meet their horses. "I would really love to meet your horse some day" often suffices.

 

[Hippona]

I have invited people to see my horses....

normal ones.....who I like spending time with anyway......just so you know I'm not totally evil.....