Can I have a hug please

Fools Motto

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Get to work this morning. Boss in a VERY bad mood. Tells me off for mucking out badly when I was last in - friday. I knew on Friday I did such a muck out that I even lifted the rubber mats and cleaned out from under them - so she would perhaps be grateful for it over the w/end when I knew she was on her own. So, she Proceeds to tell me how to do it, then says she will have to give me a lesson in doing so. Now, this is a huge insult for me. I pride myself on my job, and know how to muck out stables! Been doing so for years, and apart from this, not one person has said that I suck at it! I'm usually the one who offers others tips on doing a good job. So, anyway, I tell her I'm deeply offended and don't agree with 'my badness'. She then lets rip at me for 'speaking my mind', and I tell her if she wasn't happy with it, she should have told me so on friday, and perhaps asked me to go in early on Sat to rectify the problem.
Then of course, as usual I get upset (which for some reason I have a huge issue with - I simply can't control my emotions.) And low and behold I continue to get lectures about keeping my emotions and feelings to myself, which I would love to be able to do!!
Ended up saying if she didn't approve of me on these 'petty' grounds, then perhaps I should leave. She told me that no one has ever spoken to her like that, and I'm treading on egg shells.... which by this point I knew I was.

I carried on with my work, and didn't see her after this. Now feeling pretty rubbish about it all TBH...
Any hugs going?
 

Dizzydancer

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Hugs.
Has something maybe happened over weekend in your bosses life and your just getting the flack? Sounds a bit out of the blue i think and if its not and its normal i would be looking elsewhere for a job.
 

Christsam

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aww hugs. I had this sort of thing from my old YO. "lessons" in how to muck my horse out and then moaned at for speaking my mind. When its your job its even worse though. Go get some horsey hugs (if youre allowed!) too :)
 

mandwhy

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Aww big hugs for you! She got out of bed on the wrong side evidently. I am sure you are quite capable and don't worry I would have had the dastardly emotions spilling out too!
 

HaffiesRock

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Massive hugs from me.

My old boss could be a complete b*tch when she wanted to be so have had more than my fair share of bashings in the past (which most of them I cried about)

Just smile and get on with things,. When you see her next, smile sweetly and ask her to check out your mucking out. xx
 

putasocinit

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Find another job and tell her to sling her hook, i hate bosses who are so rude they feel they can speak down to their staff, when they know full well they cannot defend themselves.

A true gentleman and lady can be seen by the way they treat their subordinates.
 

guido16

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I am a boss, of about 30 men. I have one rule and one rule only.
NEVER shout. Your staff stop listening and you look like an idiot. Your boss was out of order talking to you like that.

Always speak to people the way you want to be spoken to. Oh crap, that's another rule I have. Ok, two rules. Anyway. She owes you an apology. End of.
 

Goldenstar

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But a boss has the right to say please don't do that like or even don't do that like that I will show how I want it done and you as the employee has to say ok I'll do it your way because that's what you are paying me to to do.
There should not be anything emotional about this and as for saying she should have told you on Friday perhaps she was busy and it did not suit her to do so she is paying you and she can set the rules.
I employ experianced people and have things that I like no I will say require to be done my way I do not negotiate these things I show what I like explain why and correct every time I see it done another way.
You say you are over senestive and I understand you feel bad at the moment , your boss should not have shouted at you but she has the right to show you how to muck out if she wishes to and to chose when she raises the issue with you.
Good luck I hope you can sort out your relationship with her and don't leave a job that suits you over one bad day.
 

apkelly01

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Never mind a hug, you need a high 5 for standing up to her! Sounds like nobody stands up to her, fair play and I'm very proud. Don't be intimidated by people like her, they like the sound of their own voice. Just keep doing what your doing, if you are happy with your work then screw her. Sounds like she's having a bad day and wanted to take it out on someone, maybe after standing up to her she won't pick you in future. I'm a huge believer in Karma btw ;)

Here's a vitual hug anyway :)
 

BillyBob-Sleigh

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I probably would have told her to stick her job in the heat of the moment :eek: - but have some giant hugs, box of choccies, a few glass of wine and go in tomorrow with a smile on your face and rise above it :)
 

Charem

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Sorry to hear you've had a bad day. You sound just like me, i'm brave and i'll speak my mind one minute and the next it all gets a bit too much for me to cope!

Sounds to me a though your boss 'got out on the wronf side of the bed'. There's not really much to mucking out, it's a pretty simple task and if you've been doing fine for years then I doubt you need a lecture on how to **** shovel! Boss or not she shouldn't speak to you like that and I think you deserve an appology.
 

Fools Motto

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But a boss has the right to say please don't do that like or even don't do that like that I will show how I want it done and you as the employee has to say ok I'll do it your way because that's what you are paying me to to do.
There should not be anything emotional about this and as for saying she should have told you on Friday perhaps she was busy and it did not suit her to do so she is paying you and she can set the rules.
I employ experianced people and have things that I like no I will say require to be done my way I do not negotiate these things I show what I like explain why and correct every time I see it done another way.
You say you are over senestive and I understand you feel bad at the moment , your boss should not have shouted at you but she has the right to show you how to muck out if she wishes to and to chose when she raises the issue with you.
Good luck I hope you can sort out your relationship with her and don't leave a job that suits you over one bad day.

This is very true. What gets my goat is the fact that I've been there nearly 2 years, been praised to high heaven about how good I am - which is lovely, but doesn't make my head grow! She knows I take pride in my work, and she knows when she tells me things I touch my forelock, say yep, ok and get on with it. I never have questioned her, or disagreed with her - until today, where I, uncharactoristicly 'snapped' and said 'you're kidding - don't be so petty'.
I, perhaps over stepped the mark, but in my eyes what she was telling me wasn't true - leaving dirty stables on Friday so they were even dirtier over the weekend, I know with my whole heart that simply can not have been true.
And then to blame me for the above and the reason she couldn't spend any time with her family over the w/end ...

Oh well, see what my next day there brings..
 

Goldenstar

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This is very true. What gets my goat is the fact that I've been there nearly 2 years, been praised to high heaven about how good I am - which is lovely, but doesn't make my head grow! She knows I take pride in my work, and she knows when she tells me things I touch my forelock, say yep, ok and get on with it. I never have questioned her, or disagreed with her - until today, where I, uncharactoristicly 'snapped' and said 'you're kidding - don't be so petty'.
I, perhaps over stepped the mark, but in my eyes what she was telling me wasn't true - leaving dirty stables on Friday so they were even dirtier over the weekend, I know with my whole heart that simply can not have been true.
And then to blame me for the above and the reason she couldn't spend any time with her family over the w/end ...

Oh well, see what my next day there brings..
Ok I would not accept being called petty I am not being difficult just trying to show the other side of the coin.
If you had called me petty you would have been told in no uncertain terms that was not on.
Our horses cost us all our money enjoying being on the yard is an apsolutly essential to me that includes friendly professional relationships with the people who work with me
If your boss has previously been reasonable try to work out want has triggered this off and I would advise you to seek to disscuss it with her and clear the air in a calm way.
Good luck.
 

Fools Motto

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I know (least I think I do) the reason why she has been grumpy with me - the last few weeks I have felt the tension. Give it a few more weeks and I'm sure it'll settle down when the pressure point has passed!
I've spoken to a few people over this, and some have said it would have already helped 'clear the air'... the occasional bust up is good!??!! I'm therefore pretty convinced that all will be fine. And whats more, why leave a job over something so ''petty''.... sounds ridiculous now doesn't it?!

(although - i continue to stand my ground, I will not tolerate mucking out lessons, from anyone. I'm happy to be told what they want as an end result, - which I got from her originally nearly 2 years ago, but not physically the lesson.)
 

Goldenstar

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I know (least I think I do) the reason why she has been grumpy with me - the last few weeks I have felt the tension. Give it a few more weeks and I'm sure it'll settle down when the pressure point has passed!
I've spoken to a few people over this, and some have said it would have already helped 'clear the air'... the occasional bust up is good!??!! I'm therefore pretty convinced that all will be fine. And whats more, why leave a job over something so ''petty''.... sounds ridiculous now doesn't it?!

(although - i continue to stand my ground, I will not tolerate mucking out lessons, from anyone. I'm happy to be told what they want as an end result, - which I got from her originally nearly 2 years ago, but not physically the lesson.)
You and I could not work together then show is my usual way of training as that is how I was trained after two years though I would be surprised to have to do it for mucking out .
To the people saying tell her to sling her hook etc etc somethings must suit you about the job you have been there two years don't throw away a job that suits you over one bad episode employers are allowed to be fallible too no ones perfect .
 

mynutmeg

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Then of course, as usual I get upset (which for some reason I have a huge issue with - I simply can't control my emotions.) And low and behold I continue to get lectures about keeping my emotions and feelings to myself, which I would love to be able to do!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I have exactly the same problem - when I have something like this I can't stop myself from crying - it's so embarssing and frustrating.
 
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