Can i have a little moan?

[Delicious_D]

Just been looking at the Eskadron, Euro star and HV Polo cateloges online....with dee unridden at the moment i have no excuse to indulge in my love for matchy matchy . There is so much nice stuff about this year too .



However, i've treated her to a leather lunge cavesson, a GFS trainning roller and a sneak Eskadron fluffy headcollar (thats her birthday pressie, dont tell her ). Can i really justify buying bandages or tendon boots because i utterly adore them?

On a serious note, its really stupid things like that that upset me so much about not riding dee. I really miss riding her . I feel so guilty as i feel her injury was my fault and she has been a star in her recovery. She is sound now and working on the ground but i darent ride her yet for fear of breaking her. Im deperate to put her in foal (being scanned next week to check her ovulation), and i cannot risk her being stupid and injurying herself and setting herself back so i have a broken horse and no foal.

Please dont read that as i worry she will break when ridden and therefore cannot foal. Everyone around me is saying she is improving, her muscle tone and topline is much better and shes sound as anything, but as she broken twice now, i think im too scared incase she breaks again.

I know i am being stupid, but there is so much cr@p going on atm with serious family worries that i think i am just about managing with everything. I dont think i could emotionally handle it if she broke again :'(.

I remember standing in the tack room, holding her saddle and bursting into tears not to long ago when she went lame again. We had done everything the vet said to do, so much hard work, and she broke. I remember feeling so helpless, like i had no control over the situation and it scared me.

I know i am probably being stupid, and after my recent behaviour deserve to be utterly ignored. But i feel quite alone in all this. If i talk about it i know i will end up bursting into tears, i dont even really talk about whats going on @ home atm, i just throw myself into my work.

I guess i just feel so low. And i really shouldnt, dee is fine, happy, healthy, and hopefully going to have a baby.

Im sorry...this has turned into a proper moan...when it was only meant to be light hearted

Im just fed up pretending its ok that im facing years of not riding dee, its proving hard to fit dee, barnaby and work in and i worry im annoying his owner.

Someone tell me to get a grip?

 

[YorksG]

Can you take some time off work? I know that you probably don't want to (easier to hide everything in work). A week away from work, to devote to both of the horses may help you to get it all into perspective. If the feeling low doesn't pass in a few weeks a trip to the Dr.s may be a good idea.
Oh and of course' Get a grip'

 

[justabob]

I am always at the end of the phone.

 

[Delicious_D]

I was thinking Dr's as i've been feeling like this for a while, but at this sort time of year i can be down and lethargic. I have 1 day off coming up (small yey!) But i have to work as the money is good, and i do actually enjoy my job

justabob - you are and you are lovely! But sometimes its easier to write things down then vocalise them.

 

[Elsbells]

Can you take some time off work? I know that you probably don't want to (easier to hide everything in work). A week away from work, to devote to both of the horses may help you to get it all into perspective. If the feeling low doesn't pass in a few weeks a trip to the Dr.s may be a good idea.
Oh and of course' Get a grip'

Good advice and worth following.

You need to let it go. You can't change how it is so breath out and relax. Easy to say and hard to do I know, but if you want to stay sane, take tiny steps, look after yourself and just cruise. You can bet your bottom dollar D will.

 

[ATrueClassAct]

Know the exact feeling. I feel like if I stop I'll just cry and never get up haha. We've just gotta keep pushin' on and caring for our broken ponies.
I know I'll never ride my little lady again, its a fact and I feel like its my fault completely that she got laminitis. I wish we'd never moved up here. So many regrets.
But shes happy, she is well fed and getting the best care possible. Not much more we can do is there?
Big hugs!

 

[Delicious_D]

Good advice and worth following.

You need to let it go. You can't change how it is so breath out and relax. Easy to say and hard to do I know, but if you want to stay sane, take tiny steps, look after yourself and just cruise. You can bet your bottom dollar D will.

I have 4 days of holiday left for next week til june - i might book a few firdyas/mondays off so i can have long weekends. D is good, she isnt fazed by anything but was mightly miffed at a) being brought in early the other day for chriopractor treatment and b) not being turned out today due to the high winds.

Know the exact feeling. I feel like if I stop I'll just cry and never get up haha. We've just gotta keep pushin' on and caring for our broken ponies.
I know I'll never ride my little lady again, its a fact and I feel like its my fault completely that she got laminitis. I wish we'd never moved up here. So many regrets.
But shes happy, she is well fed and getting the best care possible. Not much more we can do is there?
Big hugs!

sucks doesnt it, now take my advice (im crap at taking my own advise btw), it was not your fault . Anyway, your mare has gorgeous ears

 

[ATrueClassAct]

I have 4 days of holiday left for next week til june - i might book a few firdyas/mondays off so i can have long weekends. D is good, she isnt fazed by anything but was mightly miffed at a) being brought in early the other day for chriopractor treatment and b) not being turned out today due to the high winds.



sucks doesnt it, now take my advice (im crap at taking my own advise btw), it was not your fault . Anyway, your mare has gorgeous ears

Haha I know we shouldnt blame ourselves! Just theyre our babies, love is a strong emotion!
Hahha thank you was giving them a rub just 10 mins ago, can't you just turn your mare into an ear model? she could model all the latest horsey ear gear?

 

[Littlelegs]

When my oldie had a year off injured, my main concern was that she'd just be field sound, & off box rest because I love her. But even though I love her company, & I'd happily give up riding for her, not having that escape grinds you down. Family, work, relationship, financial stress etc just don't seem as bad after riding your own. And without it, they seem much worse. And other peoples horses just don't fill that mental gap the same way. So won't tell you to get a grip, it will get better.

 

[Rachellouise1]

I feel your pain, try to take a deep breath and don't blame yourself. Horses are horses and even those of us who are so careful have horses that break easily. It's extremely annoying those who don't give a s@@t and they just keep plodding on, injury free. If Dee is happy in herself take solace from that in difficult times xxx

 

[Delicious_D]

Haha I know we shouldnt blame ourselves! Just theyre our babies, love is a strong emotion!
Hahha thank you was giving them a rub just 10 mins ago, can't you just turn your mare into an ear model? she could model all the latest horsey ear gear?

I fear her ears are too big I have trouble finding ear covers to fit

*ear rubs ATCA's pony's ears *

When my oldie had a year off injured, my main concern was that she'd just be field sound, & off box rest because I love her. But even though I love her company, & I'd happily give up riding for her, not having that escape grinds you down. Family, work, relationship, financial stress etc just don't seem as bad after riding your own. And without it, they seem much worse. And other peoples horses just don't fill that mental gap the same way. So won't tell you to get a grip, it will get better.

You've summed it up perfectly, its that lack of escapism from the humdrum of life i miss.

 

[Delicious_D]

I feel your pain, try to take a deep breath and don't blame yourself. Horses are horses and even those of us who are so careful have horses that break easily. It's extremely annoying those who don't give a s@@t and they just keep plodding on, injury free. If Dee is happy in herself take solace from that in difficult times xxx

Thank you

 

[Goldenstar]

It's hard when you only have one and they break , riding is such a therapy when other things are bad because you can forget every thing when you are training a horse and now things are difficult and you have not got that release.
I echo the others take some time of do something completly different that you normally would not do.
Can you find a horse to ride just so you can get a fix.
I hope your Dad is not feeling to bad and D takes easily .