Can I help you with your horses.

I remember being about 12 and living in Tottenham I had 1 lesson a week in Chingford that's all we could afford.

A friend and I saw a lady riding along the road in Tottenham and ran over to her and she said her and her husband ran a stable yard for city kids and told us to come down.

It was literally the other side of Tottenham so just walking distance we were thrilled and went along whenever we could.

We quickly realised all was not quite right with the husband and we both said we would never go there alone, unfortunately my friend went back on that agreement and started going without me.

Unfortunately this man was a child abuser and my friend got very caught up in it all along with many other young girls.

I did end up dating this man's son when I was about 15 so I saw alot of things that I knew were not right but never told anyone.

Luckily I severed ties with these people when I was 18, many years later when I was about 27 I was approached by the police about this family and the case went to the old Bailey where I and many other now women gave evidence.

He had over 20 counts of sexual assault and rape made against him some on girls only 11 years old at the time.

I'm glad my evidence helped to put him away for a very long time.
 
I'm another who did not come from a horsey family but would do anything to just breathe the same air as a pony.

I volunteered on weekends at my local riding school from a young age and did everything from mucking out to leading beginners in group lessons, cleaning tack, grooming, bringing in and turning out etc. I would stay there all day and come home stinking and happy.

Those were also the days when there were less cars on the road, and the area I grew up in had amazing bridleways so we would go on three hour hacks with lots of galloping and jumping ditches.

It was quite a shock over a decade later when I had a private lesson at a riding school in a different part of the country, and you weren't allowed so much as to lead the horse you were riding or take them back to their stable afterwards to untack and groom. The whole experience felt so sterile and objectifying of the horse.

I understand that health and safety regulations are much stricter these days, but I'm another who would not be who I am today - an owner of multiple horses from a non-horsey family - were it not for the experience I gained from helping out at my childhood riding school.
 
if someone asks for a sit on, like a complete novice i kit em out with hat and instructions, and they ride the stallion on the surface with me at their side but only in walk, also the rescue he is good, even 20 minutes they get a feel for riding forwards halting and using their hands and legs softly so go away knowing how `it a`should feel` hopefully a feeling they will never forget when they come to learn properly
 
We were at an agricultural show a few weeks ago, my kids were brushing their ponies outside the lorry and a family came walking past with small children. They were looking shy then the mother asked really nicely if the children could maybe pat one of the ponies.
They are all very quiet and so not only did they pat them, but I got them all up on the quietest one and then they had a go brushing them.
They were so grateful, then afterwards there was a post on social media asking who I was to say how much they’d enjoyed it.

Yes I shouldn’t have let them ride about on the pony bareback with no hat, but they did and I think they’ll remember it forever. Helps my kids realise how lucky they are too, and hopefully make a good example of sharing your good fortune when you can.

The people were nice and polite though (kids included!!) which definitely helps!!
 
Patterdale said:
We were at an agricultural show a few weeks ago, my kids were brushing their ponies outside the lorry and a family came walking past with small children. They were looking shy then the mother asked really nicely if the children could maybe pat one of the ponies.
They are all very quiet and so not only did they pat them, but I got them all up on the quietest one and then they had a go brushing them.
They were so grateful, then afterwards there was a post on social media asking who I was to say how much they’d enjoyed it.

Yes I shouldn’t have let them ride about on the pony bareback with no hat, but they did and I think they’ll remember it forever. Helps my kids realise how lucky they are too, and hopefully make a good example of sharing your good fortune when you can.

The people were nice and polite though (kids included!!) which definitely helps!!
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I'd taken Coco my little Shetland for a walk and she'd accumulated a bit of a fan base at the pub (she is very adorable) we ended up stood in the pub carpark for about 20 minutes so everyone's little uns could have a photo with her. Lord knows how many facebook pages she's ended up on.
 
I noticed a little block of stables near where i grew up and there were the most beautiful chestnut arabs in the nearby field, i hung about watchung time and again for ages in the hope i would bump into someone, i did and i was able to go in and strake their noses when the owner was about, he had a stunning stallion called Horace.
He sort of encouraged and definatly turned a blind eye to me spending time with an old arab cross mare that was shut into a stable and yard (12×12), just about 30ft away, the door in was locked and she hadnt been out for a couple of years at least according to him, she never went into her paddock and once or twice a week someone would come and give her a bale of hay, she was so thin, i used to take her out to let her graze and i would sit on her sometimes but i just loved spending time with her.
I was all so very wrong but i still believe the pony got a lot out of the time i spent with her, i would spend hrs grooming her, the owners must have known someone was doing that?
 
Another who is from a non horsey family. Imagine my delight when 6 ponies turned up in the field across the road (think I was 9). My mum asked if I could help (our local riding school had shut down) and we were very lucky when she said yes! I learned so much and when she moved away with the ponies I was gutted. My commitment to these ponies didn't go unnoticed and a woman further up the village very kindly offered me to help them at there private yard, her daughter had moved on and they had a lovely cob who enjoyed the fuss. From there we were offered a pony on loan, I did everything under the watchful eye of the YO. I will always be grateful for these opportunities and hope one day I can give something back to a pony mad child!

With riding schools & yards shutting left right and centre it's a sad time for any want to be equestrians.
 
I am another who called to a house and asked to help with a horse and pony when I was a kid. I was allowed to muck out the field: it was like a swamp! I didn't care though as I had time with horses other than once a week at a riding school.

Forward another 45 years and I have Rigsby, who is suitable for a novice on the school, and he has had several kids have their first rides. They also groom etc. I don't really want kids around the place as a regular thing though, just because it is also my private home.
 
I also spent all weekend hanging about the riding stables. I led ponies, one each side for up many hours each day round the lanes. Sometimes a customer would offer the helpers a ‘backie’ up a hill (poor ponies) we mucked out and were often cold and wet. Only free ride was breaking horses in - no hat in those days and if you were afraid you were sent home. We used to climb on in the field and get the ponies to canter. Brilliant memories and still in touch with the other pony girls.
 
In fairness, assuming a non-horsey parent of a child fairly new to riding, there's going to be a lot they don't know that they don't know.

Reading this thread made me a bit emotional, in a nice way; I know it's not for everyone and not always appropriate and shouldn't be expected to have others interact with your horses but it is heart-warming reading some of the replies having been (and still being really) that pony-mad girl with 'just' lessons, for which I know I was lucky to even have that.

I did get to have the experience of being 'dumped' at the RS on a Saturday (early 2000s) although I'm not sure I learned that much as we were kind of left to our own devices! I do remember riding bareback on the lanes to take the ponies to the field at the end of the day. And taking a very large (possibly TB) horse for an in-hand walk and thankfully one of the older girls being sent not long after me, just in time to save my bacon as it started towing me down the lane (I've no idea who thought that was a good idea, I just know I would have been utterly clueless and thinking 'wow look at me getting to take this horse for a walk!') It was fun times but perhaps too far along the line of not enough supervision/health and safety thinking!

poiuytrewq said:
I’d actually quite like it it someone wanted to help with mine. I’d like the company and I too remember once asking someone if I could help and being told no (quite nastily as I recall!) I used to walk my dog miles to get past her field to look at them, we lived in the city then.

I don’t have anything someone could learn to ride on though, although my ridden horse is really good atm I could possibly walk alongside with no problem but that would be it.
Then only til autumn/ winter when the personality transplant kicks in!
Someone nice who wanted to come and brush/fuss over ponies I’d quite like!
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Apologies if this is super cheeky, would you mind if I PM you about this? Absolutely no offense will be taken if you prefer not!
 
I have had it in both ways. Despite having three daughters, none of them ended up horsey, so I have acquired three horsey daughters along the way over 15 years. All from non horsey parents. I enjoyed sharing my ponies. I even gave lessons to a friend of my eldest as she wanted to have riding as her D of E hobby. She used to pay me in cake!
They were the success stories.
The other story was when a mother got in touch to ask if her pony mad daughter could ride my ponies, and as the pony was almost retired and without a regular rider I said ok. The mother said she could bring her daughter down Saturday morning and pick her up later!!!! I declined this generous offer, and suggested they both came out on the ride. I led my other pony, the little girl rode my older pony, very nicely I should say, and the mother came along behind. The mother was slightly overweight and unfit. The little girl was quite a good little rider, so when I had her measure I suggested a trot, and a little later on a tiny canter along a grassy lane. I took my pony ahead, and I knew my lovely safe old boy would pop into a little canter to catch up. Meanwhile mother was struggling to keep up. We all get back to the barn. Little girl very happy, lovely old pony happy, and I am happy … mother red faced and puffed.
They never asked again 😂
 
Patterdale said:
I learned to ride like this. Literally stopped a lady out hacking when I was 8/9 and asked if I could help look after her horse 🙈
From a totally non horsey family, I then basically lived at the yard which was within biking distance. My mum didn’t meet them for weeks. I just hung around and did every smelly, horrible, unpleasant job going. I cycled off for chips and coke for everyone on sunny days, I mucked out deep littered stables, I pulled ragwort. Then after a few weeks they started letting me ride. It was amazing, what a childhood.

The world is different now though sadly. People are SO entitled. No one would ever expect to do what I did, sweep down cobwebs and whitewash walls just to breathe the same air as the horses. They’d come with their parents, they’d sue if (when) they got injured, they’d complain on social media if their 10 minutes of ineffective poo picking didn’t earn them a Jill’s Gymkhana day out at the local show.

So sadly, I’d probably say the same as the OP. And I have, actually, many times. But a child has never asked me now I think of it - it’s always the parents.
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Aw, Patterdale, I want you to write a pony book. That was lovely.
 
I've commented on this topic before. I do my best to be child friendly, and have "adopted" a few horsie kids over the years. Carefully handpicked with parent interviews and close supervision and a huge about of "good gut feeling" ... They've all grown into wonderful horsewomen that I am proud of. I haven't had time to "adopt" anyone for a few years now and I won't allow anyone near my horses without me right there. However, a lady nearby runs an unregistered "riding school" with a whole host of fat safe ponies. She kept coming to my yard to introduce to me her "best" riders in the hopes I might take one on. Her last one ran INTO my then 2yo's hocks in her haste to get to the paddock to look at our foals. So she got booted. Apparently she'd been riding 3 years at this point and didn't know horses could kick. That was the last time riding school lady visited, thank god. Now I am just the grumpy yard with the nasty horses. Perfect.
 
When I was a kid I was very lucky to be able to help out a lady with horses who lived up the road, I helped with her horses and then she let me come to work with her and do jobs at the yard she ran. I did everything from oiling doors, pulling ragwort , riding, grooming, tack cleaning and more and I am so grateful I was able to have that. I still go and see her to this day! I was competent when she first let me come help. I wish it was easier for horse deprived children to be with them
 
Didn’t expect so many replies. Loved reading them everyone. Here’s an update for you.
I Agreed mum & daughter could come & meet me for a chat. Girl was very polite & interested to know about my horses.
I stressed no riding available but I would teach her what’s involved in looking after a horse & handling them. Girl was very keen & we arranged next Sunday morning, Mum booked her a lesson at a local riding school before then. Girl came at the time we agreed, got stuck in mucking out, preparing feeds & haynets, asked sensible questions. Didn’t come with a hat & gloves, had been told she needed these, so I wouldn’t let her near the horses. In her riding school lesson she said she’d struggled with getting on / off pony so I put saddle on saddle horse & explained what to do & how to do it. She said she’d had a good time & could she come next weekend. I said it would have to be Saturday as I’m judging Sunday. OK she’d text me Monday night to let me know if she could come on Saturday. Monday night, & the rest of the week, came & went - nothing. I’m never going to be nice & helpful to any more young ones.
 
millitiger said:
I have sympathy with horse mad kids who don't have the opportunity to even be near them.

If it were me I would explain no riding at all but if they want to come and see the horses and maybe do some poo picking and grooming (under supervision) then give them a day and time.
This from someone who REALLY doesn't like kids but I remember just wanting to be around them and I would leave notes on the gates of all of the horses I saw around our housing estate.

No-one should feel they have to offer, it's just what I would do as want to share the magic of being around horses if people are enthusiastic.
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This is what I did. Girl 13 yrs old) was sensible & quite good. I said she could come again if she wanted & suggested day & time. She said she’d ask her mum. Never had sight nor sound of her again.
 
Mari said:
Didn’t expect so many replies. Loved reading them everyone. Here’s an update for you.
I Agreed mum & daughter could come & meet me for a chat. Girl was very polite & interested to know about my horses.
I stressed no riding available but I would teach her what’s involved in looking after a horse & handling them. Girl was very keen & we arranged next Sunday morning, Mum booked her a lesson at a local riding school before then. Girl came at the time we agreed, got stuck in mucking out, preparing feeds & haynets, asked sensible questions. Didn’t come with a hat & gloves, had been told she needed these, so I wouldn’t let her near the horses. In her riding school lesson she said she’d struggled with getting on / off pony so I put saddle on saddle horse & explained what to do & how to do it. She said she’d had a good time & could she come next weekend. I said it would have to be Saturday as I’m judging Sunday. OK she’d text me Monday night to let me know if she could come on Saturday. Monday night, & the rest of the week, came & went - nothing. I’m never going to be nice & helpful to any more young ones.
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Well it’s your life and you can obviously do as you please but deciding to never be helpful to any more young people just because one person has let you down seems a bit narrow minded.
Yes it’s annoying and impolite of them to treat you this way. It seems unfair to tar everyone with the same brush though. But just my opinion
 
Ceifer said:
Well it’s your life and you can obviously do as you please but deciding to never be helpful to any more young people just because one person has let you down seems a bit narrow minded.
Yes it’s annoying and impolite of them to treat you this way. It seems unfair to tar everyone with the same brush though. But just my opinion
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Actually I’ve had 2 people just drop me like this. It was after the first one I decided to give another teenage girl a go. Now, after dropping me 6 weeks ago with no contact, she has texted me asking if she can come to my stables again saying her phone has been acting up so she hasn’t been able to contact me. I don’t believe her. She lives near enough to call in. Also I’ve taken on board what others have said re insurance, liability, safety, “child minding”, teaching / training for free. Not going to do it.
 
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