Can I rant ? (long)

Bettyboo222

Bettyboo222

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As some of you know I look after a 43 year old mare for her owner, since April I have struggled with her weight, and after trail and error with feeds managed to get her on the perfect amount. I used to go up nearly every day, but now its winter its getting harder for me to get there on my push bike, but the owner is fine with that. A few weeks ago The owner (X) took B off the chaff that was good for her and put her on on that was sutible for both of her horses. Cue weight starting to drop off, now she has changed the mash onto Pasture mix ! Totally unsutible for B but fine for her other horse. The other horse is a good doer and doesn't need pony nuts, ad lib hay, pasture mix and chaff, he would probably be ok on a handful of pasture mix and some ad-lib. The weight that I had managed to get on B has already dropped off as well as the muscle that I spent months walking her slowly in hand up and down hills.

I haven't been able to go up for the past week due to snow, coursework ect but apparently on Sat because B wasn't getting any of her oils ect she could physically walk. I walk B everyday but apperently X hadn't ! She had left B in her stable so come sat her toes were dragging on the ground and she could move her hips.

Sorry for the post just really annoyed
 
While I can understand you feeling peeved, if the weather means that you can't physically get there, and the owner hasn't got the time etc. to do what is necessary, then I think you and the owner may have to make 'the' decision. Sad as that is.
 
That is really pants, you would think the owner would be soooooo happy with what you had acheived that she would be carrying on doing everything.
Have you spoken to the owner even in a how is b doing, hope she is still sparkling in herself, oh and have you remember to take her for a stroll or she stiffens up.
 
What really annoys it the fact that the owner has got the times she just can't be bothered. She throws the feeds over in the morning, I have spoken to the owner about how well B was looking but it seems that because B is (for want of a better phrase) no use anymore she doesn't care about her
 
Think I'm going to sound harsh here but here goes... unforunatley horses still need looking after even when it shows, they don't know that it has snowed so hard that their owner/carer can't come up and see them, in a worst case senario yes sometimes you do need to make alternative arrangements but in many cases these are never exactly the same as your own, unless on full livery I suppose, it is thnakfull that the horse still had someone managing to go up a feed/water her. I assume you are looking after this elderly horse in the first place because the owner is not interested therefore I wouldn't expect them to do exactly the same as you when you can't get up. Have you said out right to this owner that the horse has lost weight again and desperatly needs to be kept on this diet, you may need too. Do you have a written contract that states what elements of the horses care you are responsible for, if so you have made the committe to this horse and really should be trying to keep going up regardless of coursework or snow.
It does however sound like you are doing a great job with this horse and you may just have to exccept that its owner is not interested.
 
I haven't been able to go up for the past week due to snow, coursework ect but apparently on Sat because B wasn't getting any of her oils ect she could physically walk. I walk B everyday but apperently X hadn't ! She had left B in her stable so come sat her toes were dragging on the ground and she could move her hips.
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And this is according to who??

The owner must have been doing something right to get the mare to the grand old age of 40 odd, surely????
 
According to the owner, and to several liverys who phoned me worried.

There is no contract, it was an informal arrangment. I know I should of gone up but I couldn't get there. The road was pure ice and I had been told point blank that I wasn't to try and walk or cycle there. The owner and I had talked about the situation and she said that she would do the feeds and muck out both of them until I was able to get up there again.
 
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So if the road were pure ice, was the yard pure ice too - meaning that no horse could safely be brought out of the stable?

Frustrating - but it's not your horse at the end of the day. I'd just let the owner get on with it, personally.
 
i keep my horse in a field rented by another woman who owns an old horse. she neither goes up and checks on it or feeds it and he started looking like at hat rack. in the snow i have been feeding enough hay for them both because i couldnt leave him. but at the same time felt awful because i dont like interfering with other peoples horses, golden rule i picked up on livery yards, even though im not on one. i bumped into her in my street and she told me she was taking one slab up a day because she couldnt carry more, and also that she is paying £8 a bale from our local saddlery. unfortunately i know that the hay there is only £5.40 and the field is surrounded by houses of which the residents never fail to tell me that they havent seen her once since it snowed(most being retired and very very nosey) that its hard not to believe them. i do it because i cant see the horse waste away from neglect but i know at some point she'll flip her lid but i'll live with it. horses are a serious commitment and they have to be looked after, if you want them looked aftre a certain way you have to do it yourself, yes it is a sad reality but its the truth, you cant rely on other people.
 
I wasn't clear there sorry

The track leading to the farm was pure ice, the yard and a the tracks which people use for getting round the farm were clear.

At the moment I'm torn between my heart and my head, my head is saying leave them to get on with it but my in my heart I can't bear to see B suffer
 
Tinsel_Tree said:
I wasn't clear there sorry

The track leading to the farm was pure ice, the yard and a the tracks which people use for getting round the farm were clear.

At the moment I'm torn between my heart and my head, my head is saying leave them to get on with it but my in my heart I can't bear to see B suffer
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I don't think we are saying you should give up completley as I said it sounds like you have done well, but if that is the commitment you have made (be it by heart or head) then you really need to stick to it, at the end of the day others must have been managing to get up this ice road and the horse was getting fed/watered and mucked out while you couldn't.
 
Tinsel_Tree said:
I wasn't clear there sorry

The track leading to the farm was pure ice, the yard and a the tracks which people use for getting round the farm were clear.

At the moment I'm torn between my heart and my head, my head is saying leave them to get on with it but my in my heart I can't bear to see B suffer
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Well then if you can't bear to see her suffer, find a way to get there.
What if she was your horse? You would have had to find a way to get to her regardless of weather or other committments.
Can you not cycle most of the way as you normally do and then walk the icy track part?

As it happens, she is not your responsibility however you seem to have made a committment to take care of her, so you either have to butt out and let the owner do things her way, and I echo the person who said she can't be doing that bad having got this mare to 43 years old, or you stick to your committment and get up to look after her regardless of all other factors just like an owner would x
 
If she was mine, I would be there everyday regardless. However my mum has got it into her head that as she is not mine Why should risk getting myself ran over or going behind on coursework deadlines when she has an owner ? I can't convince my mum otherwise, I would rather go up everytime I can rather than have my mum stop me going up at all
 
missyme10 said:
Well then if you can't bear to see her suffer, find a way to get there.
What if she was your horse? You would have had to find a way to get to her regardless of weather or other committments.
Can you not cycle most of the way as you normally do and then walk the icy track part?

As it happens, she is not your responsibility however you seem to have made a committment to take care of her, so you either have to butt out and let the owner do things her way, and I echo the person who said she can't be doing that bad having got this mare to 43 years old, or you stick to your committment and get up to look after her regardless of all other factors just like an owner would x
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Steady on, don't be so hard on the kid, she's probably got no-one else to talk to about this situation and is turning to this forum to vent her frustration.

TBH, if the horse were mine and was showing signs of discomfort, ie not being able to walk, I'd be considering quality of life and The Decision.
 
Tinsel_Tree said:
If she was mine, I would be there everyday regardless. However my mum has got it into her head that as she is not mine Why should risk getting myself ran over or going behind on coursework deadlines when she has an owner ? I can't convince my mum otherwise, I would rather go up everytime I can rather than have my mum stop me going up at all
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Ahh right now that paints a rather different picture to the situation.
I am now presuming your young, possibly still at school, maybe college.

And I am also presuming that the owner is a lot older than you, especially considering she has a 43 year old horse, highly unlikely she took her on at 30 I suspect, so she's prob my age or older.

I agree with your Mum, you should be only taking care of this horse during your "spare" time, and I suspect that the owner probably appreciates your help and input with her mare, but it is just that. A younger person who loves horses and helps when time allows.

You need to leave the owner to it I'm afraid, and just help out when you can and give this old girl some love and attention. You may find being critical wont be taken so well considering the owner has probably being involved with horses for years and you are young. Is it also possible she has lost weight recently due to the extreme cold conditions? Something to consider x
 
Slightly Foxed said:
Steady on, don't be so hard on the kid, she's probably got no-one else to talk to about this situation and is turning to this forum to vent her frustration.

TBH, if the horse were mine and was showing signs of discomfort, ie not being able to walk, I'd be considering quality of life and The Decision.
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I have only just realised she's young, hence I've just said her last reply now paints a very different picture x
 
I'm in my last year at high school and the owner is 21 ( the horse was her mums before hers) I was expecting weight loss with the cold, I just think that if the fees hadn't been changed she wouldn't of lost so much, so fast
 
Tinsel_Tree said:
I'm in my last year at high school and the owner is 21 ( the horse was her mums before hers) I was expecting weight loss with the cold, I just think that if the fees hadn't been changed she wouldn't of lost so much, so fast
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Ahh so your both young.

Well now knowing the full picture, and u girls are similar age, just have a chat with her and tell her how you feel, and ask if its possible for her to continue what you have been doing on the days u can't get there as the mare has improved so much in condition since you've been giving her the feeds you have.
Are you mates the pair of you? If so, it shouldn't be to hard, good luck.
I can see your just worried about the old girl, its lovely you care and I'm sure she enjoys your time, effort and attention x
 
It is perfectly possible for a pony to reach a very advanced age despite the lack of efforts of the owner - I know because I looked after a geriatric pony and it baffled me that she had lasted so long frankly, given the owners complete lack of care. The poor little soul had almost no functioning teeth and couldn't manage anything other than grass in terms of fodder but she received NOTHING each winter and basically lived on her own fat reserves (amazingly she was still quite a good doer and would plump up during the summer). Her rug was at least 20 years old, didn't fit and there was more of her fur than lining inside. The owner said she had lost weight every winter for 20 years - well I soon found out why! When I took her on she weighed 550lbs and was a hat-rack.. By the end of the first winter she weighed over 700lbs. All it took was soaked feed, sugar beet (apparently she hated that and wouldn't eat it) and lots of chop. She would suffer from sweetitch in the summer, but got nothing to help her, not even some flyspray. She would rub her dock to a complete bleeding mess and chunks of her mane out - I was told this was normal and her skin was as hard as leather. Funny that because plentiful use of my cheap and cheerful home-made fly spray meant she had a full tail and no scabs. A couple of the other liveries persuaded the owner to buy her a new rug (she lived out 24/7) really helped in the winter although it broke my heart that she had no shelter at all. Basically the owner had spent years hoping the poor old soul would just die in the field and save him the hassle of having to pay to have her put down. Disgusting.
 
Tinsel_Tree said:
I'll speak to her, I'm just scared of saying the wrong thing and her saying I can't see B anymore :o
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She would have to be pretty damn unreasonable to react like that. Only you know her, is she the unreasonable sort?

Also wanted to ask, this feed you have been giving her thats helped with her weight, who is buying it? I hope its the owner, at 43 I'm sure you aren't riding, so all the time and effort you put into this mare is for her sake and for your enjoyment, but your not getting to ride so I wouldn't expect you to be paying anything towards her keep whether it be in the way of food or anything else x
 
I know peoples. opinions of the rspca, BUT once reported they have to follow up.

a few years back I was on a yard and the young girl had a mare that had awful sweet itch and a breathing problem, she would not do any thing about it just telling us all horse fine she was treating it etc, well i can not stand to see a horse suffer so put in a call to the rspca. they did attend. the horse got vetinary treatment and they also followed up. the horse got better, and then i sold it for the girl.

I never reveled who I was to the rspca and yes it caused a hell of a lot of agro on the yard.. LOL funny enough I was the only one that didnt get accused of call the rspca!

any way my point.. the horse here is the important one, I understand you are young so may be talk to your mum. but if it really is that bad then just put in a call and at least then your mind is at rest. May be talk your mum about it?
 
missyme10 said:
She would have to be pretty damn unreasonable to react like that. Only you know her, is she the unreasonable sort?

Also wanted to ask, this feed you have been giving her thats helped with her weight, who is buying it? I hope its the owner, at 43 I'm sure you aren't riding, so all the time and effort you put into this mare is for her sake and for your enjoyment, but your not getting to ride so I wouldn't expect you to be paying anything towards her keep whether it be in the way of food or anything else x
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She has only reacted unresonably once so I think I coul explain things to her.

I paid for the feed that was putting weight on her but then the owner sad she would buy it, so I let her. She won't let me buy all of it again, but I buy oils yo put in it for her and buy her things like stable rugs, stable toys, treats ect. I don't have to buy that stuff but I want to with my money.
 
jhoward said:
I know peoples. opinions of the rspca, BUT once reported they have to follow up.

a few years back I was on a yard and the young girl had a mare that had awful sweet itch and a breathing problem, she would not do any thing about it just telling us all horse fine she was treating it etc, well i can not stand to see a horse suffer so put in a call to the rspca. they did attend. the horse got vetinary treatment and they also followed up. the horse got better, and then i sold it for the girl.

I never reveled who I was to the rspca and yes it caused a hell of a lot of agro on the yard.. LOL funny enough I was the only one that didnt get accused of call the rspca!

any way my point.. the horse here is the important one, I understand you are young so may be talk to your mum. but if it really is that bad then just put in a call and at least then your mind is at rest. May be talk your mum about it?
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I don't think its that bad yet, but I'm going to speak to the owner tonight/tommorow and talk about the supplements she needs. If she won't put it in the feeds mabey thats a viable option
 
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