Can I sell my soulmate??

Personally I couldnt do it....my older mare is 17 this year, and isnt going anywhere.....even if I only had one (My last horse was 22 when he died...)....I just couldnt sell her on when she has given me the last 9 years of her life and been a saint for most of it.....

I have been giving my girl 'propell plus' and she does seem to feel much better in herself.....not that she ever feels bad, but she seems to be a bit more 'perky'.....
 
oooh leary (hugs) i really sympathise....


i sold my horse back in feb and it was sooo hard. I had had him for just over 2 years.When i bought him it was to happy hack, i wasnt confident to jump anymore - i was returning to riding at 30, having had years off. Anyway.. last October we qualified for the BHS XC champs at Gleneagles and came 3rd, so that tells you how much he taught me. However, I started to get frustrated in lessons because I had started to want him to do more than he was able. When I bought him I knew he was no dressage horse - and yet all of a sudden I wanted good enough flatwork to be able to be competitive at ODE's. I also wanted to go up the heights jumping and started having stops:o He at this point was 15.........

all this took about 6 months to sink home til after a lesson one day i broke down when my RI had a go at me for putting too much pressure on him:o and basically said 'just because NSN wants a horse that can do X,Y and Z, this poor horse has to change from the happy hacker you bought to be able to do it':o:(

i, like you, could only afford one horse..... so what did i do? keep him, my wonderful friend who had taught me so much , and accept that we had reached our peak? And that within the next 5 years he would no doubt start to slow down.... and then i would be in the position of having a retired horse and never being able to afford another. I could be well into my forties by the time i could get another horse and by then, i might have lost the mojo, lol

Or - sell him, while he was still fit and saleable and could do the same for soemone else as he could for me? My RI said this was the right decision so i put him up for sale.

It almost made me ill - really, it was truly horrible. However, it was made easier by the fact i started riding a friend's horse so i was bonding with him and backing off from my own lad. This also reassured me i was doing the right thing as i was able to do things with my friends horse i couldnt do with my own.

The right buyers came along... and he is happy as anything, teaching a 12 year old and her mum, and i have seen pics of them out sj recently and he looks great:)

I have a new horse - a youngster, who i adore. I wont say it isnt hard though. Every time something little goes wrong you cant help but think back to the one you sold. Ive also found it hard to see all the photos of me and him up on my wall now.... BUT i know ive made the right decision.

good luck - i know how hard it is.
 
She sounds great-if it were me and if it was possible i would find a sharer for her someone to come and ride and take care of her 2-3 times a week who could give some contribution to her(i for one would jump at the chance to share a horse like that) and with the money you get from the sharer you could share someone elses horse so you can still progress with you're riding but still keep your best mate. Suppose that could get a bit complicated but would be possible i think.hope you work it out
 
If she is your soulmate when you advertise her and people start to come and look at her you won't be able to part with her.

I would not sell an 18 year old unless it was to someone I knew and trusted.

Could you look at getting a sharer for her and then get yourself a share in a more forward going horse yourself.

It also maybe that she could be capable of more but has not been schooled to be more responsive to the leg and that if she were fitter and was built up gently and with some lessons she could improve a bit.

Loaning her out locally might also be an option - try advertising her through your local RC. Yes she may get sent back but also if you do decide to take on a more lively loan horse and it does not work out and you then decide you would like your confidence giver back then you still have that option. Confidence is hard to gain and easily lost.

NAF are advertising a product called Energy and it is meant to give the lethargic horse a bit of boost perhaps you could try that.
 
NeverSayNever said:
oooh leary (hugs) i really sympathise....


i sold my horse back in feb and it was sooo hard. I had had him for just over 2 years.When i bought him it was to happy hack, i wasnt confident to jump anymore - i was returning to riding at 30, having had years off. Anyway.. last October we qualified for the BHS XC champs at Gleneagles and came 3rd, so that tells you how much he taught me. However, I started to get frustrated in lessons because I had started to want him to do more than he was able. When I bought him I knew he was no dressage horse - and yet all of a sudden I wanted good enough flatwork to be able to be competitive at ODE's. I also wanted to go up the heights jumping and started having stops:o He at this point was 15.........

all this took about 6 months to sink home til after a lesson one day i broke down when my RI had a go at me for putting too much pressure on him:o and basically said 'just because NSN wants a horse that can do X,Y and Z, this poor horse has to change from the happy hacker you bought to be able to do it':o:(

i, like you, could only afford one horse..... so what did i do? keep him, my wonderful friend who had taught me so much , and accept that we had reached our peak? And that within the next 5 years he would no doubt start to slow down.... and then i would be in the position of having a retired horse and never being able to afford another. I could be well into my forties by the time i could get another horse and by then, i might have lost the mojo, lol

Or - sell him, while he was still fit and saleable and could do the same for soemone else as he could for me? My RI said this was the right decision so i put him up for sale.

It almost made me ill - really, it was truly horrible. However, it was made easier by the fact i started riding a friend's horse so i was bonding with him and backing off from my own lad. This also reassured me i was doing the right thing as i was able to do things with my friends horse i couldnt do with my own.

The right buyers came along... and he is happy as anything, teaching a 12 year old and her mum, and i have seen pics of them out sj recently and he looks great:)

I have a new horse - a youngster, who i adore. I wont say it isnt hard though. Every time something little goes wrong you cant help but think back to the one you sold. Ive also found it hard to see all the photos of me and him up on my wall now.... BUT i know ive made the right decision.

good luck - i know how hard it is.
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Bless you, and thank you for sharing that with me. I will be 40 in a few weeks, and I do sort of think its now or never for getting into competing, and like what was said earlier, is it fair to give her oats and use spurs to make an 18 year old horse do something they really don't want to do. She could get another nervous rider back in the saddle like she did for me, or I could keep her, she could hold me back, and we could get frustrated together. A tough decision to make. Also, at 18 she could go on as a safe ploddy hack for years and years.
 
Leary said:
Thank you all guys. Some really good advice. I think if I did sell her I would be comparing the new horse to her all the time because she is sooo perfect. And to be honest, if it wasn't for her, I would have given up riding. I do owe it to her to keep her for the rest of her life. Just a bit frustrated because I want to progress with my riding but I'm lucky to have a horse at the end of the day :)
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When you posted originally I felt you should sell her but to someone you knew well. From what you have said here you should keep her. Confidence is easily shattered again.
I would say enjoy what you have as these ones are few and far between. Also I am a great believer that children need to learn to use their legs! :)
 
wow sorry but some replies of dnt sell have put to sleep first......oh my god.....i wud nt have a horse pts for any reason other than it was in the horses best interest...nt directed at everyone but one post i wpould rather have pts than sell....oh my god how selfish
 
SO1 said:
If she is your soulmate when you advertise her and people start to come and look at her you won't be able to part with her.

I would not sell an 18 year old unless it was to someone I knew and trusted.

Could you look at getting a sharer for her and then get yourself a share in a more forward going horse yourself.

It also maybe that she could be capable of more but has not been schooled to be more responsive to the leg and that if she were fitter and was built up gently and with some lessons she could improve a bit.

Loaning her out locally might also be an option - try advertising her through your local RC. Yes she may get sent back but also if you do decide to take on a more lively loan horse and it does not work out and you then decide you would like your confidence giver back then you still have that option. Confidence is hard to gain and easily lost.

NAF are advertising a product called Energy and it is meant to give the lethargic horse a bit of boost perhaps you could try that.
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Thank you, will look into that product :)
 
Horsesandshoes- Selfish? How is having your oldies PTS rather than sold on selfish? Surely thats the most selfless thing you can do for them? ie. ensure their future, That way they will NEVER know any discomfort, have always been well fed and cared for and looked after. Sorry but I actually had one aged 16 pts last week rather than pass her on to anyone, she was fit, well and probably rideable (if you had a death wish), we looked for a loan home but too no avail and I'm afraid that blood horses don't winter well out and so keeping them in anything but the stabling they are accustomed too is really out of order and neglectful. It's your horse, been your servant and you owe it a secure future.
 
god i must say ive found the replys to this post utterly ridiculous.
18 is not old shes not a faithfull servant
shes a horse that has restored the op confidence.
she should sell and let her be loved and enjoyed by someone else if she wants more than the horse can give,
what the hell is wrong with that ?
she could work till 30 yrs old .
so plodding around for another 12 yrs .........when you want to compete.
you will end up hitting stale mate.
you only live once op enjoy your riding :}
i know alot of people that would give their right arm for a quiet plod
so you can choose her home very carefully.
but just cant get over everyone thinking 18 is old .
 
I wouldn't sell her, i would loan her out though.

Pilfer is 16 now and he is loaned out- i cannot sell him as he was such a super horse to introduce me to eventing and i feel i owe it to him to ensure he has a safe retirement when the time comes.

he is very much loved in his loan home and i hope he stays there for a long time- however when the time comes for him to come home he will have undoubted priority over my 2 younger, more 'useful' horses and if needs be they will be sold to guarantee him a nice retirement.

i am as competitive as they come and can't imagine not eventing but Pilfer comes before any of my riding aspirations.
 
Yes 18 isnt too old but i think its all down to where and who you sell her too.

If you know the person then go for it but for example if you go to a horse sale sorry to say it but most horses around 18+ go for MEAT not to a happy home. So this is where PTS is the better option than a sale,
But as the owner of this mare truely cares and loves the horse im sure if you cant loan her you will take ur time in finding the perfect home.

I have got a 10year old connemara, i cant afford to keep all my horses, i rescued him 2years ago and its took me this long to get him sound and about £5000 in vet bills. (i am not loaded im in my overdraft every months but it needed to be done) Rebel isnt old and he is a amazing 1m20 showjumper without may winnings on his card so i could get very decent money for him if i sold him.

I cant keep him but i cant sell him either as he has been through sooo much i cant see him being hurt again. Yes i need the money but im going through the process of sending him to the BLUE CROSS rescue centre, as they will love him and own him forever, he will get loaned out but he will always be safe with the blue cross the owners.
This way you could find her a new SAFE home where she will make someone very lucky and happy. but it depends if u need the money off her sale?

Maybe this is something you can do/think about if your that worried about where she will go like i am with rebel.
 
I though I would throw my twopenny worth having seen this situation from both sides of the coin. I had a wonderful mare who was a great allrounder and confidence giver. She slowed down a lot due to arthritis in the last couple of years. She was fine in the school but had to be hacked at walk and jumping was a big no no. I was getting bored and thinking how much I would like to progress with my riding. Hubby agreed we could have a second horse if we paid for it and myself and my daughter were trying to come up with ways to earn the extra cash to keep another horse. Then our lovely mare went down last November and couldn't get back up so we had to make the decision to put her to sleep. Since she died, I have realised how lucky I was to have a totally trustworthy horse that I could put my four year old on and my seven year old could hack on private land off the leading rein, who had perfect manners on the ground and the most beautiful paces. Not to mention the sheer hard work her previous owners put into her dressage work. She was a qaulity mare. But more than that I miss the bond we had built over 10 years. I have cried every day since she has gone and I'll probably never be ready for another horse until I stop looking for her face. No, I'm not the rider I could have been if I had sold her on after a couple of years, but its not how I earn my living and as a possible achivement, it was outweighed by love. I understand your frustrations, but loan her. If you are that attached to her, it will rip your heart out.
 
I am loaning a fully fit & wonderful 18 year old I have had him since he was 13 but if he was mine I would never let him go! I just hope he stays with me until the end and he is not taken off me! I personally wouldnt let her go especially if she is sound & Healthy. you could buy a younger one that could end up with injuries etc! She sounds like the perfect horse to me! Try having weekly lessons on a younger spookier etc horse and see if this keeps yyou happy!

Good Luckx
 
OK, after posting and then reading all the comments I am posting again.

1) To have a horse pts because you do not want it and do not want it passed pillar to post is not the 'brave' thing to do. The right thing to do, is right by your horse and look after it.

2) 18 is old. Yes horses can live far longer nowadays and I understand that many 18 year olds have given lovely nervous types lots of fun etc but really, how many people out there genuinely want an 18yr and will keep it for life?? A few, that's it. Not many, so whilst some of you have great stories how your older horses went on and had lovely lives i bet the ratio is more like 1:100 of success stories.

3) OP, if you really love your horse and want another than i am a big believer in you can put your mind to anything and make anything happen. Try and find a sharer for yours and find a sharer for yourself... May not happen instantly but then you get the best of both worlds. Your horse is still under your care and then you get the ride of something sharper to go and compete on. OR.. Change livery to cheaper and get another on loan and loan out yours. Maybe someone on here near you needs a horse riding (put out a thread on it). What I am saying it make it happen, i.e your ideal situation. You can only try in these situations and you never know what's around the corner.

Goodluck.x
 
Just to add my thoughts:

we have one who is nearing 30, we also have a much younger companion (who is my son's 'pet') . Oldie has to live out year round, and finding livery nearby is nigh impossible. He's also reached a stage where he doesn't want to do the things his little rider wants to do (jumping, careering round), he would be perfectly happy being a lead rein plod for years. I can't loan him out as that would mean three if I got her a more foward going pony and if he ended up coming back, and I cannot afford three (well I could, but I suspect I would be suddenly on my own if I announced I had one useful and two useless animals - well, the companion IS useful as my son's in hand pony, but the OH doesn't see it like that!), it's just totally ridiculous.
I can't sell, he's her best friend and owes us nothing. PTS is just stupid, because he's so much to give. If I could I'd find him a forever home and GIVE him away but I know I'll never find a home for him that will promise to keep him until his dying day, close by, so we could still see him. The companion is neither here nor there, hes happy to live in or out, and costs me nothing to keep. I'm also secure in the knowledge that if God forbid I suddenly couldn't keep him his old owner would have him back in a shot.

So I know how you feel. Totally.

Looking at your girl, she's something I would have liked, a confidence giving plod. I gave up riding as I've lost my confidence but secretly would take it up again if I could find something I trusted. I feel that about our oldie too, what a waste when some child could learn heaps from him, but it would have to be a very very special home and I'd want that person to have their own land so they could keep him forever.
 
brighteyes said:
Can I sell my soulmate??

Sure you can. But I sure as hell couldn't. Not at 18, and after all she's done for you.
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Couldn't have put it better myself!

I went for some years with only my two oldies to hack before I got another serious riding horse. Yes, at times it was frustrating, but I could never sell a horse who has done that much for me, at that time in their life. :(
 
Interesting subject really....

We have bought 18+ ponies in the past, but never sold. We have, however, put two out on permanent retirement loan whilst in their 20s - our circumstances changed and we were no longer able to have all our golden oldies at home, but thankfully we were able to place them with friends who would look after them to the end of their days.

OP...you say you 'need' to sell your mare and are not able to loan her....but if this is because of the money, I'm pretty sure you wont get very much for her if you were to sell her at her age. A few weeks ago I asked (in a non-sale related context!) on here how much my girl may be worth now at 15 years old (bearing in mind we were offered £20k for her as a 10 year old) and I was told somewhere in the region of £1500 (which I feel is somewhat insulting, really, considering the horse she is!). Your lass at 18 is probably worth considerably less, judging by these standards....so it surely cant be worth it for you to sell her?
 
Funnily enough I have already been offered £2K for her, so I know she would get at least that, and I would be able to get something £3k ish for what I want. But I just don't think I can sell her, she has become a member of the family, and I would worry for ever more that she wasn't happy. We went to a local show on Sunday, and she came 1st in the veteran class (in-hand), and she behaved impeccably all day. I had two different people come up to me and say if I ever considered selling her, could I consider them, one person I knew, another a complete stranger. I have never felt like this about a horse before, I think in time I will look into loaning but at my yard so I can keep a careful check on her. Thank you all so much for your comments, you have steered me into making a decision (at last)
 
I have seen this happen many times before in that the great danger is that you buy a new horse which turns out not to be what you wanted and you loose confidence again. Your daughter goes off horses and you end up with a horse you are terrified of riding out. Remember that as we get older we loose our rubber content.
Keep the horse you are happy with as you will remain safe and remain mentally calm.
Seen too many people that have traded in their old horse and ended up with a nightmare horse from hell which has caused them to loose confidence. Be happy with what you have got.
 
Glad some of the replies have helped. I personally would do everything I could to afford another horse and still keep her. Also consider that finding the 'perfect' allrounder that will teach you, been sane when competing, not bat an eyelid out hacking, easy to handle etc etc will be difficult - lots of people are looking for the same thing.

I was in a similar situation last year, my wonderful 18yo first horse has Bone Spavin and me and vet decided he was best as a light hack. I thought I would be okay with that and that progressing my riding would have to take a backseat (I'm 36yo, been riding for 7 years, mainly happy hacking but ready for more) but within a week I had a mid-life crisis, bemoaning the fact that I had never done a dressage test and never would etc.

However, there was no chance on earth I would ever sell Chumley - I love him above most things in my life, can't imagine a day without him, he really is part of my family.

Managed to convince OH to 'lend' me the money to buy another horse.. (I also have 2 mini Shetlands..) Hence I bought Toby, a 8yo who has done a bit of everything and is nicely schooled and willing - he is doing a grand job of improving my riding, having jumping lessons and I've done 3 dressage tests :)

However he is not perfect, he is still green out hacking which I am working on, so I am so thankful to still have Chumley for those lovely steady hacks on a long rein. If possible I love riding Chum even more now as the pressure is off for him to do more than he can.

Every month is a struggle money and time wise and I'm just managing to keep all four, I do it as cheap as possible, DIY, they live out, etc. But if it turns out I can't keep them all, Chum ain't going anywhere - he is with me forever - he was my first horse and he has changed my life, I owe him everything :)
 
OWLIE185 said:
I have seen this happen many times before in that the great danger is that you buy a new horse which turns out not to be what you wanted and you loose confidence again. Your daughter goes off horses and you end up with a horse you are terrified of riding out. Remember that as we get older we loose our rubber content.
Keep the horse you are happy with as you will remain safe and remain mentally calm.
Seen too many people that have traded in their old horse and ended up with a nightmare horse from hell which has caused them to loose confidence. Be happy with what you have got.
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Very true, and I do lose my confidence very easily.
 
Chumsmum said:
Glad some of the replies have helped. I personally would do everything I could to afford another horse and still keep her. Also consider that finding the 'perfect' allrounder that will teach you, been sane when competing, not bat an eyelid out hacking, easy to handle etc etc will be difficult - lots of people are looking for the same thing.

I was in a similar situation last year, my wonderful 18yo first horse has Bone Spavin and me and vet decided he was best as a light hack. I thought I would be okay with that and that progressing my riding would have to take a backseat (I'm 36yo, been riding for 7 years, mainly happy hacking but ready for more) but within a week I had a mid-life crisis, bemoaning the fact that I had never done a dressage test and never would etc.

However, there was no chance on earth I would ever sell Chumley - I love him above most things in my life, can't imagine a day without him, he really is part of my family.

Managed to convince OH to 'lend' me the money to buy another horse.. (I also have 2 mini Shetlands..) Hence I bought Toby, a 8yo who has done a bit of everything and is nicely schooled and willing - he is doing a grand job of improving my riding, having jumping lessons and I've done 3 dressage tests :)

However he is not perfect, he is still green out hacking which I am working on, so I am so thankful to still have Chumley for those lovely steady hacks on a long rein. If possible I love riding Chum even more now as the pressure is off for him to do more than he can.

Every month is a struggle money and time wise and I'm just managing to keep all four, I do it as cheap as possible, DIY, they live out, etc. But if it turns out I can't keep them all, Chum ain't going anywhere - he is with me forever - he was my first horse and he has changed my life, I owe him everything :)
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I'm glad it worked out for you :). I think what you have with Chumley is fab, you still have your old faithful if things don't go so great with the younger horse :)
 
Leary said:
Bless you, and thank you for sharing that with me. I will be 40 in a few weeks, and I do sort of think its now or never for getting into competing, and like what was said earlier, is it fair to give her oats and use spurs to make an 18 year old horse do something they really don't want to do. She could get another nervous rider back in the saddle like she did for me, or I could keep her, she could hold me back, and we could get frustrated together. A tough decision to make. Also, at 18 she could go on as a safe ploddy hack for years and years.
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I agree OP this is a really good post and sums it up for me too. I was the other side of the coin, the 15yo kid who got her first 15yo horse who took me from nowhere to jumping BIG (to me!) HTs. He'd hunted and competed all his life at a decent level and he loved getting a second chance at a quieter but still extremely fulfilling life. He was fab! Lost him at 17 and I was devastated, though looking back I had to go to uni the next year anyway.

You clearly do care about the mare. What if you advertise her and as someone said, see how you feel about her going? Might make it more real and help you make a decision. Also, if noone good comes along, she's meant to stay.

Oh and also thought, how fit is she? How much work is she in, what kind and when, and what is it you want her to do specifically? Is it something absolutely limited, like scope, or is it something buildable on? Not sure if this is relevant as my horse is younger but he is v fit and nothing supercharges them like that. They just find work so EASY. I do wish you the best of luck xxx
 
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